Howâs it going? Day II of not initiating textsđľđ˝
Well itâs Saturday, April 28, 2018, 4.26PM EST, I havenât said anything which might compel him every time to say something back. Because its basic decency?! Remember him mentioning on your first date that how he thought he should of broken up with Carly (a female with whom heâs had a 12 yrs of relationship) a long time ago?! But he didnât? Basic decency?! He doesnât want to share the responsibility of taking the first step? He made her do it?!
What are you so scared of? That if you stop talking he will too and it will fizz off? Well if it does, you will find someone else like him in two to three years of time? Isnât that your timeline anyway? Then what are you so petrified this time?your clocks not ticking? Remember Tess, you donât care about those things?!  It isnât like you love him? Or do ya?! Well last time after youâve  broken up, you stopped going to your hair dresser of 8 years because heâd apparently lived so close to her salon in the East village? And this time when he moved; you made yourself move out of your hometown- your comfort zone? And your birthplace? And moved boroughs?! Arenât you immune already? You should be? Then how come you have been coming out crying from time to time? That even in awkward places, like work (restroom of course?!) and on the train on your way home?!  Â
So thatâs a progress?! Right?! I think it is, you should prep yourself for all kind of worst situations that will actually help you get through most of your days without feeling uncertain whether itâs you this whole time who had kept it alive?!
Majority of the time itâs you whoâs been doing most of the work, this past four months- your constant grinding and drilling on him, may be take a step back now? And see if he turns around, may be you opened up way too much and made him feel too welcomed in your life and in your world in general, may be you have gone way too far in this process of responsibilities that actually should have been shared by two people and not just solely one person. May be now itâs time to admit it that he had quit out of it a long time ago, and you were just full of yourself to not have seen it and carried on like an insane person who doesnât read those hints.
May be taking a step back will give you a newer perspective to see this whole thing in a new light? How dare anyone can just step into your life and change the whole thing? And you kind of made the whole thing about him? He is unsure of these changes that youâve made on your own because of him, does it feel like youâve burn on fire? But isnât that created by you? Isnât it the high time to learn to like someone without being too obsessed about them?
Just because you both like the velvet underground and thinks that vintage violence is one of the best of Caleâs works; doesnât necessarily mean you two are soulmates. Itâs timing and heâd repeatedly mentioned that, âI wish weâd had better timing,â you still didnât read the stimuli.Â
Itâs two people who consistently have to make efforts even if timing isnât right?! But the problem is when one person blame everything on timing to get out of it...
And what about him liking every single of those IG posts of that super indecent female? How do you feel about that? Like how do you feel that the man who claims heâs never wanted anyone more than you? Canât stop liking every single posts that horrible cunt put up on her IG?!
May be itâs time to rest and rest your heavy head tonight on a bed of California stars âď¸
snowghoul
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