Bae Yuna

there were so many words jaesung wanted to say. so many bottled up apologies and confessions he wants to get off his chest. but it doesn’t feel right. this is the first normal conversation they have had in a long while and jaesung isn’t entirely sure if he wants to risk steering that more south. 

instead, he nods, the corner of his mouth pulling into a lazy smirk as he spares the photo frame another glance. “i don’t think he would really appreciate a scrapbook… no one likes working for my father that much. but i heard he recently moved in with his girlfriend so i figured he might like a couple of decorative pieces.”

“but it’s… as expected.” he offers as a reply, his smile faltering a little as he is once again reminded of the lie he has been telling for years. “i’m used to waiting and hosting but as it turns out, it’s a whole different to manage orders and staff. but my dad trained me well so i got the hang of it eventually.”

“aah yeah yeah- i’ve seen some of the announcements around town. are you having another show anytime soon? do- do you need help carrying your supplies?” even though, jaesung couldn’t live the life he wanted to, he was glad yuna was. he had always loved her art, always made sure she knew just how much he did when he attended her shows. and he still does although he stopped coming, has considered many times to send in one of his siblings and buy one of her pieces for the restaurant. but somehow that sounds like he would only be making it worse so he doesn’t, settles for the memories instead. 

“no.. no, i’m not.” another faltering smile, only this time accompanied with a dismissive roll of his shoulders. “i’m still writing songs but i don’t think there is a career for me there. and even if there was, i’m afraid it’s too late now. but it’s okay. i’m happy.” he is not, that’s only a lie he tells himself. a lie he tells everyone. “but how’s your mother? are you still living with her?”

“That works too,” Yuna nodded. “You can get them a succulent or something. Not too personal, not too expensive but something they would enjoy,” she suggested. 

It was an innocent conversation, talking about the past, catching up, but for whatever reason it just felt sad. They use to be best friends once, and now they were like this. Jaesung left a lot of questions unanswered, his behaviour being hostile to her one day and then like this the next. 

Maybe he just wanted to end things with her, and perhaps he felt bad about his behaviour now. But Yuna didn’t know, and she couldn’t assume either. It was safe to say that she didn’t know Kim Jaesung at all anymore, and he likely didn’t want to open himself up to her like that. 

“They say that practice makes perfect,” she said. “I’m sure your staff appreciate you.” 

The offer to help was surprising, simply because this was not what she was use to from him nowadays. He hadn’t been to any of her shows as of late, a further sign that he wanted to cut ties with her. At least, this was how it came off in her mind. “I’m okay,” she said, offering a smile. “I take the car myself so I can arrange it in there and drop it off at the studio...or ask them to deliver straight there,” she explained, even though he hadn’t asked. 

“I am having another one soon though,” she confirmed. “Hopefully in the summertime, I kind of have some ideas roaming around but it’s all up in the air.” 

“I don’t think it’s too late,” she said. “It’s never too late to chase your dreams. If it’s something you want to do, you should go for it.” It was easier said than done, of course, but she didn’t think he should give up. It was always clear how he felt about music, she could always see it. “But it’s your life...we’re not close for me to tell you what to do or know how you feel, but I don’t think it’s ever too late.” 

taehwan couldn’t help but chuckle in agreement with her. at least those crop tops show off the right parts of his body. or maybe that’s just what his fans say so his stylist will keep dressing him in them. can’t help but let another chuckle slip as yuna mentions exactly that.

“ah well, thank god i have you to keep me from appearing on the wrong side of those ‘hot or not’ spreads in the magazines,” he says, ruffling her hair as a display of his appreciation. “but i also think it’s been a little too long since you have come to any of my shows because there is definitely some magic mike stuff going on there. you know… to keep the fans happy.”

the strain that holds his features hostage loosens a little, nudging yuna in the side as he guides her away from the store and to the pink marmalade instead. “oh come on… so nothing happened while i was gone? no one you got your eye on? not even a little smoochy smooch?” taehwan isn’t usually one to pressure this much. if it’s not the right time for a relationship, there is no need to go out and search for it. but a part of taehwan is scared, tries to deflect for as long as possible knowing that what he is about to tell her, is something he should have told her a long time ago. “but… if you really want to talk about me then we might need to order these milkshakes to go.”

