Hornyblyss

You were such a smart, promising student--and those great test scores and the stack of grad school acceptance letters were ample proof. And remember how great a runner you used to be? That handful of marathon finishers medals at the back of your closet are something to be treasured.

But thankfully that clever, athletic past version of you made the decision to let me fuck you on an unsafe day and change the course of your life forever. If not for that "unwise" decision, you never would have found your true purpose or unlocked your full potential. Without that moment of horny carelessness, you never would experienced that downright addicting sensation of constant, warm fullness or that life-altering sensation of fulfillment that comes from growing new life inside of you.

Without that brief moment when you ignored that clever and rational part of your brain and instead indulged in your primal instincts, you never would have realized what you were truly built for. Now that your body is transformed and your brain remolded by pregnancy hormones you are at last your final, finished, optimum version of yourself.

Your intelligence will make you a great mother, and will (hopefully) make smart offspring; your physical fitness will make your many pregnancies more tolerable. But you now understand--and joyfully embrace--that all of your many good qualities are in service of your greatest strength: breeding.