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Your fingers trembled slightly as you clutched the phone tighter, your voice cracking with the weight of endless lectures and sleepless nights.
Finals were coming around the corner and you couldn’t have been more work crazy.
"I can't do this anymore, Jungwon," you said, pacing the cramped dorm room where scattered papers littered the floor and the air hung heavy with the bitter scent of burnt coffee.
You and Jungwon have been best friends for years. He would always be someone you could count on for anything, especially when you’re stressing about finals week.
The moonlight filtered weakly through half drawn blinds, casting long shadows over your unmade bed and the desk overflowing with highlighted textbooks while the lamp outshines the light.
Your shoulders ached from hunching over notes all day, and a dull throb pulsed behind your eyes, the stress coiling tight in your chest like a fist. Jungwon's voice came through steady and warm on the other end, promising he'd be right over with materials to help.
“Don’t fret, I’m coming”
The knock came minutes later, and you swung the door open to find him standing there, backpack slung over one shoulder and a reassuring smile softening his sharp features. Jungwon stepped inside, his lean frame filling the space with an easy confidence, dark hair slightly tousled from the wind outside partially covering his glasses.
"Let me help you study," he offered, setting his bag down and pulling out stacks of notes and thick volumes on advanced calculus and psychology theories. You both cleared a spot on the cluttered desk together, arranging everything in neat piles under the glow of your desk lamp, the pages crisp and promising under their hands. You watched him gratefully while organizing the materials.
Jungwon was hot of course, but you would never act on it, you never thought he would feel the same way. He practically acted like this with all his girls.
You sank into your chair with a heavy sigh, rubbing your temples as the tension from the day pressed down harder. "I've been stressed all day, Jungwon exams looming, no sleep, and this constant knot in my fucking stomach that won't let up,"
you admitted, your voice laced with frustration and vulnerability. “Like it’s genuinely over for me if I don’t pass this semester.
The room felt smaller now as you both focused on studying. Everyone once and a while you would find his caring gaze on you. Time and time again as he suggested they start with the basics. Jungwon leaned closer, his proximity offering support that cut through your exhaustion, his hand resting lightly on your arm as he suggested they what you should start off with.
His touch was nothing new to you, he was always touching.
Jungwon’s fingers lingered on your arm, warm and steady, before he pulled back just enough to flip open the first textbook with a soft rustle of pages. “first, limits and derivatives. We’ll tackle one problem at a time,” he said, his voice low and encouraging, though the faint smirk tugging at his lips hinted at something more.
You nodded, trying to focus on the equations blurring before your eyes, but the knot in your stomach only tightened, your breath hitching every time anxiety spiked.
Everytime you got near him it’s like your sexual fantasies came to life in your head. Since Uni started it’s like Jungwon got this huge glow up and matured in every way possible. You were never able to keep your eyes off of him.
His knee brushed yours under the desk, a casual touch that sent an unexpected spark up your thigh, and you shifted in your chair, acutely aware of the heat radiating from his body so close to yours.
After a few failed attempts at reviewing the material your pen hovering uselessly over the page, mind racing with exam panic, Jungwon set his own notes aside and leaned in again, his dark eyes locking onto yours with that teasing glint. “This isn’t working, is it? You’re wound so tight you can barely breathe.”
He paused, fingers tracing a slow circle on the back of your hand. “I’ve got an idea for a better way to unwind. Something... physical. Just between us.” The suggestion hung in the air, charged and unexpected, making your pulse quicken as playful banter slipped out naturally. “What, like wrestling the stress out of me?” you quipped, voice breathy, but knowing what he meant deep down. This was your deepest fantasy but you wouldn’t ruin your relationship with him over a casual hookup.
His responding chuckle deepened, turning suggestive as he murmured, “More like making you forget everything else until you’re moaning my name instead of worrying about grades.”
Your cheeks flushed at the shift, the room’s dim lamplight casting shadows that seemed to draw you closer, and anxiety’s grip loosened just enough for curiosity to bloom “Wait what,” you ask
Jungwon’s hand slid higher, brushing the curve of your waist as he stood and gently pulled you up from the chair, his body pressing near enough that you felt the solid line of him through his jeans. “Let me help you release it properly,” he whispered against your ear, lips grazing the sensitive skin there, his assertive tone laced with care.
The textbooks lay forgotten as tension crackled between you, his touch igniting a different kind of heat low in your belly, promising relief far beyond any study session.
You shook your head, pulse hammering against your ribs as the suggestion settled between you like a live wire. “Jungwon, we’re friends. Best friends. We can’t just… cross that line because I’m freaking out over exams.” Shutting him down immediately knowing deep down this is what you wanted.
The words tumbled out shaky, your hands fidgeting with the hem of your shirt while your body betrayed you by leaning infinitesimally closer. He pulled back at once, giving you space, his expression softening with that familiar care even as his eyes stayed dark with heat.
“Okay,” he murmured, voice low and even, though the corner of his mouth curved in that teasing lilt you knew too well. “If that’s what you want. I’ll sit right here and we’ll stare at derivatives until your brain melts. But you’re flushed all the way down your neck, Y/N, and your thighs are pressed so tight I can see the tension. Tell me you don’t feel it too.”
He stayed true to his word at first, easing his chair an inch away, yet his fingers trailed lightly along the edge of the desk, brushing the outside of your knee in passing ,accidental, yet deliberate enough to spark another rush of warmth low in your belly. “Friends comfort each other,” he added, tone playful now, the dominant edge threading through the tease. “And right now your body’s screaming for something better than panic. Imagine my hands instead of these notes, sliding up your thighs, spreading you open on this desk so I can taste how wet you already are for me. No pressure, though. We can pretend I never said it.” Your breath caught, the denial cracking under the vivid picture his words painted; the knot in your stomach loosened into something molten, curiosity and need tangling until the word “stop” refused to form.
“I just don’t want anything to change between us” You say trembling under his touch. “Nothing has to. I just want to make you feel better, we can go back to normal I swear” He says
The silence stretched, thick with the scent of old paper and his warm cologne, until your hand reached out on its own, catching his wrist and tugging him back into your space. “Fine,” you whispered, voice husky with the surrender, “just… help me forget.”
Jungwon’s smile turned predatory yet tender as he rose, pulling you up with him so your bodies aligned, his palm cupping the swell of your breast through your thin top, thumb circling your nipple until it peaked. He guided you back against the desk, papers scattering as he stepped between your legs, one hand already working the button of your jeans open while his mouth claimed yours in a slow, claiming kiss that tasted like relief. “That’s it,” he breathed against your lips, fingers dipping beneath the fabric to stroke the damp heat of your folds circling your clit with deliberate pressure. “Let me take care of you.”
His words sent a shiver racing down your spine as his fingers slipped deeper between your folds, stroking the slick heat of your pussy with slow, deliberate circles that made your hips twitch forward instinctively. “God, you’re dripping all over my hand already, tell me how bad you need this,” Jungwon growled against your lips, his voice thick with raw emotion and lust.
You gasped against his mouth, the kiss turning hungry and wet as his tongue slid against yours, tasting the lingering bitterness of coffee and the sharp edge of your need, tears pricking your eyes from the overwhelming mix of love and desire surging between you. “Fuck, Jungwon, I need you so deep inside me, ruin me, please,” you moaned brokenly, the confession spilling out like a desperate plea that bonded your hearts even tighter in this forbidden moment.
“Look at you,” he chuckles “speaking all dirty for me.”
Jungwon’s free hand tugged your top upward, exposing the soft swell of your breasts, and he palmed one fully, taking the other one in his mouth, rolling over the stiffened nipple while his other fingers dipped lower to press inside you, two thick digits curling just right against that sensitive spot that had your knees buckling.
The desk creaked under your weight as he eased you back further, scattering more papers, his body crowding between your thighs so you could feel the hard ridge of his cock straining against his jeans, pressing insistently against your inner thigh. “Look at you, so fucking wet and desperate for your best friend’s cock. Say it, baby, tell me you want me to fuck this tight little pussy until you forget everything but us,” he demanded hoarsely, eyes shining with fierce tenderness and hunger.
“Fuck, how can you be so wet for me,” he murmured, “Is this what you wanted all these years? Huh?” he murmured, voice rough with approval, lips trailing down your neck to suck a mark just above your collarbone.
He withdrew his fingers only to yank your jeans and panties down in one impatient tug, dropping to his knees right there in the dim lamplight. The sight of him looking up at you with dark, caring eyes sent fresh arousal pooling between your legs; he spread you open with gentle hands on your thighs, then leaned in to drag his tongue flat over your clit in a long, savoring lick that made your head fall back.
“This pussy tastes so sweet, gonna make you scream my name while I eat you out, my love,” he rasped between licks, voice cracking with emotion. Jungwon ate you out with focused intensity, sucking the swollen bud between his lips, tongue flicking rapidly while two fingers pumped steadily into your clenching pussy, the wet sounds filling the room alongside your broken moans. “Oh god, yes, right there wonnie fuck me with your tongue, Jungwon, I’m yours forever,”
He chuckles at the way you’re falling apart right in front of him.
you cried out, hips bucking wildly as pleasure and love intertwined in a storm of feeling. Pleasure coiled tight and hot in your belly, chasing away every trace of exam anxiety, your hands fisting in his hair as you rocked against his face, thighs trembling around his shoulders, sobs of ecstasy mixing with declarations of devotion.
He rose again after you came once, lips shiny and eyes gleaming, quickly shucking off his own clothes to reveal the lean, toned lines of his body and the thick, flushed length of his cock curving upward. “Watch me fill you up, baby, gonna pound this dripping cunt until you’re shaking and begging for more,” he whispered emotionally, voice laced with dirty promises that made your heart race.
Jungwon gripped your hips and thrust into you in one smooth glide, filling you completely with a shared groan that echoed the deep emotional pull between you—best friends crossing into something raw and perfect. “Yes, fuck, your cock feels so good stretching me, harder, Jungwon, claim me,” you sobbed, tears of overwhelming love and pleasure streaming down your cheeks. He set a steady, powerful rhythm, each snap of his hips grinding against your clit while he murmured encouragements “That’s it, let go for me, I’ve got you”
his hands roaming your breasts and waist with possessive tenderness, interspersed with filthy whispers “Take every inch like the perfect slut for me, my everything.”
The second orgasm built fast and sharp, your walls fluttering around him as he angled deeper, hitting that spot over and over until you shattered again, crying out his name. “Come on my cock, baby milk me while I tell you how much I love this tight pussy,” he urged, thrusts growing erratic with passion.
He followed soon after, burying himself to the hilt with a low curse, pulsing hot inside you as he held you close through the aftershocks, both of you breathing hard amid the scattered notes and forgotten textbooks, hearts pounding in unison as whispered
“Relieved now?” He laughs breathlessly “mhm” you manage to get out.
“still friends” you both reassure each other at the same time, but no one really believed that, did they?
ꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄꨄ
🫧: hi guys this is something i wrote in like an hour tbh it isn’t that good but I just felt like blessing with a post.. a little different from what I usually post but it’s ok🤗 hope you enjoy
Hi guysss I’m out of my writing block period sooooo i’m going to try and spam write as much as I can but lowk don’t know what to write ab.. Some of you could drop some suggestions that would be great tysm🤗
ps: it’s my birthday so consider this post a gift from me to you so we all can celebrate!
Seven months.
That was the amount of time you hadn’t spoken to Heeseung. That was the exact amount of time it took for the internet’s collective amnesia to kick in, for the death threats in your request folders to morph into praise, and for KATSEYE’s charts to skyrocket into the stratosphere, you guys were bigger than ever.
Paris Fashion Week had been a so much fun with the amazing outfits and the amazing people, the rumors about the Met Gala invitation were turning from whispered industry gossip into concrete email threads in your manager’s inbox, and the group was, by all definition, thriving. You were surviving. More than surviving, but even more you were flawless.
Tonight, sitting in the back of a blacked out van exhausted from promotion of your latest comeback. Silence cutting through the soaked rain of Seoul after a late night recording session and rehearsal, the silence inside your custom brand partner ship noise canceling headphones felt heavy. It felt like water filling up a room.
Your thumb hovered over your phone screen. The screen was blank, but the ghost of a notification from three days ago seemed burned into the liquid crystal display.
Just saw the new teaser. You look beautiful.
Y/N. Please tell me you’re eating well.
You didn’t reply. You hadn’t replied in two hundred and ten days.
Cutting it off with Heeseung definitely helped with all the pain and guilt that came with the relationship.
Truth is you didn’t completely avoid him. You still saw him at award shows and brand events. The most recent view of him was at the Prada fashion show since both enhypen and katseye were ambassadors.
Every time you guys would find yourself in the same room, you would try your best to avoid eye contact. Looking at him would mean all the feelings would come flooding back into your memory only leaving you more hurt than you were.
But that wasn’t the case for him. Anytime time he could he would stare daggers into you. Like you were the only person in the room hoping he would get a look back but never did. You would feel it though every time. It’s kind of hard to avoid the feeling of a cold stare especially when you know that cold stare really well.
Your heart still beats for him for sure, but the hate just got better and you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted in life at this point. Getting back with him would change that.
Heeseung loved hard, but he loved like a drowning man, clutching at you so tightly that both of you were dragged beneath the surface.
His texts back then had been a barrage of hyper fixated checking in, fueled by the toxic idol culture that dictated you couldn't be seen within ten feet of another male artist without a scandal breaking the internet. Every time the rumor would randomly spark back up, he retreated into a shell of dark, quiet paranoia, knowing that it would cause you more pain and that was the last thing he wanted.
"We would never be able to work out," you had texted while he was in that cramped, rented apartment basement he used for late-night producing. The air had smelled like old coffee and damp carpet. "I cannot physically put myself through that again” you sent the other text.
He had looked at them with those wide, bloodshot eyes, his fingers dug so deep into his own palms they left crescent marks. "Don’t say that," he replied his hands trembling . "Y/N, please. Don’t say that"
But he couldn't change the world. And you couldn't keep breaking your own bones just to fit into his pocket. So, you left.
Now, the van finally came to a halt outside the complex you shared with the girls. Your phone buzzed in your palm, not a text, just a calendar alert for tomorrow's early morning choreography rehearsal.
Stepping out into the cool Seoul air, the rain pricked your skin. You pulled your baseball cap down lower. Inside the apartment, the living room was quiet, the other girls already asleep after their own grueling schedules. You walked past the mirrors lining the hallway, then find your way to your room for the time being.
You sat on the edge of your bed, the city lights reflecting off the ceiling like water ripples. You pulled up his contact info. You hadn't blocked him, you couldn't bring yourself to do it, a final, pathetic weakness you hated yourself for.
The chat history was a monologue of regret.
(2 weeks ago): I passed by the old convenience store today. They still have those specific peach drinks you liked. I bought two without thinking. I’m sorry.
(1 month ago): The noise doesn’t stop. The only time it was quiet was when I was next to you. I’m so sorry for how I acted. I was terrified of losing you, and I ended up driving the knife in myself.
Your chest tightened, a familiar, dull ache radiating beneath your ribs. You remembered the way his hands used to shake when he was tired, the way he would press his forehead against your shoulder and just breathe you in like you were his only anchor to reality. He was a brilliant, tragic boy trapped in a machine that didn't care about his soul, and you had been his only sanctuary, it was really good, but when it was bad it was really bad.
Memory flood when you think about the times he would call you drunk in another girls bed, or when you couldn’t go to rehearsal dressed a certain way even though you were just around girls, and even when he punched your best friend in the face for being near you which didn’t happen too long ago.
But at this point you couldn't be a savior anymore. You had to save yourself first.
You locked the phone, tossing it onto the mattress, and pulled the covers over your head, trying to drown out the memory of his voice chanting your name like a prayer in the dark.
heeseung pov
The practice room lights were too bright. They always were. They caught every bead of sweat, every mistimed step, every jagged edge of his reflection in the floor-to-ceiling mirrors.
Heeseung sat against the back wall, his knees pulled to his chest, a half-empty bottle of electrolyte drink rolling between his sneakers. Around him, the rest of ENHYPEN was winding down, laughing quietly, gathering their gear to head back to the dorms.
He felt entirely, utterly hollow. Like an empty shell that someone had scrubbed raw.
Seven months without her. Seven months of watching her face on billboards in Times Square, on the screens of luxury boutiques in Gangnam, on every major music chart across the globe. She was magnificent. She was soaring. And every single time he saw her smile in an interview, a cold, heavy stone settled deeper into his stomach: She is happier without you.
He pulled out his phone. His fingers moved on instinct, opening their chat. A sea of blue bubbles on his side, an unreadable wall of silence on hers. He knew he was being pathetic. He knew his texts bordered on harassment, but the desperation inside him was a living, breathing thing that clawed at his throat until he let it out through his thumbs.
I’m losing my mind, Y/N. I don’t care about the music anymore if I can't share it with you. Please just send a single dot. Just let me know you’re alive.
He didn't send it. He erased it, character by character, his chest heaving with a silent, ragged breath. He settled for something simpler, something that wouldn't make him look entirely unhinged, even though he was.
It’s raining here. I hope you’re staying warm.
The dorm was silent by 3:00 AM. Practice had finally finished after ages and Heeseung couldn't sleep; his mind was a hyperactive loop of every cruel word he’d ever said to her, every time his own anxiety had turned into an interrogation, every time he had made his own pressure her problem to bear. He had been toxic. He saw it now with a terrifying, crystal-clear clarity. He had been so consumed by the fear of losing her to the industry that he had suffocated the very life out of her.
He walked out to the small balcony, the cold rain misting over his face.
"You're going to catch a cold, Hyung."
Heeseung didn't turn around. He knew the voice. Jake stood in the doorway, a dark hoodie pulled over his messy hair, holding two mugs of warm tea.
He walked over, leaning his forearms against the railing next to Heeseung.
"You're thinking about her again,aren’t you?" Jake stated, not unkindly. It wasn't a question. Everyone in the group knew. They had watched Heeseung turn into a ghost over the past half-year, his weight dropping, his eyes constantly fixed on a horizon no one else could see. Even the fans noticed.
"I can't breathe here, Jake," Heeseung said, his voice barely a whisper against the wind. His fingers gripped the stone railing until his knuckles turned white. "Every song we sing, every stage we do... it just feels like a reminder of what we both traded away to get here. I traded her and she traded
me.”
Jake sighed, a heavy, sympathetic sound. "You didn't trade her, Heeseung. The situation was impossible. You both were breaking."
"I broke her," Heeseung corrected fiercely, a sudden, raw spike of emotion cutting through his usual lethargy. He turned to Jake, his eyes wide and burning with a terrifying, desperate light. "I’m thinking about leaving."
The silence that followed was deafening. Jake froze, his mug halfway to his mouth. "What did you just say?"
"I’m thinking about leaving the group. Leaving the company. Giving it up." Heeseung’s voice didn't waver now; it was steady with the terrifying calm of a man who had already reached the end of his rope.
"If I’m not an idol, there’s no scandal. There are no cameras following me. No fans threatening her life. I can just go to her. I can knock on her door as a nobody, throw myself at her feet, and beg her to let me just be near her. I don't need the fame, Jake. I need her."
Jake grabbed Heeseung’s shoulder, his grip tight, almost painful. "Are you out of your mind? Heeseung, look at me. You've given your entire life to this. The group needs you. You love the music—"
"I love her more," Heeseung interrupted,
a single tear finally cutting through the grime of sweat and rain on his cheek. His voice cracked, dropping into a deep, groveling plea directed not just at Jake, but at the universe. "I would crawl through broken glass just to hear her say my name without fear in her voice again. I’ll give it all away, Jake. I swear to God, I’ll give it all away if it means she’ll let me love her the right way this time."
Jake looked at his friend, seeing the absolute ruin of a man who had everything the world wanted, but nothing of what he actually needed. He didn't have an answer. He could only hold onto his shoulder as Heeseung buried his face in his hands, finally breaking apart in the quiet, unforgiving dark.
hihi guys first writer chapter..? i think anyway. um excuse my writing i tried my best to get this out here so if it looks shitty, don’t mind. Also pkg my team got disqualified from the world cup today🙄 but i guess that’s fine we made history today anyway. rooting for france from here on out🤗 ok guys bye bye i’m going to celebrate now!
holy shittt two post in one day..🤗🤗 i might post again today lowk it is 3 am where im at so once i get some rest another chapter should be out also if you’re ready my other smau about jake don’t worry i will show it some love in a couple days🙃 um i may add a few more chapters too idk tho i don’t have anything planned i js go with the flow so i will let you guys know ofc!!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
wowww post back to back crazy crazy!! also thank you so fucking much for 100 followers holy shit i didn’t think this story would get so much attention but i’m extremely grateful!
um hi guys i didn’t know that my grammar was so shit in my writing from yesterday i’m sorry like i couldn’t even tell you what most of them say so once again sorry
The moment the reality finally sinks in, you break.
You sit on the edge of your bed with Charlotte’s text still open on your phone, tears streaming down your face so fast you can barely see the screen anymore. Your chest aches from trying to hold everything in. The anger. The humiliation. The fear.
An temporary hiatus.
One stupid meeting had cost you everything. It was only temporary sure but this was your everything.
You bury your face in your hands, but it doesn’t help. The sob that escapes your throat is loud enough that even you hear it through the ringing in your ears.
A few seconds later, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.
“Y/N?” You don’t answer, another knock.
“Y/N, are you okay?”
The concern in the voice only makes you cry harder.The door slowly opens.
The first thing you see is Lara’s worried expression. Behind her are the rest of the members, all looking like they’ve just been woken up.
The second they see your face, every trace of sleep disappears.“Oh my God.”
Sophia rushes forward immediately and sits beside you on the bed. While Manon crawls in too.
“What happened?”
You can’t even speak. You simply hand her your phone.
The room grows silent as she reads the messages.
Then her eyes widen. “What the hell?”
The others gather around.
One by one, they read Charlotte’s text.
The reactions are immediate.
“Are they serious?”
“A hiatus?”
“Over one meeting?”
“They can’t do that.”
But everyone knows they can , and they did.
You wipe at your face angrily.
“They already made the decision. I have a meeting in a couple weeks to decide how to move forward i guess.”
Nobody knows what to say after that.
For a moment, the room is filled with nothing but silence and the occasional sniffle from you.
Then Megan wraps an arm around your shoulders.
“It’s going to be okay.” You immediately shake your head.
“No, it’s not.” Your voice cracks. “My career is basically over.”
“No it isn’t,” Daniela says firmly.
“It feels like it is. The second they make that announcement on Weverse everyone’s gonna know why.”
You stare down at your lap.
The tears have slowed, but the anger remains.
It’s growing stronger with every second and eventually it boils over. Your mind traces back to what Charlotte said earlier about Heeseung
“I hate him.” The room falls quiet.
You don’t have to explain who you’re talking about, everyone knows.
“He got off completely fine.”
Your hands clench into fists.
“No hiatus. No punishment. Nothing.”
“Y/N—” Sophia starts carefully.
“No.”
You shake your head. “It was his idea.”
The words spill out before you can stop them.
“He begged me to meet so he could apologize.. I reminded him I wasn’t supposed to speak to him but no, he won’t ever take that from an answer.”
You laugh bitterly. “Now look where I am.”
Nobody interrupts.
Nobody argues.
They simply let you vent.
“He’s probably sleeping right now without a care in the world while I’m sitting here wondering if everything I’ve worked for is gone.” More tears slide down your cheeks.
“I trained for years.” Your voice breaks again.“Years.”
The members exchange glaces because they know you’re hurting.
Lara moves closer and takes your hand.“ I don’t think you actually hate him.”
You look up immediately. “Yes, I do.”
She gives you a look, the kind that says she doesn’t believe you.
“I think you’re angry.”
“Obviously I’m angry.”
The room falls silent again. You are angry. The blood in your body is practically boiling at the moment.
You’re angry at the company, you’re angry at the rules, you’re angry at yourself for agreeing to go, and you’re angry that one choice changed everything.
And maybe you’re angry at Heeseung too because right now it’s easier than feeling scared.
But you can’t help to blame yourself as-well. You know not to meet with him. That there would be consequences
Sophia reaches over and gently wipes away a tear that slips down your cheek.
“Listen to me.” You reluctantly look at her.
“This isn’t the end.”
“It feels like it.”
“I know.” She squeezes your shoulder. “But it isn’t.”
The others nod in agreement. “You have fans.”“You have us.” “You have your talent.” They all chime in one by one.
Daniela points toward your desk where pages of lyrics and notes are scattered everywhere.
“A hiatus doesn’t erase any of that.”
For the first time all night, you don’t immediately argue.
Because a small part of you wants to believe her.
Even if the rest of you can’t.
The members stay in your room for hours after that, they sit around your bed sharing stories, making jokes, and doing everything possible to distract you.
Eventually, around three in the morning, your tears stop.
The ache in your chest remains, but it’s duller now.
Less sharp and less overwhelming.
As you look around at the girls gathered in your room, something loosens inside you.
The future is still terrifying.
Tomorrow is still waiting.
The hiatus is still real.
But for tonight, at least, you’re not facing it alone.
And somehow that makes it a little easier to breathe.
