LEFT SPINNING ON A CAROUSEL,

( it's always betraying her, it seems. both it and her ears, so often drooped or flicked upwards in a tell - tale show when she doesn't seem to even notice it. nora can hardly imagine what it must be like — it seems a nightmare to her, to never truly be able to guarantee privacy. to guarantee that hidden things stay hidden. )

her steps grow quicker, just slightly, before genevieve can outpace her. nora tilts her head, green eyes boring into the side of her partner's head, like they'll draw the gold back in.

she pulls the hood of her cape up over her ears to hide them. well, that, and to keep her hair from getting wet. of course it had to be raining in a godsforsaken place like this.

❝  she never would have picked you. your brain is under lock and key. you'd probably repel her back twenty feet.  ❞ which is easier to say than admitting outright that she was a more susceptible target.

it's also bull, because once again, nora is right: she would have done the same if it was her.

it's an unfamiliar scent — and her fingers curl tighter around the pack of sparkling sequins she's holding when she realizes that that was her first thought ( and how natural it felt to think ) — which means it's either someone she doesn't know, or ... someone she hasn't seen in a while. hasn't seen since. she's not sure what, but something tells her it's the latter, and a cold anxiety begins to wrap its way up her ribs.

the footsteps are clear, now, even through her music, so they must be close by now. for just a minute, she hopes, naively, that it's just someone passing by, that her intuition was wrong — and then the footsteps pause by the entrance, and she knows she wouldn't be that lucky. jem slips her headphones around her neck as the sound of the door creaking open echoes through the room. that's a normal reaction time to have, right? she twists her head around just at the same time as the stranger speaks, and it's ... okay, maybe the last person she could've expected.

❛ ennea? ❜ she says, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice. it feels like months since she's seen her around. now that she thinks about it, it may actually have been. probably her own fault. she tries to relax her posture, tries to look a little less like a spooked cat, with only marginal success.

it was her father that did this to her. since leaving him behind, she's always felt out of place. and then she felt wrong for ever feeling at home with him, given how awful he was. what does that say about her, that she was her daddy's little girl ?

the things that happen in your childhood fuck you up for life, it's as simple as that. but the things that can happen in your adulthood are often just as bad. ennea considers turning and leaving, lifting her skirts like a regency-era lady and running for the hills — but she decides to be brave. with a few small steps, she inches forward, just through the threshold.

❝   then i'll bring you something from the vending machine.  ❞      it's the principle of the thing. maybe even more than that. ennea doesn't feel the need to apologize to jem for anything, but there's still some aimless guilt lingering in the pit of her stomach. it might be the kind of thing an iced tea or pack of goldfish crackers can make up for. ❝   and you can't say no to that. i'll just do it anyway.  ❞    

it's strange, ennea thinks, how it feels like so much and so little time has passed between them. a part of her wants to confess to all that's happened over the past few months, but it's a very small, very weak section of her.

still, junpei's name lingers on her tongue. will jem ask about him like everyone else has ? ennea shuffles forward a few steps more, skirt still suspended just above her ankles to give away the ruffles on the tops of her socks.

( she had tried not to listen, when it had become clear who the shadoe had turned her talisman towards — first out of an attempt to respect genevieve's privacy, and then because ... she can't think about that right now. she just can't. )

but despite the front she's wearing, the one she always puts up, nora can tell she's shaken. so she tries again, voice quieter still, though it rings clear in the late - night silence of the heap nonetheless. ❛ are you. okay. after ... all of that. ❜

even then, though, there are some things that stay hidden . . . to the best of her ability. looking back, her feelings for bat on empyrea were painfully obvious. she didn't need some rogue psychic vigilante to make that clear. but her feelings for nora have been festering much longer. they have taken sharper turns, but remain chalked up to their spiral - famous dynamic, all tension and camaraderie. it's part of the show, until it isn't.

[ . . . and why is it you insist on keeping your feelings for your quest partner under lock and key ? has she not proved that she loves the parts of yourself you think are unlovable ? ]

if she were a worse person, she would have smashed that goddamn talisman on the grayscale ground of the heap. but she's trying to be better as of late. dasein's always watching, of course.

❝  ― why would i not be ?  ❞ she quips, glancing over her shoulder for a split second. ❝  we've gone up against gods. you think i can't handle some moonlighter who's too afraid to show her face ?  ❞

@projectbway event 03: not broadway - waitress at a.r.t.

he hesitates again at her orders, because there is definitely no card reader attached to that thing, and then thinks better of it. instead, junpei does as he's told, watching her warily as he shoves a hand into his pockets to retrieve the card, even if he knows it won't end up needed.

