My Open Letter to Lin-Manuel Miranda
Dear Lin-Manuel,
Like many, I am a huge fan of your work and the indescribable symphony that goes on in the Richard Rogers every night. I was very lucky to get to see “Hamilton” and it was even better in person than I could have imagined. I was able to chat with you for a minute at the stage door, but I was not able to say so much that I wanted to say at that moment. It is very difficult to find the way to show gratitude towards someone who is in the spotlight and is surrounded by fans daily. This is my humble attempt to thank you for the impact you have had on my life. I hope you get to read it.
I am the oldest of three siblings, a first generation American, and I come from an amazing, large Mexican family. I grew up in South Texas, going back and forth between 2 countries and 2 cultures on a daily basis.(See that girl in the blue dress, in the front row, with the “Mckayla is not impressed” pose? That is me).
I am also the most emotional person I know. I love literature and Spanish poetry and plays. I cannot read Federico Garcia Lorca or Pablo Neruda without crying my eyes out. As the oldest child, I had a lot of expectations set upon me from very young. I would go to college, med school, and become a successful doctor. I, like Nina, was the first to go to college and I graduated with a Biology and Spanish degree. After graduation, I moved to Mexico where I went to medical school. I did well in school, and enjoyed what I was doing, but something was missing. After the first 2 years, money was a little tight and I had to get a job. Eventually, I had to start working full time just to be able to make ends meet, and school became a secondary thing.
One day, after leaving a surgery during a rotation at 3 AM, I packed my bags and moved back home. I was not happy. I did not know what I was going to do, but I knew that being a doctor was not it. I would have someone ask me every day ifI was going back to school and would tell me how amazing of a doctor I would be someday. It was so much pressure. That year at Christmas dinner, I stood up, told my whole family to let it go, and asked them not to bring it up again. They listened, and now I was 26, unemployed, and had to decide what to do with my life.
Unexpectedly, I moved 1,000 miles away from home and started a different life. I found a job in a non-profit agency working with immigrant victims of domestic violence and violent crimes, and I found what was missing. Even though I was living in a state that had very close-minded views of immigrants, I found my passion and what has become my life’s work. It was been 8 years since and I have never been happier. I have helped many people turn the most horrible experience of their lives into the opportunity to become a survivor. I never thought I could have that chance, and I am so grateful for it every day. However, I had never really explained to anyone what I had gone through because I did not find the words, or really knew how to express it. That is, until you.
One day, going through facebook or twitter, I read a story about Beyoncé going to a play and talking to Jonathan Groff (who I adore) about his walk. That brought me to your tweets about that day, and I decided to listen to “Hamilton”. I had never been so moved by music like this before. I was driving home from work when I got to the last song and almost had to pull over because I was crying so much. It was beautiful. I told my best friend about it, and even though she knows that I tend to be obsessive and over emotional about things, she listened to it and fell in love with it, too. She is also a first generation American, and had recently gone through a divorce. Trust me; “Burn” means something completely different for someone who had gone through what she had gone through. “Hamilton” became the thing that made us so happy that we could have together. 7 months later, we got on a plane, stood in the cancellation line for 14 hours, and eventually saw the show together. It was the happiest moment we had both had in a VERY long time. It was truly one of the best nights of our lives.
“Hamilton” led me to listen to “In the Heights”. Listening to Nina and her parents sing about a struggle I had 10 years before that I was not able to express was the most cathartic experience of my adult life. I wish I had those words back then and maybe I would not have held my emotions for such a long time. It was what I needed to close an old chapter, and be able to let go of so many feelings; the guilt of letting my parents down; the ability to say what I had been wanting to say ten years before about how I felt; the acceptance that in my own way, I was still making a huge difference in people’s lives everyday.
As an immigrant, a person who works with vulnerable immigrants and as someone who had been “waiting for it” my whole life, it was so moving to hear someone express the way you did. So, thank you, Lin. Thank you for putting my feelings into words without even knowing it. Thank you for living your passion and not changing who you are or how you tell a story to fit in a box. Thank you for your kindness in sharing your talent with all of us. Thank you for performing every day as if Beyoncé was in the audience. Thank you for showing that immigrants are so much more than what society wants us to be or believes we are. Thank you for everything. You have changed my life, and my world will never be the same.
Siempre,
Nubia