___________________
Yay! I’m back🤗 So sorry for keeping you waiting almost a month my goodness but i’ve been grinding on summer courses so i haven’t had anytime to put effort into this smau but at least i’ve spoiled you guys a bit… any way pls reblog and like🙃 alsooo im expanding my tag list so lmk. ALSO (sorry) My format keeps changing so if you notice that… no you didn’t🤫
GENRE/CW: smut, angst, fluff if you squint, porn with plot, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), semi-public sex, car sex, shower sex, oral (fem receiving), fingering, marking, dry humping, slight choking, making out, multiple orgasms, mentions of jealousy, possessiveness, mentions of racing, smoking, drugs, cops. lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT: 26.5k words
SYNOPSIS: You return home after three years of exile only to find your brother’s cocky best friend Jay still acting like he belongs more than you ever did. What starts as pure hatred and endless fighting quickly turns into something dangerously addictive, but the real question is, how long before you stop pretending you want him gone?
A/N: hihi loves <3 happy jay birth omgg <3 all likes, comments, reblogs are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated! iloveyou all and happy reading <3
Familiarity was a curse you couldn’t quite grasp.
Being trapped into a series of situations where non-familiar grounds made you feel more at ease than the comfort of your home messed you up more than you’d like to admit, granted, you wanted to label it as the worst experience of your life. Was it because it made you miserable for three years of your life—the life where you were supposed to be enjoying your Uni like a normal young adult?
Or because your family sent you away with simply one thing in mind—your uncanny behaviour, which only stemmed with neglect they provided you with, so, who was to blame for this?
The answer was clear in their faces, filled with tremendous guilt of not being able to take the right decision. Three years had passed by, and it was time for you to be home. It was faintly surprising when you found your favourite childhood dishes ready on the table—your brother pulling you into a hug that you couldn’t quite accept without feeling awkward. Sunghoon despised what the situation had come down to, but he was ready to give you the time to adjust.
Your parents were the next to engulf you in a bigger embrace, “we missed you,” your dad mumbled, making you chuckle at the fact that it was indeed too late to say it.
“Have you not been eating well?” Your mother asked, scanning your face with such delicacy—reminding you of your childhood.
“I have,” you replied simply, trying to get out of the situation without causing more drama, “I’ll go freshen up first.”
You moved past them swiftly, grabbing your luggage, but your brother was quicker to carry it to your room, oh wow, now everyone wished to be nice to you? You bit the inside of your cheek, walking up to your room, completely missing the presence of another person in the house as he chose to stare at you from the sidelines.
The place was different now, having undergone a few renovations here and there, but your room remained untouched to maintain the sanctity of it. Nothing had really changed per se, but everything had. Yet, you had the luxury to find humour in it, in privacy at least, because your mouth worked faster than your brain in public. Which is exactly why you took your sweet time to rest in your room, till a solid knock on your door took away that peace.
You were pissed, reading the well decorated journal you’d somehow managed to keep when you still had the gentle thoughts within you. Now? Not so much. Each turn of the page had you laughing—mourning the person you used to be and what you got roped into, finger caressing every word of that one page which you wanted to rip apart, but also shove it deep into your memory, not wanting to face the consequences of relieving it.
Regardless, you stood up with a groan, expecting it to be your brother calling you for dinner simply because you had lost the track of your time wrapped up in the blue coloured bubble. You didn’t even realize you had a nasty frown on your face as you managed to open the door with too much force.
“Welcome back.”
The scoff that left your mouth was loud, coming across the man, the voice you didn’t wish to hear again. Of course he was here, why were you even surprised when this man was more a part of your family than you were? He fit in perfectly, as if he was the child your parents had wanted all along.
He leaned against the door with ease, running a hand through his hair, feigning boredom at your reaction of absolute disbelief, the cockiness surrounded him like spikes, reaching close enough to pop that very bubble you’d been resting in, and you hated it, you hated him for taking away everything you’d never gotten a chance to explore.
Jay stared at you without any shame, as if you’d been the one intruding his me time, making you shake your head, tongue poking your cheek with annoyance bubbling through. It was the same look he had a few years back, when you’d try to act tough in front of him and he’d see straight through it in seconds, and the worst part was that he still looked just as sure of himself now, like three years hadn’t done a thing to shake his confidence in knowing you, if he knew you at all, that is.
“Your parents must’ve kicked you out of your place, granted you still spend all your time here, like a dog we didn’t ask for,” you crossed your arms, watching him sucking on a lollipop with amusement, as if he knew you’d snap the second you’d see him.
“You sure about that?” He whispered, stepping in as you stood in your place, not wanting to provide him with the satisfaction of getting to you, “y’know, this dog knows this house better than you do.”
It was to provoke you, yes, but that was enough to make you laugh in his face, unimpressed at the new low he’d sunk to.
“Yeah, so fucking move, or did you forget how the doors work while I was gone?” You deadpan.
“No, but I did forget how bad your attitude issues are,” he raised his brows, “thought you’d come back more gentle, dainty even.”
“Aw? Sorry Mr. Park I’m not altering my personality to fit yours, go find someone else to bother.” You provided him with a clipped smile that held no respect whatsoever, not that he deserved it anyway.
He lets go of the lollipop with a smack, wetting his bottom lip as he stared at you yet again, as if pondering on whether he should push more or just see you break without saying anything, because gosh—you hadn’t changed at all, those years away meant absolutely nothing, if anything, you’d gotten worse with your walls up high, having no space to break in, no, now you talked back freely, effectively pushing him out physically and emotionally.
It was a given that he wasn’t going to move, and you rolled your eyes at the audacity of this man who just happened to be your brother’s best friend. With how close they were, anyone could’ve mistaken them for being boyfriends. When he still didn’t move, didn’t speak, you started pushing the door shut in his face.
You barely register his arm coming full force to hold the door open, not budging, making you realize that he had indeed changed, that once lanky nerd now stood up straight and strong, veins prominent on his pathetically big arms. You try again, and he laughs, he actually fucking laughs out loud at the poor attempt, vaguely surprised at how you’re not holding back, you genuinely want him gone.
“Y/N! Jay!” You mom calls out from the kitchen, and your hold falters at how she took your name first—a thing that you did not expect.
It’s stupid, really, the way your grip loosens like that, like your body reacted before your pride could catch up, and you hate that he notices it, because of course he does, of course his eyes drop for half a second to your hand on the door and then back to your face as he stood right in front of you, stopping the door before it hits you.
“Fucking leave already,” you muttered, head hurting now as you turned around.
He chuckled, “what? Gave up already?”
“You can’t be that bored, Jay,” you sighed, “go bother your boyfriend instead.”
Just as you walked outside, you felt his hand wrapping around your wrist, pulling you back against his chest—something you did not expect, a groan leaving your mouth at the impact, barely registering the movement at first, “the fuck?”
“Are you gonna leave again?” He murmured, breathing against the shell of your ear.
You thrashed in his hold, “let me go before I call Hoon,” you clenched your jaw, warning him but he found it amusing.
“C’mon, I mean no harm here, yeah? Just answer my question and you get to go, baby,” he whispered, you could hear the smile in his voice.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” You managed to push him off, chest heaving.
“Park Jongseong,” he shrugged, and you were annoyed at how he didn’t lose composure no matter what he did.
“Yeah no fucking shit idiot,” you sneered, “and you have no right to ask me that when you were the damn reason why I had to leave in the first place.”
That was the first time he diverted his gaze, that being enough of a reaction for you cause god, you did hate him and had no intentions of letting him get in your way again. If you could, you’d just slap him off his high horse and watch him fall with nothing but pure satisfaction on your face, and just like him, you wouldn’t feel an ounce of guilt within you.
“Dinner’s getting cold!” Your mother called again, the clatter of cutlery following, making your head hurt even further.
Jay cleared his throat first, stepping back as if nothing had just happened, running a hand through his hair, staring at you with the same infuriating ease that got you worked up—not in a good way, never in a good way, and you simply scoffed at the lack of reply, as if he didn’t admit to your accusation by any means.
But his eyes said it all.
“After you,” he gestured toward the stairs, jaw tight.
You stared at him for a second too long, clicking your tongue before brushing past him without another word, making sure to bump into him hard enough he stumbles back, eyes still on your figure heading downstairs, “ah—fuck,” he mumbled under his breath.
Things weren’t any better at the dining table with Jay sitting right in front of you, grinning at the joke your father made. It was endearing how your family tried to make everything seem okay, but it wasn’t a one day process and they seemed to realize it too.
“There you are,” Sunghoon had said, smiling, standing up slightly as if he might hug you again before thinking better of it, ruffling your hair as if that was any better, earning a punch on his arm for messing up your hair, still happy to have you around finally, initiating small talk.
“How was the Uni?” You father asked, granted you had stopped contacting them after a while.
“It was busy,” you replied, and technically you weren’t lying, the classes did keep you busy, amongst the other activities you took part in.
You stiffened the second you felt a feeling creep up your leg, a slow brush against your ankle. It happened again, more deliberate this time, his shoe nudging lightly against your calf before retreating as though he were gauging your reaction. You kept your expression blank, lifting your glass calmly, eyes fixed ahead at the man who made your blood boil.
Across from you, Jay looked perfectly composed, nodding at something your father had said, offering a quiet laugh to humour everyone. If anyone looked at him, they would see nothing unusual, of course, they trusted him too much anyway.
“Don’t,” you mouthed, jerking your chin forward to the food so that he focused on eating.
His grin widened, and you swore you were one touch away from kicking him, which surprise surprise, is exactly what you did when his leg started trailing up, and you fucking hated how a shiver went up your spine at that measly touch, a choked laugh leaving your mouth as he grimaced.
Sunghoon paused mid sentence at the sound that slipped out of you, brows lifting. “What?”
You cleared your throat quickly, lifting your glass to drink some juice, “nothing.”
Jay had already withdrawn his leg, adjusting in his seat as if nothing had happened, glaring at you right after and didn’t bother sparing him a glance.
“How were your grades?” Your father asked.
“Good,” you replied, even though they had seen your grades already.
“We’re proud of you,” your mother said softly.
The words sat strangely in your chest. You nodded once, not trusting yourself to elaborate further, and fuck, why were you so emotional today? All over the place and it was just your first day back.
Under the table, Jay’s foot nudged yours again, not teasing this time, just a brief press before he pulled away. You looked up sharply, but he was already listening to Sunghoon, expression composed, as though he hadn’t done anything at all, asshole.
You set your fork down soon after, “I’m tired.”
“You barely ate,” your mother frowned.
“I’m fine, mum, the food was amazing, thank you.”
You stood before anyone could insist otherwise. Sunghoon looked like he wanted to follow, but he stayed seated when you shook your head lightly. As you stepped into the hallway, you heard the scrape of a chair a moment later.
Jay’s voice came quietly from behind you, “that kick hurt y’know?”
You didn’t turn around, “you should’ve learned by now.”
After getting no reply, you started walking again, ready to sleep, mull over your day and frost into dreamland, shaking Jay’s scent off your mind and body, but he didn’t want that.
“Stay,” he said finally, softer than before, “at least this time.”
Your fingers tightened around the railing as you climbed the stairs, eyes closing at the tone, “that depends on me, not you,” you replied without looking back.
And you left him standing there, jaw clenched at how ignorant and distant you’d been, and he knew that he deserved it.
Two days had went by and you were frustrated being confined in your room, it was your own decision yes, however it was better than going down and interacting with the man who had forgotten he had his own home to go back to. It did get better when your mother had come up to check up on you—and fuck, you missed being taken care of, missed being the daughter who was loved unconditionally each passing day.
However, Jay was adamant about bothering you, the lunch being full of him reminiscing about the old days, to the point he made your father bring out old albums just so he could see how you were as a kid. It was odd how he smiled at a certain picture of you and Sunghoon playing in the tent house you owned, but you knew better to mistake it for fondness, he was too good at acting anyway.
He was simply there to bother you.
Sunghoon was leaving for a competition, and you did your best to wish him luck, the happiness clear on his face at the statement.
Which brings you back to now—the dinner was done, and Jay had left somewhere, thank fucking god. But now, you were bored. It was that familiar itch you had, your fingers tightening around your phone as you scrolled through your contacts that you’d never bothered to delete all this while. It was valid, right? To let loose every few days, to meet up with old friends.
Nipping at your bottom lip, you pulled up the chat, not expecting the reply to come as fast as it did.
You: alive?
Jake: who’s this
You rolled your eyes, as if this man would ever delete your number.
You: you’re so fucking annoying jake
Jake: that’s what you get for leaving me
You: so dramatic, i’m back
Jake: as in, back in the town?
You: yes obvi
Jake: yeah? and you didn’t bother telling me?
You could picture it clearly, him smirking at the phone, leaning back with a chuckle. It was easier for you to smile at it too.
You: now i did
Jake: where are you? be ready in ten
You: home, be quick
So, you were actually doing it again, and you didn’t care, a smirk pulling at your lips, grabbing your leather jacket as you changed into something that fit your image better, applying a layer of makeup, knowing it would Jake fifteen minutes to reach, having done it before, way too many times that your body remembered the thrill of it all. Without bothering to turn on the lights, you slipped outside into the cold air, thankful for the absence of Jay who usually sat around the living room at this hour.
The low rumble of a bike cut through the quiet before you even saw the headlights, that familiar sound rolling down the street, Jake slowed near the curb, one foot dropping to the ground as he pushed his visor up, eyes landing on you without surprise, and you knew he sported that lazy smile under the helmet.
He let out a short breath through his nose, “so it’s true, you’re back.”
“Unfortunately,” you replied, stepping closer, “you came quick.”
His gaze dropped briefly to your jacket, your makeup, then back to your face, something unreadable flickering there before he handed you the spare helmet, which you wore without thinking twice.
“I was nearby,” he answered, which was an absolute lie and both of you knew it.
You climbed on behind him without another word, hands settling at his waist as he pulled away from the curb, the ride swallowed conversation whole, wind cutting through the quiet yet familiar streets slipping into darker roads until the city was distant. And god you smiled, living in the present and radiating happiness that even Jake could feel.
He slowed near the warehouse, parking off to the side where the line of cars broke unevenly along the road. The building looked dead from the outside, but the bass leaked through the walls, the ground faintly trembling under your boots when you stepped off, going inside while he stayed close, watching you take a drink from someone without even asking what it was.
A lot of people were pleasantly surprised seeing you back, pulling you into hugs, inquiring about the shit that went down.
“You haven’t changed,” he murmured, and you shook your head, taking a big sip to feel that warmth around your throat.
“Neither have you,” you replied, though you didn’t look back when you said it, because you found something far more interesting barely hidden behind all those intoxicated bodies.
Of fucking course—the man you’d been trying to escape was already here, a hypocrite through and through. He gave you so much shit for surrounding yourself with this crowd as if he wasn’t still an active part of it too. To no one’s surprise, he was staring at you, a scoff leaving your mouth as you focused back on Jake.
“Will he ever leave you alone? He even joined racing because of you back then.” He asked, leaning in.
“I fucking hope he does. I swear, out of all places, he just had to be here? Two minutes and he’s gonna come pick a fight with you,” you sighed.
“Two minutes? He’s already walking over,” Jake smirked, straightening his jacket at the new arrival, and god you did feel the warmth of him approaching, standing right beside you.
“You didn’t even last a week,” Jay said smoothly, and you gripped the glass tighter, biting the inside of your cheek. Who was he to even keep tabs on you?
“Yeah, so? Gonna go and snitch again?” You turned to look at him, taking another sip of the awfully strong drink.
He chuckled but there was no humour behind it, “you’re coming home with me,” he muttered under his breath.
“Says who?” You asked, incredulous at his ability to never shut up, especially when he made decisions for you as if he had any right to do so.
Jay didn’t answer immediately, which was rare for him, his gaze lingering on your face like he was trying to find something familiar there and coming up short every time, because as familiar as the setting was, you had changed. The music boomed around you, people brushing past without noticing the tension sitting between the three of you.
“You don’t belong here,” he said quietly, sighing finally in hopes that you’ll listen for once.
You let out a dry laugh, tilting your head slightly as you looked at him. “And you do?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“That’s exactly what you meant, that’s how you’ve always been.”
Jake shifted beside you, close enough that his arm brushed yours, presence warm as always, him being someone you could truly trust. You didn’t miss the way Jay noticed it, the subtle tightening of his jaw, the brief flicker in his eyes that disappeared almost instantly, well, this was the only place where he lost composure.
“She’s not going anywhere,” Jake said lightly, just stating it with a shrug.
Jay finally looked at him properly then, “I wasn’t talking to you,” he replied.
Jake gave him yet another shrug with an amused smile, unfazed by his hostility, and you could feel the irritation building in Jay in quiet layers. He exhaled slowly through his nose, attention returning to you.
“You’ll regret this,” he said, voice low enough that only you could hear it.
You smiled without warmth, “then I’ll deal with it, not you.”
That seemed to be the point where something in him gave up trying to reason, his expression settling back into something distant in a way that felt worse than anger. He held your gaze for one last second before stepping back, making it clear he was done trying, watching Jake’s arm on your waist as his tongue poked his cheek, walking away.
He wasn’t even putting up a fight, and somehow managed to sour your mood further, but you let Jake take over and dance with you, taking your mind off of the man who had left a few minutes back. Time moved strangely after it, and you weren’t sure how long you’d been there, catching up with your friend, but you realized it was late when you took another puff of the joint you and Jake shared, only to hear sirens blazing outside.
“Oh fuck,” you muttered.
Someone had warned the police, making people surge towards the exit without much care about shoving each other. Jake’s fingers wrapped around your wrist, “come on,” he nodded, and you just followed him, but it was useless with how everyone had jammed the exit.
A hand shoved into your shoulder from behind and you stumbled forward, catching yourself against Jake’s arm, the movement twisting your ankle at a strange angle when you tried to steady your weight. Pain shot up fast and sharp, stealing your breath.
Jake felt you tense up immediately. “Hey.”
“I’m fine,” you said automatically, but your step faltered again when he tried to move you forward. You were, in fact, not fine by any means.
Which is why you found yourself at the police station alongside Jake, who’d refused to leave you behind. It was rather funny if you took your mind off what would happen if your family came to know about this ordeal. You’d chosen to call Sunghoon despite knowing he wasn’t in the city, and it did not end well—not because he was angry, but he was scared, and that was worse.
You ended the call before he could ask anything else, before the concern in his voice could turn into questions you didn’t want to answer, especially when he knew exactly what was going on, staring at the dark screen for a moment longer than necessary.
“He’s worried, y’know? I’m not close with him, but he did shut everyone out after you left,” Jake broke the silence as you both curled up in the corner of the cell.
“Didn’t bother reaching out regardless, I was waiting,” you chuckled, and Jake pulled you into a half hug with a dull ache in your ankle, talking about everything and he was probably the only person you could truly confide in.
Which is why you didn’t notice someone staring at you with the intensity that could burn holes. He looked disappointed, especially with how you had a smile on your face even after this—especially curling up around Jake as if you were sitting on your bed and not in the police station. He knew this would happen.
You only noticed Jay when Jake’s voice faltered mid-sentence, eyes on him now, jaw clenching as to build the walls around you yet again. He simply waited for the officer to open the door.
“Here he comes playing your knight in shining armour again,” Jake mumbled, pulling you closer under his gaze.
“I’m fucking screwed, he’s gonna tell everyone,” you sighed, body heating up as you remembered how it went the last time.
“Not this time, trust me,” Jake muttered into your ear.
The officer was quick to tell how Jay had been gracious enough to bail out you and Jake? You stood carefully, the pressure on your ankle sending a sharp protest upward before dulling into something manageable. Jake’s hand hovered at your back for balance, but Jay was already there, fingers closing lightly around your forearm firmly, preventing the stumble you would never admit might happen.
“Weight off it,” he said quietly, making Jake roll his eyes and honestly, you didn’t have it in you to argue any further, signing the paperwork without much chatter, stepping outside finally which had you realizing just how suffocating it was to be inside.
“Get home yourself,” Jay nodded towards Jake, grabbing your hand, pulling you towards his car.
“For fucks sake, she’s hurt,” Jake groaned, having had enough of this attitude, taking you to the car instead, “be careful.”
This couldn’t be happening at four in the morning, you didn’t wish to think about it, and you certainly didn’t wish to see the look on Jay’s face, who only opened the door and waited, eyes lowering down to your ankle which seemed to be swollen—and he cussed cause fuck he shouldn’t have left you alone. What would Sunghoon say?
“Text me, okay?” Jake asked and you nodded, squeezing his hand and thanking him.
You chose to look out the window, “Hoon called you then?” You asked, a few minutes after he started driving, nearing home.
“Yeah,” he replied, eyes on the road.
It was clear he didn’t wish to speak further, and you shook your head, “you didn’t have to come anyway,” you seethed out.
“You’re unbelievable—getting into trouble and what do I get? Not even a thank you?”
“Oh i’m sorry, you wanna be thanked? I didn’t ask you to come here, Jay,” you replied, nails digging into your palm.
“Well, I still fucking did.” He was frustrated, steering the car into the parking, stopping now, staring at you, “I always will.”
“What—”
He got out before you could even ask what he meant by it. Well, that was intense, your eyes closing as you leaned against the seat. The door on his side shut harder than necessary, the sound echoing through the quiet street, and you stayed exactly where you were, fingers still curled against your palm. He came around to your side a moment later, opening the door.
“I can get myself out,” you muttered, shifting forward.
“Yeah, whatever,” he replied, stepping closer when you limped, and it was humiliating the way his warm arm closed around you, “stop fighting everything.”
“I’m not—”
You were braced up against the car for the second before Jay decided that he’d had enough, he was tired. His arm slid behind your back, and under your knees in one swift movement that left you breathless more from shock than anything else. He lifted you like it was nothing, walking ahead.
“Put me down,” you snapped immediately, fingers gripping the front of his jacket with a fear of falling down.
“Walk then,” he said flatly, not slowing.
“You’re so—” you cut yourself off, jaw tightening, because struggling would only make you look worse and you already hated the position you were in. His hold was firm, and fuck, it was so annoyingly careful, and you could feel the tension in him, the rigid set of his shoulders, the way he refused to look at you as he carried you up the steps.
The front door opened with a quiet click and he stepped inside, nudging it shut behind him with his foot. The house was dark and silent, your parents were asleep. He didn’t really speak as he carried you through the hallway, and you just hoped he didn’t feel how your heart was beating out of your chest.
He didn’t slow down until he reached your door, shoulder nudging it open because his hands were still holding you, and the quiet inside your room felt too normal for how loud your pulse still was. He lowered you onto the edge of the bed without a word.
The second your balance settled, he stepped back enough to put space between you and whatever had passed in the car earlier.
You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, fingers braced against the mattress, ankle throbbing and you wondered how it all went so fucking wrong. His attention dropped straight to your feet, to the heels still strapped on despite the pain.
You moved first, reaching down when you saw him doing it, you have had enough for the night, “I can take them off.”
His hand closed lightly around your wrist before you could touch the buckle, “don’t,” he said quietly.
You stared at him for a second, irritation flaring again but you didn’t pull away, watching how different he looked with shorter hair, jawline sharper now. He crouched in front of you, fingers moving to the strap, undoing it as his fingers caressed the skin over the swell gently, a focused pout on his face which looked cute, juxtaposing the feeling within him—and gosh you could never call him that to his face. The clasp clicked open finally, and he slid the heels off slowly, one at a time, setting them aside near the wall instead of dropping them where he was.
It was such a small, stupid detail and it made your throat feel tight for no reason you wanted to examine.
“Happy?” You muttered, leaning back slightly, watching him instead of the ceiling.
“No,” he replied, already standing again, turning and leaving because he knew if he stayed a second longer, he’d overstep the boundaries.
You took in a deep breath once he was gone, “he’s crazy,” you mumbled to yourself, “crazy, crazy, crazy.”
For a moment you just breathed and wondered why he was always around, why didn’t he let you forget about his existence, why did he have to be so awful about his presence, and act so fucking nice when you were vulnerable, actions never matching his words. You didn’t realize how long you’d been staring at nothing until the door opened again, softer this time, like he was making sure not to wake anyone.
He didn’t turn the light on. The faint spill of dim lights from the hallway followed him in, enough to see the towel in his hand, already damp around the edges where the ice pressed through the fabric. You pushed yourself upright a little before he even said anything, because of course he would come back, because of course he wouldn’t just leave it alone.
He set the ice on the bedside table first, then looked at you properly for the first time since the car, “move,” he said quietly.
“Jay, why are you doing this?” You asked, shifting your leg toward him without arguing this time, too tired to fight something that would happen anyway. His hand slid under your ankle just long enough to lift it, settling the cold against the swelling with careful pressure. The chill made you inhale sharply.
He didn’t comment on it, or on the question you asked, he just adjusted the towel once, making sure it stayed in place before letting go.
“You didn’t have to come back,” you said after a moment, voice lower now.
“I know.”
You almost laughed, because he kept saying that like it explained anything, typical Jay—him and his two word replies.
He stayed where he was for a few seconds longer than necessary, caressing the softness of your skin, then straightened, hands falling uselessly at his sides before he shoved them into his pockets like he needed somewhere to put them to ground himself, because whatever was happening felt way too serious, too intimate.
“You should sleep,” he said.
“You should go home,” you replied automatically.
His jaw shifted slightly, like he almost said something else, then decided against it, “yeah,” he said finally.
