Sirius Orion Black

“As I always say, unless you grown a goatee you won’t look even remotely similar to old Burga there, so I don’t know why you get so hung up on it.’ He pointed out from over the pint that someone other than his best friend had served him, because of course the one time James actually had the time to pop into the Green Dragon his mate was out on some business. ‘A beard might work though, but only in a dark lit room.’ 

Despite his joking words he had immediately caught out to the fact that Walburga Black should not be anywhere near Sirius’ workplace (and preferably her biological child) and that her appearance there meant trouble. Was she there to purposefully torment Pads? Well, James wouldn’t put it past her. He had heard too much about her personality and been privy to too many disturbing situation. ‘I can hex her for you, but you’ll come to dinner this week, Padsy.’

✰

“As the better looking one of the family, I take offense to that,” Sirius admitted with a chuckle. “She can be the one to grow a beard.” Making light of the situation certainly helped but there was no hiding his uncertainty toward the near run-in with his mother. Not from James of all people anyway— they knew each other all too well at this point to try hiding his worries.

“Seems like a fair exchange,” He nodded after a moment of silence. “Should I bring something for Prongslett or?” There was another brief pause then he arched a brow. “Is he still too young for Quidditch?”

It had already been an eventful day since Sirius having properly gave his notice toward leaving the job at the bar and having thrown a few applications in the Ministry and Gringotts’ direction. Only made more eventful at having nearly collided with his mother upon returning from the brief break he took.

Ignoring owls certainly wasn’t the best approach to handling the situation but Walburga was hardly worth his time. Not after what happened with his brother and having been properly kicked out of the family. The woman meant nothing to him and he had hoped not saying a word would be enough to get the point across. It clearly hadn’t so he was left averting his gaze and practically diving right back into work, heart pounding in his ears as he took a moment to catch his breath behind the bar. She had yet to cross the threshold into the bar - something he should have been grateful for - but he had a feeling that little bit of distance could only be maintained for a while longer.

“I’m fine,” He said dismissively and shook his head, still feeling the eyes of a few of he patrons on him. “Perfectly fine. Just willing to give five galleons to whoever feels up to hexing the haggard woman I have the unfortunate luck of looking like next time she shows her face around here. Ten if you toss in a stinging jinx.”

If Emmeline would’ve put two and two together, she would’ve connected the dots, but the truth was that she was more concerned about Sirius and their relationship and how would this affect them. Or whatever it was that they had. “You became an animagus at school? Are you fucking kidding me?” She asked, widening her eyes, visibly impressed. “That’s really advanced magic” she murmured.

Emmeline looked at him when he took her hand and sighed as she leaned against him. It was magnetic, her body reacted instinctively when he was around. “Yes we have” she acknowledged it as well, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay” she said softly. “I understand” it was hard to talk about these things. Emmeline rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “I… I like you, Sirius” she spoke quietly, opening her eyes and looking at the floor. “I really like you” she then added. “And we don’t have to… I don’t know, label it or whatever, but I do want you to know that” she told him. She then looked up at him and ran her fingers through his hair. “Okay?” She smiled slightly.

✰

“All things considered, my parents would have prided in my mastering two out of three unforgivables before I got to Hogwarts,” He mumbled. “That was just me putting their years of tutoring to use for my own gain instead of doing something they would have wanted.”

It was one of the rare times in his life where he felt safe — at home even — in the presence of another person. A feeling that he had only ever really felt among the Marauders and Andromeda’s family. The risk of taking the next step of defining things was downright terrifying but there was no denying that he could vehemently agree with what Emmeline said. Sirius remained silent for a moment, looking for the right way to phrase everything that was going through his mind. “I wouldn’t mind calling you my girlfriend,” He admitted and threw a sideways glance in her direction. “Could have said that a few weeks ago…”

-

Watching students grow into themselves provided an irreplaceable insight into discovering their coping mechanisms for times of stress; Minerva recalled that Mr. Black never seemed to work harder in her class (or any class for that matter) then when under moments of external stress. With no classes to occupy him, work was the next thing.

“I was raised in Scotland, Mr. Black,” she said, placing the glass down, “If I couldn’t handle my drink I’d be falling over on my way home from every funeral or birthday.” While cliche dictated with Irish were the masters of the drink, Scots weren’t far behind. “And there was little guess-work involved, in the face of tension you seek distraction, a very natural response though not a particularly helpful one.” she said, as always straight to the point.

“I do happen to exist outside of the walls of Hogwarts, Mr. Black,” she said, raising an eyebrow, “And since I believe getting through this conversation will take some time and considering cajoling on my part, you may as well pour me another and take your break for the shift,” Minerva told him, her tone leaving no room for argument not backchat; as with James, this conversation would happen.  

✰

He always felt at his best when busy. It certainly wasn’t best way of managing things since it usually prolonged dealing with whatever was bothering him, but it was that or being left to his own devices at his flat.  The latter option usually ended up being disastrous so the extra shifts were the next best option.

“At least I’m not drinking at home,” He grumbled. Not that being at work had stopped him from stealing a few drinks for himself, but someplace public was better than trying to bottle everything up at his flat. “I’m aware, Professor,” He could have tried calling her Minerva but using her name didn’t feel right even though she was no longer teaching him. An old habit, but anything besides that (or the occasional ‘mum’ that slipped out while under her watch) seemed wrong. Sirius opened then promptly shut his mouth, opting to nod since he knew better than to argue. 

Sirius excused himself for a moment to let the other bartender know he was going to take his break, returning with another drink for Minerva and a particularly sheepish expression. “Might as well get it over with,” He sighed. It didn’t guarantee he would open up immediately, but he was ready to at least listen.