( he doesn't even know how she can be using a number pad right now. just staring at the buttons is making his shoulders tense, and eventually he has to avert his gaze to the ground to calm the sudden racing of his heart. )

he's shaken out of his thoughts by the sudden jangle of her bracelets, like she's moved quickly, and his head snaps up, eyes wide in worry. there doesn't seem to be anything happening around them, so he looks to her instead. the first thing he notices is the tremble of her hands. oh, shit.

❛ hey, hey, ❜ he starts, carefully, one hand reaching for her shoulder as the other moves to rest atop the receiver. ❛ lotus, look at me. ❜ the codename slips too easily off his tongue, and he could kick himself for it. this isn't the time. junpei takes a breath, tilting his head to try to meet her eyes as his hand slowly inches it's way down the phone, fingers curling around the handle to try to ease it out of her hand. the look in her eyes nearly makes him falter, but he takes a breath and shakes his head. ❛ hazuki. i don't think it's going to work. i'm sorry. ❜

she practically tore the place apart looking for her. nona, who remained chipper despite the situation, said the same thing over and over like a record scratching: she's okay, mama. this way. and sure enough, at the end of nona's trail was her sister, wide - eyed and waiting to be found. for years, she wondered how in the world nona had been right. she thinks she knows the answer now.

what kind of mother is she to allow this kind of consistent separation ? why didn't she hold ennea's hand a little tighter ? why didn't she make sure their windows were locked at night ? why the fuck is junpei calling her lotus when —

❝ — my name is hazuki ! don't call me that . . . that is not my name ! ❞ he rights himself so immediately that she almost feels bad. hazuki slowly releases the phone, allowing him to take it as she slumps against the wall of the phonebooth, not even caring about the grime anymore. she furiously wipes at her eyes as she imagines the girls . . . five years old, lost in a crowd. twelve years old, stuffed in body bags. and now, who knows ?

sure he'd noticed her before. in the offhand, half-crude way that everyone did. "howard looks fine as hell today"—yeah, no shit. a real ten out of ten for anyone with eyes and an imagination. but she wasn't, like, a person. not a real one. he thinks maybe they had a class together once. he sat behind her and spent an hour a day watching the back of her head like static on tv. it didn't matter that it was cassie's hair he was staring at. it didn't matter that it was anyone's hair at all.

well, shit happens. parties happen—and late-night, blurry-eyed walks home. mid-tier pizza. and suddenly cassie howard is a person. the person. kind of the only one he thinks about.

' hey, man—you can’t ask me that. a guy never cheers and tells. ' he peels himself off the floor like a sticker, charmed off his ass by the sound of her laugh. ( if the guys could see him now, they'd call him whipped. they'd call cassie cream. ) he's slouching a bit. keeps his back against the lockers and his head cocked loosely to the side.

' hand it over. ' he nods, exactly once, in the direction of the pom-pom she keeps pinned to her heart. his days of shaking kids down for dimes are long gone, but he’s still got the words. the demanding tone that even the toughest correctional officer would admire. jimbo looks awful serious for a second, staring her down. then he cracks into a grin. ' please? '

funny fucking joke, jones. real cheap.

' i’ll be cool. promise. i took, uh, home-ed—don’t ask—and they made me do that fuckass flour baby thing. you know … you get a bag of flour and pretend it’s a baby for a week—dooooon’t ask. anyway. little dude didn’t even spring a leak. ' that wasn’t true at all. he played hackie sack with it within an hour of leaving class, and it exploded on impact. he failed the project—with distinction. ' so, like. you can trust me with the pom-pom. you’ll get it back in a day. a year, tops. '

this could be like, really symbolic to an outsider. cassie howard, handing a little piece of herself, of her identity as a performer, to this boy who didn't try to get her to sleep with him the second they were left alone. oh, what will she offer next ? how long until it's something she can't get back in a day or a year or so ?

like, thank god it's not that deep at all. thank god they're just passing a ball of streamers back and forth in some dingy hallway.

❛   you're silly. ❜ is what she chooses to subconsciously try and disarm him with this time. all that rambling he's done summed up in two simple words, the amused scrunch of her nose the cherry on top. it's extremely hard to match his mock - seriousness . . . and a relief when it falls away. cassie only makes him wait another second or two before placing the pom - pom in his outstretched hand. ❛   i've skipped class before, y'know. maybe i'm a wild child in disguise and the disguise is so good that you don't even know.   ❜

she figures he's talking about doing drugs or something, which . . . not her vice of choice anymore, but definitely not something she's unfamiliar with. and while spray painting the sides of highways is totally foreign to her, she's got pretty good handwriting and could probably come up with a sick tag if she had some time to think about it. spending the next year with him doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world. she's spent a lot longer with people who's company she's enjoyed a lot less.