He moved to the door, paused with his hand resting against the frame, and for a second you thought he might turn around, might finish whatever sentence he’d left hanging downstairs, but just as usual, he didn’t.
“Jay,” you called out before you could stop yourself, making him stop and turn around, “will you tell my—my parents?”
He chuckled, cause why did he even bother to expect you saying any other thing, “I won’t.”
“Thank you,” you replied, looking elsewhere, “for everything, for the night.”
Turns out, you still could surprise him with nice words.
You missed the way the corner of his lip twitched before he nodded, leaving yet again. The hallway light disappeared when he closed the door behind him, leaving only the faint cold against your ankle and the quiet hum of the house settling back into place.
You lay back slowly, staring at the ceiling again, body finally heavy enough to believe the night was over. The space he’d left behind didn’t feel empty, yet it was unfinished in a way that indicated how it wasn’t the end, just the start.
You woke up to a very concerned Sunghoon, barely realizing it was nearing evening and you’d so easily slept through the day. What you didn’t expect was to see Sunghoon rushing back home, nearly in tears at the thought of you being in trouble.
“Are you okay? Hurt anywhere? Fuck—”
“Sunghoon—I’m okay,” you gulped, sitting up straight, gasping when he pulled you into a warm hug.
“I’m sorry, won’t leave you alone again,” Sunghoon mumbled, all his brotherly instincts coming back.
He remembered that day when he was seven and you’d thrown a tantrum, wanting to visit the park and feed the ducks. He had taken the responsibility to take you out without informing your parents about it, and he felt the most guilty little kid alive when you fell down and scraped your knee—he was scared. It didn’t compare to the day when your parents found out about your drug usage and illegal racings, even though he was just as clueless, he hated himself for not convincing your parents enough to let you stay.
He called you each day for the first month, but once he started with his own uni lectures, it was hard to do so—and when he tried again, you’d given up, feeling abandoned.
“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, clearly regretting a lot.
Your bottom lip quivered, and at that point, it was you coddling Sunghoon as he went on describing how much he’d tried to stop your parents, how he missed his sister, each word making your chest tighten with sadness. That conversation was really important, especially with Sunghoon practically begging for forgiveness and you accepting his apology, trying to turn a new leaf. However, him saying he wouldn’t let you go out alone made you groan before you both started chuckling.
Jay watched it all happen, the door being slightly ajar, smiling without even processing any bit of it. This was the second time he’d seen you truly smile after coming back, he didn’t like that the first one was with Jake of all people. Jay rushed to leave the second he saw Sunghoon standing up, almost tripping in the process, but he somehow managed.
It was easier to lie to the family after having Sunghoon onboard with you, as he’d promised to not tell anyone. Your excuse? You tripped in the bathroom. As horrendous it sounds, it was plausible, and well, you got extra chicken nuggets for dinner! Alongside the absence of Jay, who had apparently gone back home to get some work done, which is why the house was more silent than you’d like to admit.
The extra nuggets didn’t do much cause by the time the house settled, the ache in your leg had deepened into a heavy pressure that made sleep feel irritating. You tried to sleep an hour before giving up, and gosh—even standing up took effort because of your ankle. You waited until the dizziness passed, then eased your weight onto your good leg and moved toward the door, keeping one hand along the wall for balance.
The hallway was dark, the kitchen darker. You were a few steps from the counter when your foot slid slightly on the tile, just enough for your balance to be tipped forward, and you could barely make out what to reach out for in the darkness.
Then a warm hand caught your arm, another steadying your waist, holding you steady, and a bit too close for your liking—making you yelp in surprise.
“Shh, calm the fuck down,” Jay muttered as you breathed hard, pushing him off of you, which did not work out.
“The fuck are you doing here? Mum said you went back home,” you huffed.
“Plans change,” he hummed, the vibration of his chest rumbling against your side because god, he was still holding you that close. He didn’t even sound apologetic, just bored as usual, “and lucky for you I did, or you’d be face-planting into the linoleum right now.”
You tried to wrench your arm out of his grip, but his fingers only tightened—reminding you of that irritating strength he’d developed while you were gone. “I didn’t ask for your help. I was fine.”
“Sure. So you asked your mum where I went?” He smirked, catching on to what you’d mentioned.
“Oh fuck no, they just told me without having to ask,” you muttered, lying because, you did in fact as them about it. You started moving, trying to get out of his grip.
“Stop squirming, Y/N. You’re going to hurt yourself more, and I’m not explaining to Sunghoon why his sister is crying on the floor at three in the morning.”
“I’m not crying,” you hissed, though the throb in your ankle was making your eyes water. You pushed at his chest again, palms flat against the hard muscle that shouldn't have felt so warm through his shirt. “Let go, Jay. Seriously.”
“Fine.”
He didn’t step back. Instead, his hands slid from your waist to your hips, and before you could even process the indignity of it, he hoisted you up. You gasped, hands instinctively clutching his shoulders for purchase as he made you sit on the kitchen counter with effortless ease.
“You’re such a dick,” you whispered, though the bite was lacking because your heart was hammering against your ribs—from the scare, you told yourself. Definitely just the scare.
“And you’re welcome,” he countered smoothly, stepping into the space between your knees before you could close them. It was a rather possessive move, trapping you against the granite. He leaned in, one hand resting on the counter beside your thigh, trapping you in. “Now, are you down here for water, or were you planning to escape again?”
You couldn’t see him, but your eyes had adjusted enough to gather his silhouette, the sharpness of his jawline. He smelled like mint and that faint, expensive tobacco scent he seemed to carry now, intoxicating in the small space.
Without having to answer, Jay gathered that you were hungry when he heard that small rumble from your stomach, and he found it funny when you moved in embarrassment, but he didn’t let you move.
“Classy,” he murmured, his thumb grazing the side of your hip, a ghost of a touch, “I take it the dinner wasn’t enough.”
“Shut up,” you hissed, face burning. You tried to shove at his chest again, but it was like pushing a brick wall, “I swear I’ll scream and Sunghoon will kill you if he sees us like this.”
“Like what? Like you’re enjoying spending time with his best friend?” The words were a whisper, dangerously close to your ear, sending a shiver down your spine that had absolutely nothing to do with the cold kitchen tiles. He didn’t wait for you to answer—didn’t give you the satisfaction of stuttering out a denial. Instead, he finally pulled back, the loss of his body heat leaving you feeling strangely exposed in the dark.
Jay had already grabbed two packs of ramen, and you wondered just how well versed he was with the kitchen to be doing all this in darkness.
“I’m going back to bed.”
“Try it,” he challenged, not even looking at you. “You hop one step on that ankle and I’ll tie you to the counter. Don’t test me, Y/N. I’m fucking tired.”
You stayed put, seething, watching the way his shirt pulled taut across his shoulders as he cracked an egg into the boiling water with one hand. It was annoying how competent he was. How very steady.
A few minutes later, he was done. He didn’t bother with bowls. He grabbed the pot handle and two pairs of chopsticks, balancing a water bottle under his arm, leaving you in the dark, asking you to stay put as he went upstairs to keep the food in—your room?
“We’re moving,” he stated, walking back toward you now.
“I can eat here. It’s a fucking kitchen.”
“And your parents’ bedroom is directly above us. Unless you want to explain why we’re having a midnight feast together, we’re going to your room.” He said, stepping into your personal space again.
“I can walk,” you insisted, sliding your good leg off the counter, “I don’t need you to—”
“You can limp,” he corrected, cutting you off. “And I’m not waiting for you to drag yourself down the hallway.”
Before you could even plant your feet, he moved. One arm hooked behind your knees, the other around your waist, and he swept you up against his chest like you weighed absolutely nothing. You gasped, hands instinctively clutching his shirt, your face buried in the crook of his neck. That scent flooded your senses, and you hated it, hated him.
“Put me down, you jerk,” you whispered harshly, though you didn’t struggle. You couldn’t when his grip was practically iron.
“Shut up,” he grunted, kicking the kitchen door open. He carried you down the dark hallway with ease, he went straight to your room, maneuvering you through the door before kicking it shut with his heel.
The way he dropped you on the bed was gentle, keeping in mind your bruised ankle, grabbing the pot he kept on the table.
“Eat,” he ordered, placing the steaming pot on a magazine in the center of your duvet.
“I’m not eating out of the pot with you,” you glared, though the spicy steam was making your mouth water.
“Suit yourself.” Jay climbed onto the bed opposite you, sitting cross-legged. He claimed his side of the mattress with an arrogance that made your blood boil, his knee knocking against yours, he didn’t pull back.
He took a bite, chewing slowly, eyes locked on yours. “More for me.” He shrugged.
Your stomach growled again, louder this time. Jay smirked around his chopsticks, and gosh, was it embarrassing.
“Fine,” you snapped, snatching the other pair from the tray. You leaned in, fighting for space over the small pot. “Move your big head.”
“Watch your elbows,” he muttered, but he shifted slightly, just enough to let you in.
“You’re hogging the egg,” you accused, eyeing the single poached egg floating in the chili oil. You reached for it, Jay’s chopsticks clattered against yours instantly.
“I cooked, I eat,” he murmured, not even looking up.
“I’m the injured party here—I need protein for healing!” You shoved his hand aside, or tried to, leaning in further, “give it up, Jay.”
“Make me,” he challenged, his voice dropping an octave, slipping from annoyed to amused.
You huffed, abandoning strategy for speed, and lunged. You managed to snag the yolk, but before you could pull back, Jay’s hand shot out. He didn’t grab the chopsticks—he grabbed your wrist.
The contact was electric. His fingers wrapped around your pulse point, halting you mid-air. The sudden stop made you gasp, and you looked up, ready to snap at him—but the words died in your throat. He wasn't looking at the food, he was looking at you. He had leaned in to block you, and now his face was terrifyingly close, eyes dark, dilated in the dim light, tracking the movement of your throat as you swallowed. The playful arrogance was gone, replaced by that heavy, suffocating intensity that gave you goosebumps.
“You are,” he whispered, his thumb brushing the sensitive skin of your inner wrist, “such a brat.”
“And you’re a fucking bully,” you breathed back, but you didn’t pull your hand away. Your heart was thudding so hard against your ribs you were sure he could hear it in the silence.
Jay’s gaze dropped to your lips, the air between you thickened, charged with three years of resentment and something else you couldn’t quite name. He leaned forward, just a fraction of an inch, and your breath hitched.
“Jay,” you exhaled, a warning or an invitation? You weren’t sure which at this point.
He tilted his head, his eyes fluttering shut for a brief second as if he was fighting for control, or maybe losing it. His face was so close now that you could feel the warmth of his breath on your cheek.
“Tell me to stop,” he murmured against the corner of your mouth, his voice rough, “tell me to get out.”
You stared at him, lips parted, your brain screaming at you to push him away, to dump the noodles on his lap, to do something. But your body was frozen, leaning into his gravity. You stayed silent as his lips brushed against yours, just barely, but enough to make you gasp, the silence only making it worse.
Just then, the sudden vibration of your phone against your thigh brought you back to reality, as you both froze, especially Jay who stared at the lit up screen displaying Jake’s name, making him pull back in annoyance. He didn’t say a word as he slid off the bed, standing up and smoothing his shirt down with a jerky motion, his face twisting into that cold, unreadable mask you hated.
“Jay, wait—”
“Answer it,” he cut you off, his voice flat. He didn’t look at you. He was already retreating, putting distance between you like the last five minutes hadn’t happened, “don’t let me keep you.”
You blinked, the whiplash of his mood making your head spin. You grabbed the phone just to stop the buzzing, silencing it, but your eyes were glued to his back. He stopped at the door, one hand gripping the frame, knuckles white.
A sudden, stupid urge to provoke him bubbled up—maybe to get a reaction.
“You know,” you started, forcing a breathless laugh as you leaned back against the headboard, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”
You waited for the retort, the scoff, the keep dreaming, princess.
But Jay didn’t say anything. He didn’t even turn around, just stepped into the hallway and pulled the door shut behind him with a soft, final click, leaving you alone in the dark with a silenced phone and a heart that was beating way too fast.
The door clicked shut behind Jay, yet he didn’t have it in him to walk away just yet. His hand hovered over the cold brass handle, knuckles white, as he stood frozen in the hallway, listening to the silence on the other side. He half-expected—maybe half-hoped—that you would chase after him, fling the door open, and yell something bratty that would give him an excuse to turn around and finish what he started.
But of course, you didn’t.
Instead, he heard the faint thud of your phone hitting the mattress, followed by a heavy, frustrated sigh. Jake.
The name twisted in his gut like a knife, and it was ugly. It wasn’t jealousy—he told himself, forcing his feet to move, forcing his breath to even out. He wasn’t jealous of a guy who looked like he peaked in high school. It was just annoyance. By the time he reached his own room (well, guest room), slamming the door hard enough to rattle the frame, he had convinced himself that the heat pooling low in his stomach was nothing but anger. You were a problem to be managed, not a temptation to be indulged, and gosh, he was done slipping.
It was when you entered the kitchen the next morning, things began to get worse. Jay didn’t even look at you, didn’t pass a snarky comment, nor did he bother bringing up what had almost happened last night. In fact, Jay didn’t even look up from his coffee. Apparently he thought silent treatment would help, and boy did he stretch it—for four whole days.
He became a ghost in your own fucking house. If you walked into a room, he walked out. When your mother asked him to help you change the ice pack because you were struggling to balance, he did it without a word. He knelt at your feet, his hands warm and efficient on your skin, but he stared at the wall the entire time. He didn’t tease you about your swollen foot. He didn’t thumb the sensitive skin of your arch like he had in your bedroom. He simply acted like he was doing his job, which he didn’t even need to do actually.
It effectively drove you insane.
You tried to provoke him. You played music too loud, you wore the short shorts he hated, you even talked loudly on the phone to Jake in the living room, laughing at jokes that werent exactly funny, just to see if his jaw would tick.
Jay just turned the volume up on the TV, his expression bored, completely unmoved, so unbothered.
He was denying you the one thing you craved more than his kindness—his attention. He was starving you out, weaponizing his indifference to put you back in your place, and the worst part was, it was working. The silence made the memory of his breath on your lips feel like a hallucination, making you question if he had ever looked at you with anything other than annoyance.
By the fifth night, the itch under your skin was unbearable. Your ankle could finally hold weight. The swelling was gone, leaving only a stiff ache when you turned too fast, but you were done being the invalid, and you were absolutely done being ignored.
If Jay wanted to pretend you were invisible after the shit he pulled then you were going to make sure you were the only thing he could see, ditching the sweatpants for a pair of shorts and a cute tank top, just casual enough for dinner. The roasted chicken smelled amazing for sure, the light conversation going on as Sunghoon urged you to sit next to him.
And then there was Jay, looking infuriatingly at ease with his hair styled back, specs on, clad in a black button up with sleeves rolled up for the Uni presentation he had for some module earlier today. He didn’t bother looking up when you entered—of fucking course.
“Finally,” your mother smiled, gesturing to the empty chair across from Jay. “We were waiting for you. Leg feeling better?”
“Much better,” you said, your voice clear and bright. You pulled the chair out—the wood scraping loudly against the floorboards, a jarring sound that made Sunghoon wince—and sat down, “I think I’m fully healed, actually.”
Jay’s gaze remained fixed on the water jug in the center of the table. He reached out and poured himself a glass.
“That’s great news,” your father beamed, passing you a plate.
“It means I can finally go out again,” you replied, locking your eyes on Jay’s profile. “Catch up on everything I missed.”
Jay took a sip of his water, not reacting as he placed the glass down with a soft clink and turned to your mother. “The chicken tastes excellent, Mrs. Park.”
Oh the fucking audacity.
You stabbed a piece of potato with your fork. He was really going to do this? He was really going to sit three feet away from you, in your house, eating your food, and act like you were a ghost? Two could play a game. And you remembered exactly how he played it.
You pressed your toes against the side of his calf, just above his sock line, making him freeze mid bite, jaw tightening but you didn’t stop, dragging your foot up slowly, mimicking the exact move he had pulled on you the night you returned.
“So, Jay,” you said, your voice dripping with innocent sweetness, “You’ve been quite busy working on the presentation, how’d it go?”
Jay set his fork down, clearing his throat, reaching for his water again, but his eyes stayed glued to your father, “uh—yeah. It went pretty well.”
You hummed, nodding as you pressed harder, digging your arch into the muscle of his calf. He flinched—a tiny jerk of his leg that rattled the table.
“Everything okay, Jay?” Sunghoon asked, mouth full of potatoes.
“Fine,” Jay gritted out, his voice tight.
You almost laughed, letting your foot slide higher, hooking your toes behind his knee. Jay choked on his water. He coughed, slamming the glass down a little too hard, water sloshing over the rim. Your mother looked concerned, reaching over to pat his back, but Jay waved her off, his face flushing and god it was amusing.
He shot a glare across the table—finally. It was brief and filled with a warning that made you shiver. Stop it.
You smiled back, taking a calm sip of your juice. Make me.
He tried to shift his leg away, but the table legs boxed him in. He tried to trap your foot between his ankles, clamping down hard, but you were quicker. You slipped free, grazing the inside of his thigh—dangerously high—before retreating to his shin. His composure was cracking. You could see the strain in his shoulders, the way his knuckles were white where he gripped the edge of the table.
He stood up abruptly, “I’m done,” he mumbled, “I forgot I have a deadline for an assignment.”
Everyone sat there all confused, especially Sunghoon with a comical expression on his face, “what is his problem?” He asked.
“I’ll go check on him,” you rolled your eyes, knowing that Sunghoon won’t get up mid dinner, he liked food way too much to abandon it midway.
You followed him upstairs, knowing he’d be in the guest bathroom, opening the door without knocking. Jay was standing at the sink, gripping the marble edge so hard the veins on his pathetically big arms popped out. His head was hung low, shoulders bunched, his breathing heavy and ragged in the small, tiled space.
“That was a fast exit, Jongseong,” you smirked, leaning against the doorframe before closing the door behind you with a small click.
Jay looked at you, his bored, indifferent mask now gone, replaced with this dark look you knew so well. He took two long strides, invading your space until your back hit the cold tiles of the wall.
“You think you’re so brave when there’s a tablecloth to hide behind, huh?” He hissed, his voice dropping, sending a shiver straight up your spine. He slammed his hand against the wall next to your head, trapping you, “you spent all of dinner trying to get a rise out of me. Well, here I am. What now, Y/N?”
“Was just asking about your presentation,” you shrugged even though your heart was hammering against your ribs, “or were you too distracted by my foot to remember that?”
Jay let out a dry, humorless laugh, his face inches from yours, “ah—you want to play games, baby? Fine. But you’re all talk, y’know?”
He leaned in, his nose brushing yours, his thumb grazing your chin to tilt your face up harshly. “Touch me right now. No table, no parents, no Sunghoon to distract you. Prove you aren’t just a brat looking for something you can’t even handle.”
He expected you to chicken out, but instead, you reached out—hand flattening against his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of his black button-up. You could feel the frantic rhythm of his heart beneath your palm—matching yours beat for beat. You didn’t stop there, sliding your hand upward, your thumb brushing over his pulse point at the base of his throat before gripping the back of his neck, pulling him down just that extra inch.
“I’m not scared, Jay,” you whispered against his lips, and for a second you even forgot what was the purpose behind this, just what exactly did you wish to achieve here? But that didn’t stop you, “are you?”
“You have no fucking idea,” he rasped out, voice breaking as he leaned his forehead against yours, “how much I wanna ruin you right now.”
Jay swore he heard you whimper, something you stopped before it could get out, but the way your thighs pressed together was a dead giveaway.
“Then do it,” you challenged, trying to sound normal, “if you’re not scared, then fucking do it.”
He didn’t need to be told twice, the last syllable barely left your lips before his restraint shattered. He didn’t lean in, he came full force, one hand tangling into your hair to yank your head back, exposing the expanse of your throat, while the other arm slammed against the door behind you, muttering something like fuck it.
His mouth crashing onto yours, a gasp leaving your mouth at the taste of him, the sound swallowed by his mouth as his tongue swept inside, deepening the kiss with a starving rhythm that made your knees buckle instantly, gripping your waist harder, fingers digging into your skin through the thin fabric of your top.
“This what you want?” He groaned against your lips, biting down on the bottom one before soothing it with a gentle swipe of his tongue, “want me to kiss you? Teach you some manners? Do more, hm?”
You couldn’t answer, couldn’t think past the friction of his thigh slotting between yours with a pressure that made you whimper for real this time. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down, needing to be closer, needing to erase the distance he’d kept between you with nothing but heat, because this didn’t mean anything.
“You’re shaking,” Jay mumbled, tilting your head before slotting his lips onto yours again, “because you know you want me.”
“I don’t,” you lied, the denial breathless and weak against his mouth, but your body betrayed you instantly. You arched into him, a desperate move that brought your hips flush against his, the friction sending a jolt of electricity straight to your core.
“Liar,” Jay hissed, his hand leaving your waist to slide down the curve of your spine, gripping your ass. He hauled you up, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist, pinning you against the door so that every inch of you was at his mercy, “you’re dripping for it. I can feel it.”
He buried his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there, sucking hard enough to leave a mark that would scream his name to anyone who looked. One hand kept you anchored to him, fingers digging into your flesh, while the other slid under the hem of your tank top.
“Is this better?” He rasped, his thumb brushing the underside of your breast, teasing just barely, enough to make you whimper his name, “Is this the attention you were begging for at dinner? Being pinned up in a bathroom like a desperate little thing?”
“Jay, please,” you moaned, your head falling back against the wood, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him harder against you. You didn’t know if you were begging him to stop or to never let go.
“Please what?” He pulled back just enough to look at you, his eyes blown wide and dark with a hunger that looked terrifyingly like—love? His hand moved higher, cupping you through the thin fabric of your bra, his thumb flicking over the hardened peak, “please stop? Or please ruin you?”
He didnt bother waiting for an answer, kissing you again, messy and wet, swallowing your cries as he ground his hips against yours, the hard ridge of him pressing against your cunt. It was too much—the sensation of his hands on your skin, the taste of him, the overwhelming, suffocating reality that you belonged to him completely in this moment.
The pleasure was a sharp, blinding spike that cut through the anger, but right behind it was the terror. He was consuming you. He was taking everything you had to give and breaking you down until you were nothing but a trembling mess in his arms, and the worst part was, he knew it. He was in control, and you were unraveling. The realization hit you like a fucking slap.
You shoved at his shoulders, a frantic, jerky movement born of sudden panic.
“Stop,” you choked out, breaking the kiss with a ragged gasp.
Jay froze, his chest heaving against yours, his lips red and swollen, glossy with your spit. He looked dazed, like a man waking up from a fever dream, his hand still possessively claiming the curve of your breast under your shirt.
“I can’t do this,” you whispered, scrambling down from his hold, your legs shaking.
“Y/N—”
You pulled the door open and fled into the hallway, running for your room, leaving him standing alone in the clinical white light, the wreckage of his composure—and yours, scattered all over the floor.
You weren’t sure if you even got a wink of sleep last night, especially when you were sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was a stupid decision to push him, because now you could only think about the kiss—which was weird granted it wasn’t your first, yet it felt like one. You groaned, throwing the duvet off your overheated body and dragging yourself to the vanity mirror.
The reflection that stared back was a mess—hair tangled, lips still swollen and bitten red, eyes rimmed with exhaustion, but your gaze dropped lower, and your breath hitched.
It was a bruise, actually, it was a possessive stamp that screamed Park Jongseong. You traced it with a trembling finger, flinching slightly at the tenderness, oh this fucking man had given you a hickey. With a deep sigh, you grabbed your old journal from the nightstand, scribbling down every bit of your dilemma, right after the page where you’d written out your past feelings for your brother’s best friend—something you felt before he snitched on you.
You slammed the notebook shut, shoving it deep into the drawer as if the leather cover could contain the messy, bleeding ink of your confession. You barely had time to splash cold water on your face and throw on an oversized hoodie—hoping the fabric was thick enough to hide the evidence—before the chaos of your parents leaving filtered up the stairs.
“Y/N! We’re heading out!” Your mother called from the foyer.
You dragged yourself downstairs, watching your parents taking their suitcase out, now standing by the open door with Sunghoon, who looked only half-awake in his sweatpants.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Your father asked, adjusting his cufflinks. “The Kims would love to see you. It’s been years.” He continues, but you genuinely didn’t wish to attend any wedding full of relatives who’d love to dissect your life.
“I’m sure,” you lied smoothly, “i’ll just spend time with Hoon.”
“Alright, sweetie. There’s food in the fridge. Be good,” your mother kissed your cheek, oblivious to the fact that being good was the last thing on your mind after last night, but it felt nice, being taken care of and not abandoned again.
Your parents finally left, warning Sunghoon to take care of you and the house. “Finally,” he mumbled, yawning. “I thought they’d never leave. Do we have any—woah.” He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening as they locked onto your neck.
You froze. You had forgotten to pull the hood up. The hoodie had slipped, just enough to show the bruise on your neck.
“What is that?” Sunghoon asked, his voice dropping an octave, the sleepy brother persona vanishing instantly, “is that a hickey?”
“It’s nothing,” you snapped, pulling the fabric up frantically, “I burned myself with the curling iron.”
“That is not a burn, Y/N,” Sunghoon scoffed, looking at you with a mix of disbelief and protective annoyance. Then, his expression darkened. “Did Jake do that? When did you even meet him? Did you sneak out again?”
