I HATE THIS RED THING, I SPIT ON YOU

i’m ngl “our age of bronze is collapsing” is one of the most hilarious things i’ve ever heard. people in the bronze age notably did not have any earthly idea that the period of time they lived in would be characterized by bronze as a material, classical hellenistic cultures called it the age of heroes in retrospect but characterizing timeframes in terms of materials is a modern invention from historians, not a cultural classification. i know it’s a bit of a nitpick i just can’t help but feel like, as a historian, it would immediately rip me out of the moment and make me scoff out loud to hear a greek hero say that bc of the sheer prevalence of the term “bronze age collapse” to explain an extremely complex multifaceted collapse of a web of societies. it feels like if “it’s morbin time” was actually said in morbius

Still thinking about how, the other night when I went out while on shrooms, the waitress came to our table and was like “Are you raccoonmilf?” And then she walked me over to another room that was all red with mirrors on the ceiling to introduce me to a table of people who were just talking about me. And to me, it felt like I was being pulled from my place in another demension and forced to appear like a dove out of a magician’s hat for this nice family. And then a guy at the table next to them also recognized me and told me he was wearing raccoon socks and I was just like 👁️👄🧿 “that’s so cool I love raccoons”

nature documentary but the narration is just weird enough to make you question it

“Some fish can walk out of water, so remember that next time.”

“You might think you’re safe, but horses are omnivores”

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles