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           My homegirl Michele always tagged along with me to gay clubs and made me go with her to other clubs and parties all the time because she hated it when dudes who weren’t her type would hit on her. Whenever we were together in a place with straight guys, dudes automatically assumed she was with me and rarely approached us to talk to her. The one damn weekend that I was out of town and couldn’t be with her, she ended up meeting Ivan at a club. It wasn’t that I was picky about who got to date my best friend, I just wished she would’ve started talking to someone other than Ivan Campbell. I knew him. No, he wasn’t some player that I’d heard about. I knew Ivan because me and him used to fuck.

           He told me that he was bisexual when we first met over a year ago. He also told me that he was equally attracted to men and women. However, I never in a million years would have thought he’d end up talking to my best friend. She talked about him nonstop, too. I knew when Michele really liked a guy and I could tell by the way she talked about Ivan that she was ready to give him some. I was completely torn. Yeah, my loyalty was with her but Ivan was closeted. I couldn’t just out him like that. The fact that he was pretending not to be bothered by it was making me feel some type of way. I had to say something to him.

           “I knew you’d come by here one day,” he said to me as I stood in his apartment doorway. “What’s good, Taj?”

           “We need to talk,” I said as I barged my way inside his apartment.

           “Yo, I didn’t invite you in.”

           “I don’t give a fuck. Ivan, I was gonna sit back and not say shit but Michele keeps talking about you and it seems like it’s getting serious.”

           He closed the door and told me, “That’s because it is. I really like her.”

           “Okay, so you’re going to tell her you’re bisexual”

           “What? Hell nah I’m not gonna tell her that. Nobody needs to know that.”

           “Ivan, that’s my best friend.”

           “So?”

           “Just last year me and you were fucking. Nah, we weren’t just fucking; we were exclusively fucking.”

           “What does that have to do with me and Michele?”

           “Nigga, are you serious? I know my friend and she would want to know if the man she’s involved with is bisexual. She deserves to know the truth.”

                                       Me (Tajir “Taj” Jackson)

           “So, just because I’m bi that means I’m gonna cheat on her with random niggas? I guess you’re forgetting that I got tested with you so we could fuck without condoms. You were the only person I fucked for eight months. I don’t cheat. I’m not that kind of dude and you know it.”

           “First of all, I was protecting myself. I never have unprotected sex with someone who hasn’t been recently tested. Second of all, me and you had already been fucking with condoms for over a month before that point. Third of all, this has nothing to do with me thinking you’d cheat on her. She has a right to know you’re bi.”

           “No, she doesn’t.”

           “You’re really going to make me have to tell her, aren’t you?”

           “Man, what the fuck is this really about? Huh? You must be big mad because it didn’t work out between us.”

           I laughed out loud and exclaimed, “Nigga, please! I was the one who stopped talking to you. The shit we had going wasn’t even that deep. Yeah, we hung out at the mall sometimes and worked out together at the gym but let’s be honest here; it was always about the sex. We’re both vers and love seeing who can fuck the hardest and who can take dick the longest before tapping out. We were friends with benefits and when I realized I wanted more, I walked away from it.”

           He stood there looking at me for the longest before saying, “Bruh, it’s time for you to go.”

           “I thought I was big mad, though?”

           “Get the fuck out my apartment, nigga!”

           “No! Either you’re going to tell Michele or I am. I’m not gonna keep lying to my friend for your ass.”

           “You want me to come out as bisexual to clear your conscience?”

           “I’m not asking you to tell everyone you’re bisexual. I’m telling you to be honest with Michele.”

           “Telling me?”

           “Yes! I’m not gonna let this go on longer than it has to. She doesn’t have to know me and you fucked last year. I just want her to know that you’re bisexual. If I have to tell her, then I will tell her about us.”

           “Yeah, because you’re jealous.”

                                                 Ivan Campbell

           “No, because I don’t want my friend with a fucking liar! Is that the kind of man you want to be?”

           “I’m not lying to her. She doesn’t need to know about us and definitely doesn’t need to know I’m bi. When me and her start having sex, I’m only going to be with her. You know that.”

           I shook my head and smiled as I approached him and asked, “Is that right?”

           “Yes. I don’t fuck around like that.”

           “So, if some dude that you find attractive hits on you, you’ll just ignore him?”

           “Yeah.”

           I got closer to him and looked him up and down as I asked, “Even if he’s your type?”

           “I wouldn’t do that Michele and you know it.”

           “Okay. What about if it’s a dude you’ve fucked with already? One that knows how much you like to get freaky after the gym.” I got so close up on him that our bodies touched and asked, “You still like getting freaky when you’re sweaty and funky after the gym, don’t you?”

           “What are you doing?”

           I grabbed the zipper on his sweatshirt and pulled it down, exposing his shirtless body underneath. I smiled and asked, “You just returned from the gym, didn’t you? I bet you could use some good head and a rim job right about now, huh? I bet them balls and that ass taste good as fuck right about now.” I looked down and when I saw how hard his dick was in his sweatpants, I shouted, “I knew it! I fucking knew it!”

           He pushed me and shouted, “Get off of me!”

           “Nope, don’t even try that shit. Your dick is hard!” I pointed to the noticeable boner in his sweatpants.

           “That don’t mean shit! Don’t even flatter yourself. I don’t want you.”

           “And I don’t want you. All I want is for you to be honest with Michele. You have until tonight.”

           “Tonight?”

           “Yes.”

           “She won’t believe you.”

           “She will after I show her all of our text messages, including the many dick and ass pics we sent each other over our eight-month sex-only relationship.”

           “Fuck you, Tajir. I mean that.” He stepped over to his door and opened it before telling me, “Get the fuck out, now!”

           Without saying anything else to him, I left his apartment. As I drove home, I tried to imagine how Michele would react to me telling her that I used to have a thing with Ivan. She’d said on many occasions that she never wanted to be in a relationship with a guy who was on the downlow, but I knew if Ivan was honest with her and told her that he’s bisexual she might give him a chance. I had nothing against them being together because I didn’t have feelings for him like that, but I didn’t want my friend with someone who would keep something that serious from her. I really didn’t want to out Ivan but he was putting me in a difficult position and as I’ve said, my loyalty will always be with my friend.

           “That pizza was good,” Michele said to me later that night in her apartment. “Thanks for coming over with it, Taj.”

                                             Michele Gordon

           “I owed you,” I said back before taking a sip from my wine. “You paid for the movie we went to see last weekend. So, what else you got planned for tonight?”

           “Nothing. You know there’s usually nothing going on during the week.”

           “True. How’s everything with Ivan?”

           “Taj, that man is damn near perfect. He calls me just to see how my day went and texts me goodnight and good morning every night and morning. I think I’m gonna take it to the next level with him this weekend.”

           “You’re gonna give him some?”

           “He’s been hinting at it and we’ve already been talking about what we like and don’t like sexually. I honestly think we’re ready for it.” Her phone vibrated and she quickly picked it up. Her eyes lit up as she said, “Ooh, it’s a text from Ivan. Let me see what my boo thang wants.” She read the text and then looked at me and said, “Taj, you gotta go.”

           “Why?”

           “Ivan is on his way over. I need to go wash my face and put my hair up and…”

           “Michele, we need to talk.”

           “What? Boy, we’ve already been talking tonight. Thanks for the pizza but you gotta go, baby boy.”

           “No, I can’t. I really need to talk to you.”

           “About what? Taj, what’s going on?”

           “I think it would be best to wait until Ivan gets here.”

           “Okay, what does he have to do with anything concerning you?”

           “It’s very complicated and after you learn everything, I don’t know if you’ll want to be my friend anymore.”

           “Now you’re scaring me.”

           “I don’t mean to. I really don’t, Michele. Just know that I’m very, very sorry and I am and always will be your best friend.”

           She sat there and looked at me for the longest as we waited for Ivan to arrive. My heart was pounding in my chest and I was extremely stressed during that fifteen-minute wait. When Ivan got there, Michele went to the door and let him in. He stepped inside and when he noticed me sitting on the sofa, he turned back to Michele and asked, “What’s going on?”

           “Taj told me he has something to tell me,” she explained. “And that it has something to do with you.”

           I stood up and pleaded, “Ivan, do the right thing. Just tell her.”

           “Tell me what?”

           “Nothing,” Ivan said to her. He then looked at me and said, “Man, you need to leave. You already tried this shit at my apartment.”

           “Tried what at your apartment?” Michele asked.

           Realizing what path he was about to go down, I went ahead and confessed, “Last year for eight months, me and Ivan had an exclusive friends with benefits relationship. I have been wanting to tell you since you and him met, but I was torn between outing him as bisexual and being loyal to you. Michele, I am sorry. This isn’t how I wanted it to go.”

           “Yeah, right,” Ivan snapped. “Your punk ass wanted it to go down like this because you still want me!”

           I rolled my eyes and told him, “I actually think you two would look great together. I wanted you to be real with her as proof that you took her feeling seriously. Ivan, this had nothing to do with my nonexistent feelings for you.”

           “You two had sex?” Michele asked, looking back and forth at us. “Like, y’all were boyfriends?”

           “No,” I quickly replied. “We weren’t boyfriends. We just had a sexual agreement. There were no feelings attached. Well, at least on my part.”

           “You are so wrong for this shit, man,” Ivan said while shaking his head.

           “No, I am not! All you had to do was tell her. If she wanted to break it off with you because of it, then fine. But you owed her the damn truth, Ivan!”

           “That’s right,” Michele said. “You should’ve just told me. You’ve been honest with me about so much, but you hide this? Ivan, I don’t care if you’re bisexual.”

           When she said that, he looked at her and asked, “You don’t?”

           “No. I’m not one of those women who can’t be with a bisexual man or who believes there’s no such thing as bisexual men. I know that it’s possible to be attracted to men and women and I have no problem with that. What I have a problem with is you being with my friend.”

           “What?” I asked. “Michele, it wasn’t anything serious. It honestly was just eight months of friends with benefits.”

           “I believe you and I believe that it was without strings on your part, Taj.” She looked back at Ivan and said, “I just don’t believe it was for you. The moment Taj said he didn’t have feelings for you, you put your head down. I saw it. I noticed the change in your demeanor.”

           “But baby…”

           “No, Ivan. I think you’re one of the best guys I’ve ever dated but I can’t be with someone who may have feelings for my best friend. It wouldn’t feel right and I’ll always have to wonder what if.”

           “You can trust me,” I told her. “Nothing will ever happen between me and Ivan again.”