“Oh my gosh—no! Just shut up, shush.” You put your hand on his mouth but he didn’t stop.
“I knew it,” he muttered, pacing away from you, running a hand through his hair. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you go out with him. That prick. I’m going to kill him.”
“Kill who?”
Jay stood there. He looked wrecked as if he hadn’t slept much either. He looked at Sunghoon pacing, gaze flickering to you right after, then to the hand you still had clamped over your neck.
“Jake,” Sunghoon spat out, gesturing vaguely at you, “he gave her a hickey. Can you believe the audacity?”
Jay’s eyes snapped to you, “Is that so?” He asked, stepping fully into the room. He didn’t look at Sunghoon. He stared straight at you, challenging you to lie, “Jake gave you that?”
“Y’know, it doesn’t even matter,” you hissed.
“It does, I need to meet him,” Sunghoon still paced around, now with a toast in his mouth, “and knock some sense into him—when did you even meet him again? Call him right now.”
That is exactly how you found yourself calling Jake, ignoring sharp glares coming from Jay who was leaning against the kitchen island with his arms crossed, looking like he wanted to snap the phone in half with his mind.
“Hey, baby,” Jake picked up on the second ring, his voice raspy, likely just waking up. “Everything okay? Miss me?”
“Not really,” you muttered with a small smile, turning your back on Jay’s burning gaze to whisper into the receiver. “Sunghoon saw the burn mark on my neck, and uh—he thinks it’s you. He wants to talk, just tell him the truth.”
“Oh,” Jake paused, and you could practically hear the smirk in his voice, “so I’m taking the fall for your secret boyfriend? Jay perhaps? Damn, you’re cheating on me already?”
“Never say that again, okay? Now please get your ass here,” you mumbled.
“I’ll come by the evening, hm? I have some errands to run,” Jake replied, unbothered by the fact that Sunghoon wanted to kill him.
And so, you said your goodbyes and announced how Jake will come by the evening, much to Jay’s dismay as he walked closer before you could run again.
“This is fucking ridiculous, you’re gonna let him take the credit for my work?”
“It’s not credit dumbass,” you whispered back, leaning away from him as Sunghoon finally stopped pacing to glare at the both of you, “It’s a cover story. Unless you want to explain to my brother why his best friend had his tongue down my throat in the bathroom last night?”
“What are you two whispering about?” Sunghoon demanded, narrowing his eyes, and you rolled yours, going back to your room to, well, dissociate until it was evening and Jake was about to come.
Sunghoon marched to the door, pulling it open before Jake could even knock. You followed nervously, with Jay trailing behind, leaning against the archway with dark eyes. Jake stood on the porch, helmet under his arm, looking effortlessly cool in his leather jacket. He blinked at Sunghoon’s aggressive stance, then offered a lazy, charming grin that made your stomach flip—mostly because you knew Jay was watching it.
“Where is it?” Sunghoon demanded immediately, pointing at your neck where your hoodie was pulled up tight, “did you do that?”
Jake looked from Sunghoon’s furious face to your terrified one, and finally to Jay. Jay’s expression was terrifying, as if he was daring Jake to say yes.
“I can neither confirm nor deny,” Jake said smoothly, stepping inside, completely ignoring the death glare from the corner, “but I come bearing gifts.” He held up a plastic bag. “And the new Mario Tennis Fever, if you’re not scared of losing, that is.”
Sunghoon faltered, his eyes darting from the plastic bag to Jake’s face. The protective brother act cracked down the middle, revealing the competitive gamer underneath who had been complaining about that specific game being sold out for weeks.
Just like that, the trial was over.
You stood in the hallway, blinking at the sudden shift in energy, while Jay let out a dark, disbelief-filled exhale from the corner. He looked like he wanted to murder someone, and since Sunghoon was currently plugging in the console, his eyes landed on you.
“You’re sitting with me,” Jay muttered, grabbing you along with him. He steered you toward the plush leather sofa in the back of the room, shoving you into the corner cushion before dropping down right next to you. And he meant right next to you.
The sofa was huge, big enough for four people, but Jay sat so close that his thigh pressed heavily against yours, he spread his legs, claiming the space with an arrogant entitlement that forced you to shrink back, effectively boxing you in between the armrest and his hard, imposing frame. Sunghoon and Jake were already lost to the world, sitting cross-legged on the rug three feet away, screaming as the game menu music blasted through the speakers.
Jay let out a sharp, derisive exhale through his nose, slumping back against the cushions. He crossed his arms over his chest, his dark eyes boring into the back of Jake’s head with enough intensity to burn a hole through his skull.
“This is my hell,” he deadpanned, “stuck in a room with two idiots fighting over a virtual tennis ball.”
“They’re having fun,” you whispered back, keeping your eyes glued to the screen, terrified that if you looked at him, you’d do something stupid like lean in. “You should try it sometime.”
“I am having fun,” Jay murmured, and the tone of his voice sent a shiver straight down your spine.
He uncrossed his arms, draping along the back of the sofa behind your head—casual to anyone watching, but to you, it felt like a cage closing shut. His fingers began to toy with the fabric of your hoodie near your shoulder, an idle motion that was maddeningly distracting.
“Nice shot, Jake!” You blurted out as Jake’s character scored, desperate to break the suffocating tension Jay was building.
The hand on your shoulder tightened instantly.
“Don’t,” Jay warned, his breath hot against your ear as he leaned in.
“Don’t what?” you hissed, glancing nervously at Sunghoon’s back.
“Don’t cheer for him,” he whispered, his hand sliding up from your shoulder to the nape of your neck. His thumb slipped under the heavy cotton of your hood, finding the warm skin there, pressing directly against the sensitive spot right next to the bruise he’d left. “Don’t smile at him. And don’t act like you aren’t thinking about whose hand is on you right now.”
“Jay—”
His fingers stroked the bruise, a possessive, claiming touch that made your breath hitch in your throat. Sunghoon and Jake were screaming about a tie-breaker, completely oblivious to the fact that Jay was dismantling you inches away from them.
“Does he know?” Jay asked, his voice dropping, “does your little fake boyfriend know that the mark under this hoodie is shaped like my mouth? Or does he think you got it from a curling iron too?”
You turned your head to glare at him, but it was a mistake. He was too close. His eyes were dark, dilated, and focused entirely on your lips.
“He knows enough,” you lied, trying to sound brave.
“He knows nothing,” Jay corrected, his thumb digging in slightly, sending a jolt of pleasure-pain through your system.
“Jay!” Sunghoon shouted suddenly, making you jump. “Pizza’s here! Go get it, I’m in a match.”
He kept his gaze locked on you, a cruel, satisfied smirk playing on his lips as he saw the flush rising on your cheeks. He pulled his hand out from under your hood slowly, letting his knuckles drag against your spine one last time before standing up, “saved by the bell,” he murmured, walking past you to get the door.
The reprieve was short-lived. When the boxes were sprawled open on the coffee table, the dynamic shifted from the sofa to the floor. You tried to sit next to Jake, hoping for a buffer, but Jay was faster. He slid into the empty space between you and the wall, his long legs sprawling out to cage you in.
“Move over,” you muttered, nudging his knee.
“Make me,” Jay replied, taking a slice of pepperoni without looking at you.
Under the concealment of the low table, while Sunghoon and Jake argued about the merits of pineapple on pizza, Jay’s hand dropped to your thigh. It wasn’t a gentle touch. His palm was heavy and hot, gripping the flesh just above your knee with a possessiveness that made your breath hitch.
“So, Y/N,” Jake asked, leaning in, “the fuck is Jay up to?” He asked, staring at Jay’s hand.
“Uh—I,” you stammered, your mind going blank as Jay’s thumb began to stroke the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, inching higher with every word you spoke.
“Need an escape? Or do you like it?” Jake asked with a smirk.
You glared at him, but he just took a bite of his pizza, his eyes dancing with dark amusement. The friction of Jay’s hand against your jeans was becoming unbearable, a secret heat building low in your belly that had nothing to do with the food.
“I need some air,” you blurted out, scrambling up before his hand could go any higher.
You didn’t wait for a response. You grabbed your hidden pack of cigarettes from your pocket and bolted for the back patio, sliding the glass door shut behind you. The cool night air hit your flushed face, a welcome relief from the suffocating tension inside. You fumbled with the lighter, the flame illuminating your shaking hands as you took a drag, the nicotine hitting your system with a dizzying rush.
You barely got the second drag in before the door slid open again. You didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. The scent of tobacco and expensive cologne washed over you before he even spoke.
“I thought we agreed on you stopping this,” Jay’s voice was low, coming from right behind you.
Before you could react, he reached over your shoulder and plucked the cigarette from your fingers. But instead of crushing it, he brought it to his own lips, taking a slow, deep drag while staring at your profile.
“I needed it,” you whispered, refusing to look at him.
“You didn’t need this,” Jay murmured, exhaling a cloud of smoke, stepping closer, crowding you against the railing until your hips dug into the cold metal. “You needed to escape because you couldn’t handle me touching you while he was right there.”
“You’re delusional,” you snapped, turning to face him.
“Am I?” Jay challenged, flicking the cigarette into the garden below. He gripped the railing on either side of you, trapping you in the circle of his arms. “You were trembling at the table, Y/N. You think because he’s in the other room, you’re safe? I could bend you over this railing right now, and by the time he paused the game to look for you, you’d already be finished getting the best pleasure of your life.”
“You wouldn’t,” you challenged, though the tremor in your voice betrayed you instantly, “Sunghoon is ten feet away. The glass is right there.”
“And yet,” Jay murmured, stepping in until his body was flush against yours, pressing you so hard into the wrought iron that the metal bit into your lower back, “you’re not pushing me away, princess.”
He didn’t wait for a retort. His hand slid from the railing to your throat, his thumb pressing directly over the bruise he’d left, pulsing with a steady, heavy rhythm. The contact was electric, a live wire connecting his possession to your submission.
“Open your mouth,” he ordered softly, his eyes dropping to your lips.
When you hesitated, he used his grip on your jaw to tilt your head back, his other hand sliding down your spine to grip your hip, fingers digging into the denim. He crashed his mouth onto yours, and this time, it tasted of the smoke he’d stolen from you and the dark, bitter desire he’d been marinating in all evening.
He kissed you like he was trying to erase the very idea of Jake from your mind, his tongue sweeping into your mouth with a possessive, rhythmic cadence that made your knees buckle. You gasped, the sound swallowed by his mouth, and he took advantage of it, grinding his hips against yours in a slow, deliberate friction that made a jolt of pure heat shoot straight to your core.
“Tell me who you belong to," he groaned against your lips, biting down on your bottom lip hard enough to sting, “say it.”
“Not you,” you whimpered, your hands clutching the lapels of his jacket, “never you.”
“So pretty when you’re in denial,” he spat against your mouth, his hand sliding aggressively between your thighs, the denim of your jeans the only thing saving you from his fingers as he grounded the heel of his palm against your center with a pressure that made your vision white out, “If I don’t own you, why are you trembling? Why are you so wet you’re ruining these shorts?”
You choked on a sob, your head falling back, exposing your throat to him. He took it, burying his face in the crook of your neck, sucking a fresh mark right over the old one, claiming you all over again while his hand worked a rhythm against your seam that made your knees give out completely.
“Tell Sunghoon, tell Jake. Scream for them right now, Y/N. Let them see you like this, hm? Desperate and dripping for the man you claim you hate.”
He waited, his hand still applying that maddening friction, his breath hot and ragged against your skin. He gave you the chance, he gave you the out, and you didn’t take it, you couldn’t. You just gripped his jacket tighter, your nails digging into his shoulders, surrendering to the humiliating truth that your body had chosen him long before your mind ever would.
“That’s what I thought,” Jay whispered, the cruelty in his voice mixed with a terrifying tenderness.
He pulled away abruptly, the loss of his heat leaving you gasping and cold in the night air. He didn’t look back at the mess he’d made of you, didn’t offer a hand to steady you as you slumped against the railing. He just smoothed down his jacket, fixed his hair in the reflection of the glass door, and slid it open.
“Better hurry up,” he called over his shoulder, his voice terrifyingly normal as the sound of the game flooded back out. “Pizza’s getting cold.”
“I actually like your boyfriend, I approve,” Sunghoon nodded once you composed yourself and sat down yet again.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” you blurted out.
Sunghoon paused, a slice of pepperoni halfway to his mouth, blinking in confusion. “What? But the neck thing—the hickey?”
“He’s just—ugh, I told you that’s from the curling iron,” you muttered, refusing to look at Jake, who was currently grinning like the cat who got the canary. You focused intently on the grain of the coffee table, anything to avoid the eyes, “and he’s just flirty. I haven’t seen him in three years, Sunghoon. We aren’t dating.”
Jake clutched his chest, feigning a dramatic heart attack, slumping slightly against the sofa. “Wounded, truly. And here I thought we had something special. I brought you video games and everything.”
You risked a glance at Jay. He wasn’t looking at Sunghoon or Jake, he was looking right at you. He sat back against the sofa, legs spread with that infuriating arrogance, slowly chewing his pizza. He didn’t look angry anymore, he looked—satisfied? He knew. He knew exactly why you were denying it. It wasn’t for Sunghoon’s benefit, It was submission, a direct answer to the question he’d forced out of you against the railing. Not him. You were denying Jake because Jay’s touch was still burning on your skin, because five minutes ago you were begging him not to stop.
“Well,” Sunghoon shrugged, chewing thoughtfully, completely oblivious to basically everything, “he’s cool anyway! You should date him, just keep the circle small. Plus, he’s better than those other guys you used to hang out with.”
“I’m not dating anyone,” you snapped, grabbing a slice of cold pizza just to have something to do with your trembling hands.
“Suit yourself,” Jake hummed, leaning in closer, his arm brushing yours just to test your reaction, and well, Jay’s reaction, “but I’m still the favourite.”
He reached out, his thumb grazing your cheekbone, “you’ve got a little smudge right—”
Jay dropped his glass onto the table forcefully, the sound was sharp, silencing the room instantly.
“You’re practically crowding her,” Jay said, “back off, Jake. She needs to eat.”
Jake froze, his smile stiffening at the edges. Sunghoon looked between them, brow furrowed, sensing the sudden spike in temperature but misinterpreting the source.
“Relax, Jay,” Jake laughed, though it sounded hollow. He pulled his hand back, surrendering the space, holding his palms up in mock surrender, “just trying to help.”
“Just saying,” Jay murmured, picking up his glass again.
He took a slow sip, his gaze sliding over the rim of the glass to lock onto yours, looking at your swollen lips, then down to your hands shaking around the pizza crust, and a ghost of a smirk touched his lips.
“She looks exhausted,” Jay finished smoothly, his voice dropping an octave, “let her breathe.”
You swallowed hard, your heart hammering against your ribs. He was protecting you. Wait, was he actually? Oh no—he was claiming you right in front of them.
And God help you, you liked it.
The rain had been hammering against the floor-to-ceiling windows for six hours straight now, which was honestly horrible since you were stuck dreading the fact that you couldn’t go out, it was kind of a relentless, suffocating downpour that made the house feel less like a home and more like a cage.
It was just past 1:00 AM on Friday.
Sunghoon had gone up hours ago, mumbling something about his class tomorrow, which was odd because why does he have classes on Saturday? But that left you alone in the sprawling, dim living room. You were sitting on the plush rug, your back pressed against the base of the sofa, knees pulled up to your chest. The only light came from the faint, ambient glow of the garden lights filtering through the rain, casting long, distorted shadows across the hardwood floor.
In your hand, a heavy crystal glass rested against your knee. You took a slow sip, letting the amber liquid coat your tongue before swallowing. It helped unclasp the knot of anxiety that had been tightening there all day. It was the good stuff, the twenty-year-old single malt your father kept hidden in the back of the mahogany cabinet, reserved for, well, business deals and celebrations. You weren’t really celebrating, just trying to numb the static in your head.
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw it—the flash of Jay’s eyes on the balcony, the way his hand had looked wrapped around your throat—large, veined, and god terrifyingly possessive. The way he had looked at you when you denied Jake, as if he had reached into your chest and pulled the truth out of your beating heart.
Not him.
You hated that you had said it, you hated that you had given him that satisfaction. But mostly, you hated that sitting here, in the dark, with the taste of expensive whiskey on your lips, you were waiting for him.
“That’s a waste of a good vintage.”
The voice was low, wrapping around you in the darkness, and you didn’t react, just tipping the glass back, finishing the swallow before lowering it to your knee, staring steadfastly at the rain-streaked glass.
“I’m not wasting it,” you muttered, “I’m appreciating it. Go away, Jay.”
You expected him to lecture you saying put the glass down, Y/N. Instead, you heard the soft clink of crystal against crystal.
Jay walked around the sofa, coming into your peripheral vision, and for a change, he wasn’t wearing his stiff button-down, no styled hair, no watch. He was in a loose gray t-shirt that hung off his broad shoulders and black sweatpants that sat low on his hips. His hair was damp, falling into his eyes, messy and unkempt in a way that made him look somehow prettier.
He sank down onto the floor next to you, leaving barely a foot of space between your arms—but close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off him. He held up his own glass next to yours.
“I didn’t ask you to stop,” he murmured, taking a slow sip, his eyes fixed on the window, “just said don’t waste it. Sip it, hm?”
You turned your head to look at him, suspicion narrowing your eyes, “since when do you encourage my so called bad habits? I thought your job was to police me or whatever.”
“My job is to keep you safe,” he corrected calmly, resting his head back against the sofa cushion and closing his eyes, “If a drink keeps you from climbing out the window and breaking your other ankle, then I’ll pour it for you myself.”
“I’m not going to climb out the window,” you huffed, turning back to the view, though your grip on the glass tightened, “it’s raining anyway.”
“I know.”
“And I’m not a child.”
“Debatable.”
“Shut up.”
He chuckled, and you sat in silence for a long time, just the relentless drumming of the rain and the occasional rhythmic clink of ice shifting in the glasses, but your heart felt warm. It was terrifyingly domestic. This was your enemy, this man was your snitch, this was the man who had ruined your life three years ago. And yet, sitting here in the dark, stripped of the audience and the expectations, the hatred felt rather heavy. You were so tired of carrying it.
“You’re shaking,” Jay said.
He hadn’t even opened his eyes, but somehow he knew—he always knew.
“I’m cold,” you lied, taking another sip.
“Yeah sure. You’re a liar,” he countered softly.
He opened his eyes then, turning his head on the cushion to look at you, watching you for a moment, tracing the line of your profile, the curve of your neck, the way your fingers curled around the glass.
“Why are you down here, Jay?” You whispered, “you have a whole house to avoid me in.”
“Maybe I’m tired of avoiding you,’ he said simply.
The honesty knocked the wind out of you, making you gulp. You tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, looking away, heart hammering.
“You’re just bored—you like having a punching bag. You like proving that you’re better than me.”
“Is that what you think this is?” Jay shifted, turning his body fully toward you, “you think I enjoy fighting with you?”
“Oh please, you seem to love it,” you muttered into your glass, “you practically vibrate with joy every time you get to tell me what a disappointment I am.”
“I don’t think you’re a disappointment, Y/N.”
You looked up, eyes wide, searching his face for the lie, for the sarcasm, only to find that he wasn’t really joking about it, not this time.
“Don’t,” you warned, your voice trembling, “don’t do that, don’t pretend like you care.”
“I’m not pretending.”
He reached out for you, and you flinched instinctively, making him pause, his hand hovering in the air between you. A flicker of something pained crossed his face, there and gone in a second. He waited, giving you the chance to pull away. When you didn’t move, he continued the movement, but slower this time. His fingers brushed against your temple, tucking that same loose strand of hair behind your ear. His knuckles grazed your cheekbone—a touch so agonizingly gentle it made your breath hitch in your throat.
His hand didn’t pull away. His thumb rested on your jaw, the calloused pad of his finger ghosting over the corner of your mouth.
“You’re still swollen,” he murmured, his voice dropping to a rough timbre that sent a shiver straight down your spine.
“And whose fault is that?” You breathed, turning your face slightly into his palm without meaning to. You were starving for this, you hated him, but god, you were starving for him to touch you like you weren’t a mistake.
“Yours,” he replied, but the word was a caress, “for making me go crazy.”
The air between you thickened, the whiskey making you brave, making you soft. You looked at him—really looked at him—and saw the way his eyes dropped to your lips, the way his pupils blew wide, swallowing the iris.
“I hate you,” you whispered, but it lacked its usual bite, sounding more like a plea.
“I know,” Jay whispered back, his thumb dragging across your bottom lip, tugging it slightly, “tell me again.”
“I hate you.”
“Good.”
He leaned in, just an inch. The scent of him filled your senses, drowning out the logic that screamed at you to run. You found yourself leaning forward too, the magnetic pull of three years of obsession dragging you in. You wanted him to kiss you. You wanted him to erase the last three years with his mouth.
Thump.
A heavy footstep creaked on the floorboards directly above you. Sunghoon rolling over in bed.
The sound shattered the world like glass.
Jay pulled back instantly, the loss of his touch physical, leaving your skin cold and aching. He cleared his throat, the sound harsh in the quiet room, and grabbed his glass, downing the rest of the liquid in one swallow.
The mask slammed back into place. The vulnerability vanished behind a wall of composed indifference, though you saw the tension in his jaw, the way his knuckles were white around the glass.
“Don’t stay up too late,” he said, his voice tight, rough with regret. He stood up, towering over you again, putting miles of distance between you in a single second, “Sunghoon has an early lecture tomorrow. He insists on taking you with him.”
“Jay—” you started, reaching out, your hand trembling.
“Go to sleep, Y/N,” he cut you off, refusing to look at you, “before one of us does something stupid, again.”
He turned and walked away toward the guest room, the darkness swallowing him up, leaving you sitting on the floor with a half-empty glass of whiskey and a heart that was beating fast enough to bruise.
The morning light was harsh, unfiltered, and utterly unforgiving as it streamed through the kitchen windows, burning your retinas. You sat at the kitchen island, nursing a black coffee that tasted horrendous, wearing oversized sunglasses to hide the fact that you had stared at the ceiling till 4 AM, replaying the way Jay’s thumb had felt on your lip.
Sunghoon was bustling around the kitchen, shoving textbooks into his bag, looking annoyingly fresh-faced and energetic.
“Come on, let’s go,” Sunghoon said, tapping the counter with a spoon, “I have a lecture in twenty minutes and if I’m late, Professor Kim will burn me alive. And you—” he pointed the spoon at you, “—are not leaving my sight.”
“I am not a child, Hoon,” you groaned, dropping your head onto your folded arms, “I can stay home, I won’t burn it down. I promise not to let any boys in.”
“Last time I left you alone, you ended up in a police station,” Sunghoon countered cheerfully, tossing an apple at you, you caught it blindly, “get in the car.”
You looked up, ready to argue, but your eyes landed on the doorway.
Jay was leaning against the frame, keys in hand.
He was back in his armor, a crisp white button-down, sleeves rolled up to the elbows to reveal the veins in his forearms, black slacks, hair styled to perfection. He looked immaculate, he looked like he hadn’t spent the night drinking whiskey on the floor with you, he almost looked like a stranger.
He caught your eye, his expression being blank, bored even.
“Let’s go," Jay said coolly, spinning the keys on his finger, “traffic is going to be hell.”
You grabbed your bag, scowling as you walked past him, making sure to bump his shoulder hard enough to be annoying but not hard enough to start a fight.
“You’re in my way,” you muttered.
“As I’ll always be,” he murmured instantly, low enough that only you could hear.
You suppressed a shiver and marched to the car.
The ride was suffocating, Sunghoon sat in the front passenger seat, talking about his lectures for the day while you sat in the back, staring at the back of Jay’s head. You watched his eyes in the rearview mirror and he was watching you back. Every time you looked up, he was there, checking on you, his gaze heavy and unreadable.
When you finally pulled up to the University, the campus was a chaotic sea of students. It was loud, crowded, and overwhelming. You stepped out of the car, adjusting your bag, feeling small and out of place in your leather jacket and boots among the sea of polished students.
“Okay,” Sunghoon said, checking his watch as he slammed the door, “I have to go to the biochem lab. Guests aren’t allowed inside, please stay safe here.”
“So I can wait in the car?” You asked hopefully.
“No,” Jay answered before Sunghoon could. He locked the car, pocketing the keys, “it’s too hot inside. Just wait on the bench near the quad. It’s right in front of the building. We’ll be sixty minutes.”
“Sixty minutes?” You groaned, leaning against the car, “I’ll die of boredom.”
“Stay put,” Jay ordered, stepping into your personal space. He reached out and fixed the collar of your jacket, a gesture that looked brotherly to anyone watching but felt possessive to you, “don’t wander off, don’t talk to strangers, and don’t make me come find you.”
“Yes, dad,” you rolled your eyes, slapping his hand away.
Jay’s lip twitched, but he didn’t smile, “be good.”
He turned and walked away with Sunghoon, the two of them disappearing into the crowd of students.
You sat on the bench, sighing, pulling your phone out to doom-scroll. You lasted about ten minutes before the boredom became unbearable. You stood up to stretch your legs, pacing a small circle around the bench, kicking at a loose stone, then a guy approached you when you least expected it.
“Excuse me?”