“Oh, don’t even worry about those,” Yuna laughed, waving her hand at the hot or not comment. “That’s trashy magazine garbage, you don’t need to worry about that. It’s all biased and anyone who says it’s a not is only jealous,” she said, partly to support her friend and partly because it was true. In no way was Taehwan ugly or unattractive, no matter what ridiculous outfit his stylist dressed him in. 

“It has been a while,” Yuna admitted, laughing once more. “And if it is a Magic Mike type of situation, I think I’ll definitely have to avoid it...I can’t look at you that way,” she teased. As attractive as he was, he was only her friend, he always had been and it never was anything more than that.

Yuna followed his lead as he led her away towards Pink Marmalade. “Oh, come on, you know if that were the case I’d tell you,” she said, playfully nudging him. “Nothing like that has happened for me in a long time, and that’s okay, I’ve been so busy anyways,” she said, putting on a bright smile to show it really was fine. 

there was still something in the back of his mind telling him that all this was untrue, that there was still something yuna wanted from him despite the lack of evidence and yuna’s reassurance. this time, however, jisung decided not to listen to this manipulative voice, keeping it locked for the time being. it may resurface again, stronger, with someone new, but he didn’t want to ruin this friendship that he had with yuna. even though he almost did a few moments ago.

he flinched with yuna’s apology, then with her offer for help, unsure how he was supposed to take it. he pulled his lips into an uneasy smile, trying to tell her that everything was okay now, that it was all in the past though it continued to haunt him in the present day. “i’ll be keeping that in mind. even though you might think i’m not the best person to talk to regarding… things like that, the same goes to you too. i’m all ears.”

with a hum, he concluded that he didn’t regret ‘confronting’ yuna all too much now. that seemed to have progressed their friendship, it didn’t feel as superficial anymore. “i’m glad you’re the way you are, then.” those words felt a little vague, maybe even hard to decipher, but jisung wasn’t sure how else to say it. “i supposed i should learn from you.”

as yuna uttered her next words, jisung couldn’t keep the eye contact once more, this time out of embarrassment and sheer speechlessness. “thank you… i honestly don’t know what else i should say. it’s a step-by-step process. because of you, i’m slowly getting there too, i think. at least, this conversation was very eye-opening. so, i should thank you for your patience instead of apologising.”

The discomfort could be clearly seen on his face. Yuna could be overbearing, she cared too much, a quality that was supposed to be good but not always was. Or perhaps she was simply assuming the worst, but she didn’t question it. Instead, she simply returned the smile, a silent acceptance. 

“Well hey, who says I think that?” she laughed, giving him a playful nudge, an attempt to lighten the mood. “But I appreciate it, thank you Jisung. I’ll definitely keep that in mind too.” 

His words were simple, innocent, but the impact hit her hard. He was so kind, so sweet, and perhaps he didn’t think much on what he said, but it really struck Yuna. “I don’t know if everyone agrees with that...but I appreciate it, thank you. We all have things to work on, but I’m glad you don’t wish I were any different,” she said. “Ah, what could you learn? But hey, if I can help, then you know that I will. Or at least, I hope that you know I will.” 

It was amazing how quickly a moment could change. It had started off surprising, odd, unexpected, perhaps a little tense, and now, although they may not consider it as so in so many words, it was a heart to heart. 

“as you know,”

there’s a pause, completely intended for dramatic effect, before daehan’s resting the stack of jackets on the mentioned table.

“i’m a fraud.”

legend has it if you say it shamelessly enough and with a straight face, god with grant you all that you lack. in the moment, daehan prays for perfect skin and an extra 100k on instagram. next he’ll pray that something useful comes from their creative session. useful in the sense that he can post the result on his instagram and tag it as up and coming. nonsense. up and coming nonsense should be his tagline. but, it’s because he’s so shameless about it and yuna’s so okay with it that things flow so freely between them.

