heyapearl

Hey! She's Engaged!

There was a time when I was younger when I wrote about love and relationships. I would write post after post in my old blogs because it was a way for me to process whatever was going on in my romantic relationships at that time.

Wow, writing "romantic relationships" as if there were a lot and they were "romantic" haha! In reality, I only had two and they were all silly, young love.

Back then, everything felt serious. There were more bad moments than silly, giddy and sweet moments. I used to think that if there are no arguments, then the relationship is boring. That we're settling and there's no spark. So, there were arguments almost always, most of which were caused by me. I always pushed the other person, testing them to see their reaction to certain things that I say or do, trying to see if they're going to give up and change their mind. There was only so much pushing that one person could take, and so my last relationship crashed and burned. I was young, insecure, and I didn't know better.

When that ended, I spent a long time being single. I spent most days trying to build myself up, figure out my insecurities and fix them. There were some weird "situationship" in the most mild way in college. It was always unclear, even though there were hints of us liking each other; the answer was never definite. And it made me learn that I respect myself enough to not be someone's "maybe".

When I moved to Spain, I wasn't really looking for a relationship. Everything was new and exciting. I was focused on seeing cool new things, trying out new food, experiencing things that I used to only see in movies or in Youtube videos. I chatted with a few people through an app and was encouraged by my friends, but nothing really came out of it.

Until I met Ben.

Talking to him, meeting him, just being around him felt safe and comfortable. We were clear with what we wanted out of the whole experience, right from the start. It didn't take too long for me to fall in love.

Even when we were in a long-distance relationship, he always made sure that I felt safe, comfortable and loved. We don't fight all the time. There were arguments and several melt-downs (mostly by me lol), but we always talked and figured it out. In the end, everything always feels peaceful.

At one point, I thought we were becoming boring and too used to each other. I thought we were settling and that there wasn't any friction in our relationship. But I didn't realize that being in a relationship that feels safe and peaceful isn't boring. It should be the standard. I guess I was so used to a relationship that made me feel on edge all the time that I don't know that this is what a healthy relationship looks like: calm, safe and peaceful.

Ben made me learn so many things about love, relationships, and life. After five years, we're finally getting married! It has been a long time coming, and we can't wait.

Three years of being long-distance: him in Canada, while I was in Spain. We closed the distance two years ago when I moved to Canada. We have plans to move back eventually, but for now, we're starting our lives together here.

I remember the summer when Ben was getting ready to move back to Canada from Spain. We were in my summer apartment, enjoying an afternoon drink, when he drunkenly said, "I am going to marry you one day," and even if he was a bit drunk, he meant it.

In a few months, we're going to be husband and wife.

Vieux-Québec, Québec City | October 2025

2025

We're four days into the new year and I haven't really had the chance to sit down and reflect on the year that passed.

2025 was such a big year. Not to sound cheesy as hell, but there were so many big and small moments that made it a year of transitions. I finished my post graduate program, started a new job, got engaged, and moved to a new and bigger apartment — just to name a few.

Last December 29 marked my second year living in Canada. It's still crazy to me that I've been living here for two years now. It feels longer somehow because so many things have happened since I packed up my entire life again and moved here. As you may know (or probably not know), this isn't my first time living abroad. I used to live in Madrid and taught English in Spanish schools. I lived in Spain for three incredible years. Maybe I have a three-year limit to the places that I move to. We'll see.

My fiance and I also celebrated our five year dating anniversary on the same day (December 29). We honestly didn't think that one date could lead to where we are now: five years together and engaged. I can tell you our story one of these days :)

2025 was the year when I transitioned from being a full-time student to a 9 to 5 working girl. The year reminded me that I have to reserve mental space only to things that I'm only 100% interested in and that at the end of the day, a job is just a job.

This new year, I want to live slowly and not being distracted my screens most of the time. I don't want to perform. I simply want to live.

First of Many

The new year is here and instead of doing new things, I'm going back to doing what I used to do often, writing. I can blame ~life~ "Oh I was so busy, I couldn't find time to sit down and write", but really, I don't know why I stopped writing.