You stopped kicking the loose gravel, looking up to find a guy in a navy windbreaker standing there, shifting his weight from one foot to the other like he was debating whether to run or stay.
“I know this is random,” he started, offering a lopsided, dimpled grin that was charming, “but I saw you waiting and I just thought—are you a student here? Or maybe waiting for somebody?”
You let out a breath, offering him a polite smile, the kind you used to let people down gently, “I’m just waiting for my brother, he has a terrible concept of time.”
“Ah—I’m Jungwon by the way,” he offered, stepping a little closer, confident but not aggressive, “if your brother doesn’t show up, or if you get tired of waiting, maybe I could get your number? There’s a decent coffee spot around the corner, way comfy than this curb.”
You blinked, realizing he was harmless, just a guy shooting his shot, so you softened your expression slightly, “I’m not interested, sorry, but thanks for the offer, Jungwon.”
“Ah, worth a try,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck, seemingly unbothered. “Have a good day, then.”
“You too,” you replied, keeping the small, friendly smile on your face as he turned to walk away.
Then the air pressure dropped, a sudden shift in the atmosphere that made the hair on your arms stand up, and you turned your head toward the main building to see Jay standing at the top of the concrete stairs. He was about forty yards away, with Sunghoon next to him checking his watch, completely oblivious, but Jay was motionless, one hand jammed deep into his pocket and the other gripping his phone so hard his knuckles were bleached white.
He wasn’t looking at Jungwon, he was looking at you. He had seen the exchange, the lean in, the easy body language, but mostly he had seen the smile, that soft, unguarded expression you had offered a total stranger, a look you hadn’t given Jay in three years.
“Finally,” you muttered as they reached the car, trying to ignore the knot forming in your stomach.
Jay didn’t even look at you, walking past you like you were invisible, unlocking the car with a sharp chirp and sliding into the driver’s seat without a word. The drive home was a masterclass in suffocation, Sunghoon chattering about his lab partner and filling the void while Jay drove with a dangerous focus, refusing to turn on the radio or check the rearview mirror, just staring at the asphalt while radiating a cold, dark silence.
The atmosphere in the house was no better, it was worse.
For hours, Jay orchestrated a silence so loud it rattled the windows, existing as a ghost in your periphery. If you entered the kitchen to grab water, he would immediately set his glass down and walk out without a word. If you sat on the couch, he would stand up and move to the armchair, angling his body away from you as if your very existence offended him. It was a stark, violent contrast to the blurred lines of last night.
Last night, the air between you had been thick with whiskey and reckless candor, his knee knocking against yours under the table, his eyes tracking the movement of your throat when you laughed. Last night, he had poured your drink with this soft attentiveness, looking at you like he wanted to devour you.
Tonight, he looked at you like he wanted to erase you.
By 9:00 PM, the toxicity was choking you, the whiplash of his mood swings making your skin crawl. You couldn’t breathe in the living room anymore, the air too thick with his unspoken judgment and the memory of how warm he had been only twenty-four hours ago. You stormed into the garage, the motion-sensor light flickering on to reveal the sleek, matte-black body of your motorcycle, and you were surprised to see how your parents hadn’t thrown it away.
You yanked the tarp off, dust motes dancing in the harsh overhead light. You grabbed your helmet from the shelf, your hands shaking with a mix of adrenaline and fury, and zipped up your leather jacket, the sound of the zipper loud in the quiet concrete space. You needed wind, you needed speed, you needed to outrun the headache Jay was giving you.
Straddling the bike, you kicked the stand up and turned the key. The dashboard lit up, and you hit the ignition, the engine roaring to life with a guttural growl. You walked the bike down the driveway, the heavy tires crunching over the gravel, the exhaust puffing white clouds into the cold night air. You were just about to kick it into gear when a shadow detached itself from the porch.
“Turn it off.” Jay stepped into the ring of amber light cast by the streetlamp. He was still in his clothes from earlier, looking pissed, his eyes fixed on the revving engine with cold disapproval.
“Oh now you’re talking to me? Move, Jay,” you snapped, flipping your visor up so he could see the glare in your eyes, your gloved hands gripping the clutch.
“It’s late,” he stated, his voice flat, “and you’re not riding alone. It’s not safe.”
“I didn’t ask for permission.” You revved the engine, “and I’m certainly not asking you. You’ve been treating me like a ghost for six hours, you don’t get to pretend you give a damn about my safety.”
“I’m not pretending,” he said, stepping right into your path. He reached out and grabbed the center of the handlebars, “I’m just not letting you run off just because you’re in a mood.”
“I’m in a mood?” You let out a sharp, disbelief-filled scoff, “I’m leaving because you’re impossible. Last night you were fine, and today you’re looking at me like I committed a felony. I don’t even know what I did, Jay.”
He didn’t answer immediately. His jaw locked tight, a muscle feathering in his cheek. He looked down at your hands on the grips, then back up to your face, his gaze darkening.
“You’re too loose,” he muttered, the criticism slipping out low, “you let people get too comfortable too fast.”
You froze, the engine purring beneath you. Too comfortable? You hadn’t seen a soul all evening except him and Sunghoon. Unless. The realization clicked into place. The wait at the university, Jungwon, the polite smile you gave him when you turned him down.
“Wait.” You leaned forward over the tank, searching his face, “Is that what this is? You saw that guy at the pickup spot?”
Jay didn’t say anything, but his eyes narrowed, giving him away completely.
“You’re kidding,” you scoffed, the absurdity of it hitting you, “you’ve been acting like a psycho all night because I didn’t tell a stranger to go to hell? You’re fucking jealous—oh my god.”
“I’m not jealous,” he snapped, the denial coming too fast, “I just don’t like watching you be naive.”
“You are,” you challenged, pointing a gloved finger at his chest, “you’re jealous, Jay. And it’s pathetic.”
He stared at you, his chest heaving slightly, caught in the lie but refusing to fold. He didn’t move and didn’t bother defending himself further. He just tightened his grip on the bike, his knuckles turning white, staring at you with an intensity that said everything his pride wouldn’t let him speak.
“Get off the bike,” he warned.
“No,” you retorted, done playing his games.
You shifted your weight, kicking the bike into neutral for a split second to stare him down. You looked back at the empty passenger seat behind you, then back to him with a dare carved into your expression.
“I’m leaving, Jay,” you warned, your voice steady over the purr of the engine, “so either hop on or fuck off.”
Jay scoffed, but did he have any choice? You were too stubborn for your own good and so, he snatched the helmet from the rack, shoving it over his head, not bothering with the clasp. He swung a leg over the seat behind you, the bike dipping aggressively under his sudden, heavy weight.
The suspension groaned, and suddenly the space was gone. His chest pressed flush against your back, a wall of solid, suffocating heat that cut right through your leather jacket. His thighs clamped against yours, locking you in, and his arms wound around your waist, his hands gripping your stomach not to hold on, but to restrain.
“Drive,” he commanded, his voice muffled by the helmet but vibrating directly against your spine, “before I drag you off this thing myself.”
You didn’t hesitate, a scoff leaving your lips as you kicked the bike, the rear tire spinning on the gravel, spitting stones before biting into the asphalt. You launched forward, the G-force throwing Jay back against the sissy bar before his grip tightened, crushing the air out of your lungs.
You drove just how you felt, it was angry, tearing through the suburban streets, banking the bike so low on the turns that the footpegs scraped the pavement, sending showers of orange sparks dying in the wind. You pushed the RPMs into the red, the engine screaming, weaving through the late-night traffic with a recklessness that bordered on a death wish.
You wanted him to be scared. You wanted him to tap your shoulder, to beg you to slow down, but Jay didn’t flinch, he knew you liked speed, and how reckless you got with it. He just knew he had to be here, providing some kind of anchor to it.
Twenty minutes of adrenaline-fueled chaos later, you skidded into the empty lot of the old industrial park near the river—a wasteland of concrete and shipping containers. You killed the engine while the bike was still rolling, letting it jerk to a halt. Silence crashed down instantly, ringing in your ears.
You kicked the stand down and shoved his hands off your waist. You swung your leg over and ripped your helmet off, gasping for air, the cold night hitting your sweat-dampened skin. Jay was already off the bike, slamming his helmet onto the seat, his hair messy, his eyes wild.
“What the hell was that?” He snapped, voice rough as he stared at you being so normal about it.
“That’s called a bike ride, Jay,” you shot back, trying to appear calm, but you weren’t even close to it.
“That was not riding, you have a fucking death wish,” he said, stepping closer and into your personal space before you could even process your bearings.
“Aw, you’re scared, hm? You wanted to come along, Jay, you knew very well what you were getting into.”
“I knew you liked to speed, but fucking hell—i didn’t think you’d lose your mind like that,” he hissed, eyes dark and fixed on yours—he looked as if he wished to shake you and pull you into a hug at the same damn time, “all this cause what? You’re pissed at me.”
“I’m pissed because you’ve been a ghost all day!” You yelled, the frustration finally boiling over, stinging behind your eyes. You stepped closer, your boots scuffing against his, refusing to back down, “honestly, what even do you want Jay? You treat me like I’m some problem, yet you keep looking right through me for hours, and then you hop on my bike and act like you’re my shadow? Pick a side, Jay!”
He opened his mouth to bark back, his jaw locked so tight a muscle feathered in his cheek, but then he just—stopped. He saw the way your hands were shaking against the side of your legs, the way your chest was heaving not just from anger, but from the adrenaline crash that was about to hit you like a freight train. The fire in his eyes changed—shifting from pure rage to a heavy, exhausted sort of focus.
“Shh,” he muttered, the sound rough and low.
“Don’t shh me, I’m not done—”
“I said shh.” He didn’t give you a choice. He reached out, his fingers locking around your wrist with a grip that was absolute. He simply ended up pulling you toward the low concrete barrier that lined the river’s edge.
He sat down first, the heavy fabric of his jeans brushing against the stone, and before you could even think about sitting next to him, he tugged you forward by the waist, pulling you directly down onto his lap.
“Jay, let go, I’m not doing this,” you grumbled, trying to twist away, but his arms wound around you like iron bands, locking you against his chest.
“Just stay put,” he commanded, his voice muffled against the shoulder of your leather jacket. He sounded wrecked. He didn’t let go of your hand, either; he caught it, interlacing his fingers with yours and pinning them against his thigh.
You tried to yank your hand back once, then twice, “I’m serious, Jay. Let go.” You weren’t sure if you even wanted that, especially when this moment felt too intimate for two people who claimed to hate each other.
“No.” He squeezed tighter. “You’re still shaking, just stay still.”
You let out a sharp, frustrated breath, rigid against him, but the cold wind off the river was starting to bite, and his body was radiating a heat that soaked right through your jacket. You eventually slumped against him, the fight draining out of you as you rested your head near his neck, surrounded by the scent of his cologne and the lingering smell of exhaust.
For a long time, the only sound was the wind coming off the black water and the faint, metallic tick-tick-tick of the bike cooling down behind you. The adrenaline had completely burned out of your system, leaving you feeling hollowed out and heavy. Jay didn’t move, his thumb just kept tracing a slow, repetitive line over the knuckles of your gloved hand, a steady rhythm that matched the heartbeat thudding against your spine.
“I wasn’t going to crash, you know,” you murmured, hating how small your voice sounded.
You felt him let out a slow, jagged breath, “could’ve fooled me,” he muttered, his voice rough.
“I’m not stupid, Jay. I wouldn’t do that shit with you sitting at the back, and you know it.”
The rhythmic movement of his thumb paused, “so you’d do it without me? Are you hearing yourself right now?” His voice held anger but it came out rather quiet, which was scary, “is it because you are pissed, huh? Because of what happened earlier.”
You pulled back just a fraction, frowning at the side of his neck, “what happened earlier? You mean you acting like I didn’t exist for six straight hours?”
“You know what I mean,” he finally turned his head, his eyes were dark in the dim light of the lot, searching your face, “the guy at the coffee cart.”
You let out a dry, tired scoff, shaking your head slightly, this was incredulous, “are we really doing this? He just asked for my number, Jay. I didn’t even give it to him.”
“But you smiled at him,” he said it like an accusation, but it lacked the vicious bite from your argument, It just sounded heavy.
You stared at him, the realization slowly washing over the lingering anger in your chest. The brooding, the silent treatment, the way he’d gripped you on the bike like he was terrified of letting go, “you were jealous of a smile? Jay, what’s wrong with you?”
Jay swallowed hard, his jaw clenching, not bothering to lie this time, “I hated it,” he admitted, his voice dropping to a rasp, “seeing him get to talk to you like it was nothing—like he didn’t have to wade through three years of absolute hell just to get you to look at him, you don’t even look at me unless it’s to fight back.”
You stared at him, pulling your hand free from his, but instead of pulling away, you rested your palm against his chest, pissed still because he was the one who riled you up each time, calm because communication was a foreign concept when it concerned you both.
“Jay,” you said softly, “you irritate me so fucking much, then you want me to smile at you when you ignore me?” Jay groaned at this, yet you continued, “and yes I tried to run cause i was tired of this back and forth, but you won’t even let me drive, you piss me off I swear.”
He leaned forward, shifting your position now, resting his forehead heavily against yours. His eyes fluttered shut as he let out a breath he seemed to have been holding since the university, “don’t do it again,” he breathed against your skin, not even sure if it was about the guy or the speeding, or well, both, “don’t drive like that when I’m right here.”
“Then don’t freeze me out,” you countered, your voice barely above a whisper.
He didn’t answer with words. He just shifted his grip, one hand sliding up your back to press you a fraction closer, holding you there until the last of the tremors finally left your hands, staring at you as you rested against his chest, looking so pretty, so peaceful, and Jay swears he’d have done anything to have you back like this.
His eyes drifted back to your lips, gulping before he looked elsewhere.
Eventually, he pulled back, the cold air rushing in to fill the space between you. He looked exhausted. He reached out, his fingers brushing the zipper of your jacket before dropping to your hip, where your keys were clipped.
“Give me the keys,” he said quietly.
You didn’t argue, you unclipped them and dropped them into his waiting palm. Jay stood up, bringing you with him. He swung his leg over the front of the bike, taking the driver’s seat. You climbed on behind him, the dynamic instantly shifting. You wrapped your arms around his waist, sliding your hands into the front pocket of his hoodie, and pressed your cheek flat against his back, and Jay was just glad you couldn’t see his face at the moment.
He kicked the engine to life, and the ride home was entirely different. He drove with a smooth, protective precision, his body naturally leaning to shield you from the worst of the wind. By the time he pulled into the garage and killed the engine, sealing you both in the warm, amber light, the hostility was gone. He stayed seated, resting his hands on his thighs, and covered your hands with his own.
“We’re home,” he whispered into the quiet.
“Yeah,” you murmured back, squeezing his waist. And for the first time all day, it actually felt like it.
The heavy, amber light of the garage clicked off, plunging the space into darkness, but the warmth between you didn’t fade as you both finally stepped off the bike and walked inside. The mudroom was quiet, the sleeping house wrapping around you, but the suffocating hostility that had choked you for the past three years was completely gone.
Jay stopped at the base of the stairs. He didn’t walk past you. He turned, his dark eyes searching your face in the shadows. Before you could even think to put your walls back up, he stepped into your space and wrapped his arms around you.
You let out a shaky breath, your hands hesitantly coming up to grip the soft cotton of his hoodie as you buried your face in his chest. Your heart did a violent, frantic stutter against your ribs, a sudden swarm of butterflies erupting in your stomach. It felt painfully nostalgic and terrifyingly real.
He pressed his cheek to the top of your head, holding you tight enough that you could feel the steady, heavy thud of his own heartbeat mirroring yours, “I’m tired of fighting you,” he murmured into your hair, his voice stripped of all its armor.
“I’m tired too,” you whispered into his chest.
He pulled back just enough to look at you. His hand slid up to cup your face, his thumb brushing along your jawline—agonizingly soft, before he leaned down. The kiss was slow, barely a press of his lips against yours, sweet and hesitant. It wasn’t fueled by anger or jealousy really, it was a quiet apology for the last six hours, and maybe the last three years.
When he pulled away, he kept his forehead resting against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet hallway, “tomorrow,” he promised, “no more running, princess, we’ll figure this out, yeah? We’ll talk.”
“Tomorrow,” you agreed softly, leaning into his touch for one last heartbeat before he finally let you go upstairs, eyes not leaving you till the door of your room closed with a soft thud, him trying his best to bite his lip, not letting the goofy smile spread on his face.
The next morning felt entirely different. You woke up without that familiar dread sitting on your chest, instead, the butterflies were back, fluttering wildly at the thought of facing him. You actually took your time getting dressed, catching yourself smiling at the mirror as you replayed the soft press of his lips and the absolute certainty in his voice. You were ready for that talk, you were ready to finally put the bitterness away.
When you walked downstairs, however, Jay was already gone. Sunghoon was in a complete panic, tearing through the kitchen looking for his notes for a weekend seminar. Before you could even ask where Jay had gone, Sunghoon had practically dragged you into the passenger seat of his car, on a fucking Sunday, insisting he couldn’t leave you home alone and that dropping off his project would only take twenty minutes.
You didn’t mind the detour honestly, leaning against a concrete planter in the campus quad while Sunghoon ran inside, letting the crisp morning air wash over you. You were mindlessly looking around, but your thoughts kept drifting back to the hallway. To the way your heart had hammered when he kissed you. To the undeniable feeling that after three years of hell, you were finally on the verge of something beautiful.
You allowed yourself a small, secret smile, fingertips absently tracing the faint bruise still hidden beneath the collar of your hoodie. Then your gaze caught on a familiar silhouette across the quad.
Jay stood near the library steps, sleeves of his black button-up rolled to the elbows, the morning light catching the sharp line of his jaw. He was not alone. A girl lingered close beside him—long dark hair swaying as she laughed at something he said, her hand resting lightly on his forearm in a gesture that spoke of easy familiarity. She leaned in as she spoke, the kind of effortless closeness that made something sharp and unwelcome twist deep in your gut.
Moments later Sunghoon reappeared, project folder tucked securely under his arm, his expression already easing into its usual relaxed state, “all done,” he said, nodding toward the car, “let’s head back before I remember I have another deadline breathing down my neck.”
You swallowed, keeping your voice deliberately light and casual as you gestured with your chin, “who’s that with Jay?”
Sunghoon followed your gaze and let out a low, knowing chuckle, shaking his head as if the sight were nothing more than a minor inconvenience, “that’s his girlfriend, Professor Kim’s daughter, Mina. Jay’s been stuck tutoring her for weeks now. You know how it is with him and these academic obligations.” He ruffled your hair in that familiar, protective way, already steering you back toward the car, “c’mon, let’s get you home.”
Girlfriend, tutor, Professor’s daughter. The words blurred together into the same bitter refrain—he had already moved on. Then why was he even actively chasing you? Why did he kiss you? None of it made any sense.
You offered Sunghoon a tight, reassuring smile and slid back into the passenger seat, the morning air suddenly too sharp against your skin. The entire drive home passed in silence on your end while he rambled about his seminar. Your mind had already raced far ahead, heart pounding harder than the engine.
The house had fallen into the deep, heavy silence of true night by the time the waiting finally broke you.
You had spent the hours after returning home drifting through the rooms like a ghost, ears tuned to every distant engine hum on the street, every faint creak of the front door. Jay never came back even when the clock ticked past midnight, the lights in Sunghoon’s room eventually went out. The whole house grew still, leaving only the low tick of the clock and the unbearable weight in your chest.
Girlfriend.
The word wouldn’t leave you, it wrapped around the memory of his desperate kiss until the contradiction felt like it would split you open. Why chase you so fiercely if he already had someone else? Why kiss you like you were air and he was drowning, only to vanish the very next day?
You were exhausted by the hope, exhausted by letting him unravel everything you had spent three years rebuilding.
At half past three you stood up in the dark, pulled on your leather jacket, and slipped downstairs without a sound. The back door clicked shut behind you like a quiet goodbye, right now you only needed your bike. You swung a leg over, kicked the engine to life, and twisted the throttle hard.
The wind slammed into your face, cold and merciless, ripping the tears from your eyes before they could fall. You leaned forward and let the road swallow you whole, chasing the only thing that had ever made the ache feel smaller.
You didn’t look back at the house, not even once.
The city thinned out behind you, streetlights stretching into long ribbons of gold as the road opened up. Every mile felt like another promise you were breaking—to yourself, to the fragile peace you had tried to rebuild. But peace had never felt like enough when Jay was involved, it never had.
Headlights flared in your mirror, bright and unrelenting. At first you thought it was just another late-night driver, then the black car surged forward, pulling level with you on the empty stretch of road—Jay’s car.
Your stomach dropped, he leaned across the console, window down, hair wild from the wind rushing through the cabin. His face was tight with panic and something darker, something that looked too much like fear.
“Y/N!” His shout cut through the combined thunder of engines, “slow the fuck down! Pull over!”
You clenched your jaw and twisted the throttle harder, the bike surging forward. The wind whipped his voice away, but you heard the raw edge in it. He matched your speed effortlessly, one hand white-knuckled on the wheel. “Stop the bike—you’re going to get yourself killed!”
The accusation in your chest finally tore free, “go home to her!” You screamed back, voice cracking against the night, “your girlfriend, your student, whatever the hell she is! I’m done being the one you chase when it’s convenient!”
Jay’s expression shattered, “what? Who?”
“I saw you at the uni!”
It took a few seconds, but Jay eventually realized, “she’s not my girlfriend! Mina is Professor Kim’s daughter—I’m only tutoring her because he’s writing my recommendation letter. That’s fucking it. I was driving home from her place when I saw you fly past, pull over, damn it!”
The words should have softened something inside you, but they only fed the storm. You were too raw, too tired of half-truths and disappearing acts. “Liar!” You shouted, the wind snatching the sound.
“Fine—whoever wins the next mile decides. If I win, you’ll talk to me, If you win—leave me alone forever. Deal?”
You didn’t even hesitate, “deal.”
The road became nothing but speed and fury. Your bike screamed beneath you, tires eating asphalt, the world narrowing to the white lines blurring past. Jay’s car roared beside you, dangerously close, his engine fighting for every inch. You leaned lower, pushing harder than you ever had, tiredness creeping up, but also reckless that matched Jay’s desperation—which made him faster. His car shot ahead, cutting sharply in front of you and slamming on the brakes.
Tires shrieked, as your bike fishtailed wildly. You fought the handlebars, skidding to a stop inches from his rear bumper, the sudden silence ringing in your ears like a gunshot.
You ripped the helmet off and hurled it to the ground, legs shaking as you dismounted. Jay was already out of the car, door hanging open, chest heaving.
“You almost got us both killed,” he yelled, stalking toward you across the empty road.
“Good!” Your voice cracked, raw and trembling with everything you’d held back for years, “maybe if I’d actually crashed you’d finally feel it—what it’s like to be left standing there wondering why the hell you even mattered to someone.”
Jay’s steps faltered for half a second, rain already starting to fall in fat, cold drops that darkened his shirt. He kept coming anyway, stopping so close you could see the way his jaw worked, the frantic rise and fall of his chest. “You think I don’t feel that every single day?” His voice was hoarse, cracking, “you think I haven’t spent the last three years replaying that night I told your parents everything, wondering how the fuck it all went so wrong?”
You shoved at his chest, hard enough that he rocked back on his heels, but he didn’t step away, “then why disappear again? Why kiss me like I’m the only person you’ve ever wanted and then spend the whole next day with somebody else? I waited for you, Jay. I sat in that dark house like an idiot while you were off doing whatever the hell you do with Professor’s perfect daughter.”
“I wasn’t with her like that!” The words tore out of him, loud and desperate, rain now pouring steadily between you, “Mina is just some girl whose dad is holding my entire future in his hands. He asked me to tutor her because she’s failing and he knows I need that recommendation letter. That’s all it is. I was driving home from her place when I saw you fly past on that damn bike. I wasn’t choosing her. I was literally coming back to you.”
You laughed, but it sounded more like a sob, “coming back to me? You always say that. You always make it sound like I’m the one running when you’re the one who—”
“I never meant for you to leave!” Jay shouted, voice breaking completely. Rain plastered his hair to his forehead, water streaming down his face, but he didn’t blink. “I told your parents about the races because I was terrified, Y/N. You were getting in too deep and I panicked. I thought they’d ground you, talk to you, anything but send you away for three fucking years. I begged them. I told them it was my fault too, that I should’ve stopped you sooner, that’s literally fucking why I joined in too, you know it—you literally fucking know it. I sat in your living room and cried like a fucking kid while they packed your bags. And every single day since you left I’ve hated myself for it.”
His hands came up to grip your shoulders, not hard, but like he needed to hold onto something real, “I’ve only ever liked you. Always. Even when you hated me, even when you looked at me like I was the reason your whole life fell apart. It’s been you—only you.”
You opened your mouth to throw it all back at him, the years, the silence, the way he still made you feel small—but Jay didn’t give you the chance. The second your lips parted he surged forward, crashing his mouth against yours mid-retort.
The kiss was messy and frantic, all teeth and desperation and three years of everything you’d both swallowed down. Rain poured over you both, soaking your clothes, making his shirt cling to the hard lines of his chest as he backed you against the car. One of his hands slid into your wet hair, gripping tight, the other pressed flat against your lower back, pulling you flush against him until you could feel every shaky breath he took. You kissed him back just as wildly, nails digging into his shoulders, tasting rain and salt and the raw edge of his apology.