“i’m only good enough at adding art to art. like reconstructing? call it dae-constructing.” it’s with the badly placed pun and a smile fit for all the homegrown NEETS of the world that he takes a seat in his usual spot on the floor. fabric is spread out to prevent the paint from causing a mess and the array of colors and possibilities had daehan alight with inspiration.

or at least that’s the plan.

he’s reaching to sift through the array of jackets on the table and decides on the yellow washed out denim one. “a little red cayenne color for some flavor is the concept.” probably the greatest, most fulfilling part about creating is starting from nothing. that’s where his initial excitement comes from, admiration in people like yuna who so willingly pull from a concept and make it a reality. he does the same with music but this form of art is so different, alive in its own way. “but i’m sure yours will be spicier right? do you have a theme at all?”

A brow arched, waiting for the young bow to continue. He was like this, always leaving her curious, another trait about him that she admired. 

At his confession, she couldn’t help but burst into laughter before squeezing his arm. “Actually I didn’t know that, and I’ve never thought that way about you so you stop that right now and don’t call yourself that,” she said, ruffling his hair. 

“Adding art to art....you bring up an interesting concept, I can’t say it’s used often, but hey, you can make it the next big thing and dae-constructing has a nice ring to it. Copying enough to make life easier for you but not enough to get sued for copyright infringement or plagiarism,” she said, although her tone was light, she was serious. They were here to have fun and for Yuna to help and encourage him, it didn’t do them good to get the law involved. 

It always excited Yuna to see someone’s eyes light up as the muse starting to flicker through their mind, on the cusp of bringing ideas to life and she wanted nothing more than to begin to bring his ideas to reality. She took her usual spot across from him and arranged everything so that it was laid out in front of them.

Yuna laughed at his comment and gave him a playful nudge. “Ah, I’m only just thinking now...the colour selection is nice, and I do like the idea that you have doing...I’d also be interested in some monochromatic schemes and designs for subtle yet out there still...what do you think?”

       jamie was quick to let out a laugh as she shook her head , “ i know , i know what you mean , unnie… but you’re right , there aren’t a lot of people there most of time which is why i started to like it —- it’s nice to have that quiet sometimes…” honest words were spoken with a small smile as she put down her chopsticks and looked up at the older. 

        carefully following her train of thought, jamie looked at her with wide eyes and nodded , “ that’s really cool , i’ve never knew that ! —- &&. i’m sure once you decide to , it’d be a great show and i look forward to it. ” art was such a foreign concept to the bartender , but as she currently thought about it , the feeling of curiosity couldn’t be helped. “ oh unnie , i really don’t think i can draw at all , i never really gave it a try but it looks really difficult !! ” resting her head on her hand , she looked at her with a small frown, “ — something about how you can’t please everyone… but hey , i know it’ll be great ! — i’d love to see it someday , though…”

Yuna nodded again, a part of her feeling like her head was about to fall off. The younger seemed to understand her so well and question nothing that she said or did. Perhaps it was only because she was drunk or perhaps it was simply because she was just a kind person that way. “Yes, it is...balance....everyone needs that.”

Yuna smiled. “Thank you, I always hope the next one will be better than the last and I’ve been lucky~ but some people don’t like it but that’s okay, it’s not to be liked, it’s to make people think and me be proud of my work...and I am!” she said, puffing out her chest. “No, no, no,” she protested, shaking her head. “You can draw...everyone can draw! Practice makes perfect and all that...”

“Sure! I’ll let you know when the next show is and you can come and check it out.”

“bedazzling? you’re talking about bedazzling right?” she’s most definitely not talking about bedazzling. bedazzling had died with light-up sneakers and heelies and daehan’s wishes of being the cool kid in the playground. yuna was all class and daehan’s creative input often times when it was related to trends, was ass.

as far as art trends went.

here’s the thing. 

unfortunately for yuna daehan was a noob with the arts. an ‘i did art in high school’ certified amateur. the closest thing to a framed masterpiece was an obligatory self-portrait that his grandmother now hangs on the wall. it’s obviously there for when his music career takes off and his adoring fans want memorabilia. fortunately, what he did know about color schemes and complements, abstract designs and details could often pass for knowledge. what he doesn’t know he’s still inspired by.

that’s how he found himself at the same art show as her. he craves the knowledge something similar to craving sugary cereal in the morning. that’s how he found himself gushing over concepts he didn’t quite understand but it didn’t matter, because he felt it. art was about feeling!!!!!!!!!!!! and daehan’s glad that whenever he feels like tackling designs for his upcoming ground-breaking fashion line, he has yuna to indulge him.

she’s fresh ( and so clean clean ). open. and accepts the bullshit he pulls from two hours of sleep and three iced americanos. which is also why they’re here now, creative impulses calling him and stacks of jackets and fabric in his arms. 

“litty let’s go for it. brought fabric paint for my jackets.”

“got everything?”

“Bedazzling?” Yuna asked, raising a brow. “Isn’t that when you decorate something that already exists? But I guess they might call it that too...I don’t know,” she frowned, wondering if that even fit the context of what it was. She supposed it did, but it wasn’t like she was spicing up her jean jacket or her sneakers. It was just a piece of...was it even paper? She didn’t know. But just something that expected jewels to make it come alive. She supposed in the end, it didn’t really matter what it was. 

He was so young, so energetic. That much was clear in the way he presented himself and the lingo that he used that Yuna had no idea what it meant. She was always more than willing to indulge in his creative impulses, finding art itself to be a form of therapy and self growth, even if not everyone agreed. In Yuna’s opinion, there was always a form of art that fueled a person and inspired them. For some, it may be in more than one way and for others, it could simply be just one. 

“Okay, that’s good,” she nodded, and gesturing to her work table. “I cleaned it up last night, so you can put them there and we can generally work over there,” she said.

Grabbing the last bit of things that she thought would be useful, she headed to the table, nodding at his question. “I got it all,” she said and made a mental note to pick up the things that she was running low on. “You can bedazzle your jackets and make them one of a kind. What kind of ideas did you have in mind for spicing them up?”

        the question couldn’t help but elicit a small laugh from the younger but she nodded in response knowing that it wasn’t meant to cause offence , yet she couldn’t help tease her as she spoke with a raised eyebrow , “ why ? do i not look like i can read , unnie ?? ” it was innocent and beyond adorable the older spoke , almost calming &. god knew jamie needed a bit of that in her life. 

        “ that’s so cool ! ” honest words said after she had concluded her train of thought and as her immune system , or whatever it was , started to kick in and the younger already sobering down , she found it easier to pay attention to the conversation. “ anything specific you’ve been working on lately? ” sighing in thought at her question , jamie wondered for a few seconds before replying , “ hmm , i don’t think i know too much about it , to be honest… but i do think it’s really fascinating. i can’t draw one bit but i’ve always admired people who , i think it’s really… cool. ” she repeated with a chuckle.

“No, no, of course not! Just not a lot of people like libraries...or going to libraries...or reading...especially younger people,” Yuna frowned. She knew she was teasing her and playing around, but Yuna couldn’t help but think how said it was not as many people read. 

“Mm...nothing specific, just all...” she said, flailing her arms around. “Everything. All the things, bits and pieces...half finished...nothing to put on a show...or maybe not yet...I’ll have to re-evaluate again when I’m sober,” she sighed, taking another bite from her food, surprised at how quickly she was managing to finish the dishes that she said she was going to take home. 

“No, no, no...” Yuna said, pointing at the younger girl. “You can draw...just not everyone can draw well...I don’t know if you can well or not but some will say yes and some will say no, they say it to me too.”

if he was to be completely honest with himself, with how kind yuna was regarding his sudden outburst, the guilt was eating him alive. but jisung tried to keep his smile, knowing that if that was shown, it would only hurt yuna even further. it was a rather toxic trait that he has been trying to work through, with only minor improvements. hopefully after this incident, he would learn to be more trustful.