I've seen so many videos on Tiktok and Youtube about how people are choosing to go "analog" this 2026. Some people take it literally as in they're choosing to consume less digital media and resort to enjoying analog and offline hobbies like listening to vinyl records, watching movies on DVDs or even on VHS, shooting film photos more, and so on. Some people take it as a metaphor for living life slowly, being more present, enjoying offline hobbies not for content but purely for the fun of it — anything, really, to get people off of their damn phones. Uh-oh, she used an em dash, this must be written by chatgpt! Bruh, how do you think the machine learned it? From good writers, duh.

As for me, I'll take it both literally and metaphorically. My goal for the new year is to simply live life slowly and try to go back to enjoying hobbies that I used to do pre whatever version of the internet we're in right now. One of those hobbies is writing, or blogging in this case.

I started blogging when I was 12 years old. I remember my Live Journal and BlogSpot blogs where I published my thoughts and customized the heck out of it. There's a reason why millenial kids know a thing or more about coding. It's because we all wanted our social networks and blog sites to look kick ass with that glitter cursor, that curated playlist that played automatically whenever someone visits our site or profile, and make the fonts on our profile fit our aesthetic. It was a great time!

I used to do yearly reviews with lengthy write ups for each month. I had collages of photos from every month because I took so many photos for memories. It was a way for me to look back, remember and reflect on what happened, both big and small moments.

Blogging has always been a way for me to process my thoughts and emotions. It helped me see things in different perspectives as I write down my thoughts. I've always felt bad that I abandoned it because of many reasons.

But this new year, I'll try to write and publish as much as I can. It's a way for me to process life and all the thoughts and emotions that will come through. I don't want my brain, creativity and my writing skills to atrophy, so I will write as much as I can and as HUMANLY as I can. I will not rely on any grammar checking or AI to help me write because honestly, I'm pretty damn good writer. I may write a lot of run-on sentences and my thoughts may seem like it's running around in circles, but so be it. To err is human. To have messy thoughts is human.

Porto, Portugal | July 2021

Prague, Czech Republic | June 2023

Shot on Olympus OM-1 with Kodak Ultramax 400 and Kodak Gold 200

Prague, Czech Republic | June 2023

Paris, France | April 2023

Montmartre, Paris, France | April 2023

Florence and Pisa, Italy | February 2023

Bologna, Italy | February 2023

Antwerp, Belgium | April 2022

Brussels, Belgium | April 2022

What is expected of an English Language Assistant?

One thing that usually happens with new Auxes is that they are distracted with the novelty of living independently in a new country that sometimes they forget that they actually have to come to school and do their duties as an assistant.

Those Tiktok videos and Instagram reels of people romanticizing moving to a new country, settling in their new apartments, getting groceries, trying to find a regular spot for Sunday brunch or morning coffee, and traveling around Europe – they are only showing a fraction of what it's actually like. It sets the expectation so high for some people that when they come and do the program, they see how challenging it is and they realize that it's not for them. So some of them end up going back home or pushing through the year but dreading going to school and their students and teachers.

Don't get me wrong. I have been in a similar spot when I moved to Madrid. Everything was so new and exciting. The city is so beautiful. It's hard not to romanticize my life. I was fully feeling the vibe of being in my ~living independently girly in España~ era.

The "Oh wait. I actually have to go to school and teach kids English" realization hit me hard when I was several weeks in the school year. I have never taught children (especially Spanish children with different levels of English) in a classroom setting before, so the adjustment was rough for me.

Good thing, my school during my two years under the Ministry's program, was a good one. My students were lovely and sweet. Most of them are brilliant. Some of them are too brilliant for their age haha I had the same batch of kids for 2 years in different grades. I was with them when they were in first grade and again when they were in second grade and they knew me. I still have their drawings and the small scrapbooks that my teachers have bound together for me.

My teachers were warm and welcoming too. They have high levels of English. I never felt like I was not important or excluded from the group. We collaborated a lot and they trusted me enough to do my own one-on-one activities with the kids too.

