Whitebeard

Part 133 of my bakery “enemies” au!

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The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:  Laundry Lists and Love Songs

Yeah here’s the thing Science Does NOT care what you think! Science doesn’t care if you think dinosaurs are cooler as these hyper intelligent , aggressive, neigh invulnerable, scaly reptile monsters.

Science only cares for what is right. The fact is the Park trilogy was accurate and revolutionary for the time it came out. It gave people not what they expected but something new. (It also had actual characters, phenomenal writing, and a good plot but I digress).

World gave people what they expected from dinosaurs with terrible characters, scripts, and plot. When it could have done what the Park movies did. Give people something new and unexpected with its dinosaurs and other extinct animals. Something that was both innovative and accurate compared to the current public view on dinosaurs.

We could have had an excellent story about how our knowledge advances, while also cautioning about how our ideas can easily be influenced and get out of hand, or even warning us about trying to learn what we shouldn’t. Or anything else besides what we got from the World films.

The World trilogy could have been the next Park trilogy. It could have been what Prehistoric Planet *is*. But instead it just gave us violent dinosaur action after violent dinosaur action. In the process completely spitting on everything the Park films, it’s predecessors stood against.

#137.5 - Created from extensive research, Porygon are Pokemon that consist entirely of programming code. These Pokemon are capable of moving freely in cyberspace, can revert themselves back into program data, and do not need to breathe; however, they are only programmed with basic motions. Due to their artificial nature, Porygon require the aid of human interaction to evolve. After they have access to a code upgrade and a power source, Porygon go through several rounds  of “buffering” until the download is complete.

#233.5 - Porygon2 are endowed with artificial intelligence that enables them to expand past their initial programming and learn new gestures and emotions on their own. These man-made Pokemon have been designed to evolve when additional software is added to their programming; however, strange computer viruses have been observed to cause the phenomenon as well. The Pokemon often acts erratically while processing the changes to its system; reports state that the resulting Pokemon is often unstable.

Named:  Porygon Beta - Porygon - Porygon1.5 - Porygon2 - Porygon X - Porygon-Z

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Follow for more In-Progress Pokemon evolutions!