“…i don’t know either.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck, taking in a deep breath. his eyes wandered, deep in thought, trying to find an answer. “i’ve always just felt like i wasn’t enough, i guess.” but now that he said that out loud, he felt vulnerable, much more vulnerable than he wanted to be. jisung didn’t want to dump his problems onto yuna after what he did to her, so he left it at that. no further elaboration needed from his end.

jisung was never one for a lot of words anyway, unless he was singing on stage. it was easier to pour out his heart on stage rather than one-on-one like this. he was prone to making a lot of mistakes, what with his horrible experience in social interactions.

listening to yuna open up a little, he began to understand what she meant, agreeing with her even. “that’s a good way of thinking.” he said, genuine. he was too used to treating others well while getting nothing in return, simply serve. it came with the bloodline, but jisung couldn’t stand it. “i’m sorry to hear that life has been difficult… but i get what you’re saying. i also feel that way.” he lets out an awkward laugh. “but i supposed you could tell from… how i reacted today.”

finally making proper eye contact with yuna, he tried to express his apologies with his expression, although that doesn’t work out very well. “i’m… sorry about that.”

Yuna watched the younger boy, not sure what exactly she was looking for. He didn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, that much seemingly apparent from the fact that she had no idea that Jisung had felt this way in the first place. That, or perhaps Yuna was a love more oblivious than she cared to admit. 

At his words, Yuna nodded. Some things made sense in your head, in the simplest of words but when it came to explaining to others, it wasn’t the same. Sometimes, there was no way to explain it beyond a feeling. Sometimes one just didn’t know. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” she said, sincerity in her tone. The way he spoke this time though, made it seem like Yuna shouldn’t press further, even though she was curious. She settled for squeezing his shoulder, offering a smile and said, “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m all ears.” The likeliness of him taking her up on that offer were likely slim, but as long as he knew she had her, then she hoped it would be okay. 

The smile on his face was reassuring, and it brought one to her own.  “I’m glad you think so,” she laughed. “Honestly, the other option was...to let it get to me and then I’d likely...be not as nice as I am now. Let bad thoughts and negative feelings consume me and that’s not...the best way to live. Plus, I had my mom, and she was great and always so good to me too.”

       the younger grinned while fingers swept across her forehead and she sighed a “ phew.. ” before slightly giggling. “ — i’m glad and i’ll be sure to try to keep it up. ” she spoke while returning her thumbs up. it was only after a moment that jamie realised she was sat with yuna outside of the club and there were here having dinner like any two ole’ pals. sure the younger was friendly to most of the patrons that visited her at the bar , casual conversations were ordinary… but out now hanging out where she wasn’t an employee wasn’t an usual occurrence. it was simple though , jamie enjoyed her company and she thought it be nice doing this every once a while if the other wished. 

      once they blew over whatever happened and her nerves had settled as well , it wan’t difficult jumping into regular conversation while taking occasional bites of the variety of food in front of them. “ —– not much , honestly. i like spending the rest of my time at home or at the gym… maybe some quiet early mornings in the library when i can’t sleep. ” she nonchalantly thought aloud before returning the question , “ —- what about you , unnie ? how do you spend your days ? ”

Yuna nodded, listening to the younger speak. “You read?” she asked, the words not meaning to come off in a bad way, just her drunken state not exactly putting them out nicely as it should have sounded. “What do you read at the library? The library...is nice. Sometimes I go too, not early mornings though...mornings are for sleeping.” She had the luxury of not really having a job, and working for herself, so sleeping in was always an option for her. 

“Me? I...draw,” she said, another blunt comment, not exactly what she meant but in her drunken mind, it made sense. “Lots of drawing...sometimes sculptures...I like art,” she explained, nodding as though this made perfect sense. A small part of her noted it could be worse and the other could just not understand what she was saying, but she at least made sense. Others were a lot worse. “Do you like art?”

     “you’re too good for this world.” he spoke to her, words that leaked from downturned lips as digits move to rake through his unruly strands. he has known her for some time now, and she was one of the few that were able to see past the walls that envelopes his persona in a shroud of mist. the hostility that once took over their acquaintanceship morphed into a deep friendship that reignited the warmth in his veins. cerulean flames that alight his soul, bursting at the seams as he yells and yells but she is there to comfort him, to soothe the pain that aches at his soul, his spirit calms and he whispers to her encouraging words that he hopes will lift her spirits as she does his. 

