I HATE THIS RED THING, I SPIT ON YOU

I had to check this wasn’t The Onion

Pulitzer Prize type shit

Why's this dude built like crash bandicoot

Everything about this damn post is so funny to me. The lighting of the arm from the flash. The posing of the arm like a dramatic death from a novella. The fact the photo somehow got taken still and looks this good. The subreddit name. The fact this guy really is built like crash bandicoot

buying a big censer on a chain secondhand from an orthodox priest's estate sale so i can put my fairy in there and swing her ass around the room

oh you think it's funny to smoke weed all day in your cage and make my apartment stink while i'm at work all day. cmere. i hope you like sandalwood & being so dizzy you puke, ya little fuckin menace

No one cared who I was until I put on the cage

my personal experience of Iron Lung is sooo special to me. i watched the movie in the cinema but i had poured a 15% ABV alcoholic energy drink directly into my slushy which sank directly to the bottom, failed to consider this, essentially skulled that whole drink before the credits were even finished and was so drunk i dont remember any of the movie other than that i continued to sip my second drink every time markilplier said "fuck" or "when there was blood on screen" and then tried to rewatch it in 144p on a projector on my BLUE living room wall where it looked like the evil version of Iron Lung where instead of blood it was shit. not had any thoughts about the movie ever since and i think thats very beautiful. someone tell Markiplier im sorry.

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

they teach you the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, but in a pinch you can apply the silver rule (be kinda selfish because you’ve earned it) or even the bronze rule (manipulate others purely for your benefit).

There's also the stone rule: Just start hitting people.

that’s right