How the heck am i supposed to get over you.

It hurts so much. Somebody, please stop the pain.

“What would make you stop? What would make you happy ba?” Mika asked me months ago. I looked at her with a puzzled expression. I couldn’t give her an answer then but earlier on the way home it came to me. I knew what i want. I’ve probably always known, but for some reason i couldn’t accept it. So i kept running away from the thought the moment it got close to being a real “thought” in my head. What would make me stop, what would make me happy coincidentally is the one thing that breaks my heart and spirit. The one i all so want, is the one i love, the one i lost and the one i will never have. I’ve been wishing, that on my twentieth birthday she will appear, in a beautiful black dress. She will slowly walk up to me and i will be left breathless- speechless- in tears. To have her hold my face. She doesn’t have to say anything, she doesn’t have to greet me. I just want to have her for a moment (this time with an advance notice of her absence in the long run) before losing her again for eternity.

Save me, anybody, it hurts... it hurts so much

When i try to remember you- or when i try to picture you in my head it instantly fades. I can't seem to hold the image of you.