Happy 2025 here’s briar!! I was always fond of her design and her character so I’m very happy with this labor of love.

❝ a day on the water sounds amaaaaazing ! we should totally —-- wait. when did you get another boat ? ❞      bright enthusiasm shifts to confused suspicion which , in turn , quickly slips into amused disbelief.     ❝ i can't believe mermista actually gave you another one !  what is this , five ? six ? ❞       adora is entirely aware that she has no room to talk with how much destruction of property she has caused ( both as herself and definitely as she-ra ) but shhh this isn't about her.

trust me, i would never forget such a striking face.

why is so hard for you to believe i actually like spending time with you?

care to dance?

it's far too easy to lose oneself with you.

don't think i'm done with you yet, [name].

i imagine it would be quite difficult to focus on anything with you around.

you have quite the reputation. i'm eager to explore it for myself.

it's a pleasure to officially make your acquaintance.

i kinda feel underdressed.

trust me, you look stunning.

as long as you're going to be there, i'm up for anything.

careful there. i might just take you up on that.

are you always this oblivious?

are you always this much of an asshole?

cute. now get out, i've got work to do.

there's no time, all right? there's too much to do.

have i ever failed you before?

i'm serious, [name]. if it gets worse, you come get me.

how delightful. you're back.

you do learn quickly, don't you.

i'll have to find some more challenging lessons for you.

as much as i'm enjoying our conversation, there are a few more things i must attend to.

allow me to show you to your seat.

oh for fuck's sake, what do you want?

you actually care about this, don't you?

can i finish my drink in peace?

look, you'd better rest up if you want to be useful tomorrow.

you can't get rid of me that easily.

you'll probably change your mind once you realize what you signed up for.

i'm fine. you can put me down now.

that was unbelievably careless. what were you trying to do exactly?

just pay more attention.

i suddenly feel awkward and self-conscious.

you've done a decent job the last couple of days.

now you can get back to... whatever it is you do when you're not invading my space.

i already told you. big crowds aren't really my thing.

i do better on my own. trust me. i'll only slow you down.

be honest, you enjoyed yourself so much last time you just couldn't stay away. am i right?

i can't go back to being alone.

i can't lose you.

it's my job to protect you, even from yourself.

just do it before i change my mind.

i'd almost forgotten what this felt like.

so i got watching a ton of new tv shows lately, and it occurred to me that actually i do love it when characters are unexpectedly saved by someone who just happened to be exactly in the right place at precisely the correct moment, yk? and i failed to think of the right name, so the title of this list is entirely thanks to a very dear friend of mine who informed me! so here's a list, i hope you guys love it, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST OR EDIT IT!!! i like to edit them over time as new ideas come to me.

[ ALIBI ]: the sender provides a false alibi to protect the receiver from legal issues.

[ HAND ]: the sender suddenly arrives to grab the receiver's hand before they fall to their death

[ CAR ]: the sender arrives on scene as the impromptu getaway driver for the receiver (who hadn't been expecting it).

[ FATAL ]: the sender unwittingly arrives on scene when the receiver is being attacked, and to protect the receiver, they kill the assailant.

[ DISTRACT ]: the sender provides a diversion so the receiver can escape a dangerous situation.

[ OUT COLD ]: the sender knocks out an assailant before they can seriously wound the receiver.

[ DUNNO ]: the sender lies about the location of the receiver in order to protect them from pursuers.

[ FAKE ]: the sender, in a situation where they're forced to kill the receiver, only pretends to kill the receiver and takes their "dead" body away in the car.

[ SACRIFICE]: the sender sacrifices their life to ensure the receiver's survival.

[ BACK-UP ]: the sender arrives just in time to help the receiver in a fight.

[ EXCUSES ]: the sender provides an excuse for the receiver to stay at an event where they shouldn't be.

[ HIDDEN ]: the sender hides the receiver from pursuers.

[ SHELTER ]: the sender finds the unconscious receiver and brings them to a safe place.

[ HERO ]: the sender tackles the receiver out of the way of an attack.

[ RUN! ]: the sender tackles the attacker so the receiver can make a safe get-away.

