barbie, eat your heart out

you have 6 seconds to pass me that blunt before i threaten to kill myself

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

its awesome theres a vampire on sesame street because you need to introduce children to the concept as early as possible

i'm gonna get so much hotter in my 30s and the scary thing is i'm already pretty hot

climate change

walking around the dashboard at four in the morning stepping on all the creaking posts loud as fuck

it really is annoying as hell how someone will talk about how poor people can't avoid ethically dubious products because of how being poor works and then someone with a two story house in the suburbs will take that to mean they can order harry potter books through a drone delivery from amazon and if you criticize that you're a bigot