           “I don’t think there’s anything either of you could say to change my mind. I’m sorry.” She stepped over to Ivan and hugged him before saying, “I wish you the best. I hope we can still be friends.”

           “Yeah, me too,” he said back. After their hug, he looked at me and said, “I hope you’re happy.”

           “This didn’t have to happen,” I said back.

           “Yeah, whatever. I’m out of here.” He turned to the door and left the apartment.

           I stepped over to her and offered, “I’m really sorry about this, Michele. I should’ve said something when you first told me about him. I honestly thought he’d tell you at least that he was bi.”

           “I feel like I dodged a bullet.”

           “You know he wouldn’t have ever cheated on you, right?”

           “I know that. But I also know he’s not over you. I could see it in his eyes.”

           I laughed and said, “No, that’s not what it is.”

           “Tajir, I’m serious. The way he was looking at you and the tone of his voice when he’s talking to you, it’s all there. Ivan has feelings for you.”

           I thought she was crazy so I just laughed it off. After apologizing to her a few more times and making plans to hang out that weekend, I left her apartment. When I got downstairs to my car and saw Ivan standing by it, I said, “If you’re planning on hitting me, at least let me take off my shoes because I paid a good grip for them.”

           He laughed and told me, “I’m not gonna hit you.”

           “Then why are you still here?”

           “Because she saw right through me, man. Michele saw right through me.”

           “What are you talking about?”

           “Look, I wouldn’t have cheated on her because as you know I’m not a cheater. But Michele got it right when she said I have feelings for you. Taj, what we had was based on sex but when you told me you wanted to stop, it did kinda hurt me.”

           “It did?”

           “Yes.”

           “Why didn’t you say anything?”

           “Because I have a hard time telling people what I want. I really like Michele, but I do still like you. You said you wanted more and in my head, I told myself I could be more for you. But I didn’t say it. I know I should’ve but I didn’t.”

           “Ivan, this has become even more complicated because you’ve been dating my best friend.”

           “So, there’s really no chance that me and you can start something?”

           “Something like what? Ivan, you’re closeted and I’m not.”

           “And you’re not willing to work with me on that? I mean; damn, do you not believe in signs? I had no idea Michele was your best friend and I ended up talking to her. Now, me and you are here in this very moment. This isn’t a coincidence.”

           “Ivan, I don’t know. I’m not really into dating closeted bisexual guys. I like to go out on dates, not stay behind closed doors twenty-four/seven.”

           “Well, I’m not going to be coming out as bisexual to everyone tomorrow but I can give you my word that I’ll work on it. But I bet that’s not good enough, huh?” He shook his head and leaned against my car before asking, “How about we go out to eat tomorrow night?”

           “Are you serious?”

           “I’m very serious. I already know what you like sexually and you already know what I like. So, we can talk about other stuff tomorrow.”

           “I’d have to talk to Michele to make sure she’d be cool with it, but I don’t see any harm in it.” I smiled and shook my head before asking, “All of this isn’t because I made your dick get hard earlier, is it?”

           He laughed and admitted, “You made me horny when you said all that shit about licking my balls and my ass, but it’s not only because of that. I’m mad that it didn’t work out for me and Michele, but I do think it could work out between me and you. So, meet me at the China Express on Calvert Street tomorrow at eight. I’m buying.”

           “I’ll see what Michele says. If she feels some type of way about it then I won’t be there.”

           He stopped leaning on my car and stepped up to me as he said with a smile on his face, “You’ll be there.” He licked his lips and looked me up and down before heading over to his car and leaving.

           I rolled my eyes and laughed as I finally admitted to myself, “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

© D.A. Morrison 2017

           When I got assigned to handle the ‘Athlete of the Month’ article for the university magazine at the beginning of my junior year, I was initially annoyed because I wasn’t into sports at all. But after spending most of the school year writing that article every month, I actually got used to it and looked forward to interviewing the many male and female athletes at my college. I didn’t know any of them personally but after sitting down and talking to them I learned that a lot of them were very down to earth. However, none were as down to earth as Stephon Westbrook. I will never forget the day I had to interview him because it turned out to be one of the most interesting days of my life.

           After communicating with him through e-mail for a couple of days to set everything up, I met with him in the basketball team’s weight training room for the interview. The moment I stepped inside and my eyes met his, I felt something. It wasn’t an overwhelming feeling but it was definitely noticeable. He had a certain aura that just hit me and connected with me instantly. I’d never gotten that feeling before when just meeting someone yet it felt so familiar. I suddenly found myself experiencing a serious case of déjà vu.

           “Are you Gabriel Boudreau?” he asked me, approaching me with a big smile on his face.

           “I am,” I replied. “How are you?”

           “I’m good.” He extended his hand for me to shake and I shook it. “It’s good to finally meet you in person. Have we had any classes together before?”

           “Not that I can think of. Why?”

           “It feels like I know you from somewhere.”

                                       Me (Gabriel Boudreau)

           “That’s funny. I feel like I know you from somewhere, too.” We shared a little laugh but I stopped when I noticed he was still holding onto my hand. Noticing it himself, he quickly let go and sat down on a workout bench.

           “I didn’t think I’d ever get picked before graduating.”

           “The vote among the magazine staff was unanimous, so congrats.”

           “Unanimous, huh? So that means you voted for me, too?”

           “I sure did after learning that you were involved with so much stuff on and off campus. You really are a model student.” I pulled out my iPhone and iPad. “Are you ready to begin?”

           “Yeah, I’m ready.”

           “Okay.” I turned on my phone’s voice recorder and then pulled up my set of questions on my iPad. “What has basketball always meant to you?”

           He smiled that charming smile of his before answering, “Basketball was and will always be my first love. It is what kept me going for all this time. The game and the culture is almost like religion to me. I can sit here and literally break down each and every fundamental aspect of basketball to you if you had the time.”

           “So I take it basketball has been a part of your life since childhood?”

           “Yes. Some of my first memories are of my dad taking me to the park to watch him and his friends play on Saturday afternoons. And then when my little brother Cameron got older, my dad would bring him with us.”

           “When did you know that basketball was what you wanted to do?”

           “My first game when I was six. My dad signed me up for this small team at the local rec center and I practice so much for that first game. And when we won, I knew basketball was what I wanted to do. It became the most important thing to me outside of my family.”

           I was about to ask him one of my other prepared questions but something told me to ask him more about his family. I looked away from my iPad screen and into his eyes and asked, “Does your little brother play as well?”

           “Nah, he was born with autism.”

           “Oh, I’m sorry.”

           “He’s two years younger than me so he was always following me around and looking up to me. For the longest time, I was the only person he’d talk to and listen to. He’d run up to me after my games and be like, ‘Stephon, I wanna be just like you when I grow up.’ And it was crazy because I’m not that much older than him but he doesn’t see it that way.” He paused for a second before admitting, “He humbles me in a lot of ways. He really…” He got choked up and a little teary-eyed.

           “Take your time.”

           “I’m good. I just get a little emotional when talking about him because that’s my best friend. He looks up to me and thinks I’m the greatest person ever, and he doesn’t even know that he’s my hero. You know? He inspires me. It just gets to me sometimes.” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath.

           I found myself getting a little teary-eyed so I asked, “Do you wanna take a quick break?”

           “Nah, I’m good. I can keep going. Sorry about that.”

           “You’re fine.”

           As the interview continued and I got to learn more about him, I realized that Stephon was possibly the most open and compassionate student at Richland University. He was willing to discuss everything from his favorite brand of socks to what he actually thought about during his basketball games. I’d never had such an in-depth interview with any of the other ‘Athlete of the Month’ students. When the interview was over, I wanted to kick myself for not thinking of more questions to ask him. However, it was me who ended up answering questions once the recorder was turned off.

           “What made you want to be a sports writer for the Rebel Reader?” he asked me. “No offense, but I can tell sports isn’t your thing.”

           “I was actually assigned it against my will,” I admitted. “I wanted to do the fashion articles but there were already enough people covering that.”

           “Well, I’m glad you’re doing this instead. You’re easy to talk to.”

           “Really?”

           “Yeah. I rarely get to talk about my personal life outside of basketball since everyone only cares about basketball when talking to me. I like that you asked me questions about my family and the things I’m involved with off the court.”

           “I try to write well-rounded articles about the people I’m interviewing, so I like to get more than just one aspect of their lives.”

           “Do you ever get nervous when you’re interviewing somebody?”

           “Only at the beginning or when I first meet them. Surprisingly, I wasn’t nervous when I met you.”

           His eyes seemed to light up as he asked, “You weren’t?”

           “No. Most of the men athletes I’ve interviewed don’t actually smile upon meeting me. They’re usually a little distant at first because they can tell I’m gay. After a little warming up, they become more open and comfortable.”

           “Have you ever liked any of them?”

           When he asked me that, I became a little tensed. I tried to smile and think of a way out of answering that question but for some reason I couldn’t lie to him. “Yes, I actually have.” I picked my phone back up and turned on the camera. “I need to take a pic of you for the article’s header. It’s up to you how you want to do it.”

           “I basically live in here so here’s good. One second.” He picked up a basketball with one hand and a bottle of blue colored Gatorade with the other. “Is this good?”

           “Yes, it’s perfect.” I snapped a pic of him and then reviewed it to make sure it was okay for the article.

                                          Stephon Westbrook

           “So, which athletes did you like specifically?”

           “I’m not comfortable detailing that kind of info.”

           “Come on; we’re off the record, right?”

           “Yes but…”

           “Then I don’t see how it could hurt anything. Are any of my teammates one of them?”

           “No.”

           “Anybody on the football, soccer or baseball teams? Track and field?”

           “That’s for me to know and for you to speculate.” I packed my things up.

           “Okay, but are you involved with any of them now?”

           “Why?”

           He looked around before explaining, “Because I don’t wanna ask another dude’s boyfriend out on a date. That would be disrespectful and I’m a very respectful man.”

           When he first said that, I had to make sure I wasn’t hearing things. It took me a few seconds to realize he’d just asked me out. I smiled and blushed because I wasn’t expecting him to do that at all. I could usually tell when a guy is DL but Stephon had me damn near in shock. All I could do was smile and blush like a middle schooler being asked out on his first date ever. It had been forever since I’d been asked out on a date so my mind was spinning.

           “Maybe I should actually ask you,” he said when I didn’t respond. “Gabriel, will you go on a date with me tonight?”

           “Yes,” I answered quickly.

