What's your damage?

What happened?

Apparently parents don't like it when you screw up your life. Who would've known?

Can I come?

Storm! I knew the offices felt hotter the last few days. Obviously, all your fault. Of course you can come, you're one of the bitches who's gonna get fucked.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Who knows? But whatever it is, you obviously enjoy it.

What sexual tension? The only fucking tension I feel is in my hand, because I’m itching to slap some sense into you. 

Oh, kinky. I could totally get into this.

So that automatically means I want to fuck you? That I want to date you? Fuck that logic, I’m not buyin’ a single thing you’re sellin’ sweetie.

Basically, yeah. The sexual tension is high, it's cool. I don't know what you're used to but I'm not selling anything. Don't worry, though. If that's what you're into then I'm not going to judge you. 

What the fuck makes you think I want anything to do with you?

Well, you keep talking to me so. 

First off, you’re the one who was talking about your damn waiter. I don’t give two shits about what went down between you and the fucking Starbucks barista. Secondly, I call you a bitch because you’re not worth the effort it takes to come up with a colorful insult. You’re not special, princess.

And yet you put all of that effort into commenting on what I said. I'm flattered, honestly. Though, you should probably know that I'm not single and definitely not interested. You're far too defensive for my liking.

Lets grown old together Holls, cause It’s times like that when I wish that there was an actual Urban Dictionary that I could just reach for in my bag whenever the kids talk their lingo. 

Should I start looking for nursing homes with double rooms? There are some amazing ones these days, y'know. It's basically like living in a mini-hotel. Same, I'm so out of touch. Everything just goes right over my head. It took me like, three months to figure out what twerking was.

I think you’re exaggerating  just the slightest bit and that’s why Urban Dictionary is a thing.

Exaggerating? I'm not exaggerating I'm gettin old. I haven't even used Urban Dictionary in years, I'm old.

You’re getting old because you don’t understand a sentence from a conversation that you weren’t a part of. Right. Beautiful logic, that is.

Did I say that I wasn't part of the conversation? I said that he was serving me so clearly I was the one he was speaking to. Keep up, sweetheart. Falling behind doesn't look cute on you.