relapse regress recycle

the most fucked up thing about the tmwwbk superman mistake is like…….. we know. we know from the leaf raking scene that cas’ whole invisible stalker routine didn’t start as espionage. it started as a way of being close to his friends without disturbing them. and cas forgetting that they didn’t know he was there for the superman thing…….. how much of his relationship with these people has been conducted onesidedly, cas watching them without their knowledge because he doesn’t know any other way to spend time with them. that’s socializing, to him.

#sdjfksdjfksj what was the post about#the thing cas said about humans.. being his father’s creations.. works of art#and like. you never expect a sunset to admire you back…#but also like… how a lot of ppl visit art galleries and view the art but don’t necessarily like.. INTERACT with it#bc they have this idea of what it is to view art in a gallery#and it is to kind of stare at it pensively from 5 feet away#but also like#you develop a relationship with the art but like.. what if you’re viewing is like a thinking being. what then#or like those jokes about like. well imagine if you became bug-sized and knew the bug-language how would you know you wouldn’t fall in love#with a bug. but like the idea of like.. well what IS a human’s relationship with an ant farm#wait okay this is like two separate directions here. but anyway the idea of like… are you communing with art when you look at it#from a safe distance. are you getting to know the ants in your ant farm individually#maybe this is a third direction the melancholy of the sunset admire you back one…#maybe the mood is like. that post about how cas is just content to exist in dean’s orbit- but maybe he SHOULD have expected/taken more#maybe him being content to exist in dean’s orbit IS partially a tragedy too and not just a thing of devotional beauty

#and im sorry but. the way this all links to ‘happiness isnt in the having its just saying it’#does he know! does he know that love isnt just one sided observation as devotion! does he Know that the having is the important part!!

like misha collins in season 4 was making too much eye contact or not enough eye contact, wasn’t blinking and stood too close to the person he was shooting the scene with (which happened to be jensen ackles for most of the early episodes) because he was trying to portray an ancient cosmic entity the size of the chrysler building who is beyond human comprehension and possessing a human body for presumably the first time. it wasn’t meant to be gay necessarily, it was supposed to be a creature not quite grasping the subtleties of human interaction and it read as gay because that’s what happens when you stand so close you can track pupil dilation. jensen ackles, however, responded to this acting choice by nervously licking his lips and staring at his coworker’s mouth and swallowing a lot and there is no excuse for this because both he and dean winchester are human beings who know what a boner is. no excuse.

everyone on this post who is like hashtag heller queen jackles this is proof of the jackles longcon has fundamentally misunderstood me. the point is that misha collins was the only one making conscious acting decisions here. jensen was, at best, being puppeteered by a repressed bisexual ghost named dean. at worst he was extremely bad at acting intimidated and just came across as uncomfortably horny the entire time. either way the end result is the same

after the events of 10x05 fanfiction when dean is reminded of adam’s existence AND the fact that he’s still in the cage he says to sam, like, “hey, do you think we should, like, do something about that? try to save him?” and sam thinks about the two hundred years in the cage where michael & adam were too busy batting their eyelashes at each other and comparing hand sizes to prevent literally any of the personalized torture sam was facing by way of the devil and he’s like “nah i’m good actually. fuck them kids”

adam as himself and michael presenting himself in the cage as a visualization of adam’s body the way lucifer appeared to sam as nick holding their hands up together giggling like “omg theyre the EXACT same size” and out of focus in the far background sam’s in the active process of getting crucified

i cant believe "ill kill the pretty one" "theyre equally pretty" "ill kill the small one then" is like . actual dialogue that happened on supernatural . about dean and cas

in the end. they made it gay on purpose

they "haha gay"ed too close to the sun