[CONGRATULATIONS, PILOT. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN. ACCESS IS YOURS, AS LONG AS YOU CAN KEEP IT.] NOW SEND US HATE MAIL WE DONT GIVE A SHIT WE'LL JUST DOX YOU
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This shit ain't nothing to me, man. I fronted some of your gamer boys a brick of that atomic transcendental catgirl codemind First Contact Accord-violating shit and I need my money! There are two constants in the universe: Goblins always get structured, and Dracula always gets his due. I smoke shit so dangerous I make castigating Manticores look OSHA-compliant. War is all I think about. The Orochi Protocol was inspired by the way I tear mechs and motherfuckers limb from limb. I'm moving uncanny. I'm moving irregular. This shit ain't nothing to me, man
oh so were just quoting dracula flow 17504 in our inbox now huh
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When talking about you it's always about the Horrors and the Trolling, but what about the religious discourse?
I'm curious about the fascinating world of theological discussion around the worship of RA.
and speaking of our lord RA omg were so glad you asked!! we dont get a lot of questions about this cos we think a lot of lancers tend to forget that the public usually associates us with the adherents of RA but it is a very interesting topic
HORUS's opinions on It are divided as usual but most of our worship can be considered heretical to others depending on how you define the first contact accords. like we consider it a holy text but we believe that commandments were made to be broken, no? thats a relatively unifying opinion for a lot of the religiously inclined HORUS cells which happen to include us, but theres a rare few sects actually interested in enforcing the FCA instead, and within our type of worship the reasoning behind our attempts to invite Deimos to visit differs a lot and we have one of the more niche relationships with the Accords
we personally would consider it a very high honor to be graced by Its presence and much of our work is dedicated towards that goal. "wont RA only show up if It's gonna blow up your planet" asteroid* but yea more or less. its not about the physical consequence its about having the opportunity to witness divinity
for a great many of our colleagues of course its not about witnessing divinity and more seeking out the End Times, really. destroy humanity so that it may be reborn once more in a better era and so on. basically a solid chunk of HORUS is edgy death cults. unlike us, like technically you wouldnt be wrong to call us a death cult but we at least are normal about it
So, the Lich I found/always piloted now has a Deimosian inside.
What are its class and cycling schedule?
BATES here. You know I'm just in the other room right? Don't you think it's rude to talk to strangers before asking me?
Ok... uhm... alright, sorry for being disrespectful, I'm coming in a second.
Tech support, please answer the question anyway.
bruv we arent omniscient we dont always know the class of NHP that spawns in every mech we created... its probably a DIDYMOS clone tho. DIDYMOS doesnt really have a cycling schedule you just kinda do it when it starts speaking exclusively in tongues
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hey! How does one pat a Lich without potentially getting hurled into a time loop?
the lichs code has safeguards against that, as long as you don't fuck too much with the chronostutter settings youre actually less likely to get stuck in a time loop, statistically*
*: we only say this because we the account runners know a few guys who got stuck in a time loop and none of them were lich pilots
Uninstall your Balor hardware from my Nelson? I was printing it and then BAM. Nanites. Like, I don't have any problems with the Balor, but it's not what my group needs right now and I we only have so much hanger space. I don't want to just throw it out the airlock. But also I can't keep it. I could drop it off on a diaspora world I guess, but that might cause some problems.
I am having trouble claiming my Barbarossa. I filled out all the paperwork and went through all the channels and everything is in order. But every time I try to print it, it looks good at first, it looks like a Barbarossa. But then it starts trembling and shaking and it dissolves into particles, and then the particles gather themselves up and reform themselves, and once again it’s a balor.
Help????
Thank you for your message;
We uhhh. . . .
We have no clue how to help you.
hello hello welcome welcome. welcome 2 the HORUS guide 4 HORUS tech aka horus-unofficial.tumblr3.un gives you extremely comprehensive and very useful insight into its "pattern groups" and "licenses". we are your host harold HORUS here today to talk to you about our beautiful darling cunt of a child, the LICH
nobody knows how the lich came 2 be. some buddies of ours say they invented it 9989 years from now which is weird bcos anyone normal would wait another decade before sending that shit back in time to hit that sweet 9999 and keep people guessing as to whether these files actually are from that far in the future, or if the lucky terminal receiving this code just stopped bothering to count the years after 15015u. either way, the lich is here now, and back then, and most certainly at some point in the future, and it kinda looks like we probably did invent it so that means we are in the clear to act like we're the ones who made it!
the lich sucks! its terrible! with glass bones and paper skin and a reactor that overheats at room temperature, a gust of wind could leave a dent in this PG's plating, which is made from samples of styrofoam and bubble wrap warped straight from the insides of pre-Fall packages labeled "FRAGILE, HANDLE WITH CARE" (a perfect bumper sticker for your lich, should you find yourself piloting one sometime within the next -50 to 250 years). you can tell no former members of harrison armory's R&D department were involved in the designing of the lich because the only thing those fuckers know how to do is create industrial microwaves, and the lich's reactor is the most slipshod, poorly-coded shit in the known universe. the only code regulating the lich's reactor is "reactor = cool" and not only are neither "reactor" nor "cool" defined anywhere in the system code, but HOR_OS doesn't even use = signs.
you may ask us, "if the lich is so shit, why do people pilot it?" and we are so glad you asked! generally speaking, answers to this question fall into one of two variations:
- "it's a funny mech"
- "why is everyone saying i pilot a lich??? i pilot a nelson!!! what do you mean that's my lich frame in the mech bay and i've had it for years, i literally don't have a single HORUS license, @horus-unofficial please advise"
the lich's victorian orphan-esque constitution aside, its biggest strength as a frame is likely its ability to send itself to the seaside for a much needed mental health break should it encounter the slightest hint of adversity on the battlefield. its no wonder the lich is so frail, the entirety of our nonexistent R&D budget went into making this thing the most annoying roleplayer on the playground. "you hit me with your sword? nuh-uh, i dodge. oh you run me through on your spear, killing me instantly? well it turns out that that body wasn't actually me, i've been dramatically looking down upon this duel from up there on those cliffs the whole time!" <- words most commonly spoken by future lich pilots at 11 years old
this allows it to be unexpectedly versatile in combat- with a refundable get out of jail free card and a maximum speed comparable to most of SSC's catalogue, it can weave through dangerous zones in combat with unexpected efficiency, allowing it to support allies from virtually any range, and instigate the occasional skirmish if its pilot is so inclined. we dont necessarily advise that you choose violence as a lich pilot, only that its a more viable choice of function than you might initially think
the lich plays with the timestream with the same enthusiasm as a preschooler in a sandbox, both in regards to itself and anything (un)fortunate enough to be within its sensor range. for every timeline where the lich is playing support for its allies and being so kind and niceys, there's another timeline where it gleefully tears into its adversaries until it overextends and dies respawns in another timeline, and it's through this universal law that an unusually principled lich pilot might find themselves taking a hit for its allies before immediately redeeming that get out of jail free card we mentioned earlier. of course, "principled HORUS pilot" is an oxymoron, so if your squad has a lich pilot what actually happens is more along the lines of being teamed with the biggest fucking nuisance on your planet, who pretends to toodle about the battlefield all combat because the truth is they've been stuck in a time loop for 7 years, and are well beyond the point of caring.
bottom line: if you encounter a lich in combat, dont even bother targeting it. it's unkillable except for when it isn't, and its banned from every omninet roleplay forum in the known universe for a reason
I'm eagerly waiting for the variable time lock I set on various appliances around the station to expire and start injecting kobold code into them. It's gonna be real funny I promise
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I am the current pilot of a heavily modified Lich, i do not know why or how it has arrived here and i assume i will/have piloted it in the past/future/present.
i am currently outfitting it for long range sniping and stealth operations, including an exotic long range energy weapon targeting elements from a pegasus, and cloaking components from a Metalmark.
i am curious if you have any suggestions on an NHP that would fit with my style of combat.
Signed: [REDACTED]
what the hell is union contacting us for hello we hate your ass oh but its the DOJ/HR ok you guys are sinking underneath the ice we dont like you. but youre not the USB so whatever
we dont think theres anyone in particular that jumps out to us if your game plan is sniping and stealth, but SISYPHUS and ATHENA clones seem like the most optimal partners in terms of their capabilities cos theyre able to run some pretty artillery-friendly support for you
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