           “Cool. I’m a little old-fashioned so sorry if this is creeping you out. I know dudes our age don’t really go about it this way, especially when it comes to same-sex dating. I’m different as you can see. I actually like to ask the guy or girl out on a date if I feel a connection to them. And Gabriel, I felt something the moment you walked in through that door. I don’t know what it was but I felt it.”

           “That is so crazy.”

           “What is?”

           “I felt the exact same thing.” I laughed a little and so did he. “It’s weird.”

           “I think it’s more special than weird.” He stared into my eyes. “So, can I pick you up at eight?”

           “Eight is fine.”

           “Alright.” He pulled his iPhone from his pocket and unlocked it before handing it to me. “Put your number in there and I’ll text you to get directions to your place.”

           “Okay.” I stored my number in his phone and handed it back to him. “Wait, where are we going to go? It’s one thing to be seen with a gay journalism major when he’s interviewing you for the school magazine; it’s a whole other thing to be seen with a gay journalism major out in public on or near campus.”

           “Who said I was worried about being seen with you? Just because I like my privacy doesn’t mean I’m some paranoid downlow brotha. I wanna show you a good time. Is that alright?”

           “Yeah.”

           “Cool, then I’ll see you tonight.”

           “See you then.” I had to keep my knees from giving in as I made my way over to the door to leave. I couldn’t believe what had happened. And I had no idea that that was just the beginning of an even more interesting day.

           I hadn’t been nervous that whole day but now that I was about to go on a date with Stephon, I was shaking. I guess the thing that made me so nervous was how upfront he was. I’d never been asked out the way he’d asked me out before. Most of my relationships—if I can even call them that—started through social media and then it wouldn’t go anywhere after I had sex with the guy. With Stephon, it was universally different. He was so refreshing and I found myself getting caught up in it all as I got ready for my date with him.

           “Why are you getting all spruced up?” my roommate Brendan asked me, peeking into my room.

           “I’m uhh…going to a study session,” I lied. “Some people from one of my journalism classes are picking me up and we’re holding a session at Starbucks for the midterm.”

           “Hmm, I’ve never seen you get this dressed up for a study session.”

           “One of the guys in the group is super fine.”

           He laughed and said, “Say no more. Good luck.”

           As soon as he disappeared out of my room, Stephon texted me and told me he was on the way and needed my address for his GPS. I texted him back with my address and about ten minutes later, he texted back saying that he was parked on the side of the building waiting on me. I gave myself one last look in the mirror before heading out of the apartment and down the stairwell to the building lobby. I exited the side doors and there he was, sitting on the trunk of his white Camaro looking at me with a sexy and cute smile on his face.

            “Damn, look at you,” he said as he climbed down and approached me. “You look great.”

           “So do you,” I replied, looking him up and down. “You somehow look even brighter outside of gym clothes.”

           He laughed and opened the passenger side door for me, which was sweet but unneeded. After I climbed in, he closed the door and then hurried over to his side and climbed in. He started the car up and asked, “I don’t have to have you back by a certain time, do I? Because I can nix the movie idea if you gotta be back early.”

           “Movie? Oh no, I don’t have to be back at a certain time. I’d love to see a movie.” I actually had to write up the ‘Athlete of the Month’ article on him but I probably wasn’t going to be able to get any sleep that night after the date anyway, so I figured I’d just pull an all-nighter.

           “Cool. After dinner, we can hit up the theater.” He backed out of the parking space and pulled out onto the street and away from my building. “Mmm, you smell so good.”

           “Thank you.”

           “Let me guess, you’re the bath type?”

           “How did you know?”

           “You just have that look. I bet you soak in a bath forever after a long day, huh?”

           “I sure do. There’s nothing like a good warm bath.”

           “I wouldn’t know. I take nothing but showers. I haven’t sat in a bathtub since I was a kid.” He stopped at a red-light and looked at me. “Are you sure you don’t have a boyfriend?”

           “I am as single as single gets. Why is it so hard for you to believe that?”

           “Because you are like the prettiest dude I’ve ever seen on-campus. Hell, you’re the prettiest dude I’ve ever laid eyes on. And I’m not trying to be corny or anything like that. You’re stunning. Has anyone ever told you that?”

           “No.” I blushed so much that my cheeks felt like I’d just eaten something sweet for the first time in years. “I’ve been called cute before but never pretty or stunning. Thank you, Stephon.”

           “I could spend hours talking about how beautiful you are.” He noticed that the light had changed green. “See that, you got me all distracted.” He laughed and continued driving.

           When we arrived at a place called Kenyatta’s Soul Kitchen, he parked the car and turned it off. We were on the outskirts of town in an area I’d never been in. He climbed out of the car and before I could even open my door, he opened it for me. I had to get used to that because I knew he would keep doing it for the rest of the date. After locking the car up, we entered the small restaurant and I immediately smelled an appetizing aroma. My stomach growled because all I’d had to eat that day were a few energy bars.

           “What is this place?” I asked him as we sat down at a booth.

           “You’ve never been here?” he asked.

           “No.”

           “I come here all the time. I’ve never eaten in before but I always get me a catfish dinner to go. This place has the best soul food in the city. Makes me miss my relatives down in Macon, Georgia.”

           “You have family in the South?”

           “Yep.”

           “I’m from the South. Louisiana.”

           “So this place should remind you of home, too.”

           “Yes, soul food is all my family knows. Well that and Creole.”

           “You’re Creole?”

           “Yes, that and a lot of other heritages. My family is a big mixture.”

           “Can you speak other languages?”

           “I can speak Haitian Creole and French fluently.”

           He smiled big and said, “Wow, that’s cool. You gotta teach me some of that one day.”

           The waitress walked over and took our orders. I was amazed by how much food he ordered. For someone so skinny he sure did order enough food for three people. When our food arrived, I was taken aback by how great everything was. I swear that macaroni and cheese tasted identical to my grandma’s, and the catfish was amazing. I understood why Stephon loved the catfish so much. As we ate, we talked more about where we were from and what made us want to come to Richland University. He chose Richland because while he wanted to play basketball, he didn’t want to be at well-known basketball school or to continue playing after college. His plans were to be a high school basketball coach and math teacher.

           After eating dinner, which he paid for by the way, we headed over to the movie theater. Since it was a Tuesday there weren’t many people there. He bought two tickets to see a horror movie called Don’t Enter the Red Door. I absolutely hated seeing horror films by myself but since I had Stephon there sitting beside me, I didn’t mind it too much. He had his arm on the back of my chair so that made me feel somewhat safe. Whenever something scary happened, I buried my face in his chest. I could tell he enjoyed that because he’d chuckle and put his arm around me. By the time the movie was over, it was raining outside.

           “I’m glad I didn’t leave my windows down,” he joked as we stood under the theater awning. “You wait here, I’ll go get the car and pull around to get you.”

           “I don’t mind getting wet,” I told him. “Stephon, I know I’m a little feminine but I’m not a girl. You don’t have to be extra sweet with me. It’s adorable but it’s unnecessary.”

           “I’m like this with anybody I take out on a date, girl or guy. It’s just the type of dude I am. I can’t help it. Sorry if it rubs you the wrong way. I told you I’m old-fashioned.” He blushed and looked down at the ground for a second which was literally the cutest thing ever.

           “Okay, you can pull the car around.”

           “Cool, be right back.” He dashed out into the rain to get his car. A few seconds later, he pulled up in front of the theater and opened the door for me from the inside. I climbed in without getting a single drop of water on me. He was soaked. “See, isn’t that better?”

           “Yeah, but now you’re soaked.”

           “It’s all good.” He put the car in gear and sped away from the theater.

           I love the way he drove. His car was a stick shift so the muscles in his right arm flexed every time he shifted the gear. Every now and then he’d glance over at me as he drove. He’d smile and I’d blush and smile back. He seemed to have this effect on me that turned me into that awkward middle school kid I once was. I also couldn’t get enough of what he called his ‘old-fashioned’ ways. He was so polite and generous. He was the complete opposite of all the other guys I’d so-called dated.

           When we got back to my apartment building, he parked his car out front and then turned it off. His radio was on the quiet storm station and it was playing some old-school R&B song. He looked over at me and smiled and that was all of the motivation I needed. I took off my seatbelt, leaned in close to him and pressed my lips against his. He pulled back for a second, licked his lips and then resumed kissing me. It wasn’t a let’s get naked right now kiss but rather an I had a great time and I now want you to be my boyfriend kiss. I hadn’t been kissed that good in a long time.

           “Merde, ce qui était bon,” I said immediately after we stopped.

           He laughed and asked, “What?”

           “I’m sorry. My French comes out when I get horny. I mean…” I blushed in embarrassment. “That’s not what I meant to say.”

           “It’s okay. That made me horny, too; especially you speaking French. Horny is good. That means we’re on the same page.”

           “Yeah but I don’t have sex on the first date. At least I try not to. And you are making it very hard not to.”

           “I can respect that rule. It’s just as hard on me as it is on you, but I can respect it. You gotta say something else in French to me though because that was so sexy.”

           “Okay. Um… J'ai eu une bonne nuit et je ne peux pas attendre de sortir avec votre vieil âne façonné à nouveau.”

           “What does that mean?”

           “I had a great night and I can’t wait to go out with your old-fashioned ass again.” I giggled and he burst out in laughter.

           “You really are something else. Come here.” He pulled me in for a hug and kissed me again. After that kiss, we climbed out of his car and he walked me up to my building door while holding my hand. “I had a great night with you, too. Believe it or not, I don’t get to do this often.”

           “Why not, because of your basketball schedule?”

           “No, because not many people like to do this. These days it’s all about sex and recording the sex and posting it on social media. Usually when I take a guy or a woman out on a date, they’re too distracted by their phones to pay attention to me and hold a conversation. And at the end of the date if I don’t wanna have sex with them they take it as the ultimate insult. I guess since I’m a basketball player I’m supposed to live up to how everyone thinks I should be. But that just ain’t me. Like I said, I’m old-fashioned.”

           “I don’t think you’re old-fashioned, I think you’re special. Stephon, I know no one like you. Every other guy I’ve dated has been self-centered and everything you just described. Hell, even I spend a lot of time on social media. But after tonight I’m starting to see just how distracting it all is. I want more nights like this. Damn, I never would’ve thought my best date would be with a basketball player I had to interview.” I laughed a little but stopped when he grabbed my hand.

           “And I never would’ve thought I’d meet someone so beautiful inside and out. I really like you, Gabriel.”