He groaned into your mouth when you bit his lip, the sound low and broken, and the tension between you snapped into something hotter, heavier. Your soaked bodies slid together, hips pressing instinctively, his thigh nudging between yours as the rain hammered down around you like it was trying to wash everything away.
When he finally pulled back just enough to breathe, forehead resting against yours, his voice was wrecked and trembling.
“Don’t run from me again,” he whispered, thumb brushing a raindrop from your cheek with a gentleness that made your chest hurt. “Please, baby—just stay.”
You opened your mouth to throw it back at him, but Jay kept going, voice cracking louder over the downpour, “and that night, years ago, when the cops came—I got on a bike too. I raced straight into their path, drew every single one of them after me so you could get out clean. I risked everything because I couldn’t stand the thought of you getting caught.”
Your breath caught hard, eyes widening in genuine shock, “you what?”
Jay’s hands came up to grip your arms, fingers digging in like he was afraid you’d vanish, “I never meant for you to leave,” he said, voice raw and desperate, almost pleading, “I thought they’d just ground you, talk some sense into you. I begged them not to send you away, I told them it was my fault, that I should’ve protected you better. I’ve only ever liked you, Y/N. Only you. Even when you looked at me like I was the enemy, even when I hated myself for what I did.”
You tried to speak, tried to tell him it still hurt, that it didn’t erase the years, but the words barely formed before Jay surged forward and slotted his lips against yours—hard, cutting off whatever you were about to say.
The kiss was messy and urgent, rain pouring between your mouths as his lips moved against yours like he was trying to pour every regret straight into you. You gasped into it, and he swallowed each fucking sound, one hand sliding into your soaked hair, the other gripping your waist hard enough to pull your body flush against his. His soaked shirt clung to his chest, the heat of his skin burning through the cold fabric as he pressed you back against the car.
“I’ve only ever wanted you,” he mumbled against your lips, voice wrecked, before kissing you deeper, tongue sliding against yours in a way that made your knees weak, “every fucking day.”
You tried to pull back to breathe, to argue, but he chased your mouth instantly, kissing you again, slower this time but no less desperate, hips rolling into yours with a slow, deliberate grind that made heat flare low in your belly despite the freezing rain.
“Jay—” you managed between kisses, voice shaky, but he cut you off again, teeth grazing your bottom lip as his hand slipped under the hem of your jacket, palm hot against the bare skin of your lower back.
“Don’t,” he breathed, forehead pressed to yours, rain dripping from his lashes, “don’t push me away right now, I can’t take it.”
Your fingers tightened in his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer. The rain hammered down around you, soaking every inch of you both, but all you could feel was the frantic thud of his heart against yours, the way his thigh pressed between your legs, the desperate way his mouth kept finding yours like he was scared this moment would disappear.
“I never stopped wanting you,” he whispered between kisses, “not for one second.”
The words cracked something deep inside your chest, a raw, aching fracture that had been waiting three long years to split open. You kissed him back harder, teeth nipping at his bottom lip, tasting rain and the faint salt of everything you’d both buried for so long. Jay’s hands slid down your sides, fingers digging into the heavy, rain-soaked leather of your jacket as if he needed to hold onto something solid before he lost his mind. The denim of your jeans was plastered to your thighs, cold and heavy, clinging uncomfortably, but the heat radiating from his body burned straight through the wet fabric.
You grind against his thigh without thinking, a needy little sound escaping your throat. Jay groaned, low and rough, and pressed his leg firmer between your legs, giving you something solid to ride as the rain poured harder. His hands slipped under the hem of your jacket, palms hot against the rain-chilled skin of your waist, then higher, cupping your tits through your soaked shirt. Your nipples were already tight from the cold and the adrenaline, and when his thumbs circled them slowly, you moaned into his mouth, hips rolling harder, chasing the friction he was offering.
“Jay—” you gasped, voice shaky and raw, barely audible over the roar of the rain, “I was so fucking angry at you, I still am, but I—”
He cut you off with another deep kiss, tongue sliding against yours in a slow, filthy drag that made heat pool low in your belly despite the freezing rain, “I know,” he murmured against your lips, breath hot and ragged, “I know I hurt you, I know I fucked everything up. But right now—let me fix it. Let me make you feel good. Please, baby, I need to taste you.”
You nodded, barely able to speak, heart hammering so hard it felt like it might crack your ribs. Jay dropped to his knees right there on the wet road. Puddles splashed around him, soaking his jeans instantly, but he didn’t care. Rain streamed down his sharp features—dark eyes locked on you with raw hunger, water tracing the sharp line of his jaw, strands of wet hair plastered to his forehead. He looked up at you like you were the only thing in the world that mattered, and for him, that was true.
His fingers worked the button of your jeans open with shaking hands, then dragged the heavy, rain-soaked denim down your thighs along with your panties. The cold night air hit your bare skin, making you shiver violently, but Jay’s warm palms steadied your hips as he peeled the clinging fabric away, taking his time, kissing every new inch of skin he revealed. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, leather jacket creaking with the movement, and pressed a slow, open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh, then higher, breath ghosting hot over your core.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, voice hoarse with need, “been thinking about this—dreaming about it every single night.”
The first slow drag of his tongue up your slit pulled a broken moan from deep in your throat. He licked you like he had all the time in the world, savoring every inch, groaning against your folds as if the taste of you was better than anything he’d ever had. Rain dripped from his lashes onto your skin, cold little shocks that only made the heat of his tongue feel sharper, more overwhelming. He circled your clit with the flat of his tongue, then sucked it into his mouth, gentle at first, then with more pressure, more hunger.
“Jay—oh god—” your hand flew to his wet hair, fingers twisting tight as your other palm slapped against the car roof for balance. The rain kept pouring, running in rivulets down your stomach and mixing with the slick heat between your legs. Your leather jacket felt heavier with every second, water streaming off the shoulders and down your back, but all you could focus on was the way Jay’s sharp jaw worked against your thigh as he devoured you, the way his tongue flicked and swirled and pressed.
He slid two fingers inside you without warning, curling them deep while his tongue flicked faster. The stretch was perfect, the wet sounds of his mouth and fingers mixing obscenely with the roar of the rain. He added a third finger, scissoring you open slowly, carefully, like he was learning every part of you for the first time, like he wanted to memorize how you felt around him.
“You’re so wet,” he groaned against you, voice vibrating through your core. “All for me. Fuck, I love how you taste. I could stay here all night, just like this, making you come over and over until you can’t even stand.”
You whimpered, hips jerking against his face. The rain made everything slicker, colder, more intense. Jay’s fingers pumped steadily, curling against that spot inside you that made sparks explode behind your eyes as he sucked your clit harder, moaning like he was the one falling apart, like tasting you was undoing him completely.
“I’m—Jay, I’m gonna—” your voice broke, thighs shaking around his head, leather jacket creaking as you tried to hold yourself upright.
“C’mon, let go for me,” he rasped, not stopping for a second, “let me feel it, baby. I want it all, right on my tongue.”
The orgasm hit you like a wave, crashing hard and sudden and overwhelming. Your back arched against the car, a loud, broken moan tearing from your throat as you came on his tongue and fingers, thighs clamping around his head, body shaking violently. Jay kept licking you through it, gentler now, drawing it out, prolonging every aftershock until your legs were trembling so badly he had to stand and catch you, pressing you back against the car with his body.
He kissed you immediately, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. The kiss was slower this time, deeper, his hands cupping your face like you were something precious.
“You okay?” He whispered against your lips, voice soft but still rough with need, “tell me if it’s too much. I’ll stop if you need me to.”
You shook your head, breathing hard, fingers still tangled in his wet hair, “It’s not too much, I want more. Don’t stop—don’t fucking stop.”
Jay’s eyes darkened, something almost feral flashing across his sharp features. He kissed you again, slower, like he was savouring every second, then dropped back down to his knees without another word. This time he was even more deliberate—tongue tracing lazy, teasing patterns over your clit while three fingers pumped deep and steady inside you.
“Jay—fuck, that feels so good,” you gasped, voice cracking. “Don’t stop—please don’t stop, need it.”
He hummed against you, the vibration making you jolt, “I’m not stopping until you cum again. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”
He curled his fingers just right, sucking your clit into his mouth at the same time, and the second orgasm built faster, sharper, coiling tight in your belly. Your hips rocked against his face, leather jacket creaking, rain pouring down your body as you chased the feeling, completely lost in the heat of his mouth and the cold rain and the way he was touching you like he never wanted to stop.
“I’m close—Jay, I’m so close—”
“Come on, baby,” he murmured, voice muffled against your pussy, “let go, I’ve got you, cum for me.”
You came again with a sharp cry, thighs shaking violently around his shoulders, the pleasure so intense it bordered on overwhelming, wave after wave crashing through you until you were trembling and oversensitive and barely able to stand. Jay worked you through it, tongue gentle now, fingers slowing until you were a shaking, gasping mess against the car.
When he finally stood, his sharp jaw was glistening with you and rain. He kissed you slow and deep, hands cupping your face like you were something precious.
“You’re incredible,” he whispered against your mouth, voice wrecked, “so fucking perfect.”
You were still catching your breath, legs weak, when he pulled you closer, forehead pressed to yours under the pouring rain. The rain kept falling, cold and steady, but the heat between you two felt like it could burn the whole world down.
Jay’s hands trembled as he helped you toward the open back door, “inside,” he rasped, voice wrecked, “now—I need you.”
You barely had time to nod before he guided you into the cramped backseat. The space was ridiculously tight—his broad shoulders brushed the roof, his knees dug into the leather, and there was almost no room to move. But the moment the door slammed shut behind you, the world narrowed to nothing but the two of you. The windows fogged instantly from the heat of your bodies, turning the glass opaque, the rain a constant heavy roar on the roof that sealed you both in your own private storm.
Jay settled between your spread thighs in missionary, his sharp jaw clenched tight, dark eyes locked on yours in the dim, foggy light. Rain still dripped from his hair onto your chest. Your jeans were tangled around one ankle, your leather jacket half-off and sticking to the seat, but none of it mattered. He braced one hand beside your head, the other gently cupping your face.
“We don’t have a condom,” he said again, voice low and serious even now, thumb stroking your cheek, “I can stop, I can pull out—whatever you want, baby. Just tell mw.”
You shook your head, pulling him down by the back of his neck, “I don’t care,” you whispered, honest and aching, “I don’t want anything between us, please, Jay—I need you inside me.”
Something in his expression shattered—raw hunger and relief and so much love it made your chest hurt. He kissed you deeply, then reached down to free himself. His cock was heavy and thick, flushed dark at the tip and already leaking. You swallowed hard at the sight.
Jay stroked himself once, eyes never leaving your face, “we’ll go slow,” he promised, voice strained, “tell me if it’s too much. I’ve got you, baby.”
He lined himself up and pressed the head against your entrance. The stretch was immediate and intense—he was big, thicker than you’d expected, and even after everything he’d done with his mouth and fingers the burn made you gasp. He pushed in just the tip, then stopped, letting you adjust, forehead pressed to yours.
“Breathe for me,” he whispered, kissing the corner of your mouth, “that’s it—you’re doing so good, so fucking good for me.”
You whimpered, nails digging into his shoulders through the wet shirt, “Jay—you’re so big. Fuck—”
“I know,” he murmured, voice shaking with restraint, “I’ve got you, just relax, hm? Let me in, baby.”
He eased in another inch, slow and careful, eyes locked on yours the whole time. The car was so cramped that every tiny movement made the leather creak beneath you as the rain hammered the roof. The fogged windows trapped the heat and the scent of rain-soaked leather and sex. Your soaked jeans were still tangled around one ankle, your leather jacket half-off and sticking to the seat, but none of it mattered. Another inch. You gasped, thighs trembling around his hips.
“Talk to me,” Jay breathed, pausing again, thumb stroking your cheek, “does it hurt?”
“A little,” you admitted, voice small and honest, “but don’t stop. I want it.”
He groaned softly and kissed you again, deep and slow, as he pushed in further. It took long, careful minutes — every inch earned with kisses and whispers and his thumb circling your clit to help you relax. When he finally bottomed out, buried to the hilt inside you, you both let out shaky, broken moans.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he whispered against your neck, voice cracking, “you feel—perfect. So warm around me, I can’t believe this is real.”
He stayed still for a long moment, letting you adjust, forehead pressed to yours while the rain continued its endless rhythm on the roof. Then he started moving, slow, deep rolls of his hips that made the car rock gently beneath you. Every thrust dragged against that spot inside you that made sparks burst behind your eyes.
You wrapped your legs around his waist as best you could in the tight space, pulling him closer, “Jay—harder,” you gasped, “I can take it, please.”
He gave it to you, still careful at first, but deeper, faster, the wet slap of skin and the creak of leather mixing with your moans and the roar of the rain outside. His hand found yours, lacing your fingers together above your head as he fucked you.
“Look at me,” he whispered, voice raw, “I need to see you.”
You did, and in that cramped, fogged-up car, with the rain pouring down around you, you reached your high again—hard, clenching around him, crying out his name like it was the only word you knew. Jay followed soon after, burying himself deep and spilling inside you with a broken groan, hips stuttering, face pressed into your neck like he never wanted to let go.
He stayed there, still inside you, breathing hard against your skin while the rain continued its endless rhythm on the roof. Neither of you moved for a long time.
He stayed there, still buried deep inside you, breathing hard against your neck while the rain hammered the roof like it was trying to drown out the world. The fogged windows had turned the car into a small, steamy cocoon, the leather seats slick beneath your bodies, the air thick with the scent of rain, leather, and sex. Jay’s sharp jaw rested against your collarbone, his breath hot and uneven, one hand still laced with yours above your head like he couldn’t bear to let go even for a second.
Eventually he lifted his head, dark eyes soft but still burning as they met yours in the dim light, “you okay?” he whispered, voice hoarse, “did I hurt you?”
You shook your head, a shaky, breathless laugh escaping you, “no—it was perfect. You were perfect, but I’m not done with you yet.”
Jay’s eyebrows lifted, that familiar cocky smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth even now, “oh? Greedy tonight, are we?”
“Shut up,” you muttered, pushing at his chest until he sat back against the seat. The cramped space made it awkward, but you didn’t care. You swung one leg over him and straddled his lap, settling on top of him in the tight backseat. The position put you in control and you liked it. You reached between you, wrapping your hand around his thick, still-hard cock, stroking him slowly. Jay hissed, head falling back against the seat, sharp jaw tight as he watched you with dark, hooded eyes.
“Fuck, baby—you’re really gonna ride me like this?” He groaned, hands gripping your hips, fingers digging into the wet denim, “after everything, you still wanna be in charge?”
You leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear, “you had your turn,” you whispered, voice bratty and breathless, “now it’s mine—unless you’re scared you can’t handle it.”
Jay laughed, low and rough, but his grip on your hips tightened, “scared? Of you? Never, but if you think you can take all of me again so soon, go ahead. Show me what you’ve got.”
You lined him up and sank down slowly, the stretch still intense even after everything. You gasped, thighs trembling as you took him inch by inch, the cramped space forcing you to stay close, chest to chest. Jay’s hands stayed on your hips, guiding you but not forcing, his breath hitching every time you sank lower.
“Easy, my love,” he murmured, voice strained, “don’t rush it. You’re so fucking tight around me—fuck, just like that.”
“Shut up,” you hissed, even as you moaned, sinking further. “You’re so big it’s ridiculous. How the hell do you fit?”
Jay’s sharp jaw clenched, a smirk flashing across his face, “you’re the one who wanted it raw, remember? No complaining now, princess. Take it.”
You bottomed out with a broken moan, both of you cursing under your breath. For a moment you just sat there, forehead pressed to his, breathing the same air, the rain still hammering the roof like white noise. Then you started moving slow, rolling your hips in teasing circles at first, testing the angle, feeling every thick inch of him inside you. Jay groaned, hands sliding under your jacket to grip your bare waist, thumbs digging in hard enough to leave marks.
“Fuck, look at you,” he breathed, eyes dark as he watched you ride him, “so pretty when you’re on top of me like this. Taking every inch like you were made for it.”
You picked up the pace, rising and sinking faster, the wet slap of skin mixing with the creak of leather and the roar of the rain, “don’t get cocky,” you gasped, nails digging into his shoulders, “you’re the one who’s been chasing me for days. Who’s the desperate one now?”
Jay laughed, but it came out broken as you ground down hard, “me. I’m the desperate one. Always have been for you.” He thrust up to meet you, making you cry out, “but you’re the one who ran out here in the middle of the night just to get fucked by me, so who’s really desperate?”
“Asshole,” you moaned, but you rode him harder, bouncing properly now, the angle hitting that perfect spot with every drop. The car rocked noticeably, the fogged windows completely opaque, the confined space making every movement more intense.
Jay’s hands roamed, one sliding up to squeeze your breast, the other gripping your ass to help you move, “yeah? Call me an asshole when you cream all over my cock, hm? That’s my girl.”
You leaned forward, biting his neck, making him hiss, even though you fucking loved hearing that, “your girl? You wish. You don’t get to claim me after disappearing on me again.”
He groaned, hips snapping up harder, “too bad, baby—I’m claiming you right now. Every inch of this pussy is mine, say it.”
You laughed breathlessly, even as you clenched around him, “make me.”
Jay cursed, one hand tangling in your wet hair, tugging your head back so he could kiss you filthy and deep while you kept riding him. The kiss was all tongue and teeth, messy and angry and perfect. You kept moving, rolling and bouncing, the leather creaking beneath you, the rain a constant roar that made everything feel even more private.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned against your mouth, “so wet, I can feel you dripping down my balls, baby. You’re making such a mess.”
“Shut up,” you moaned, but your hips stuttered, the dirty words going straight to your core, “you talk too much.”
“And you love it,” he shot back, smirking, “you love when I tell you how good you’re taking me. How deep I am inside you. How no one else will ever feel this good to you again.”
You rode him harder, chasing the edge, thighs burning but refusing to slow down, “you’re so fucking full of yourself.”
“Yeah?” He thrust up sharply, making you cry out, “you’re the one who’s full of me right now, baby.”
You came with a loud, broken moan, nails raking down his chest, body shaking as the orgasm crashed through you. Jay followed right after, groaning your name as he spilled deep inside you again, hips stuttering, arms wrapping tight around your waist like he never wanted to let go.
You collapsed against his chest, both of you breathing hard, skin slick with rain and sweat. The rain was still hammering the roof, the car still fogged up, the world outside completely forgotten.
After a long minute Jay kissed the top of your head, voice soft but still rough, “we should probably head home—but first, your bike.”
You lifted your head, still dazed, “shit—my bike.”
He smiled, small and tired, and kissed you gently, “It’ll be safe. No one uses this road at night. I’ll come back for it first thing in the morning myself, I promise. Right now I just need to get you home with me. Where you belong.”
You nodded, melting into him, “hmm—take me home.”
The drive was quiet and peaceful. The rain tapped softly against the windshield, the wipers moving in a gentle rhythm. Jay didn’t say much at first, just held you closer whenever the car turned a corner, like he was afraid the night might steal you away again. The warmth of his body seeped through your damp clothes, chasing away the last traces of the cold rain. Every so often his thumb would press a little firmer on your thigh, a silent reminder that he was really here, that this was real, that you were with him.
When he finally pulled into the driveway, the house was dark and still. He turned off the engine and turned to you, leaning in to kiss you slow and sweet, like he had all the time in the world now, smiling into the kiss.
Inside, you left a trail of wet clothes behind you as he led you to the bathroom. He turned the shower on hot, steam quickly filling the small space. He undressed you with gentle hands, peeling the soaked leather jacket from your shoulders, then your shirt, then the heavy jeans that had clung to your legs all night. Every touch was careful, reverent even. He stepped under the shower with you, pulling you against his chest, the hot water cascading over both of you like a fresh start.
His hands soaped your skin slowly, washing away the rain, the road, the fear. He kissed your forehead, your cheeks, your lips, murmuring soft things between each touch. The water made everything feel warmer, safer, more intimate. He lifted you gently, your back against the tiled wall, legs wrapping around him, and slid into you slow and deep. There was no rush this time, just long, tender strokes, his forehead pressed to yours, eyes locked as he moved inside you. You moaned softly into his mouth, clinging to him, the steam and the heat and the love making everything feel safe and overwhelming all at once. You came with his name on your lips, soft and trembling, and he followed right after, spilling inside you with a quiet groan, holding you close like you were the most precious thing he’d ever held.
Afterwards he dried you with a warm towel, wrapped you in one of his big hoodies, and carried you to your bed. He tucked you under the blankets and climbed in beside you, pulling you into his arms. You curled against his chest, his hand stroking your back in slow, soothing strokes. The room was quiet except for the distant sound of rain against the window. Jay’s fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin, his breath warm against your hair. After a long moment he spoke, voice barely above a whisper.
“I love you,” he said softly, the words slipping out like they’d been waiting years to be said, “I love you, Y/N—I’ve loved you for so long. Even when I thought I’d lost you forever, even when I thought you hated me. I love you.”
Your heart started beating out of your chest, heat creeping up your neck. You lifted your head to look at him, fingers tracing the line of his sharp jaw in the dark, “I love you too,” you whispered, the words coming out easy and true, “I love you, Jay. I never stopped, not even when it hurt.”
Jay’s breath caught. He searched your eyes for a second, almost disbelieving, “you don’t have to say it back just because I did, baby,” he said quietly, voice gentle, “I know I hurt you. I know it’s going to take time. You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready.”
You smiled softly and cupped his cheek, “I’m ready,” you told him, voice steady and full of warmth, “I mean it, I love you.”
Jay’s eyes softened completely, and he leaned in to kissed you slow and deep, like he was pouring every feeling into it. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours again, a small, grateful smile on his lips.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, but there was no sadness in it—only quiet wonder, “but I’m going to spend every day trying to.”
You smiled against his chest, already drifting off in the safety of his arms, “good, because I’m not going anywhere.”
With that softness surrounding your being, you both fell asleep in each other’s warmth, smiles never leaving your faces. Jay watched you sleep, planting a soft kiss on your forehead as he tightened his hold on you, drifting into the dreamland.
So, when the next morning you woke up to an empty bed, you wondered if it was truly a dream, or a joke of some sort. The spot beside you was cold, panic hitting you instantly. Your heart slammed against your ribs as you sat up, clutching the sheet to your chest. Had he left?
That’s when the door creaked open.
Jay stepped in, hair messy, wearing the same clothes from last night, now dry. He was holding a key in one hand and your helmet in the other, and when he saw your face all wide-eyed, worried, a little scared—his expression softened immediately.
“Hey, baby,” he said gently, setting the helmet down and crossing the room in two strides. He climbed onto the bed and pulled you into his arms, kissing you slow and deep, like he was trying to erase the fear, “I’m right here, I just went to get your bike before anyone else could. It’s safe in the garage now, yeah? I’m not going anywhere, my love, I promise.”
You melted into the kiss, fingers curling into his shirt, the panic fading under the warmth of his mouth as he got under the covers with you again.
Right then the door opened again.
“Y/N?” Sunghoon’s voice called out as he stepped inside, still half-asleep, rubbing his eyes, “what do you want for breakfast—”
He stopped dead when he took in the scene in front of him—you and Jay frozen, lips still inches apart, bodies tangled under the sheet, Jay’s hand still cupping your face. It would have been rather comical how Sunghoon’s eyes had widened, but nothing seemed funny at the given moment.
You and Jay looked at him, then at each other, the words leaving your mouth at the same time.
wait hi guys… this isn’t normal for me but I was writing a story DEAD FREQUENCY but lowkey idk if i should continue it… if you have read it or could read it for me and lmk if you enjoy so i have motivation to continue🙃 I don’t just wanna focus on smau all the time so idk lmkkkk!!
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a/n: after a long await…part three is here. if you’re still interested tysm for continuing to read i’ve just been so busy with my job and graduation parties but i pulled an all nighter for this. also i had so much planned for this chapter but tumblrs stupid 30 image limit rule i had to cut some out but they will be included in part four. ALSO if you watch love island we need to talk so comment or send me an ask i must have someone to talk ab it with. That’s all much love💕 (if there are any mistakes pls forgive me it was lowkey rushed)
warning : cussing, mentions of death, sexual themes , teasing, taking advantage of (will be updated by chapter)
synopsis : an insane virus outbreak has cause humans to die and reincarnate as flesh eating zombies. losing all her family y/n is stranded all alone promising never to get close to another person again. until discovered upon she enters a new society where she meets heeseung. a pain in her ass, but what happens when the one thing she swore never to do again, happens. will it be for better or for worse?
wc : 6.5k
genre : apocalypse, mini-series, enemies to lovers
involved : Sunghoon, Jake, Ni-ki from ENHYPEN, Chaewon from LESSERAFIM, Winter from AESPA, James from CORTIS, Nicholas from &TEAM, Minji from NEWJEANS, and Taeyang from BIGBANG.
! NOT PROOF READ !
The morning sun offers no comfort. By 8:00 AM, you’re standing in the dirt lot of the courtyard for the mandatory combat and reaction training required for all recent arrivals. Your muscles are stiff from the lack of rest, the morning humidity already making your skin damp.
