ラン・ファースター

I’m fucking pissing myself. You know how all of Jupiter’s moons are named after his lovers and affairs? Yeah. NASA is sending a craft to check up on Jupiter. You know what the craft is called?

JUNO.

Who’s Juno?

JUPITER’S WIFE.

NASA IS SENDING JUPITER’S WIFE TO CHECK ON JUPITER AND HIS AFFAIRS AND LOVERS.

This is a song ground control used to wake the astronauts with. It is the earliest form of Micspam i can think of. It’s also the only song to ever be banned by NASA.

During the apollo missions, They were fairly sure they were gonna die, so NASA gave them all corvettes

Which they proceeded to dragrace around the NASA complex, do burnouts and doughnuts and all kinds of tomfoolery

Then there was the time Al Shepard went to the moon, and it simply wasn’t enough.

So he brings a fucking golf club to the moon and plays golf on the moon.

The man had an engineer make him a custom golf club he could hide in his suit, just so he could goof off.

Then there was a time they drew a dick on mars

“i couldn’t help it, i was having a bad episode” is a justification, not an apology.

“i’m so fucking sorry, i fucked up, i don’t deserve to live, i should stop talking to anyone ever, i should die” is a second breakdown and a guilt trip. it is not an apology.

when you apologize, the focus should be on the person you hurt. “i’m sorry. i did something that was hurtful to you. even if i was having a rough time, you didn’t deserve to hear that,” is a better apology. if it was a small thing, you can leave it at that.

if you caused significant distress to the other person, this is a good time to talk about how you can minimize damage in the future. and again, even if it is tempting to say you should self-isolate and/or die, that is not a helpful suggestion. it will result in the person you’re talking to trying to talk you out of doing that, which makes your guilt the focus of the conversation instead of their hurt.

“Hello? Yes, this whale looks very suspicious. I think he may be trying to get inside a part of the sea that’s not his. Just come quickly.”