RUN BOY.

omg here they come!!!! 

this is the type of high quality content I signed up for.

Leave an object in my ask and my muse will react to it being given to them.

SHIT PEOPLE HAVE SAID WHILE DRUNK SENTENCE MEME.

❝ don’t tell anybody i was drinking. ❞ ❝ it’s not drinking alone if the kids are home! ❞ ❝ i’m not that drunk. i can still take my clothes off. ❞ ❝ i lost my pants… but i found myself. ❞ ❝ what am i doing? searching… for life. ❞ ❝ a straw is just a test tube, but with an extra hole in the bottom. ❞ ❝ i feel like a pickle torpedo… in a sea of graham cracker crumbs. ❞ ❝ IT’S THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM, YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER! ❞ ❝ I’LL PROTECT YOU! I’M BATMAN!! ❞ ❝ they’re a vip at that one strip club. what’s it called again? um… golden corral? ❞ ❝ if i had forty-seven dragons, i’d give you one. but only one. ❞ ❝ the drunkness… is FUCKING ME. ❞ ❝ suck my dick, i’m a pterodactyl. ❞ ❝ does a tree shit in the woods? ❞ ❝ 2-4-5-8, what do we all fucking hate? MATH. ❞ ❝ this liquor is so shitty, it couldn’t even get my pussy high. ❞ ❝ i don’t wanna FUCKING RHOMBUS! ❞ ❝ i used to be from mexico, but i’m not anymore. ❞ ❝ on a scale of one to russian, i’m vladimir putin. ❞ ❝ you can have a toke of my penis. ❞ ❝ dude, can you call my wallet? i think i lost it. ❞ ❝ thank you very hard. ❞ ❝ I DON’T REMEMBER IF I LIKE SNICKERS!! ❞ ❝ i’m not gay, i’m just an idiot. ❞ ❝ whoever told me this was dr. pepper eats whale cock. ❞ ❝ of course i’m not a cop. I FUCK HOOKERS!! ❞ ❝ oh look, my favorite couple, homeo and juliet. ❞ ❝ hamster nipples. ❞ ❝ IT’S A FUCKING AUTOMATIC COWBOY! ❞ ❝ do tomatoes have lettuce? ❞ ❝ c is for bitch. you bitch. ❞ ❝ i need to race like a piss horse. ❞ ❝ what the FUCK is a sonic?! ❞ ❝ return everything except the candy and condoms. ❞