           “I like you, too.”

           “Can I have one more kiss goodnight?”

           “Boy, you don’t even have to ask. These lips have Stephon Westbrook written all over them now.” We shared a laugh before kissing again.

           Long after he’d gone home and I was up in my bedroom, I thought about him and how amazing he was. I thought about how choked up he got when discussing his autistic brother and how he’d made me laugh during dinner and how he’d made me feel safe while we watched that horror film. Stephon was so unique and I guess that’s what I was sensing when I first made eyes with him before I interviewed him for the magazine. I could tell a lot of his manners and old-fashioned ways came from how he was raised. He was so right about our generation and I was so glad that he decided to be an individual instead of following the crowd like so many others did. And I definitely couldn’t wait for our next date. Hopefully we wouldn’t have to keep it off the record for long.

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

           After my boyfriend was gunned down outside a nightclub, I slowly turned into someone I recognized less and less every time I looked in the mirror. My relationship with Devon was the only serious relationship I’d had. Like me, he was out and was accepted by his family. We were back and forth in high school but we got serious after we graduated. One Sunday morning in his apartment, he asked me to marry him and I told him yes. The following weekend, he went out to the club with his friends and was shot in the head during a fight he wasn’t even involved in. Two years later, I still wasn’t over it. I still grieved. And my grief was destroying me little by little.

           How do you talk to someone and then just a little over an hour later they’re gone? He called me and told me he’d get his friends to drop him off at my place after they left the club. My last words to him were, “Don’t get pissy drunk at the club.” He laughed and told me he wouldn’t and then hung up. That truly was it. That was the last time I talked to him. I didn’t even get to tell him I loved him one last time. I always thought we’d be together forever so I never even let any other possibility enter my mind. Instead of it going the way I always thought it would, it went horribly wrong.

           “When is your next appointment, Kal?” my best friend and coworker Denise asked me.

           “In about two hours,” I told her. “Why?”

           “You wanna grab an early lunch?”

           “I’m not really hungry.”

           “Bitch, please. You know you want some jerk chicken from Fire Jerk down on Garfield Boulevard.”

           Just hearing her mention that jerk chicken made my stomach growl. So I locked up my station and told her, “Let’s go get some then.”

           “My car or yours?”

           “Yours. I don’t feel like going by the gas station until after I get off.”

           “I hear that. Come on.”

           We left Rochelle’s Hair Salon in Denise’s Toyota Camry and headed to one of the best Jamaican spots in Chicago. As usual, we got our food and decided to sit out in her car and eat while listening to music. It was during moments like that where I’d finally stop thinking about Devon. Of course, I’d feel guilty as fuck later for not thinking about him, but those brief moments were the only peace I’d get out of any given day. And then, something would happen to make me remember.

                                          Me (Kaldrick Paine)

           “I’m gonna go get me a bag of gummy bears to take back to work,” I told Denise as I opened the passenger side door to get out.

           “Wait,” she said, stopping me. “I can drive you around after I’m done eating.”

           “Girl, finish your food. It’s just around the corner.”

           “Alright but don’t take long. You know shit can get crazy in a matter of seconds around here.”

           “Yeah, yeah.” I laughed as I closed the door and walked around the corner to a nearby convenience store.

           I made my way into the store and after grabbing a small bag of gummy bears to eat as a snack in between clients at the salon, headed to the front of the store to pay for them. While waiting in line, I happened to look over and saw some bags of Ruffles cheddar and sour cream chips. Those were Devon’s favorite chips. And just like that, I couldn’t do anything but think about him. I was thinking about him so much that I didn’t realize I was next in line to pay the cashier.

           “I’m sorry,” I told him as tears began to fill my eyes. I pulled out my wallet to get the money out and before I could pay, something strange happened.

           “Yo, I got it,” said this raspy but calming voice. “Just ring his stuff up with mine, bruh.”

           I turned to see this guy who looked very familiar with tattoos all over his arms and neck standing there. I almost told him I could buy my own damn gummy bears but I got caught up trying to remember where I knew him from. He paid for my stuff along with his and then flashed me a smile before walking out of the store. I thought about it for a quick second and then hurried outside and called out, “Bryan. Bryan Wilson?”

                                    Bryan “B-Murda” Wilson

           He stopped by his car, turned around and said, “Yeah, shorty. What’s good?”

           “You went to Paul Robeson High, right?”

           “Yeah.”

           “Do you remember me? Kaldrick Paine. We had…”

           “Mr. Jackson’s algebra class together. Yo, I remember you, shorty.” He laughed and looked around for a quick second before stepping over to me. “Damn, I thought I remembered you from somewhere when I was in the store. What you been up to?”

           “I went to cosmetology school after graduating and I do hair.”

           “Never left the southside, huh?”

           “You know it. What about you?”

           “Oh, I’ve been around.” He looked around again and then asked me, “You still with ol’ boy? Uh…what was his name?”

           “Devon Mowry.”

           “Yeah, dude with the dimples.” He laughed again before saying, “You and him were like a married couple back then.”

           I stopped smiling as I told him, “We’re not together anymore. He um…he got shot about two years ago.”

           The look in his eyes changed as he asked, “Are you serious?”

           “Yeah. It happened outside a club.”

           “Kaldrick, I’m sorry, man. Damn. Why would anybody wanna shoot a dude like Devon? He was cool with everybody.”

           “There was this fight and he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

           “Did they get who did it?”

           “No but they’re probably dead anyway knowing how it goes around here. All I know is the two dudes who were fighting were named Dirtty and Maverick. Either them two or somebody from their groups started shooting.”

           “You said Dirtty? His name got two t’s?”

           “Yeah.”

           “Hmm.”

           I quickly remembered Denise was waiting on me, so I backed away and told him, “I gotta get back to work. My lunch break is over.”

           “A’ight, shorty. It was good seein’ you, for real.”

           “You, too. Take care, man.” I turned and headed back around the corner to where Denise’s car was parked. After climbing back in, I told her, “Sorry girl, I just ran into somebody from my high school.”

           “Ooh, was he fine?”

           “Ugh, I don’t know. I never thought of him like that, not even back in the day. Besides, he’s straight and you know I don’t look at men who I know are straight like that. Anyway, let’s get back to the salon before Rochelle start trippin’ over us taking a long break.”

           As she drove us back to the shop, I thought about Bryan. Back in high school, everybody called him B-Murda but I always called him Bryan. Unlike some of the hateful ass boys at school, Bryan was actually cool with everybody, including openly gay students like me and Devon. He hung out with the ain’t shit boys but he was always slightly different than them. He dropped out in tenth grade and I remember seeing him up until Christmas of that year. After that, he disappeared. That day in the convenience store was my first time seeing him in over seven years. I had no idea that my little run-in with him that day would be the start of it all.

           After work, I did my usual routine. I paid whatever bills were due or ran an errand or picked up some groceries and went home. I rarely went out with friends or did anything fun. I just stayed home and watched TV or listened to music. I cooked and I cleaned to keep busy most of the time, but I stayed home nonetheless. What was the point of going out? Find someone to replace Devon with? Become yet another stranger to myself? It was better to just work and sleep and eat. At least I was living.

           “What did you cook?” Denise asked me over the phone.

           “Just a cheeseburger and some tater tots,” I told her. “Something quick and simple.”

           “True. Shit, you need to teach me how to cook. It’s one of the reasons why I can’t keep a damn man.”

           I laughed and said, “I’m sure some dude can enjoy burnt bologna sandwiches as long as the pussy is good.”

           “I wish. Nope, these niggas want you to have a five-star pussy and cook them a five-star meal. And then after you give them some five-star pussy and cook them that five-star meal, they tell you they have a whole girlfriend already. Trifling asses.”

           “See, now you’re talking about the ain’t shit niggas. They’re different than…” I was interrupted by somebody else calling my phone. “Denise, hold up. I got another call.” I switched over to the other line and asked, “Hello?”

           “Kaldrick!” my friend Marco shouted on the other end. “Oh my God, you need to get down here!”

           I quickly sat up and asked, “Marco, what is it?”

           “I’m at the Burger King on South Halsted Street. Somebody just did a drive-by and I’m not walking from here to the train. I need a ride.”

           “Okay, I’ll be right there. Just hold on.” I switched back over to Denise and told her, “That’s Marco. Some fools just did a drive-by over on Halsted Street and he’s scared to leave the Burger King. I gotta go get him.”

           “Damn. I’ll drive out that way, too.”

           “See you there then.” I ended the call and put on my shoes and grabbed my keys and wallet.

           By the time both me and Denise arrived there, cops were everywhere. We parked at the Burger King and climbed out. As we were going into the Burger King, I saw three white plastic coverings on the ground which meant three people were dead. Marco was looking out of one of the restaurant windows drinking a cup of soda.

           “Did you see what happened?” I asked him.

           “No,” he answered. “I just heard a bunch of gunshots and ran in up in here so I wouldn’t get hit. They haven’t shot anybody over on this street since April so I thought it was safe to walk through here tonight. Damn, nowhere is fucking safe!”

           “Let’s just get outta here,” Denise said.

           We walked out and as we were heading to our cars, I heard some boy say, “They shot Dirtty and his homies up, man. Killed all three of them niggas, man.”

           I swear when I heard that, it was like someone knocked all of the breath out of me. I’d known since the night Devon was shot that it was because of some dude named Dirtty and another dude he was fighting named Maverick. It wasn’t until I was almost to Marco’s house that I remembered telling Bryan earlier that day who shot Devon. There was no doubt in my mind that it was Bryan and his boys who killed Dirtty and his boys. I honestly didn’t know how to feel about it.

           “Thanks for the ride, Kal,” Marco told me once we got to his house. “You wanna come in?”

           “Nah, I gotta get back home,” I told him. “Tell your mama and sister I said hey.”

           “Okay. See you later, baby boy.”

           “Bye.” I waited until he was inside his house before I drove away.

           I tried not to think the worst of Bryan as I headed back home but it was hard not to. If there was one thing I hated more than goons it was goons who shot people all the time. I lost Devon to that bullshit. But on the other hand, one of the guys responsible for Devon’s death was now dead. So, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat relieved that his killer was no longer free to kill others. No one talked to the cops because the cops didn’t give a shit, so it wasn’t like Devon’s killers would ever be sent to prison. Maybe their deaths was the only justice I could get. Either way, I just wanted to get into my apartment and lock the door.

