I'm not sexually frustrated, I'm sexually enraged.

this is mean and terrible but it exhausts me to be around people who haven’t finished going through their pretentious asshole phase like okay holden caulfield I know we’re all helplessly suckling at the teat of modern media but can you shut up and play some goddamn mario kart for like five minutes

what

P A S T E L  M E T A B O L I S M

Imagine explaining this joke to a person who has never used tumblr.

do you ever see an opinion that’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for that person’s brain

a woman letting you see her naked is her trusting you to the fucking core. don’t take it for granted. something like that may be minor to you but to her. its everything..

Can society stop demonizing technology like, I’m sorry if your nephew isn’t having a conversation with you Susan, but he’s probably just using his phone to have an excuse not to talk to you

One day, I’m going to be a wife and a mother. I will come home from work to my own little family. I will wake up and fall asleep next to the person I love. We will be the ones that help teach our children to walk, talk, ride a bike, and be a good person. How incredible is that to think about? That “one day” isn’t just an idea, but that it’s actually going to happen?

this is so fucking metal

if a guy is hitting on u and he is clearly the alpha in his group of guys.. go for the third in command and undermine their whole power structure

Oh god, I used this tactic so often. Because in most cases I was trying to pull dudes for my friends, rather than myself. You figure out who their leader is, go for #3 or #4 in the group, who is generally much cuter and a bit more shy. This is why he ranks high, but not too high. You go hard on this dude. You hold his hand and smile at him. You don’t even have to go further. Dude #3 is just bewildered you brushed off #1. This makes the dude at the top antsy. It causes dissent in the ranks. Your friends can now swoop in, picking from the remaining dudes as they start to scatter in the wind. They have lost all sense of self. You have secured free drinks for the rest of the night. And whatever else your genitals desire.

She broke that shit down so beautifully

women are masterminds and i love it

#what twenty one pilots song is this from (x)

i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000

freshman: *screaming and laughing* me, with dead eyes: looke….i understand u havent yet lost ur childlike optimism but it is 8 in the fucking mornign