     “you know that, right?” words that would have never left him if it weren’t for her. he leans back up against the park bench, the darkness of the looming clouds above that scatter and blanket the night sky from all the glistening jewels above. he lets out a sigh, seeing his breath materialise before him, shoulders relaxed as he takes another deep breath. 

     he was getting oddly too sentimental for a night as beautiful as this, reaching for his pocket as he retrieves a cigarette, lighting it, making sure that he was turning away from her, tucking his lighter back as he exhales a cloud of smoke, “any leads on the old man?” 

@hgyuna​

It was a quiet night, peaceful. There was something magical when it was like this, with the sky clear and not a person in sight. In this case, it was herself and Hunter, a boy she had grown fond of and was there for, becoming a noona to him to look out for him and doing her best to keep him out of trouble. 

At his words, a smile spread on her lips and she looked over at him, knowing he never said what he didn’t mean, especially with her and ruffled his hair, a sign of affection in their own way. “You’re too kind to me,” she said, although she knew the other would argue that it wasn’t kindness but truth. It was like a routine, now. She knew what to expect, as did he.

“But I appreciate it, especially from you. I don’t know if I agree...I don’t know if everyone will, I’m sure some people will think the worst of me or think of me as not nice, but...those who matter are the one’s I’m concerned about,” she said, this time reaching towards him to hug him tightly to say you matter. She let him go though, looking up at the sky once more, feeling her muse grow and getting inspired to paint something. Perhaps she would when she got home.

The noise of the lighter caught her attention before the scent of the cigarette, and she turned, a frown on her lips now. He knew how she felt about smoking, but she also knew that had this discussion before, he knew how she felt. She knew he wouldn’t change. All she could do was scold him and tease him about it, and when he was ready (she hoped there would be a when and not a if) then she would help him then, too. 

“ does that good karma ever pay off ? ”  for a moment, he entertained the idea that, had he been in her shoes, their encounter would’ve turned out a lot differently.  not that he wasn’t a good samaritan, per se, but he wasn’t exactly the poster child for generous disposition, either.  

“ you seem quite knowledgeable in the obscure.  you’re not gonna curse me the second i turn my back, are you ? ” he mused idly, dark gaze flickering towards her.  and what a rare feat, to see him in such good spirits.  even joking, at that ?  if anything, to him, the wine proved to be more of a masterpiece ( or, at least, something actually worthy of praise ) than — whatever that children’s scribble was.  

at her question, his shoulders lifted into a small shrug, “ i’m more a fan of his sculptures, i suppose.  it’s a little difficult for me to recognize talent if i can recreate the painting with my foot. ”  he took a swig of his drink, relishing in the calmness that followed suit, “ have you been here long ? ”

Yuna hummed at his inquiry, not sure if he was speaking rhetorically or not, but chose to answer. “To each their own, I guess,” she shrugged. “Some people do believe in that and look for signs to say it’s working and that it’s a thing and bad karma and reading the stars and fortune telling and those kinds of things...so I guess it depends on who you ask.” 

She was surprised at his comment, and hoped he had been joking, although he seemed to be, especially since the glass in hand had seemed to loosen him up a little. Or perhaps he was always like this, she wasn’t exactly sure. “Oh, no, no,” she laughed, waving off the idea. “I wouldn’t do that. I just enjoy art is all,” she shrugged. 

“Ah, are you? Any particular sculpture of his?” she asked, curious about the man’s artistic knowledge. “Well if you could do that with your foot, that’s quite a reputation you can build for yourself,” she laughed, trying to visualize him doing so. “But I suppose I get what you mean...the sculptures add more 3D details whereas the painting is just...2D. It’s hard to notice the details when it’s just...a flat surface. But I think that would be difficult, whether or not it’s with your foot.” 

She continued looking at the piece, trying to find said details, not knowing if it was worth pointing out but he snapped her out of her thoughts at his question. “Oh? In the gallery? I’ve been here for about...almost an hour now, I guess? I was just sitting over there for a bit before you dropped your wallet. What about you?”