throam ryan apologist

— I have no skeletons in my closet - I’ve pulled them out, dressed them up, and put them in songs.

I should go back to my old acc @wclvesvshearts and start making throamics again (or get a life, one of the two)

Anyway, imagine writing a fic so powerful I still periodically re-read it and draw stuff about it. We used to be a proper nation.

currently reading: 'Is it Okay to Say This?' by Trista Mateer

last song: 'The Subway' by Chappell Roan

last series: Arcane! 🤩

last movie: I honestly cannot remember...

sweet/savory/spicy: oh god, sweet - I am never not thinking about chocolate.

tea or coffee: i love coffee but coffee doesn't love me...

working on: my bwf fic!

Tagging some probably unsuspecting followers...

last song: peter by taylor swift (breakup core)

last series: n/a

last movie: 28 days later! been on a cillian murphy kick

sweet/savory/spicy: sweet unfortunately

tea or coffee: coffee (black but i love tea too)

working on: studying for my pharmacy boards lol

The Heart Rate of a Mouse is not primarily a love story.

I couldn't figure out why it gripped me so much as a teen but reading it again now that I'm old it's kinda obvious.

It's a story about finding a home.

Ryan is a fucked-up kid from an upbringing that made him think he could never really be loved by anyone who knew him. He had this hope that he'd found a home with Mrs Roscoe but it got shattered and he gave up looking for so long because he thought that was his only chance.

Brendon is a lost kid who had to leave his home and is desperate for the security of it again. He gets so used to being transient that he's willing to settle for Shane just because he thinks that's the best he can get.

And neither of them can let themselves have each other because they're so broken they can't believe they're allowed it. They can't trust it.