2.23.11

Happy birthday, America

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

my future 9 year old child reading Harry Potter: I love this mommy me: great but stay open minded and critical and don’t take everything at face value. I have prepared discussion questions

I miss the president THINKING full stop

i forgot what BFG stood for and i was sitting there for a good five minutes going, “no. no. they wouldn’t have called a kids film ‘big fucking giant.’ would they? would they?”

i’m glad ants dont know how big jupiter is or they would be fucked up about it. i was fucked up about it. jupiter is huge

Jesus, this one hurts.