Although there were some tough days, I still enjoyed my time as an English Language Assistant for three years. I mean, I wouldn't have stayed that long if I didn't actually like what I was doing, regardless of how sometimes you want to pull your hair out because some kid named Alejandro still don't know the days of the week in English.

Yes, you do get to do all the fun stuff about living in Spain and traveling around Europe. But you do have to remember that you're there because the program expects you to do your duties as an English Language Assistant.

So, let's talk about what is expected out of an Aux.

#1 Show up on time and Regularly

I know we Filipinos like to function in our own time. That should be changed because it's just pure disrespect to be late all the time. You're expected to show up on time. Classes usually start around 9AM, so you have to be there unless when there's a good reason. I have arrived late and missed the first few classes unintentionally before and it was always because of train strikes or malfunctions, or traffic. I made sure to let my coordinator and my teacher know.

You are also expected to show up regularly. If you need to skip a day, you have to get a justificante from a doctor if you are sick or from someone in charge if you are processing your government documents.

A justificante is a document that states the date, time, and the reason. If you are sick, it usually states the findings from the check up and the doctor's recommendations. If you fail to bring one the next time you show up or send it to your coordinator, I think it depends on the school on what they're going to do about it. Either your pay will be docked or you need to make up for your missed hours.

#2 Collaborate with Teachers

When you come to school, you might think that your coordinators and partner teachers already know what they want you to do and how you're going to help in class. This isn't true all the time and not true for many schools. Sometimes they just say "Do whatever you want" and that doesn't always work.

As an assistant, you are expected to collaborate with your teachers. You should do more than just walk around and help the kids. Ask them about their lesson plans. Suggest activities that you can do on your own (with your partner teacher inside the classroom of course) or together. Sometimes partner teachers can be hesitant in communicating with their assistants because they can be shy with their English level. This is why you have to ask and talk to them first.

#3 Be One of the Trusted References for English

As an English Language Assistant, of course you're expected to be one of the trusted references for English. You are the native speaker. So any questions about grammar, meaning, pronunciation, and sentence structure, for example, will be directed at you. When in doubt, Google is your best friend.

I remember in my school under the Ministry's program, one of my partner teachers asked me something about the proper pronunciation of a certain word. I can't remember it anymore but I remember we were both confused as to how you should say the word because it was different in the listening part of the activity. We both have very high levels of English but even we were confused. So we checked Google and practiced it all through the class.

#4 Participate in Events or Trips

Now, most schools don't really require you to join in trips or participate in events. It's optional, especially if the event is not something that you practice culturally like Thanksgiving. Filipinos don't celebrate Thanksgiving. So I didn't do a presentation on it or joined in their celebration.

However, there are some events and trips that are so fun that you don't want to miss like Halloween, Christmas, and Carnaval. I made a game for Halloween and the kids loved it. I joined Carnaval too and all the teachers in first and second grade were dressed as trains. The kids were dressed as tourists. Of course, me and my co-aux dressed as trains too. It was so much fun.

There was also this one time when the school went to watch Queen for Kids show and it was so fun! It was a Queen tribute band and I loved it so much.

#5 Interact with the Students in English ONLY

Talking to the kids only in English is probably already a given when Auxes apply to the program. It's what you're there for. When they ask if you speak Spanish, you always have to say no. Once they know that you can understand or can speak it, they will start talking to you in Spanish, which defeats your purpose.

However, in my experience, there are times when I had to pull out my limited Spanish to make them understand a word or the lesson. This usually happens with lower primary like in first grade or younger. But, as much as possible, interact with them only in English.

---

What do Auxes usually do in the summer if they don't get their stipends during those months?

Let's talk about summer!

As I have mentioned in several of my posts about the English Language Assistants program, Auxes DO NOT get their stipends during the summer months. This from July to September – that's three whole months without any Euros coming in.

I think one of the reasons why Auxes don't get any stipend during those months is because well, first, it's the summer break. There are no classes. Second, you are actually expected by the program to leave or go back to your home country after it ends.