           “Kal,” said that voice, scaring the shit out of me.

           I turned to see Bryan approaching me with a duffle bag. Tears began to form in my eyes as I asked him, “How did you know where I live? Did you follow me?”

           “Nah, I found out another way. Look, I got somethin’ for you.” He unzipped the duffle bag and showed me what was inside.

           After seeing a few rolls of money and jewelry, I stepped back and told him, “No, thank you.”

           “It’s what’s owed to you, shorty.”

           “I don’t want it.”

           “Listen, I know you probably already heard about what happened tonight and them niggas had it comin’. Devon was a good dude. He ain’t deserve that shit. So yeah, I shot Dirtty and his boys. And I snatched they chains and shit and all the money they had in they pockets.”

           “Why are you telling me this?”

           “Because…” He dropped the duffle bag at my feet before backing away and telling me, “Just take the jewelry to a pawn shop on the northside or somethin’. You can keep all the money from it.”

           “Bryan…”

           “I gotta go, shorty. This shit ain’t over with. Maverick and his niggas gotta go, too.”

           “No, don’t. No more killing, please.” The tears finally managed to fall from my eyes. “Bryan, I’m not sure if I can deal with this emotionally.”

           “I’m doin’ this to help. Them niggas don’t have a code. That’s why they killed Devon and didn’t even care. Devon wasn’t with no gangs or no squads. He ain’t deserve that shit. You ain’t deserve that. You think I ain’t notice that look in your eye earlier today in that store? Them niggas took away somethin’ special to you, somethin’ that made you who you were. I can’t let that go.”

           “Why? You haven’t seen me in years. You probably never thought about me before today. Why do you care, Bryan?!”

           Without saying another word, he put his arm around me and kissed my lips with so much passion that it made my knees weak. I honestly don’t know what made me kiss him back but I did. Since my apartment door was on the back end of the hall, I wasn’t worried that anyone would catch us. Still, I stopped kissing him and backed away.

           “I have thought about you,” he told me. “I knew who you were the moment I saw you earlier today in that store. You think I could forget about them pretty eyes?”

           “I don’t understand,” I said while looking into his eyes. “You’ve never even looked at me in that way. Why now?”

           “I always liked you. But you were with Devon and I respected that. He was good for you. Shit, he was better for you than I could ever be. I never stopped thinkin’ about you though. When I was locked up…”

           “You were in prison?”

           “I did four years and six months for armed robbery. I thought about you a lot, Kal. I actually thought you’d left Chicago because before today, I’ve never seen you around.”

           “I can’t leave. This is where Devon called home and…” I started crying again and he hugged me.

           “Shorty, I promise you I won’t let anything happen to you. You got my word.” He stopped hugging me and said, “Let me see your phone.”

           “Why?”

           “Just unlock it and let me see it.” I unlocked my phone and gave it to him. He did something with it and then handed it back to me and told me, “I stored my private number on it. Call me later tonight after midnight. I gotta go.”

           “Wait, Bryan.”

           “What?”

           I hugged him and told him, “Please, be careful.” He kissed me again before leaving.

           Wasting no time, I picked the duffle bag up and hurried into my apartment. I locked the door and after taking a few deep breaths, I turned the duffle bag upside down and emptied everything out onto my sofa. The three rolls of money totaled up to $9,000 dollars. There were five gold chains, three gold rings and three gold diamond Rolex watches. At first, I didn’t know what to think. Then, out of nowhere, I just started laughing. Even as tears rolled down my face, I laughed. I don’t know if I was losing my mind or what, but that laugh felt so good. After the laugh came the sudden realization that for the first time since I lost Devon, I’d kissed someone. That kiss was only just the beginning.

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

© D.A. Morrison 2017

           I knew Dwayne wanted to fuck me the moment he laid eyes on me back in August on the first day of classes. I could just see it in the way he looked at me and although I was flattered, I stayed the hell away from DL athletes like him. They were nothing but a headache. I learned that by sophomore year and since it was my junior year, I vowed to keep DL athlete dick away from my ass. But it seemed like fate was being a bitch towards me because not only did I have a class with Dwayne, he and I got paired up for our class’s first project and he wanted to pair up every time we had an assignment or needed to study for a test. By the time midterms rolled around, we basically spent most of our time in my apartment off-campus. I still hadn’t let him get this ass though.

           “Come on, Deon,” he said to me while I made us sandwiches and soup in my kitchen. “We been talkin’ for what…like two and a half months now? I’m already practically your man so…”

           “We are friends,” I interrupted him as I sat a plate and bowl in front of him. “You are not my man.”

           “So I guess when the basketball season starts up, I don’t have to give you free tickets then?”

           “See, I didn’t say that.”

           He laughed and asked, “So what’s the problem then? And don’t tell me you don’t do DL niggas because it’s bullshit.”

           “It’s not bullshit, Dwayne. Guys like you only act like you want a relationship and then after you wear out the ass you’re gone and you block my number.”

           “Damn, I’m hurt by what you just said. You think I’d block your number, shorty?”

           “I know you would. And then you’re from Philly and I know how you Philly niggas are.”

           “Whoa. See, you ain’t had to go there. Why you gotta diss my city like that? You don’t hear me talkin’ shit about raggedy ass Newark.”

           “Newark is a million times better than Philly. At least the niggas in Newark have cars. I’ve been to Philly and most of y’all walk every damn where.”

           “Not true. Every nigga I knew had a car in my hood. And niggas in Newark only have cars because they carjack like ten people a day each.”

           “You are so full of shit.”

           “So are you.”

           We both started laughing. That’s how it always was between us; we’d have a lighthearted argument; we’d talk shit about each other’s hometowns and then we’d laugh it off. I really did consider our relationship a plutonic one, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him. Dwayne Robinson was one of the sexiest boys on the Calhoun U basketball team. He had the nicest attitude and got along with everybody. He was my type, especially since he was dark-skinned. I always had a weakness for fine dark-skinned brothas. But I couldn’t get over the fact that he was DL. Him being DL meant I couldn’t tell anyone, not even my closest friends, that I was with him. So I decided not to be with him. However, it was becoming more difficult to reject him. Walking in on him while he was peeing and seeing his big chocolate dick one day wasn’t making my decision any easier.

                                        Me (Deon Combs)

           “That ham and turkey sandwich hit the spot,” he said while rubbing his stomach. “You make the best sandwiches, boo. And that soup warmed me up. Now if we could take this to your bedroom…”

           “Don’t you have practice or something?” I asked while taking our dishes over to the sink.

           “Nah, it’s Tuesday. Every day practice doesn’t start for another week.”

           “I’m sure you have something to do.”

           “Damn, you want me gone, huh?”

           “I need to clean up around here.”

           “Clean up? This place is like a million times cleaner than my dorm.”

           “I am so glad I’ve never been in your dorm then. It probably smells like feet, ass, unwashed dick and stale pussy up in there.”

           He stood up from the table and laughed sarcastically before saying, “Ha-ha, you’re so funny.” He stepped over to me at the sink and gave me a hug. “Thanks for feedin’ me, boo. I was hungry.”

           “Yeah, yeah.” I tried to pull away from his hug but he held on.

           “Mmm, why you always smell so good?” He finally pulled back but kept his hands on my hips.

           “Why do you keep trying this, Dwayne? I keep telling you that all I want to be is friends.”

           “You keep saying that because you like to be chased.”

           “That’s what you think.”

           “Nah, that’s what I know. I know you still be thinkin’ about that day you walked in on me pissin’. You saw this dick and it’s been on your mind ever since.”

                                      Dwayne Robinson

           “That little Vienna sausage ain’t been on my mind.” I laughed and he smirked.

           “I swear you are stubborn as fuck. But damn, I think that’s what I like about you the most. Your cute ass can act like you don’t want a nigga all you want, but I know the truth. I see it in those pretty brown eyes.” He bent forward and kissed me on my lips, the first time I let him do that. He seemed just as surprised as I was. His lips formed the biggest smile. “Text or call me later. I’m never too busy for you, Deon.”

           I blushed and replied with, “Alright, talk to you later, baby.”

           “Baby?” His smile grew even bigger, showing those pearly white teeth. He was so damn cute. “Did you just call me baby?”

           “It was an accident. I meant to say…bastard.”

           “Yeah, sure you did.” He laughed to himself as he went over to the door and I followed. He gave me one last look before leaving.

           I closed the door and tried to block that kiss from my mind but it was no use. He had me with that damn kiss. That combined with the image of seeing his big dick that day in my bathroom was enough to make me give my vow a second thought. Before making any promises to myself, I began cleaning up to finally take my mind off of him.

           By the time I’d returned from Walgreens, I’d already decided to have sex with him. I hadn’t had any dick in months and was tired of fingering myself while jacking off every now and then. I needed some dick and although I’d sworn off DL athletes, I figured I might as well get some good dick before Dwayne grew bored with me pushing him away all the time. I’d already spent money on some Fleet, Astroglide and candles so there was no turning back. All there was left to do was call him and then get ready.

           “Wassup shorty,” he answered after one ring. “I was startin’ to think you wouldn’t call.”

           “Sorry,” I told him. “I had some stuff to take care of. So, are you busy right now?”

           “What did I tell you earlier? I’m never too busy for you.”

           “Well, can you come over so we can study for the midterm? I still have no clue what Professor Dolan is gonna put on the test.”

           “Alright. I just got in from the gym, let me take a quick shower and I’ll be there.”

           “Okay.”

           The moment I got off the phone with him, I hurried into my bathroom and used the bottle of Fleet. Since his dick was so big, I made sure to clean myself out as much as I could in case he decided to go deep. I then took a shower and while in there, I told myself that if he played me like other DL dudes from school had that it would be okay and one day I’d find the right guy. By the time I was lighting the candles in my bedroom, he was knocking on the door.

           “I brought my textbook and my laptop this time,” he said with a smile when I opened the door. He noticed how dimly lit the apartment was and asked, “We’re not gonna study in your kitchen this time?”

           “No,” I answered. “Let’s go to my room.” I grabbed his hand and led him into my bedroom.

           “Candles? Oh, you’re tryin’ to save money on your electricity bill. I won’t plug in my laptop then. We can just…” I put my finger up to his lips to shush him.