[ FIGHT ]: the sender fights off the assailants so the receiver can flee to safety.

[ INTERCEPT ]: the sender unexpectedly emerges and stands between the receiver and a threat.

[ MISDIRECTION ]: the sender points a group of pursuers in the opposite direction to buy the receiver some time to hide.

[ SANCTUARY ]: the sender opens the door when the receiver knocks in search of help, and brings them into their home.

[ REPUTATION ]: the sender, being somewhat infamous in the area, arrives when the receiver is being hassled, causing the assailants to flee rather than risk the consequences of crossing them.

[ RECOGNIZE ]: the sender pretends to know the receiver in order to help them avoid unwanted attention.

[ AFAR ]: the sender incapacitates, distracts or kills an assailant from a distance to protect the receiver.

[ FRIENDS ]: the sender, unable to attend directly, sends friends over to protect the receiver when they encounter a threat.

[ NEGOTIATE ]: the sender intervenes in a tense situation and manages to smoothly persuade a potential threat to leave the receiver alone.

[ BRIBE ]: the sender gives a threat a significant amount of money to leave the receiver alone.

[ ANNOUNCE ]: the sender issues a declaration that the receiver is under their protection, assuring all potential attackers that any attempts will result in a brutal retaliation from them.

VERBAL PROMPTS:

" they're with me. "

" i was with them all night. "

" hey! these guys bothering you? "

" i wouldn't do that if i were you. "

" you must've really pissed those guys off, huh? "

" follow my lead... "

" don't worry. you're safe here. i won't let anyone hurt you. "

" you're lucky i found you when i did; those people were right down the street. "

" get in the car! now! "

" i'm gonna buy you as much time as i possibly can. make it count, okay? get out of here. now! "

" you can come out now. they're long gone. "

jimbo jones was a mutt, and he was newly loyal to cassie howard. they went on a midnight walk and he forgot to slip the leash when they parted ways. now they’re linked—on, like, a subliminal level. it’s really not his fault that he’s here. there’s nowhere else for him to be.

[ sit. stay. ] she never said any of that shit to him. she didn’t even tell him where to find her. she didn’t have to. that’s why he’s doing it—the finding, the sitting, and the staying.

' hey, howie. ' jimbo beams up at her, his smile as crooked as the slump of his posture against the locker wall. he blinks, half-lidded, through the wool of his hangover. haloed by tapering fluorescent lights, cassie looks like an angel floating on pom-pom clouds. she doesn’t look like a fucked up space-duck at all.

he wonders if he should tell her that—and then doesn’t.

' yeah, well. gotta be. you know they can arrest you for skipping? they call it triomancy. ' they don’t. nobody does. it’s called truancy—and the guidance counsellor had exclaimed the word no less than three times, always in conjunction with standard-fare threats like police, court, and juvie. it wasn’t very convincing, and the man knew it; eventually he started waving his arms while he talked, just to prove a point. it gave him the appearance of an angry conductor standing at the head of a choir of hopeless children. it also made him seem hopeless himself.

it's the same old trademarked cassie howard pattern, the one she's grown very well aware of since mckay and . . . other things. she begins to drape herself over every detail of him. his hair, voluminous and curly, resembles that of a lion's mane . . . even when tucked under that ever - crooked beanie. his freckles dance from one cheek to another, using the bridge of his nose as just that. his socks are always blindingly bright, but difficult to catch a glimpse of due to the length of his jeans, so it feels like some kind of special occasion when you do. and he looks at her like that. like he sees her.

and if the cycle were to repeat, she would fall helplessly in love with him. but cassie howard made a promise to herself. cassie howard doesn't fall in love anymore. [ not even with sunshine - smiling delinquents. ]

❛   okay, we're gonna work on the nickname. ❜ that's okay. she needs a new one for him, too. jimbo doesn't really roll off her tongue all that well. ❛   but, yeah, it's fine. i really only joined 'cause my mom said i should, and then maddy was trying out too, so . . .   ❜ she shrugs, pressing her lips together as she does so. fuck cheer — he should see her skate ! ❛   we just crammed in an extra practice.   ❜

cassie presses her lips together even tighter when he swats at her side. [ lions are just big cats, aren't they ? ] she shakes the pom - pom he's gunning for ever - so - slightly in response. they technically aren't hers to keep, even if she does take them home every night. and they cost like, way too much for high school cheer. the fine for being one short will probably be just as much, if not more. still, cassie can't totally deny his request . . . mostly because it's just so stupid cute. and kind of totally ridiculous.