Hi!

I'd rather be kicked in the balls than told that lizards don't have boobs

Please.

I'm not the lizard queen for no reason!!!

Pedants have you saying shit like "dragons aren't real" which is a fucking devastating position to be in

It's so devastating when Jordan B. Peterson says something correct.

I'm not Jordan B. Peterson, I'm the lizard.

reblog this post to give the person you reblogged it from bigger breasts

reblog this if your icon could kill a man

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

I know it’s fetishistic and unrealistic but I do occasionally think about dating a cis girl

I mean obviously it wouldn’t ever happen. but I feel comfortable admitting sometimes I do think it would be interesting. just one of my more distant thoughts

(no beers in) i could really go for a beer right now

(two beers in) mmmm (slaps my belly) i could use another beer right now

(five beers in) (attacking strangers) (frightened animal backed into a corner) (blood stains the cracks in the pavement) (mothers wait for sons who will never come home) (flags rest still at the bottom of their poles) (the birds are silent and the wind does not blow) (there are no clouds in the sky) (there is no more water in the well)

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.