           “Dwayne, I didn’t really call you over here so we could study for the midterm. Look, I know you’ve been wanting to have sex with me and I’m gonna be honest with you; I wanna have sex with you just as bad. But you have to understand why I’ve been treating you the way I’ve been this whole time. I am sick and tired of having casual sex and then I don’t hear from the guy anymore. I don’t need money because I have my own job and I’m putting myself through school with the money I make and loans. And I don’t need casual dick. I need constant dick.” I laughed a little and he smiled. “Dwayne, I really like you and I feel like we could be more than just friends and definitely more than just sex buddies. So, if sex is all you want then please just be honest with me because you’ll get some ass either way.”

           He just stood there and looked into my eyes for the longest before taking my hand in his and assuring me, “Deon Combs, I do not just want to have sex with you. You have my word. And I may be a Philly nigga but my word is my word.” He laughed and leaned in to kiss me. “And we don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to tonight. I’ll spend the night with you clothes on or off.”

           “Oh no, we’re gonna have sex. I’ve already invested in it.”

           “Invested?”

           I grabbed him by his Jordan sweatshirt and stood on the tips of my toes to kiss his big sexy lips. He put his arms around my waist to hold me up and kissed me back. We began French kissing and as we made our way over to my bed, he took off his backpack and placed it on my computer desk. We climbed onto my bed while still kissing, only taking a quick break when I removed his fitted cap from his head and tossed it to the floor. I was enjoying every single second of kissing him. The way he smelled—a perfect mixture of men’s body wash and cocoa butter—turned me on. His lips were so juicy and tasted like spearmint. His facial hair tickled my clean-shaven face. I could kiss that man all night long if I had to.

           The look of excitement and accomplishment on his face somehow made me feel sexier than I was already feeling. All those days and nights he hung out with me making his moves on me and I shut him down every time; it felt good finally giving in and seeing how proud he was of himself to obtain me. I didn’t care if it was just for one night, I wanted him so bad. I wanted him inside of me. And I didn’t just want his dick, I wanted his everything.

           “You remind me of Qwanell Andrews,” he said to me while kissing on my neck.

           “Who is that?” I asked.

           “The boy I lost my virginity to when I was sixteen. It was his first time, too. He had soft skin like yours. And he always smelled like he’d just taken a fresh hot bath, just like you always do. I was young as fuck but I knew I loved him.”

           “What happened to him?”

           “His family moved away and I never saw him again. I’ve been tryin’ to have that kind of connection with someone again but it just never happened. It damn sure wasn’t gonna happen with a girl. Deon, I’m on the downlow for a reason and it’s not just so I can fuck around with random dudes or because of basketball. It’s because…I don’t know how to be vulnerable. With you, I just feel like I can be myself and you won’t judge me.” He kissed me. “And you’re nice to me.” He kissed me again. “And you trust me the way that I trust you. All I wanna do is be your boyfriend, baby. Can I?”

           I answered him by pressing my lips to his again while sliding my hand up his sweatshirt to feel on his abs and chest. He gently spread my legs and got in between them, and that’s when I felt how hard his dick was as he thrust into me. We kissed like two longtime lovers while dry humping like sex-deprived maniacs. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and I slid my hands into the back of his sweatpants and boxer briefs and felt on his toned ass. I must’ve really turned him on by doing that because he quickly pulled back and snatched his sweatshirt off.

           “Let’s get naked,” he said to me with a sparkle in his eye.

           We got off the bed and quickly undressed, leaving nothing on but our smiles. He put his forehead to mine and just looked into my eyes while holding me and it felt like I was just going to melt in his arms. No man had ever made me feel that way before. It was in that moment that I realized we weren’t about to have sex. We were about to make love.

           He turned me to face the mirror that was attached to my closet door and said, “Look at that. Look at us. We looked good naked together, don’t we?”

           “We sure do,” I agreed before turning back to face him.

           Both of our dicks were at full attention and pressed against one another. I kissed his chest and licked his nipples before kissing my way downward. I got on my knees and kissed his thick chocolate dick a few times before starting to suck on it. He tilted his head back and released a longwinded exhale as I took him all the way into my throat. I was sucking him very slowly so that I could breathe easily through my nose. This allowed me to suck him without gagging once.

           “Ooh, Deon,” he said with a shiver in his voice.

           The way he said my name in that moment turned me on so much that I got goosebumps all over my body for the first time that night. I sucked his dick with even more passion and softly massage his balls. I’d clearly let him telling me he wanted to be my boyfriend go to my head, and I was doing everything I could to cater to him. I remembered one of my friends telling me about how he once did things he’d never done with a boyfriend to keep him from cheating. I was willing to do anything that night, and I planned on it.

           “Get on the bed, baby,” I told him.

           He sat down on the bed and then scooted back and lied down. I climbed on over him and began sucking his dick again. I tapped his thigh to signal to him to spread his legs a little and he did. I took advantage and began gently massaging the area between his balls and ass while I continued to suck him. His moans sounded so damn sexy that they encouraged me to pleasure him more. I deep throated his dick a few more times before moving my mouth to his balls and pleasuring them with my lips and tongue. I moved from there to the area between his balls and ass, and realizing what I wanted to do, he spread his legs more and let me access his asshole. I’d had my asshole licked many times but I’d never done it before because I assumed all tops didn’t know how to clean their asses when bathing. But Dwayne had cleaned thoroughly.

           “You like that, baby?” I asked him in between licks on his pulsating asshole.

           “Ye-ye-yes,” he stuttered.

           I could tell by his heavy breathing and his stuttering that he’d never been rimmed before. His toes were curled up tight and his moans were getting louder and louder. When I gripped his dick and positioned it upright while my tongue was deep in his asshole, a big load of precum rolled out onto the back of my hand. I wiped it on his balls and asshole and then licked it up, which really drove him wild. He let me lick on his ass a little longer and then he sat up and kissed my lips.

           “No wonder why y’all bottoms love that so much,” he said with a laugh. “Damn. You got my dick so hard with that.” He grabbed his dick. “Come here, baby.”

           He made me turn over and lie down on my stomach. He then spread my ass cheeks and licked all the way from the top of my ass crack down to my asshole and then down towards the area between my balls and ass. He repeated that like fifteen times before kissing, licking and slurping on my asshole. My whole body relaxed and I arched my back to give him more access. I was now feeling the full effect of those amazing lips of his every time they slurped on my asshole. And in between the slurps, he’d stick his tongue inside as far as it would go. It was like he was delicately entering my inner most sensitive zone. For the second time that night, goosebumps formed all over my body.

           I was already moaning nonstop and shaking, and then he took it up a notch. He carefully pulled my dick between my legs and sucked on it from the back. He’d suck my dick for a few seconds and then shove his tongue back into my ass. My shaking became more intense and when he slowly began pushing his middle finger into my asshole while sucking my dick from the back, I lost control. I wanted to warn him that I was going to cum but I couldn’t get the words out. I just started shaking more and more and the intensity of that orgasm had me speechless. It was like the very first orgasm you have while experimenting with yourself at a young age; unexpected and powerful.

           “Mmm,” he said while swallowing every drop of cum that exited my dick. “Damn, I didn’t mean to make you cum, boo.”

           I turned over on my back and rubbed my now super sensitive asshole. He got in between my legs again and held me while kissing me. There was something about the way he held me that told me he was for real, but my mind wouldn’t let me get my hopes up. I had to be careful not to get too attached. No matter how mind-blowing the sex was, I couldn’t let my guard down. So once my body regained its strength after that orgasm, I made him roll over and I climbed on top of him. I reached over to my nightstand and picked up the bottle of Astroglide and opened it. I poured some onto my hand and rubbed it on and inside my asshole. I poured some more out onto my hand and rubbed it on his big dick. He then took the bottle from me and sat it back onto the nightstand.

           I teased him for the longest by pressing the head of his dick up against my tight hole but not letting it enter me. Each time I teased him, he’d take in a deep breath and then would let it out when I didn’t let him enter me. So when I finally did start to let him enter me, it caught him by surprise and it made him that much more excited. That was another trick one of my friends had told me about. I was tighter than I thought so I had to keep lifting off his dick and sitting back on it at slightly different angles until it felt right. When I got it right, the pain was more bearable and my dick began to get hard again.

           “Ah, you’re so tight, boo,” he said to me while holding onto my body. “Take your time with it, I don’t wanna hurt you.”

           “Okay, baby,” I replied. I gently bent down and kissed his sexy lips a few times before beginning a slow and steady rhythm on him.

           He played with my nipples with his hands but kept the rest of his body completely still as I rode him. It wasn’t until I began picking up the pace that he began to match the way I was stroking his big dick up and down by thrusting his dick upward deeper into my ass. That’s when my dick grew back to its fully erect state. Feeling him open me up was turning me on even more. I still retained most of my tightness so instead of his dick being able to push into me easier, it was more like a snug fit. Judging by the look on his face, I’d say that snug fit felt amazing on his dick.

           “You love having my dick up in you?” he asked me.

           “Yes, baby,” I answered. “It feels so good.” He went really deep inside of me and I collapsed on top of him and clenched on to him.

           “Yeah, hold on to me, boo. Keep your arms wrapped around me like that.”

           He sat up and then turned us over so that I could be on my back. He gently lied me down, keeping his dick deep inside of me. Once we were comfortable, I wrapped my legs around his waist and kept my arms around him. I massaged his mid and lower back as he began to push his dick further and further into me. Our bodies were pressed together so my hard dick was being rubbed in between his abs and mine each time he thrusted into me. That’s when he kissed me again with so much passion that it made me get goosebumps for the third time that night. He picked up on how he was making me feel; and in return, he began to push into me harder and faster.

           “Tell me when you’re close, okay?” he asked.

           I nodded in agreement because I couldn’t even speak at that point. The pleasure of his dick pressing against my prostate each time he pulled back and then pushed in combined with the pleasure my own dick was feeling by being rubbed in between our abs had me on the verge of a second orgasm and it was definitely a stronger sensation than the first. I couldn’t say anything so I squeezed on his ass cheeks and when that didn’t catch his attention, I ran my index finger down his ass crack to his asshole and softly rubbed it. That seemed to do the trick because he pushed deep into me and held it and we both had the most incredible simultaneous set of orgasms.

           “Ah!” he hollered out while clenching onto me tightly. “Deon!”

           “Dwayne,” I finally managed to say just as we both started breaking out into convulsions.

           My warm cum rolled out in between our bodies and got them all sticky. His warm load pumped deep inside of me and it felt unreal. Neither of us could even try to pull away during that moment. It was like our bodies became one and didn’t want to separate. I managed to place my hands on the back of his head and he moved his lips on top of mine and we shared another passionate kiss. I’d never had that kind of experience with anyone so naturally I became attached. You can’t let a man release his seed into you without becoming attached.

