Meawshall Tito

“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials. and the cost is more than i can bear

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

bon appetit -> bone apple teeth -> bone ??? ??? -> osteoporosis

Strongly and intentionally ignoring all the bullshit that happened in the middle, it's actually probably a very good thing my mom and dad aren't living retired life together, because my mom's version of retired life that she's currently happily living is waking up, having coffee near the lake, then reading and playing iPad games for 14 hours with the dog asleep nearby. And my dad's version of retired life is I get a text from him with a picture of 1,000,000 hot air balloons in the sky with a caption like "At the New Mexico Hot Air Balloon Festival 🙂" which is a thing that clearly sprung into existence just for this text

all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

Fork found in Bathroom #Mystery #Unexplained