You stand in a short line with three other new recruits, checking the balance of the dull, wooden training knife they handed you.
“Listen up!” a sharp, booming voice commands.
Your stomach clenches instantly. Fuck me you think
Heeseung walks out from the tactical shed, dressed in a tight black compression shirt and heavy cargo pants, a silver whistle resting against his chest. His hair is pushed back, damp from a workout, highlighting his sharp jaw and high cheekbones. He looks like a fucking middle school or teach, but he looks painfully good, but his expression is pure stone as his eyes sweep down the line, locking directly onto you.
“Today we’re assessing your close-quarters defensive instincts,” Heeseung says, walking down the line like a commander inspecting troops. “The infected don’t wait for you to get into a stance. If you freeze for a fraction of a second, you’re done. I want to see exactly what you brought with you from the outside.”
He comes to a halt right in front of you, his tall frame completely blocking out the sunlight.
“Y/N,” he barks, his voice ringing through the open yard. “Step into the ring.”
“what?” you ask confused like there’s not other people to join in with him
“just step in”
You step forward into the marked dirt circle, keeping your posture rigid, refusing to let him see an ounce of hesitation. “Ready.”
“You told my dad you survived on your own for two years,” Heeseung says, walking over to a bench to pull on a pair of thick, padded leather sparring mitts. He turns back to face you, a dangerous, mocking glint dancing in his brown eyes. “Let’s see if you actually learned how to fight, or if you were just lucky enough to hide in holes.”
Little does he know you learned how to fight by Nicholas and you were out there for 5 years so hah
The other recruits watch silently as you take your position. Heeseung squares his shoulders, standing broad and loose, completely confident.
“Take the first strike,” he challenges, lifting the mitts. “Show me what you've got.”
Gripping the wooden handle of the knife, all the built-up anger from the office, the library, and your sleepless night rushes straight to your hands. You sprint forward, throwing a swift, hard slash aimed directly at his ribs.
Heeseung moves effortlessly, his left hand coming out to slam against your wrist, parrying the blow and sending a sharp vibration up your arm. “Too slow,” he mocks.
You pivot instantly, using the momentum to throw a backhand strike toward his throat. He ducks beneath the swing with fluid precision, stepping inside your guard and using his shoulder to drive hard into your chest. You stumble backward across the dirt, your boots scraping for purchase, but you manage to stay upright.
“Your center of gravity is all over the place,” he says, circling you slowly. “Is this how you handled threats out there? Just swinging wildly and hoping for the best?”
A blinding wave of fury takes over. You charge him again, throwing out all technique, launching into a rapid flurry of aggressive, heavy stabs. He blocks the first two with the mitts, but the sheer, unhinged speed of your rage catches him off guard. The third strike slices upward, the hard edge of the wooden blade clipping him right along his jawline, leaving a bright red scratch across his skin.
Got you
Heeseung stops dead in his tracks. His hand goes up, his fingers tracing the red mark on his jaw.
The entire courtyard falls dead silent.
When he lowers his hand, his eyes are completely dark, stripped of the professional instructor act. A slow, dangerous grin spreads across his face, his teeth showing. “There it is,” he whispers, his voice low enough only for your ears. “I knew there was something vicious hiding behind that pathetic little face.”
Before you can reset your defensive stance, Heeseung closes the distance in a blur. He grabs your right wrist, twisting it down with crushing force until the wooden knife falls into the dirt. In the exact same motion, his other hand slams into the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair as he drives you backward with full force. Your back hits the heavy wooden support post of the training ring with a loud, painful thud.
You gasp, your chest heaving violently against his broad chest. He presses his entire weight against you, locking your hips against the post, his face mere millimeters from yours. He’s breathing heavily, his hot, ragged breath washing over your lips, his intense scent completely taking over your senses.
“You like leaving marks, don’t you?” he whispers, his grip on the back of your neck tightening just enough to pin you completely, his eyes burning into yours with a terrifying mix of fury and raw, electric tension. “You think because you got one lucky shot at lunch, you’re qualified to step to me?”
Your body begins to shake uncontrollably, that heavy, pulsing pressure building up intensely between your thighs once again. You absolutely loathe how your skin sparks wherever his skin touches yours. You look up at his sharp nose, his wide, devouring deer eyes, and the fresh red mark on his jaw that you put there.
“Get off me,” you force out, trying to sound dominant, but the words come out breathless, completely betraying how much his closeness is affecting you.
Heeseung’s eyes drop straight to your mouth, his jaw clenching hard as he watches your chest rise and fall against his. For a brief, terrifying second, the anger in his face shifts into something completely raw and starved, his chest expanding against yours as his grip on your neck softens into a firm caress. He leans down slightly, his lips brushing against the edge of your ear.
“You’re a little stray, y/n,” he whispers, his voice a smooth, toxic poison that sends shivers straight down your spine. “You think you’re a tough girl to crack, but you’re already falling apart in my hands and you don’t even know it.”
He drops his hands just as fast as he grabbed you, stepping back out of your space and blowing his training whistle sharply. He doesn't look back at you as you slide slightly down the post, your knees trembling as you try to stand straight.
“Class dismissed,” he announces loudly to the rest of the yard, pulling the leather mitts off his hands and walking away toward the main city hall doors without a second glance, leaving you standing alone in the dust, desperately trying to pull the pieces of your pride back together before anyone else sees how completely undone you are.
“What are you doing” you whisper to yourself.
Also he just left a bunch of newbies in the middle of training. How immature
The morning air in Lunaris always arrived with a strange, clean stillness that felt entirely unnatural compared to the rot and chaos of the outside world. It was barely 7:30 AM, but the sun was already casting long, golden geometric sheets across the paved roads of the rebuilt city, cutting through the early morning fog.
You walked toward the communal dining hall, your boots clicking softly against the concrete. Your muscles were still aching fiercely from yesterday’s combat session in the dirt courtyard—specifically where Heeseung’s heavy leather mitts had blocked your wooden knife, and where his fingers had gripped the back of your neck, leaving an invisible, burning brand on your skin. Every breath you took felt heavy, filled with the looming, toxic weight of his final words to you. “You’re a little stray, y/n... you’re already falling apart in my hands and you don’t even know it.”
He doesn’t even know me. You think to yourself
Pushing the double doors of the dining hall open, the hum of voices and the heavy scent of toasted grain and hot coffee hit you. The space was bustling with members of the community getting their morning rations before heading out to their respective daily duties.
Scanning the room, you spotted a familiar crown of blonde-and-black hair. Riki was sitting at a long wooden table near the center windows, gesturing wildly with a fork while Minji sat next to him, sipping from a metal mug and rolling her eyes at whatever nonsense he was spouting. Sitting across from them were Nicholas and Jake. Nicholas looked up, his newly blonde mullet catching the sunlight. When his eyes locked onto yours, a bright, genuine smile broke across his face, a contrast to the heavy grief you both shared over Hanni.
“Hey! Over here!” Nicholas called out, waving an arm.
You grabbed a small tray containing a bowl of warm porridge and a sliced apple from the counter line and walked over, sliding onto the bench next to Jake.
“Morning, newcomer,” Jake greeted you, his deep voice carrying a warm, melodic lilt. He leaned back slightly, offering you a bright, crinkle-eyed smile that instantly eased some of the tension knotted in your shoulders.
“I’m not that new anymore” you laugh
“How are the muscles holding up? I heard Heeseung put you through the absolute ringer yesterday during mandatory drills.”
“That’s an understatement,” you mumbled, picking up an apple slice and biting into it. “The guy plays sadistic mind games for fun. I’m pretty sure his entire personality is just a cocktail of arrogance and unnecessary hostility.”
James on the other hand let out a loud snort, nearly choking on his breakfast. “Careful, y/n. Talk like that around here and you might just find your daily chore rotation moved exclusively to cleaning out the waste filters. But seriously, you’re not wrong. Heeseung has been a tyrant lately.”
“He’s just stressed,” Minji added defensively, though her tone was tired. “With the northern perimeter fence showing signs of wear and the scouting reports indicating increased infected activity near the old shopping center, his dad has been leaning on him heavily to keep security airtight.”
“Still doesn’t give him the right to treat people like stray dogs,” you muttered, the lingering humiliation of yesterday’s physical check and combat ring flashing through your mind.
“Did someone mention my name?”
The smooth, resonant voice cut through the table's chatter like a blade. Your body froze instantly, your fork hovering a few inches above your bowl.
Taeyang walked up to the edge of the table, looking effortlessly sharp in a crisp button-down shirt, his dirty blonde hair perfectly parted down the middle. But he wasn’t alone. Standing just half a step behind him, arms crossed over his chest, was Heeseung. He was wearing his usual uniform—heavy black tactical trousers and a dark gray compression shirt that hugged the broad, solid contours of his shoulders and chest. His dark eyes were fixed entirely on you, intense and completely unreadable, carrying that same dangerous, mocking glint from the training yard.
“Good morning, everyone,” Taeyang said, his voice warm and commanding, the quintessential leader. He offered you a gentle nod. “Y/N, I hope you’re settling in well. I’ve been reviewing your intake files and the notes from your combat assessment yesterday.”
“Is there a problem?” you asked, keeping your voice level, refusing to show any vulnerability in front of Heeseung.
“Not at all,” Taeyang smiled, though there was a practical, clinical edge to it. “You clearly have excellent reflexes and a high survival instinct from your two years on the outside. However, surviving by hiding in holes or running blindly is different from executing tactical extraction operations. Lunaris operates on absolute precision. Therefore, I’m assigning you to a supply-and-reconnaissance run this morning.”
You blinked, surprised. “A run? Already? Where?”
“Wait plus i’ve been outside for 5 years years but that’s not the point” you say correcting him
“My apologies, but it’s the old industrial sector, roughly three miles out,” Taeyang explained. “We need mechanical components to reinforce the western gate. And you won't be going alone. Heeseung will be leading the run, and you will be paired directly with him. It's imperative that you learn the right way to handle the infected in a coordinated squad environment.”
“Wait, what?”
The protest didn't come from you. It came from Heeseung.
Same here pal
He stepped forward, his jaw clenching hard, the fresh red mark near his jawline from your scuffle yesterday still faintly visible. “Dad, are you serious? She’s been here for less than forty-eight hours.” he exaggerates “She hasn’t even completed her secondary firearms clearance, and her compliance during drills was completely volatile. Taking her outside the walls on a high-priority hardware run is a liability.”
“She managed to survive on her own for two full years, Heeseung,” Taeyang replied calmly, his tone shifting into that of a father pulling rank on a stubborn son. “If she can navigate the ruins of Seoul without a wall to protect her, she can handle a routine supply run. She needs field integration. The decision is final.”
Heeseung’s eyes flared with sudden anger, a muscle jumping in his cheek. He looked like he wanted to slam his fist down on the table, but he reigned it in, letting out a sharp, irritated breath through his nose. “Fine. But if she slows us down, or if she disobeys a single direct command out there, I’m locking her out of the tactical rotation permanently.”
“I can hear you, you know,” you spat, standing up from the bench, your tray rattling slightly. You stared directly up into his face, your chest rising and falling with irritation. “I don’t need your permission to survive, and I certainly don’t need you to look out for me. I’ve handled more zombies than you’ve probably ever seen from behind your precious little walls.”
Heeseung leaned in slightly, his tall frame blocking out the light from the window, mirroring the suffocating closeness from yesterday. A slow, infuriating smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, low and venomous. “We’ll see about that, little stray. Meet me at the armory in ten minutes. Don’t be late, or I’ll drag you there myself.”
He turned on his heel and stormed out of the dining hall, his heavy boots echoing across the room.
Taeyang let out a soft sigh, rubbing his temple. “Apologies for his demeanor, Y/N. He is… protective. Stay sharp out there.” With a reassuring nod, the leader walked away, leaving the table in a stunned silence.
Jake looked up at you, a deeply worried expression clouding his handsome features. “Are you going to be okay? Heeseung is intense on a normal day, but when he’s out in the field, he’s absolute ice. If you need me to talk to Taeyang and swap out with him—”
“No, it’s fine,” you cut him off, your jaw tight as you grabbed your jacket from the back of the bench. “I’m not letting him think he scares me. I’ll see you guys later.”
Ten minutes later, you walked into the concrete tactical armory near the main gates. The walls were lined with racks of rifles, shotguns, and neatly organized crates of ammunition. Heeseung was already there, checking the action on a lightweight carbine rifle. He didn't look up when you entered, but his shoulders visibly tightened.
“Put this on,” he ordered curtly, tossing a heavy tactical vest and a nylon belt toward you.
You caught it against your chest, quickly buckling the vest over your shirt. Next to the vest was a leather sheath containing a heavy, high-grade steel combat knife. You slid it onto your belt, the weight reassuring against your thigh.
“No gun?” you asked, crossing your arms.
“You haven’t cleared compliance training,” Heeseung said flatly, slinging his rifle over his shoulder and picking up a small backpack. “Out there, noise draws hordes. If you can’t handle a blade properly, a gun will just get you killed faster. Try to keep up.”
The journey out of Lunaris was tense. You rode in the back of a heavily modified, matte-black pickup truck driven by Sunghoon, while Heeseung sat in the passenger seat, staring straight ahead at the cracked, overgrown asphalt of the abandoned highway. No one spoke. The silence inside the cabin was suffocating, thick with an unspoken hostility that made your pulse race.
When the truck finally idled to a stop near the edge of a crumbling industrial park, Sunghoon turned around. “I’ll keep the engine low and circle the perimeter. You two have forty-five minutes before the patrol shifts. Keep your radios on channel three.”
“Got it,” Heeseung said, opening his door. He looked back at you, his eyes scanning your face, lingering on your lips for a split second before hardening into stone. “Stay behind me. If I tell you to drop, you drop. Clear?”
“Crystal,” you snapped, leaping out of the truck bed before he could offer a hand, not that he ever would.
The industrial complex was a wasteland of rusted steel beams, shattered glass, and overgrown weeds pushing through the cracked concrete. The air smelled of damp earth and old rust. Shadows stretched long across the alleyways, creating an eerie environment where every snap of a twig felt like a threat.
Heeseung moved with terrifying fluidity. He was hyper-aware of his surroundings, his rifle raised slightly, his eyes tracking every dark corner. For all his arrogance, you had to admit he knew exactly what he was doing.
As you navigated through the belly of an old manufacturing warehouse, the silence between you two finally broke.
“You’re stepping too heavily,” Heeseung whispered sharply over his shoulder, not pausing his forward march. “Your boots are scraping the gravel. On the outside, that’s how you invite a herd to breakfast.”
“I’m walking completely fine,” you hissed back, picking your way through a pile of shattered porcelain. “Maybe your ears are just hypersensitive from living in a bubble for so long.”
He stopped dead in his tracks, turning around so quickly you almost crashed right into his chest. He towered over you, his eyes dropping to look down at your face, a low, patronizing smirk spreading across his sharp features. “A bubble? Is that what you think this is? You think because we built walls, we don’t know what blood smells like?”
“I think you’re a nepo-baby who likes to play soldier because your daddy runs the town,” you retorted, stepping closer, your heart hammering against your ribs, fueled entirely by adrenaline and the sheer irritation of his proximity.
Heeseung’s smirk vanished, replaced by an intense, dark gravity. He stepped even closer, trapping you against a rusted metal pillar, his breath warm against your forehead. “You have a really big mouth for a girl who was crying over her sister's ghost yesterday,” he whispered, his voice dropping into that smooth, toxic register that sent an unwanted shiver straight down your spine.
“Don’t you dare bring up my sister,” you snarled, your hand instinctively dropping to the hilt of the knife at your thigh.
Before you could even grip the handle, Heeseung’s hand shot out, his fingers wrapping firmly around your wrist, pinning it down against your leg. His grip wasn't painful, but it was unyielding, completely neutralizing your movement.
“What are you going to do, sweetheart? Stab me again?” he murmured, his gaze dropping directly to your mouth, his jaw clenching hard. The raw anger in his face shifted into something entirely different—something starved and dangerously close to flirting. “You’re all fire and no discipline. It’s cute, but it’s going to get you hurt.”
“Get off me,” you breathed out, trying to sound dominant, but your voice hitched slightly, completely betraying how much his sudden closeness was affecting you.
“Make me,” he challenged softly, his thumb tracing a slow, deliberate circle over the pulse point on your wrist.
Groan.
The low, guttural sound echoed from the dark far corner of the warehouse, instantly shattering the tension between you.
Heeseung let go of your wrist instantly, spinning around with his rifle raised. From behind a stack of rusted shipping crates, three infected staggered into the dim light. Their skin was grey, mottled with dark veins from the Bontana Virus, their eyes cloudy and wide, jaws snapping violently as they caught your scent.
“Two on the left, one on the right,” Heeseung ordered, his tone instantly shifting back to absolute ice. “Don't use the gun. Take the right one. Let’s see that outside survival skill, stray.”
Before you could even reply, Heeseung lunged forward. He didn't shoot; instead, he used the butt of his rifle to smash the jaw of the first infected, sending it crashing into the floor before drawing his own tactical blade and driving it cleanly through the base of its skull.
Your adrenaline spiked. The third infected—a large, decayed male in a shredded uniform—was lunging directly toward you, its blackened teeth snapping blindly.
You didn't freeze. You drew your steel combat knife, stepped smoothly to the side to avoid its clumsy, forward momentum, and drove the blade directly upward under its jaw, aligning it perfectly with the brain stem—the exact technique you had used to survive on your own for two brutal years. The creature let out a wet gasp before the life completely died from its eyes, its heavy body slumping forward onto the concrete.
You pulled your knife out, wiping the dark, thick blood onto the grass pushing through the floorboards, breathing heavily.
Heeseung was standing over the other two corpses, his rifle lowered. He looked at the fallen zombie at your feet, then looked up at you. For a fleeting second, an expression of genuine surprise and reluctant admiration crossed his face, but he quickly masked it with his usual disinterested scowl.
“Clean strike,” he muttered, sheathing his blade. “Maybe you weren't entirely lying about surviving out there.”
“I don’t lie,” you said, your voice trembling slightly from the rush of adrenaline as you sheathed your knife. “Now let’s get these stupid components and get back. I’m sick of looking at your face.”
“The feeling is entirely mutual,” he said, but as he turned around to grab the copper wiring crates from the shelf, you caught the faint trace of a smirk lingering on his lips.
By the time the truck pulled back through the heavily guarded gates of Lunaris, your body felt completely spent. The run had been successful—the truck bed was loaded with heavy mechanical components—but the silent car ride back had only amplified the exhausting psychological warfare between you and Heeseung.
Sunghoon parked the truck near the central inventory depot. You hopped out immediately, eager to put as much distance between yourself and Heeseung as humanly possible.
“Hey! Y/N! Heeseung!”
Huh that’s strange, you guys weren’t close like that
A sharp, clear voice called out from the steps of the main city hall building. Walking down the concrete steps was Chaewon. She looked incredibly striking, her signature sleek black bob and perfectly cut bangs framing a face that was undeniably gorgeous. She was holding her usual clipboard, but her eyes weren't on the papers; they were fixed squarely on Heeseung, a soft, familiar smile gracing her lips.
“How did the run go?” Chaewon asked, stepping directly into Heeseung’s space, her tone carrying an intimate familiarity that instantly caught your attention.
“Routine,” Heeseung replied, his tone softening significantly compared to how he spoke to you. “Got the western gate parts. The perimeter is clear for now.”
Chaewon nodded, then turned her sharp, dark eyes toward you. Her gaze swept down your mud-splattered boots, up your tactical vest, and finally rested on your face. Her smile turned tight, a distinct flicker of icy jealousy flashing through her eyes before she smoothly masked it.
“You must be Y/N,” she said, stepping forward and extending a hand. “I didn't get a chance to properly introduce myself yesterday when I brought you up to Taeyang’s office. I’m Chaewon. I handle the community’s administrative mapping and internal logistics... and I’m also Heeseung’s ex-girlfriend.”
The directness of her introduction caught you off guard. You looked at her extended hand, then at Heeseung, who had suddenly developed an intense interest in adjusting the strap of his rifle, refusing to make eye contact.
A tiny, unexpected coil of jealousy tightened in your stomach, but you pushed it down instantly, refusing to give her the satisfaction of showing it. You extended your hand, giving her a firm, unbothered shake.
“Nice to meet you, Chaewon,” you said smoothly, matching her icy composure. “Heeseung didn't mention you. Then again, he doesn't mention much besides his own opinions.”
Chaewon’s smile strained even further. She pulled her hand back, tucking her clipboard against her chest. “Well, Heeseung tends to focus purely on protocol when he’s working with new recruits. We go back a long way, so I know how difficult he can be to handle. If you ever find his training methods too... overbearing, feel free to report it to me.”
“I can handle him just fine,” you replied dryly.
“Good to know,” Chaewon said. She turned back to Heeseung, her voice dropping into a softer, almost purring tone. “Heeseung, your dad wants a debrief in his office whenever you’re ready. I’ll see you there?”
“Yeah. Give me five minutes,” Heeseung nodded.
Chaewon gave you one last lingering, possessive look before turning on her heel and walking back toward city hall, her movements precise and calculated.
You let out a cynical laugh, turning to walk away, but Heeseung’s voice stopped you. “What’s funny?”
“Nothing,” you said, looking over your shoulder with a mocking smile. “Just realized that your taste in women is exactly like your personality—rigid, defensive, and incredibly exhausting. Have fun at your debrief, daddy’s boy.”
Heeseung’s jaw clenched so hard you could hear the bone click. “Get out of my sight, Y/N.”
“With pleasure,” you smiled, turning around and walking toward the residential quarters.
Later that evening, the fierce heat of the afternoon had faded into a cool, crisp dusk. You had showered, washing away the grime of the industrial park, and were sitting on the steps of the small concrete house the community had assigned to you. You were dressed in a simple, oversized gray sweatshirt and dark jeans, staring out at the distant lights of the city walls.
“Hey!”
You looked up to see Winter walking up the gravel path toward your porch. She was wearing a thick flannel shirt over a black tank top, her short, pale hair catching the moonlight. She had a bright, energetic grin on her face.
“Y/N! How was your run with the devil” she laughs, hopping up the steps to sit next to you without an invitation. “Nicholas told me all about it. I wanted to come by and check in, also I wanted to officially invite you out tonight. A bunch of us—everyone around our age—are putting together a bonfire down by the old quarry lot near the eastern woods. You should absolutely come.”
You hesitated, pulling your knees up to your chest. “I don’t know, Winter. I’m pretty exhausted from the run today. And I’m not really great with big groups of people right now.”
“Oh, come on,” Winter nudged your shoulder playfully. “It’s not a formal thing. Just some music, a few drinks, and a chance to actually relax without someone blowing a training whistle in your ear. Nicholas is going, Riki’s going, Sunghoon, James, and Jake specifically asked if you were coming. You can’t spend your whole life hiding inside your head, y/n.”
Hearing Jake’s name made your heart soften slightly. He had been nothing but kind to you since you arrived, a rare comfort in this harsh place. Plus you had just realized what he meant towards you
You let out a breath, a faint smile touching your lips. “Fine. Give me five minutes to grab a jacket.”
“Yes! Let’s go!” Winter clapped, jumping to her feet.
The quarry lot was hidden behind a dense grove of pine trees, just far enough from the residential zones to avoid drawing complaints from the older community members. When you and Winter arrived, a massive bonfire was already roaring in the center of the clearing, sending orange sparks dancing up into the dark starry sky. Around twenty people were gathered, sitting on old logs and lawn chairs, laughing and talking over the soft acoustic strains of a guitar someone was strumming near the flames.
“Look who made it!” Winter announced, pushing you gently into the clearing.
Nicholas looked up from where he was roasting something over the fire, waving enthusiastically. But your eyes were immediately drawn to the opposite side of the circle.
Sitting on a wooden crate, holding a metal cup, was Heeseung.
Your stomach dropped. You hadn't expected him to be here, but then again he was a part of this group. He had swapped his tactical gear for a loose black hoodie, the hood resting against his shoulders, his dark hair falling slightly over his eyes. Sitting right next to him on a low lawn chair was Chaewon, leaning close to him, whispering something into his ear while gesturing toward the fire.
You hadn’t seen her around since you got here but it’s like ever since you started being around Heeseung she keeps spawning everywhere, it’s odd.
Despite her proximity, Heeseung wasn't looking at her. The moment you stepped into the clearing, his head snapped up. His dark, piercing eyes locked onto you across the flames, tracking your every movement with an intense, unblinking focus that felt heavy enough to suffocate you.
“Y/N! Over here, I saved you a spot,” Jake called out.
He was sitting on a massive, fallen oak log near the warmer side of the fire. He patted the empty space next to him, his handsome face lit beautifully by the amber glow of the flames.
You walked over, purposely ignoring Heeseung’s heavy gaze, and slid onto the log right next to Jake.
“Glad you could make it,” Jake smiled warmly, handing you a toasted marshmallow on a sharpened stick. “You look much better than you did this morning.”
“Thanks,” you laughed softly, taking the stick. “The run was intense, but I survived. Barely.”
“I heard you handled that infected perfectly,” Jake said, leaning in slightly closer so his shoulder brushed against yours, his voice dropping into a low, admiring tone. “Sunghoon told me you didn't even hesitate. That’s seriously impressive, Y/N. Most people freeze up their first time outside the walls.”