“No man, in the history of this floating rock, has ever known what the hell he is doing. Hate to tell you but, you’ll never really know,” he shrugs again. A history of dating littered with bad choices and one particularly vengeful ex who still enjoyed slandering him in the daily prophet, was proof enough Alastor was capable of failing at something. His gives Sirius’ shoulder a supportive squeeze, “do your best to listen to what she needs. Particularly the things she doesn’t say out loud. Just do your best. I’ll tell you one thing about Em, she likes to win but she’s gotta work for it. It can’t be too easy. She’s smart but she’s been hurt by the people who were supposed to take care of her. Something you understand so don’t let her push you away. That’s when she’ll need you the most.” 

✰

Sirius merely makes a face at Alastor’s words, knowing he had a point on the matter. His expression becomes more serious once Alastor continues and he nods in response. It was certainly something he could relate to all too well — more specifically, the pushing people away part of things. He had yet to fully witness her do so but there was no denying it was a shared habit of theirs. Sirius just happened to be working on letting moments of vulnerability show and being okay with it. “I don’t plan to,” He murmurs. “Wouldn’t dream of it come to think of it.”

Andromeda fixed Sirius’ collar, making it up and taking the tie off the ensemble, “There, you look more like yourself.” she admitted with a smile, “I like stars, I’m a whole galaxy of them.” she winked at him, taking his glass and taking a sip of it before returning it to him.

“I saw Em around, she looks lovely. I do hope that is who you are matching with, because if it’s Lucius I will lose it.” she joked wrapping and arm around his.

✰

“Thank you,” He couldn’t help but chuckle. Ties were always something he considered particularly stuffy. It had taken an unreasonable amount of time to get used to wearing clothes that had even the slightest semblance toward what his parents used to force him to wear.

“Oh no,” Sirius shook his head. “I’m here purely to outdo the French bastard.” Try as he did to hold it back, the chuckle escaped and he was back to looking across the gala toward where Emmeline was. “She looks magnificent. I still don’t know how I let her convince me to do this.”

Sirius absentmindedly played with the hem of his blazer while he looked over the crowd. Dressing up hadn’t ever been a favorite thing of his. In fact, it had been the cause of several arguments while growing up since he had never really liked any of the outfits his mother forced him into wearing. “Surely I can wear stars without it being a nod toward the family that disowned me,” He sighed then reached for a glass at random. “Or would opting for blue instead of red had made it more obvious I showed up with a date?”

“Can I have this dance?” The words slipped out all too smoothly as Sirius extended his right arm toward Emmeline. With a slower song having come on and her looking as gorgeous as she did, it would have been a shame to not take the chance while they had it. “You look extra beautiful tonight.”

He thinks fondly of his tobacco pipe at home. Of emptying it’s ashes and repacking it before setting about to finish building the hot tub he had started weeks ago; so close and yet so far from being done. He thinks of Clara, tucked away safely in her apartment, reading old books and dreaming up some new ridiculous demand of their courtship. He hadn’t the foggiest idea what traditional elite Pure-blood customs of dating entailed; that aspect of his life was very deeply buried under piles of Thestral droppings and sheep’s wool. Sirius seemed to lack the same education. His gaze drifts from the stars back to the young man, “so it’s like that? Well keep it in your pants, it ain’t mating season… and don’t let her read any romance books or you’ll end up walking around in dress robes like a clown and you won’t even care if other people laugh at you because she’ll be pretty and you’ll be stupid for her and nothing else but the moon will matter.”

✦ He hadn’t the slightest clue toward what he was doing in regards to a more serious relationship. Years spent sticking to one night stands and hardly sticking with someone more than a few times left him all too nervous in whatever the next step in things was. Sirius certainly wouldn’t complain about the shift since it was a welcomed change but it still left far too much room for second guessing. “Yeah a little late for that warning,” He chuckles nervously. “But I’ll make note of it. I-“ There is a brief moment where he shifts his gaze down to the sidewalk, teeth digging into his lower lip while he tried to find the words he was looking for. “I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Emmeline just stared at him as Morrison began to demand Sirius’ attention. “I… why haven’t you told me earlier?” She asked, still too stunned. “And you are not on the registry, are you? Because I’ve been through it the other day for a case and I would’ve noticed your name in it” she said knowingly as she bent down to pick the collar.

It was illegal and now she sort of was his accomplice… well, maybe that was being dramatic, but Emmeline was an Auror, so she now was in an awkward position. She looked at him and sighed. “It is very impressive, though… for how long have you been an animagus? And who else knows?” She then asked as she moved to take a seat, her eyes on him. “Maybe it was a sign… I mean, a sign that it was time you told me about it” she then added before making an awkward pause. “I mean… we have been— nothing, forget it…”

✰

He didn’t know what to say, opting to use the dog as a distraction while he tried to find a way of phrasing what was running through his mind. “No,” The word was accompanied by a shake of his head when her answered her second question. He spent a moment petting Morrison before shifting his attention back to her. “I can’t answer either of those since it’s…” He didn’t even know what to say past knowing both answers to her questions would leave room to assume the others had done something similar. “It’s… Back in school but I’m not saying more than that.”

He felt bad for avoiding the subject but there wasn’t much else to say unless he wanted to risk James and Peter’s secrets as well. A steadying breath was needed before he shifted to sit beside Emmeline. Sirius threw a sideways glance in her direction then took hold of her hand, thumb brushing over the back of it before he spoke again. “Because we’ve been dating,” He finished the sentence for her. Sirius dug his teeth into his lower lip, downright terrified of the direction the conversation had taken. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t— didn’t do…” He trailed off and squeezed her hand. “I was afraid you’d... I’m sorry.”