Brep

whens the feds try to arrest me for a thought crime but i think of a bomb

A man will see a mouse and be like is anyone else gonna eat this and not wait for an answer

i love forcing tanks to pull more than the ai usually lets them. thancred i have a present for you and its 1 million giant wasps

i dislocated my ballsack

No let this distract from fact that in 1966, Al Bunga score 4 touchdown in single game while play for Polk High School Mammoths in 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including game-winning ungabunga in final seconds against old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dino

youre just mad im annoying you and getting on your nerves on purpose

Happy late birthday because I assume you were born yesterday

There will never be another character like Blackwall Dragon Age. He's a Grey Warden. The first time you meet him, he saves you from being kirked. He's an idealist. He's a romantic. He's a war hero and a protector and a knight in shining armor. He's a liar and a bullshitter and a coward. He's a family man. He's traumatized by his family's tragedy and his own failures. He's a sports fan. He hates nobles. He's trying to impress nobles. His best friend is a lesbian half his age. He made a suicide pact with his coworker. He's a fuckboy. He genuinely likes women. He helps his friends get laid. He makes toys for children in his free time. He's a child murderer. He always lies about who he is. He always tells the truth about who he is. He gets psychoanalyzed by Varric without either of them realizing it. He fucks so loud it scares the horses. He idolizes courtly love. He's not a Grey Warden. He's every Grey Warden that ever walked on Thedas.

What monkey considers business, horse considers play. But to Mark, it's all iplier.

Me when I’m a juvenile dog enjoying a soft boiled egg, a high protein, high fat, palatable and easy to digest snack well suited to the physiological needs of a rapidly growing canine.

I swear on your life that if you do not wish itto a happy birthday

I broke out of prison using a kidney stone protruding from my urethra to slash a guard’s neck

“a little bird told me” you say? interesting because a massive entity told me otherwise

"what time is it?" you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both your feet, i loudly announce "its cloudy"

Count dracula? Um okay one

I load into a new zone. A friendly npc approaches, "welcome to our town ! my apologies for the mess we’ve been having some troubles as of late, could you adventurers please help u–" but I cut him off. I yell "YO DO YALL GOT TRIPLE TRIAD HERE ??"

zenos literally flew dragonstyle to the edge of the universe just so he could push the warrior of light on the swingset