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it is very easy to become hot daddy sex. here is a tutorial created by our hot dad specialist.

1. be daddy

it’s very easy to be a daddy. you must simply find the child and claim it as your own. if you choose to have the intercourse, make sure you are married because premarital s*x is against the daddy documents. if you break the daddy documents then you will be banished to naughty boy island, where you will harvest loose ketchup packets for the rest of your meaningless life.

2. be hot

being hot is quite difficult. it is okay if you aren’t born naturally hot. if you are ugly man, then you can contact our elite hot dad doctors, who will simply swap brains with your ugly little self, to deceased daddies all around the world. if you are naturally hot, then please sign the consent forum on our website allowing us to use your corpse when you pass away.

3. create a hotdadchatroom account

in order to become a true hot dad, you must create a account on tumblr specifically for hotdadchatroom. to show you are a truly hot dad, please rename your username to include the phrase “hdc”, daddies will be able to tell, you are one of them. once the username has been changed, the world of hot fathers will be revealed to you.

4. send me your credit card information

ju st to verif y you a re rea l.

we at daddycorp hope you take this into consideration and become one of us. we love you “xxxtentacionstanacc”!

enter hot dad named greg’s funeral.

all of his fellow hot dads attend.

hot dad daniel is standing in front of the casket, silently mourning.

his good friend, hot dad jerry approaches him.

a hot dad named jerry: it’s such a shame that greg passed away so young. he had so much he still wanted to do. may his soul rest easy in heaven.

a hot dad named daniel: it was all my fault. i could’ve of stopped him, i was right there. but i just wasn’t hot enough.

hot dad daniel sheds a single tear, the tear hits the casket, splattering all over.

hot dad jerry: it’s not your fault, you are as hot as you could be. there was nothing any of us could do. he wanted you to see it after all, maybe there is something else to this that you aren’t seeing.

hot dad daniel turns sharply to face hot dad jerry, he begins to stare at him directly in the eye, visibly upset.

hot dad daniel: greg would never do something of the sort. something was very wrong that day and you know it.

hot dad daniel begins to raise his voice. the fellow hot dads conversating around them all stop to turn. the entire room is silent, expect for daniel.

hot dad daniel: every night i lay in bed with his final words reciting in my mind constantly. i have nightmares where i proceed to “watch him go”. greg was my best friend, and to see him die right in front of my eyes, broke me to pieces. he would know it would hurt me. he wouldn’t hurt me. he would never.

hot dad daniel begins to scream at the top of his lungs. as he speaks, he cries intensely. he has lost all restraint of his own emotions.

hot dad daniel: you don’t know greg. you don’t fucking know him the way i do. i’ve known him my whole life. he saved my life back in afghanistan. i love that man like he was my brother. you could never even fathom how impactful he was to my life. i would be dead if it wasn’t for him. he wouldn’t do this to me. he wouldn’t. he is still out there i feel it. i feel him. he’s there.

hot dad jerry becomes confused and scared as he slowly backs away from daniel as he pours his emotions out. daniel is crying on the floor, spouting the phrase “he’s alive”, “i feel him”, “he feels me”. he begins to be carried out the building by staff.

the entire room is mortified by the events that just happened. they begin to gossip about what could of caused that whole ordeal.

a distinct creak echoes through the room.

a hot dad named greg: shit i overslept.

to be continued?

(pic unrelated)