           “You okay?” I asked him when I noticed he was still trying to catch his breath.

           “Yeah,” he said in between breaths. “I never came like that before.”

           “Me either, baby. How long has it been since you last had sex or jacked off?”

           “Since before I met you.”

           “What?! No wonder why you’re about to pass out right now.” I laughed. “How did you not get blue balls?”

           He laughed and told me, “I was tryin’ to hold out for you, baby. It helped me stay dedicated to the gym though.”

           We shared another laugh and then kissed some more before he finally made an attempt to pull out of me. My hole was so sore and wet but I still felt good. After kissing for a little while longer, we got up and took a long hot bath together. When we finished, we dried off and went back into my room. When he picked up his socks and put them on, I got scared. I just knew he was gonna fuck me and then leave.

           “What are you doing?” I asked. “I thought you were gonna spend the night? See, I knew it. I knew this was too good to be true. Damn, and I was gonna…”

           “Boo, calm down,” he said with a smile. “I’m just puttin’ my socks on because my feet are cold. Your man ain’t goin’ nowhere.” He put his arm around me and kissed me. “After what you just put on me, I’m stayin’ here for the night because it’s not safe for me to drive. I’m also a little hungry.” He gave me his infamous sad puppy dog eyes.

           “You want me to fix you a sandwich?”

           “If it’s no trouble.”

           “You’re lucky I’m hungry, too.” I put my socks, shorts and crop top back on and he put on his boxer briefs and sweatpants and we left my room. I made him a turkey and ham sandwich and a turkey sandwich for myself. I was about to sit down in the chair beside his at the table but he pulled me down onto his lap.

           “Can you feed me mine, boo? You took all my strength with that sex.”

           “You really are trying to get me to baby you tonight, aren’t you?” I laughed and picked his sandwich up and put it up to his mouth and he took a bite.

           “Thank you,” he said with a mouthful. “Mmm, tastes almost as good as your booty.”

           “Ugh, you’re so nasty.”

           “I’m nasty? You’re the one who had his tongue up in my ass. I ain’t never had that before. You a freak.”

           “Only for you, baby. Only for you.” I put my arm around him and kissed those big and sexy lips once more.

           Dwayne turned out to be the real deal. He spent all of his free time with me and when he couldn’t he made sure to call or text. I’d never had a real boyfriend before so I had to get used to it. I looked forward to being in bleachers during his basketball games and spending more nights cuddled up with him. That one night and the decision I made changed everything for me, and I hoped it would be something I’d never have to regret.

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

           Back in 2011, I was a senior in high school and had moved in with my older sister Deanna because our mama, our stepdad, and our little half-sister Tiara had moved out of state for our stepdad’s new job. I didn’t want to move during my senior year so I moved in with Deanna and her boyfriend, Kenneth. I was always close with my big sister but our relationship became a little strained when she got with Kenneth. He had a problem with me being gay but always played like he was cool with it whenever Deanna was around. Whenever she wasn’t around; however, he got on my damn nerves. One cold Tuesday in January that year, I was stuck at home because it was a teacher’s workday. It would have been great had Kenneth not been at home with the flu.

           “I already gave him his medicine, Deanna,” I told my sister over the phone. “Your raggedy ass man is doing okay.”

           “He told me you’ve been being mean to him,” she said on the other end. “Can you at least be nice to him while he has the flu?”

           “Had his dumbass gotten a flu shot like we did…”

           “Darnell!”

           “What else do you want me to do?”

           “I bought some Vicks VapoRub for him. Rub some on his chest after you heat up the chicken noodle soup I made for him.”

           “Alright.”

           “And make sure he’s wearing his socks so his feet won’t get cold.”

           “Okay.”

           “And don’t forget to refill his cups with apple juice and water because he’s gotta drink lots of fluids.”

           “Damn, sis. You want me to stick a thermometer up his ass, too?”

           “Darnell, I know he’s a big baby when he gets sick but it’s not like you’re doing anything else. You don’t have school today and I know you’re not going anywhere since it’s only fifteen degrees outside. You only have to put up with him until I get off tonight at nine.”

           “Yeah, I know.” I got a text message and quickly told her, “I gotta go, Deanna. I’ll call you if I need your help.”

           “Alright. See you when I get home.”

           “Bye.” I ended the call and checked the text message I’d just gotten.

           It was a message from Antwan Stringer, a boy on the football team that I’d been messing around with for a few weeks. We hadn’t gone all the way because I was still a virgin but he did rim and finger me and I sucked him every now and then. He texted me asking if he could come over and I told him he couldn’t because my sister’s boyfriend was home. He then asked me to send him a pic of my asshole so he could jackoff. Teasing him, I sent a pic of me lifting my shirt instead.

                                                Me (Darnell)

           “Darnell,” Kenneth called out while coughing. “I need more water.”

           I ignored him and continued texting Antwan. When I heard a loud thump coming from my sister’s bedroom, I quickly left my room and headed across the hall into her room. When I saw Kenneth holding onto the bed to stay up, I asked, “What the hell are you doing?”

           “I’m trying to get some water,” he replied angrily. “I told your gay ass I needed water!”

                                                Kenneth

           When my roommate Kelly asked me if it was okay if her brother came to stay with us for a while, I was a little hesitant to say yes. I’d been best friends with Kelly for nearly seven years but I didn’t know her brother, Antonio. She kept saying he had nowhere else to go after his girlfriend put him out and she didn’t want him falling back in with a bad crowd down in Baltimore, so I caved in and said it was okay. I felt like kicking myself for saying yes because he turned out to be fine as hell and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do with him since he was straight. Him being straight didn’t stop me from looking at his fine ass though. Still, him living with us did come with a few downsides.

           “CJ, he’s not gonna say anything,” I said over the phone to a paranoid DL guy I’d been trying to get some dick from for a week. “He’s just my roommate’s brother.”

           “Nah, I’m not cool with that, Trent,” he said back to me. “You told me your roommate was out of town. If it was just gonna be me and you in the apartment…”

           “What if I get him to go for a drive or something?”

           “He’ll do that?”

           “He might if I ask.”

           He sighed and said, “I don’t know.”

           “Baby, I already cleaned everything because you said you were gonna come through. I know you want some ass.”

           “I do but I don’t want some other nigga listenin’ and shit. I wish you would’ve told me before I took a shower and got ready to come over there.”

           “If I can get him to leave for a while, will you still come through?” He was quiet for a while so I added, “All I got on is a shirt and a pair of briefs. My ass looks nice as fuck in them, too.”

           “I’ll come through and let you sit that fat ass on my face if you can get that nigga to bounce for an hour or two.”

           “Alright, bet.” I ended the call and gave myself a quick look in the mirror before leaving my bathroom to go tell Antonio I needed the place to myself.

                                                  Me (Trent)

           Senior year at Braxton-Jacobs High was definitely a game-changing year for me. I’d gone from being somewhat of a nerd with a handful of friends to being cool with almost all of my peers. I say almost all because although I’d completely changed my image, there was one girl who still treated me like shit. Her name was Danielle Murphy and we used to be cool until seventh grade. For whatever reason, she became a major bitch to me and made it her mission to always fuck up my day. She once talked her friends into playing a prank on me where they somehow got the combination to my locker, stole my books, and tossed them in trash bins all around the school. Needless to say, I desperately wanted to get even.

           “Noah, how do you think you did on Mrs. Howell’s test?” my friend Caiden asked me as we sat in the senior lounge during our free period.

           “I know I got an A,” I answered confidently. “I mean, every question on the test came straight out of things that happened in chapters ten, eleven, and twelve from the book.”

           “Yeah, but I’m sure she put in a few trick questions.”

           “Even if she did, I know I still got an A.” The bell rang for seventh period and I asked him, “Are you staying after school today for the cyberteam meeting?”

                                              Me (Noah Ross)

           “Not today but I’ll definitely be at Thursday’s meeting when we get to hack computer systems again.”

           I rolled my eyes and said, “Of course you wouldn’t miss that. I’ll see you later, Caiden.”

           “Later, Noah.”

           We headed out of the senior lounge in separate directions. I was on my way to advanced biology in the building next door when I heard her annoying voice call out, “Girl, you gone be late if you don’t twirl and skip your fruity ass to your next class.”

           The way Louis and I met has to be the craziest story ever. So I’d met this freaky girl in a private Facebook group that said she loved being in threesomes with two dudes. I’d never ran a train on a girl with any of my homeboys and didn’t want to, so when she suggested that I have a threesome with her and another nigga she was replying to on Facebook, I was all for it. I showed up at her house at the same time the other dude showed up, and it was pretty much instant between us. We double-teamed her until she couldn’t take no more, but both of us knew there was something more there. I could feel it in the way he looked at me and I knew he knew that I was checking him out. As we were leaving, we exchanged numbers.

           Before Louis, I’d only fooled around with one other dude and it wasn’t even a full experience. All it did was make my curiosity stronger. Louis gave me the full experience. He was downlow and claimed he liked fucking women just as much as he liked fucking men. And for nearly six years, he fucked me regularly. I got so addicted to him that I moved him into my apartment. We were friends in public and fuck buddies behind closed doors and for a while I was cool with that. It wasn’t until he got a girl pregnant that things started changing between us.

           “Wassup peanut head,” he said to me as he walked into our apartment. He closed and locked the door before collapsing onto the sofa beside me. He kissed my cheek and then kept looking at me. “Why you so quiet?”

           “I’m just thinkin’,” I replied.

           “Thinkin’ ‘bout what?”

           “This whole baby thing.”

           “D, I wish you’d stop trippin’. It ain’t like I’m gonna be with the bitch.”

           “See, this is what pisses me the fuck off. Lou, I don’t give a fuck about you bein’ with her and fuckin’ her. We both fuck females on the side. I just can’t…” I sighed and gave up.

           “You just what?”

           “Nothin’, bruh. Just forget it.”

           “I don’t know what the fuck your problem is but you need to chill the fuck out. I’m with you so there ain’t no problem. I hate when you get like this.”

           “And I hate that you had to go and fuck up a good thing.”

           “If all you gonna do is bitch then I’m out.” He stood up. “I already here this shit from Nyemah, I don’t need it from you.”

           “Leave then.” I turned my focus back to the TV thinking that he would leave, but he sat back down.

           “What do you want me to do, D’Angelo? I’m sorry I got her pregnant but there ain’t shit I can do about that now. It’s in her hands.”