You might think, "But I'm renewing for a second/third year!" and I get that but you're not entitled for the stipend (and other benefits like health insurance) when there are no classes, even if you're coming back for the next school year. Remember, you're not a regular teacher. You're just doing an internship.

When you renew for a second or third year, your duties as an English Language Assistant and all the perks that come with it, will only be effective once you start going back to school. For the Ministry's program, that's the first week of October. For BEDA, it's usually the second week of September. Only then will your health insurance be active again and your stipend will be given to you by the end of the month (or the week after).

With that in mind, how do Auxes survive the summer months?

Living Off Their Savings

For one, there are many Auxes who would save a portion of their stipends and they live off of that. They sublet cheaper rooms too. In general, at least in my experience, the summer months are cheaper in terms of rent and utilities.

Teaching in Language Academies

Another option is to teach in Language Academies. They are still open throughout the summer, except maybe for some who close for vacation. Businesses in Spain usually close for a month or longer during the summer. But for academies who remain open, there are still students coming in and Auxes get to earn some money. The pay is per hour and is usually not that high, but it is definitely going to help you survive. I have friends who have earned enough for groceries or utilities.

Here's a bit of disclaimer though: the competition to get hired in Language Academies are quite rough. People usually apply through referrals, or the job postings in Facebook groups, or online.

Joining Summer Camps

Joining summer camps is another option for Auxes too. Most summer camps offer accommodation and meals. Other camps only offer a weekly stipend. You will be a camp monitor for kids and sometimes the work hours and tasks are tough.

I personally don't have an experience with this, but I have friends who have told me how rigid the training is and the actual camp tasks itself. Sometimes they run for 2 months or longer, but you can choose how long you want to participate. You can find people posting about openings around May or June.

Going Home

Some Auxes have also gone back home for the summer to save money. They usually move out of their apartments and rent a space for their stuff. Then they come back in September in time for the new school year to start.

---

For me, I've stayed in Madrid for my first summer. I stayed in a cheaper apartment and lived off my savings.

Toronto, Canada | January 2022

Monte Carlo, Monaco | June 2023

On our last full day in the French Riviera, we started our morning a bit earlier than usual. We hoped to catch the train to Monaco without the huge crowd of people. We also waited for the train in the station near our hotel, instead of taking it from Nice-Ville, which is the main station. We thought that there would be lesser people in the station near us. But maaan! We were so wrong.

We arrived early and there were only a few people waiting. But the train came sooo late that more people came to the station. The train was also packed! Like sardines in a can. I think we missed two or three trains because we couldn't fit in anymore.

One thing that most people won't tell you about visiting the French Riviera during the early days of summer is that the trains get super packed. The trips aren't as frequent as in Italy. Last year, when my friends and I went to Cinque Terre, there were trains like every 20-30 minutes. Since the trips were frequent, the trains are hardly packed.

Anyway, we snuck ourselves inside the third train that we waited for more than an hour. We were desperate. It was either we get an Uber (which was expensive as heck) or squeeze ourselves in the next train. We chose the latter and it kind'a worked. We got in but we were struggling inside.

It took more or less 30 minutes to arrive in Monaco. It was already noon when we arrived. Good thing, we have some sandwiches and pastries as our "baon" because Monaco is expensive as hell.

There's really not much to do in the area, unless you're super rich haha. All we did was take photos and videos. We went inside the Monte-Carlo casino and took photos. There were many luxury brands and fancy people in fancy cars. I mean, it's Monaco. It's a rich person's paradise.

We went to the port and looked at all the yachts docked there. There were a lot of super yachts, the kind that looks like an actual ship.

It was super hot already when we came, so after taking photos and videos, we decided to go back to the train station and head to Menton.

Monaco is okay. Yes, it's fancy and it's crazy how rich people are. It's an okay place to visit once (and like half a day), just to tick it off your list.

---

Overall, our visit to the French Riviera was truly a dream come true. I never thought that I'd be there with my friends in my 20's. I've seen most of the places that I've only read and watched videos about. It was surreal.