           “You wanna know what you can do?”

           “Yeah. I’ll do anything to make you feel better. You know that.”

           “Be honest with me.”

           “Okay.”

           “Why did you fuck her without a rubber?”

           “What?”

           “Why did you fuck her without a rubber, Lou? Me and you don’t use condoms and we said we’d never fuck anybody else without them. So, why did you do it that one time with Nyemah?”

           “It was outside the club, man. I wasn’t gonna hookup with no bitches that night because I thought you were gonna be up and ready to take some dick after I got in from the club. But when I was leavin’, I saw Nyemah and that ass and…shit bruh I couldn’t help it. And she was givin’ me that look and my dick got hard…”

           “Just stop.”

           “Me and you didn’t fuck that night because when I got in, you was sleep.” He stopped and then put his arm around me. “You mad at me?”

           “What if she would’ve had somethin’?”

           “Bruh, chill. That girl could barely take dick. A bitch with a pussy that damn tight ain’t fuckin’ around. Besides, she said she’d seen me around the club plenty of times before.”

           “I wish you wouldn’t have fucked her.”

           “If I had known she wasn’t on the pill I wouldn’t have fucked her. But what’s done is done. I’ma be a man and take care of my responsibility.”

           When he said that, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Take care of your responsibility? What about your responsibility to what we got goin’?”

           “Here you go again. You sound like a fuckin’ bitch when you say shit like that.”

           “I guess I’m bitch then. You don’t take this shit serious enough for me, Louis. It’s like this shit is just some game to you.”

           “Nigga, I take everything I fuckin’ do seriously! Don’t you ever say no dumb shit like that again!”

           “Oh, so now I get a real reaction out yo ass. Okay.”

           “I swear you like fuckin’ with me for no reason, D. I’m really gettin’ sick of this shit.”

                                      Me (D’Angelo Clark)

           “I’m fuckin’ with you for no reason? Are you serious?! We have a code, Louis! You fuckin’ broke the code when you went up in that bitch raw! And I don’t care if you didn’t mean to do it and that it’s too late to change it, you fucked up!”

           “So what you sayin’?”

           “Nigga, I don’t know if this shit can be fixed. That’s what the fuck I’m sayin’!” I stood up and went down the hall and into my room. Even though he always slept in there with me, it was considered my room whenever we had people over.

           He stormed into the room and asked, “You done with me?”

           “Just leave me alone, Lou.”

           “Nah, if you thinkin’ it then you need to just say it. Are you done with me?”

           “I don’t know but I think you might need to go stay with Junebug or Ant or somebody for a little while. I need time to think.”

           “A’ight, whatever you need. I’ll go pack up some shit and I’ll call Ant on my way to his crib. I guess I can tell him me and you got into it, which wouldn’t be far from the truth.” He was about to leave my room but stopped and turned back towards me before saying, “You know how I feel about you. There ain’t a thing in this world that I wouldn’t do for you. And even when you don’t believe it, I’m always gonna have your back. I love you, bruh.”

           I don’t know why, but I got the strangest feeling when he told me he loved me. We’d been saying that four-letter word to each other so casually but it really did feel different that time. I felt this tingle go up my spine and my heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t until he’d left the apartment that I found myself wondering if I really could walk away from the relationship. What we had was special because no one knew about it. That’s probably why we were able to become so close, because no one could intentionally try to come in between us.

           Louis was pretty much all I had, and before he got Nyemah pregnant, I was all he had. We both grew up in the foster care system. His experience of moving from one group home to the next was almost identical to mine. We liked a lot of the same things and connected on a level that’s hard to even describe. There were times where I’d be thinking of something specific and just before I’d get a chance to say it, he’d say the exact same thing. And then there were times where it seemed like we were having a conversation without speaking to each other. It was weird how in sync we always were with each other. I had no idea just how in sync we were until that hot summer day.

           After he left the apartment, I decided to go for a walk. It was a typical afternoon in the neighborhood. I walked around for a good half hour before turning to head back. That’s when my phone started ringing in my pocket. I took it out and looked at the screen to see it was Louis calling. I ignored the call and continued my walk. About two minutes later, he called again. This time I decided to answer it.

           “What do you want, Lou?” I asked. He didn’t respond. “Lou?” I waited for him to say something but he didn’t. All I could hear was heavy breathing and static. “Louis, I can’t hear you. The phone got a bad connection.”

           “Meet me,” he finally said through the static.

           “What?”

           “Meet me at the…park.”

           “Huh? What park?”

           “The…park.”

           “I can’t hear what…” The phone clicked and I looked at the screen to see he’d hung up.

                                         Louis Jenkins

           His voiced sounded so weird. I could tell it was him but there was something different in the way he sounded. Cedar Park was the nearest park so I began walking towards it. I was almost halfway to it anyway so it would’ve taken longer to go back and get my car instead of just walking. When I got to the park, he wasn’t there. I looked all around and didn’t see him anywhere. I figured that he must’ve still been on his way, so I sat down and waited. After about twenty minutes, I called him back but his phone went straight to voicemail. I texted him three different times but the texts remained unread. I didn’t know what was going on, but I wasn’t liking the way it was making me feel.

           After waiting for a little while longer, I gave up and decided to walk back home. I thought about Louis and that weird phone call the whole way back. The moment I turned down our street, I smelled smoke. I looked up and noticed my building was on fire! There was a fire truck spraying water and police and people everywhere. I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing. I spotted my neighbor Kevonte and hurried over to him to find out what happened.

           “Yo Kevonte,” I called out as I approached him. “What the hell happened?”

           “You know Mrs. Hendricks?” he asked me.

           “The old lady that lives in the apartment above mine?”

           “Yeah. Somethin’ happened in her apartment and it caught that whole side of the buildin’ on fire.”

           “Shit, that means all my stuff got burnt! Fuck! Man, I can’t believe this shit!” I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. “Is Mrs. Hendricks alright?”

           “Nah man. I heard a firefighter say she was dead, bruh. Her and her cats died up in there. Shit is fucked up.”

           “Damn. I feel bad she died like that. My stuff, though.”

           “D’Angelo!” Louis called out. I looked behind me to see him getting out of his car. He ran over to me. I could tell he wanted to hug me but couldn’t due to our surrounding. “You okay, bruh?”

           “Yeah, I wasn’t in there. I had taken a walk and…” I suddenly remembered his phone call. “Wait, why did you come back here?”

           “Because I got all the way to Ant’s crib and realized I left my phone in the apartment.”

           “What? No, that’s not possible. You called me and told me to meet you at Cedar Park.”

           “Huh? No I didn’t.”

           “Yes you did. It was while I was heading back here. I walked to the park but you never showed up.”

           “D, I didn’t call you from my phone. I couldn’t have. It’s up in the apartment.”

           “Louis…” I pulled my phone from my pocket and pulled up my recent calls history. That’s when things really got weird. His two phone calls to me weren’t there. They weren’t in my recent calls history. “I don’t know what’s going on but you called me and told me to meet you at the park. My phone must’ve deleted the two calls from the history.”

           “D’Angelo, how could I have called you if my phone is upstairs probably burnt up by the fire? I never called you.”

           I felt like I was going crazy. I know for a fact that I didn’t imagine him calling me. How could something like that had happened? After talking to the firefighters and police, we learned that Mrs. Hendricks’s gas line behind her stove had cracked. She must’ve lit a cigarette or something and the apartment exploded, causing other apartments to catch on fire. Her floor and our roof caved in so had I been home, I would’ve died. That phone call from Louis saved my life. His phone had been destroyed inside of the apartment so there was no explanation for how I got the phone call from that phone.

           “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked me as we rode in his car.

           “Yeah,” I told him. “This whole thing just doesn’t make sense, man. You gotta believe me, Lou; I’m not making it up.”

           “I believe you. If you would’ve walked back to the apartment instead of goin’ to Cedar Park…I don’t even wanna think about it. You’re safe and that’s all that matters.”

           “What are we gonna do?”

           “Well, we can stay at a hotel until we find another place. We just gotta work more hours than usual. We can replace all the stuff we lost. What we could never replace is each other. I know you’re still mad at me but we still got each other, D’Angelo. No matter what.”

           “I know.”

           “I love you.”

           “I love you, too.” I reached over and grabbed his free hand as he drove with the other.

           After that experience, our relationship changed. We became closer than we already were. I forgave him for getting Nyemah pregnant and I made sure he knew that I wasn’t going to leave him ever. About three weeks later, Nyemah got in a fight at the club with some girl. The girl’s friends jumped Nyemah and she ended up miscarrying at fourteen weeks. I could tell Louis was hurt by it so I did whatever I could to comfort him. All the while, we never discussed what happened the day our apartment burned. But both of us knew why it happened. We knew without a doubt that we were meant to be together, and that if we tried to break up, fate would only pull us back together again. That day was definitely a test for me. I’d never doubt how strong our love is for each other every again in my life.

[Disclaimer]: Pictures used do not reflect the sexuality or personality of people in the pictures. They only serve as visual examples of the characters.

           I was out for an exercise run around the neighborhood when I saw two cars parked in my new neighbor’s driveway for the first time. I’d known the house next door had been sold for a while but hadn’t seen the buyers since learning it had been sold. All my wife and I saw were movers and trucks over there for the past few weeks. Now that they’d actually moved in, I decided to wait outside for one of them to walk out and see me so I could start a conversation. When nobody walked out, I pulled out my phone and called my wife.

           “Damian, I’m busy with something at work,” she told me after answering my call. “Is something wrong?”

           “Nah, everything is cool,” I told her. “But guess what?”

           “What?”

           “I think the new neighbors have finally moved in.”

           “Really? Are they white?”

           “I don’t know. They haven’t come outside since I noticed the two cars in the driveway.”

           “I hope they’re not white.”

           “They’re probably black. White people don’t willingly move into a neighborhood that’s a majority black neighborhood unless they’re running from something, no matter how nice the neighborhood is.”

           “That’s true. Well, walk over there and introduce yourself.”

           “I thought about doing that but I don’t know. What if they’re weird? And I just got through running. I might wanna take a shower first.”

                                          Me (Damian Patterson)

           “Baby, just go over and say hi to them. It won’t take long. I probably won’t be getting home until very late tonight, so it’ll probably be tomorrow before I can meet them.”

           “You’re working late again, baby? Damn, that’s the third night in a row. I’m tired of eating delivery and takeout every night, Tisha.”