“Well, I had a very motivating instructor shouting at me the whole time,” you joked, casting a brief, deliberate glance across the fire.
Heeseung was still staring. He hadn't taken a single sip from his cup. His jaw was clenched so tightly the muscles along his neck were rigid, his eyes boring into you as he watched how close Jake was sitting next to you. Chaewon was still talking, but Heeseung was completely ignoring her, his entire aura projecting a dark, volatile jealousy that was practically radiating across the clearing.
Noticing his reaction, a sudden spark of defiance flared within you. If he wanted to play mind games, you could play them too.
Turning back to Jake, you let out a bright, melodic laugh, leaning in close enough that your breath fanned his neck. “You know, Jake, you should really be the one leading the scouting runs. At least then the scenery out there would be pleasant.”
Jake’s cheeks instantly flushed a deep crimson under the firelight, a handsome, flustered smile breaking across his face. “Oh, really? I don’t know about that... Heeseung’s the tactical expert around here.”
“Expert? Please,” you scoffed loudly enough for your voice to carry across the circle, flashing a bright, flirtatious smile directly at Jake. “He just knows how to hide behind his daddy's rules. You actually have personality.”
A sudden, sharp clatter echoed across the quarry.
Heeseung had slammed his metal cup down onto a nearby crate. He stood up, his tall, imposing frame casting a long, dark shadow across the clearing. The easy chatter around the fire died down instantly as his cold, suffocating presence took over the space.
“If you two are quite finished swapping baseline compliments,” Heeseung sneered, his voice cutting through the air like winter ice, his eyes fixed entirely on you, filled with a harsh, mocking disdain. “Some of us are actually trying to enjoy the evening without having to witness a pathetic display of outside desperation.”
The clearing went completely silent. Jake shifted uncomfortably, his brow furrowing. “Heeseung, chill out. We’re just talking.”
“She isn’t talking, Jake. She’s throwing herself at anything that offers her a scrap of attention because she’s been alone for the past two years with no one to help her. Plus she’s a stray who doesn't know how to behave in a civilized community,” Heeseung barked, his words intentionally cruel, his eyes flashing with a dangerous mix of jealousy and deep-seated frustration. “She thinks because she survived a routine run today, she owns the place. In reality, she’s just a liability waiting to happen.”
The harsh words stung, but you refused to let him see it. You stood up from the log, your chest heaving as you glared back at him across the flames. “The only liability here is your fragile ego, Heeseung. You can’t stand the fact that someone doesn't bow down to you. You’re nothing but a bully who uses a badge to hide how pathetic you actually are.”
Heeseung let out a low, cynical laugh, stepping back into the shadows of the trees. “Believe whatever helps you sleep at night, stray. Just don’t cry to me when you realize how out of your depth you actually are.”
He turned around and stormed away from the bonfire, disappearing into the dark woods without a second glance. Chaewon let out an annoyed huff, throwing a bitter, venomous glare in your direction before scurrying off after him.
The mood at the bonfire never truly recovered after Heeseung’s outburst. You tried your best to stay and converse with Jake and Nicholas, but your mind was completely checked out, filled with a turbulent mix of anger, confusion, and a strange, aching weight in your chest.
Around midnight, the fire began to die down to glowing red embers. You quietly said your goodbyes to Winter, Jake, and everyone else, declining Jake’s polite offer to walk you back to your quarters, insisting you needed the quiet walk to clear your head.
The walk back through Lunaris was completely silent. The streets were empty, the modernized houses standing like quiet sentinels beneath the pale moonlight. You wrapped your jacket tightly around yourself, your thoughts drifting back to the terrifyingly raw look Heeseung had given you in the warehouse, contrasted against his vicious insults at the bonfire. You couldn't understand him. He hated you, yet his eyes looked at you like he wanted to consume you whole.
Plus that day in Taeyang's office? He was all over you but maybe he was just teasing you to see how far you’d go, and boy did you almost go there
Turning the corner onto your gravel path, you froze in your tracks.
Standing on your front porch, leaning back against the wooden doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, was Heeseung. The hood of his black sweatshirt was pulled down, his sharp jawline tightly set as he watched you approach out of the shadows.
Your heart began to race violently against your ribs, a familiar rush of adrenaline spiking through your veins. You walked up the wooden steps, stopping a few feet away from him, crossing your arms tightly.
“What the hell are you doing here, Heeseung?” you demanded, your voice laced with exhaustion and irritation. “Haven't you insulted me enough for one day?”
Heeseung didn't answer right away. He stepped out of the shadows of the doorframe, closing the distance between you until he was towering directly over you, his presence completely overwhelming your senses. The cold, arrogant mask he had worn at the bonfire was entirely gone, replaced by something dark, breathless, and completely unhinged.
“What were you doing with Jake tonight?” he whispered sharply, his voice dropping into a low, gravelly register that vibrated straight through your chest.
You blinked, letting out a crazy laugh. “What? Are you serious right now? I was talking to him. Unlike you, he’s actually capable of having a normal, decent conversation.”
“You weren't just talking,” Heeseung snarled, stepping even closer, his broad chest nearly pressing against yours, forcing you to tilt your chin up just to look into his eyes. His gaze dropped directly to your lips before flashing back up to your eyes, dark and entirely starved. “You were leaning into him. You were laughing at his pathetic jokes. You were doing it on purpose, right in front of me.”
“And why the hell should I care what you think?” you shot back, your voice trembling slightly from how close he was, the heat radiating off his body making your skin flush. “You’re not my keeper, Heeseung. If I want to flirt with Jake, which I wasn’t. I don’t owe you anything.”
“You do,” Heeseung breathed out, his jaw clenching so hard a violent tremor ran through his shoulders. He reached out, his hand hovering inches from your neck before he tightly balled it into a fist and dropped it back to his side, struggling for control.
“What?”
“You don’t look at him the way you look at me. You don’t fight him the way you fight me. You’re denying it, but you know exactly what’s happening here.”
“Nothing is happening here!” you lied, forcing the words out through a breathless throat, completely desperate to pull the pieces of your pride back together before he saw how undone you truly were. “I don’t feel anything for you besides pure annoyance. Now get off my porch and go back to Chaewon.”
Heeseung stared down at you for a long, agonizingly quiet second. The volatile, dark jealousy in his eyes slowly shifted back into a cold, shuttered wall of stone. He let out a sharp, cynical breath through his nose, stepping back out of your personal space, restoring the suffocating distance between you.
“Fine,” he said flatly, his voice turning completely devoid of emotion. “Keep playing your little games, stray. Just don’t expect me to be there to catch you when your little act completely falls apart.”
He turned on his heel, descending the porch steps with quick, heavy strides, disappearing into the dark, quiet streets of Lunaris before you could even draw another breath.
You stood alone on the porch, your knees trembling slightly as you unlocked your door and slid inside, locking it tightly behind you. Pressing your back against the wood, you slid down to the floor, staring blindly into the dark house, your heart still hammering a frantic, echoing rhythm against your ribs.
Hi guys new upload! Hope you enjoy🤗 Lmk if you have any story suggestions 🧘🏾♀️
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warning : cussing, mentions of death, sexual themes , teasing, taking advantage of (will be updated by chapter)
synopsis : an insane virus outbreak has cause humans to die and reincarnate as flesh eating zombies. losing all her family y/n is stranded all alone promising never to get close to another person again. until discovered upon she enters a new society where she meets heeseung. a pain in her ass, but what happens when the one thing she swore never to do again, happens. will it be for better or for worse?
wc : 4.7k
genre : apocalypse, mini-series, enemies to lovers
involved : Sunghoon, Jake, Ni-ki from ENHYPEN, Chaewon from LESSERAFIM, Winter from AESPA, James from CORTIS, Nicholas from &TEAM, Minji from NEWJEANS, and Taeyang from BIGBANG.
!NOT PROFF READ!
The rest of the walk to city hall is quiet between you and Heeseung. After your comments about his dad he doesn’t say anything else, noted.
You also notice how every once and a while he takes glimpses at you, you’re pretty sure he thinks you can’t notice but you do, you nice every single look. You can’t deny that he is extremely attractive but his personality takes that feature away from him. You ponder in your thoughts wondering what you did for this man not to like you this much, but I'll guess we’ll never know.
You guys finally reach city hall and walk in. Holy shit this place looks straight out of a tv show. He opens the door and of course he doesn’t hold it open for you, typical.
“Sunghoon, can you prepare the room for me?” Heeseung says towards Sunghoon who's sitting behind a desk. “Yea, Hi y/n” He says before walking away, I guess he’s my friend now?
You continue to stand there confused on what to do when Heeseung notices “You can just sit, Chae will get you when it’s time” he huffs and walks away like he can’t stand to be around you. “Wait I literally have no idea who tha-” you say, but he just walks off before you can finish.
Great.
A couple minutes go by and you think you’re going to go crazy. You don;t know anyone so you can’t converse leaving you to just sit in silence.
You start to think about Heeseung, wondering what causes him to be like that, I mean his family is here so it clearly can't be that. Maybe he got his heart broken and hates all women, you think to yourself, or maybe he’s just a dick. Either way he will never be a friend of yours.
A girl starts to walk up to you with a black bob and bangs, holy she’s gorgeous you think. “Hi, are you y/n?” She asked, holding a clip board with what looks like a file of you, weird. “Yeah, I am.” you say.
“Follow me”
She starts to walk away and you follow her because it seems like you should. You guys walk past hallways with rooms filled with children, maybe this is a school too? You don’t know this place is confusing. You guys enter a stairway and go up just one flight. Reaching a door with a gold tag that says “TAEYANG” in big bold letters, bougie. The girl knocks on the door and a man with dirty blonde hair parted down the middle in a white button up opens it.
“Come in y/n” He says, gesturing to you to come in. “Thank you Chaewon, you may leave” He says, stepping behind you and closing the door. Chaewon… You think back to when Heeseung said “Chae will get you.” Chae is Chaewon, a nickname for a girl, huh, she gave her a nickname, received. You look around and see a plain desk with pictures everywhere, they look like they’re from pre-outbreak. Taeyang, you’re guessing, walks towards you and leads you to another room inside the office.
You start to get a weird feeling in your stomach, so you put your guard up. “Where are we going” you speak out, getting nervous “One second.” That’s all he says.
Your heart starts racing and you’re about to get defensive when he opens another door to a table with a metal silver table and a light. You walk in and look round, and see Heeseung leaning against the right wall with his arms crossed. “What is this?” You ask still concerned
“I told you and I’m pretty sure Jake did too” He says “Sit down.” He demands and you refuse, who is he to tell you that? “Heeseung please, y/n sit down please. Sorry for his attitude” Taeyang says, pulling out the chair.
You take a seat and place your hands on the table. There are two chairs in front of you and they both take a seat, both holding clipboards like they’re therapists or something. “Ok, listen, whenever we get a new recruit they have to get an intensive interrogation just to make sure everything adds up.” Taeyang says “Me and my dad are just going to ask you questions and answer truthfully” Heeseung adds. “No pressure.” Taeyang ends.
No pressure right? You think to yourself, you’re ready to answer every single question they’re about to throw at you. You can take it, you’re strong, you think to yourself.
“Whats your full name?” Taeyang asks
“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N” You say confidently
“Where are you from?”
“Seoul, Korea,”
“How long have you been alone?”
“2 years,” You say. This is light work you think.
“Have you ever been with anyone else since the outbreak?”
“Only my sister and Nicholas”
“Where’s your sister at the moment?”
“Dead” you say flatly
Taeyang shakes his head, jotting some notes down. “Good. Y/n you’re doing great so far.
There’s a break of silence in the room while Heeseung and Taeyang make some last minute notes, then Taeyang speaks up “Ok Heeseung will take over the next set of questions.” You nod in agreement.
“Have you ever killed anyone that wasn’t infected?” He asks to make close eye contact with you.
“Yes.”
You speak truthfully. A couple weeks after your parents passed away there was still a fair share of non-infectious people. You and Hanni were walking along the side of the road when you saw a woman being taken advantage of. You knew that in your heart you had to help her so you ran over with Hanni and tried to pull him off her. When he did he laid hands on Hanni and it made your blood boil. You tried over and over again to get him to let go but he didn’t. Eventually one thing led to another and you were bashing his head in with a rock you found on the floor.
It traumatized Hanni, so that was the first and last time you ever killed someone.
Your mind strays from that memory, eyes tearing up but you push them away focusing back on the interrogation.
“Was it your sister?” Heeseung asks
“What?”
“You mentioned your sister was dead, was the person you killed your sister?” He asks again more sternly this time.
“You think I killed my sister?” You ask in disbelief
“It’s just a question y/n” Taeyang says, chiming in.
“Fuck you, I didn’t kill my sister” you spit
“Y/n please, it’s just a security question. No need to be upset” Taeyang reminds you again to chill out.
“Whatever” you say
“Anyways to get back on topic, when was your last physical contact with the infected?” Heeseung asks
“About two days before I got here” You say
“Have you been bitten or scratched?” Heeseung asks and you look at him like he’s an idiot.
“I hope not, or else I wouldn't be here right now” You say sarcastically.
A few more questions get asked which you answer truthfully not letting your temper get the best of you again. “Ok y/n this is the last part of the interview. It might be hard to comprehend but just know it’s for the best” Taeyang says putting down his clipboard
“Ok, what is it?” You ask, getting nervous once again. God what is it about this family that makes you so nervous?
“Just to be 100% sure you have no marks, we're going to have to ask you to remove your clothes.” He says calmly like this is an everyday procedure. “What the hell? Yea, that’s not happening” You laugh
“If it makes you feel better I step out every time. It’ll just be you and Heeseung.” He reassures you. “Actually no, it doesn’t” You cross your arms. “What kind of weird incest thing is this?”
“Can you just do it? I have places to be” Hesseung argues from the opposite of you “Oh yeah really? Like bossing around everyone else in this community” you say being sarcastic.
“Dad just go, I want to get this over with as quick as possible” Heeseung says standing up.
Taeyang stands up and walks out of the room giving you a complying look which to you is saying “Please don’t make this more difficult than it should be.”
Yea right.
After Taeyang walks out of the room you and Heeseung just stand there staring at each other. Instead of the stare being a nervous one it’s one that sees who’s going to break first.
Heeseung, who’s already standing up across from you, starts to walk your way and your heart drops. What is he doing? You think to yourself. “Listen I don’t want to do this as much as you do, so let’s just get it over with, hmm?” He says still walking your way like he’s trying to seduce you.
“Listen I don’t know what you’re doing, but my clothes are not coming off” You gulp.
You stand up as well, so that your ego doesn’t feel so small compared to his right now, but you can’t seem to move when you do. “Just do it y/n” He says putting his hands in his pockets, but still managing to walk towards you. “N-no” You say slipping up stuttering collapsing your act.
“Are you nervous?” He asks, finally reaching you and then he stops.
“Why would I be nervous?” you say, lifting your chin up becoming somewhat dominant again, or so you think.
“because you're holding your breath"
He starts walking closer towards you and this time because he’s so close to you, you start backing up with every step he takes. “Stop” you say but deep down part of you wants to continue seeing where this goes. “You don’t want me too, do you?” He asks
“No” You struggle and he laughs in your face. “Thought so” He says.
Finally with all the back and forth walking you finally hit the wall and Heeseung is standing right in front of you. You start to notice all his features, like how tall he is that he’s practically towering over you or how chiseled his nose is, and more importantly his eyes. They’re big and brown, reminding you of a deer only making you more attracted to him. He notices you staring at his face and he smirks causing you to look back down at the floor. He walks closer and lifts your chin and says “Take off your clothes y/n”
You can’t stop thinking about the throbbing pain in your legs, your body trembles and shivers with pressure building up inside you. Heeseung realizes that you still haven’t given him an answer, so the hold on your chin tightens and he pulls you closer “Y/n, take off your clothes. I’m not going to ask again.” he demands and eventually you comply. “O-ok” you say, still stuttering.
“Good girl”
You start to remove your camo tank while his eyes trail down your torso and back up landing on your black sports bra, causing your breath to halt and you stop.
Heeseung starts to trail your skin starting at your shoulder and continuing down your arm and you shudder but unbutton your pants. Stepping out of them Heeseung places his hands on your waist pulling you off the wall in a quick motion.
You gasp and fall into him. He lifts you lightly off the floor and makes you stand up straight. “Stay still,” he says.
You’re in the middle of Taeyang's office in your bra and panties while Heeseung, the guy you can’t seem to stand, is behind you trailing every inch of your body with his eyes and hands. Every touch he places on you makes you more and more tense and he notices.
He places his head on your right shoulder whispering in your ear, “ease up, I haven’t even really started yet” he says and you think to yourself what hasn’t he started? Was he actually going to touch you the way you’re craving right now?
He moves through your body parts checking off every non-scratched place.
“Neck, check”
“Shoulders, check”
“Arms, check”
Heeseung then lowers himself, getting on his knees facing right in front of the part that's been throbbing for the past couple of minutes. He grips your waist, breathing against the skin under your underwear, pushing his face closer and closer while your breath halts.
He lifts his head up to see your head tilted back and eyes closed “Hey look at me” He says and you pry your eyes open to see his deer eyes looking at you like he wants to devour you inside and out. “Shall I continue?” he says.
With no hesitation, you say yes, closing your eyes once more, preparing for Heeseung's touch once again. It’s been a couple seconds and he hasn’t made a move yet when you feel his hands pry from your body and he stands up
“Wait, what are you doing?” You are confused by him leaving you on edge. He looks at you smirking and puts his hands in his pockets.
“You’re so easy it’s pathetic” he laughs in your face and humiliation takes over your entire body. He watches you as you cover your body with your hands, “No need to hide, you were 10 seconds away from letting me eat you out” he laughs walking towards the door and opening it.
Before walking out he takes one more look at you and says “get dressed, you’re clear” then he shuts the door right in front of your face.
“God, what is wrong with me?” you say to yourself throwing all your clothes back on your body. How could you let yourself fall to the knees of Mr. Nepo baby aka dickhead. You should’ve had more self respect for yourself. You know it’s been a while since you’ve been touched but still, pull it together you think.
When you get back to your house you head to the shower washing away all of Heeseung's touch. You’re scrubbing your body like you haven’t showered in ages.
You think back to an hour ago when you were in the hands of him, despite you feeling worthless and embarrassed that he even went to those levels to what? Mess with you? But still everything felt really good, the way your stomach felt heavy and light and the way every touch of his started to strip you from your innocence and all the self respect you have and the downside about it is, you want it to happen again.
Getting out of the shower you throw a sweat set on with a pair of shoes. You’re tying your hair into a low bun when the siren for lunch goes off and you make your way to the dining hall. Opening the front door you spot Winter sitting on the bench on your porch looking like she was waiting for you.
“Winter?” You say confused. She turns around with a huge smile on her face running up and giving you a hug. You accept and put a smile on your face as you guys walk together.
“Sooo how was the big interrogation?” She asks all giddy and it causes you to think back to the incident
Heeseung,
Horny,
No clothes.
You snap back to reality and answer “It went well” you say and it wasn’t a total lie.
“That’s good, I’m glad you didn’t let them get to you. It can get really intense there. I remember my interrogation, I cried so hard.” She says laughing and you join her.
“Well let’s just say I’m a tough girl to crack.” You answer back.
You two walk into the dining hall and your eyes immediately fall onto Heeseung, he’s sitting at the table laughing at some joke James made. You walk over and sit next to Nico who you give a hug to and sit right in front of him, you also end up greeting everyone but Heeseung and he doesn’t pay any mind to it.
The whole time at lunch you try everything to get his attention so that you can edge him and make him feel the same pain you did but nothing works. You run your foot up his leg, try and make direct eye contact, talk really loudly to get his attention. Nothing works, it’s like you're invisible.
You finally come up with the idea of kicking him directly in the shin and you do “OW! What the fuck?” he says and everyone stops their conversations to look at you.
You play the perfect scared little innocent girl who is afraid of him because of past treatment. “Oh I'm so sorry please don’t be mad I felt something up my leg. I was startled, that's all.” You say with your forced puppy dog eyes.
“You’re a fucking liar” he spits back at you
“Hee chill, she just made a tiny mistake” Jake says defending you instantly “Yea come on, you don’t have to be so hard on her” Nico backs up just like you knew they would.
“Whatever” Heeseung scoffs and everyone goes back to their conversations but not him, he just glares at you and you flash that same smirk he did at you not too long ago.
Checkmate bitch.
The tension at the dining table remains thick enough to cut with a knife even after conversations resume around you. Nico turns his attention back to his plate, but his shoulder stays pressed firmly against yours, offering a silent line of defense. Jake shoots you an encouraging look across the table, leaning back in his chair like he's keeping an invisible eye on Heeseung.
Heeseung doesn't pick up his fork again. He sits back, thick arms crossed over his black shirt, his jaw visibly working as he grinds his teeth. His dark deer eyes never leave your face. The smug, untouchable attitude he had in the interrogation room is completely gone, replaced by a brooding, sharp irritation that warms the pit of your stomach. You shattered his cool composure right in front of his crew, and seeing his pride take a hit makes the lingering humiliation from earlier almost worth it.
“Hey,” Nico whispers, bumping his elbow into yours. “You alright? Your face is a little red.”
“Just hot in here,” you murmur back, finally tearing your eyes away from Heeseung to look at Nico. “The walk over got to me, I guess.”
“Heeseung’s just in an extra shifty mood today,” James says from across the table, taking a bite of his food. “Don’t take it to heart, y/n. He’s been out checking the perimeter sensors since four in the morning.” Perimeter sensors? You didn’t even know they had those. Why the extra security measures if only zombies are out there?
“It’s fine,” you say, letting your voice go soft and innocent, making sure it carries just enough for Heeseung to hear. “I know he carries a lot of responsibility. I'll just have to keep my feet to myself from now on.”
A sharp, quiet scowl cuts across Heeseung’s face, his fingers digging into his own biceps. Before he can start another argument, Winter stands up and taps your shoulder. “Hey, let’s go grab our food before the line closes for the evening. Are you coming?”
“Yeah, let’s go,” you say, sliding out of your seat. You take a deliberate moment to stretch, smoothing down the front of your sweat set, keeping your movements slow. When you look up, Heeseung’s eyes are tracking the line of your hands against your waist. You hold his intense gaze for a fraction of a second, letting the smirk play on your lips one last time before you turn your back on him and follow Winter out.
The walk through the dining hall is filled with Winter’s bright, endless chatter about the community's daily chore schedule, but your mind is completely elsewhere. Your shins still feel the echo of where his heavy hands held you against the wall. The memory of him dropping to his knees, his hot breath brushing against your bare skin, loops continuously in your head. You hate him, but the thrill of hitting back at lunch keeps the shame from completely taking over. You aren’t just a game to him.
By the time night falls, the city grows quiet. The heavy municipal lights are dialed down to save power, leaving the corridors of the city hall building washed in a dim, amber glow from the back-up panels.
Unable to sit still in your room, you find yourself wandering toward the old records library—a dusty, high-ceilinged room packed with donated paperbacks, maps, and pre-outbreak field guides. Located near the dining hall. It’s quiet, smelling of old paper and stale coffee from a stand outside, a welcome relief from the suffocating air of the residential block.
You wander down a narrow aisle, scanning the faded spines for anything to distract your racing mind, when a heavy shadow falls over the light.
The scent hits you a second before the presence does—rain, cedarwood, and the distinct, cold edge of outdoor sweat.
“Think you’re funny, don’t you?”
You freeze, your fingers still touching the edge of a book. You don’t need to look up to know who it is. Heeseung steps deep into the aisle, crowding his large frame directly behind you until his chest is barely an inch from your back, trapping you against the shelf. The sudden heat coming off him makes your pulse spike instantly.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say smoothly, refusing to let your voice shake, though your heart begins to slam against your ribs.
“The little routine at the table,” he mutters, his voice dropping to a low, gravelly rasp right next to your ear. “The fragile girl act. Getting Jake and Nico to jump to your rescue like you’re some helpless piece of glass.”
You slowly turn around, forcing him to take a half-step back, though he doesn't give up an inch of his height, towering over you in the narrow space. You look up, locking eyes with him. “They stepped in because you were yelling over an accident. Maybe if you weren’t such a massive dick to everyone, people wouldn’t immediately assume you’re the villain.” You smile
Heeseung lets out a dry, harsh laugh, leaning one hand against the bookshelf right next to your cheek, leaning down until his chiseled face is dangerously close to yours. “An accident? You looked me dead in the eyes when you did it. You wanted my attention that badly, y/n?”
“In your dreams,” you spit, though the sheer proximity is turning your mouth dry. The memory of his hands tracking your waist in the office flashes behind your eyelids, thick and distracting. Your body reacts automatically to the closeness, a heavy, familiar ache settling deep between your thighs.
His eyes flick down to your lips, then move slowly down to the collarbone showing at the edge of your oversized sweatshirt. That same toxic, mocking smirk returns to his face. “Look at you. You’re holding your breath again. Still thinking about what happened in the office? Being easy for me again?”
“Get away from me, Heeseung.” You place both hands firmly against his chest to shove him back, but he stays solid as a rock. Beneath your palms, you can feel the rapid, heavy thud of his own heart.
“You talk big out there,” he whispers, his free hand coming up to grab your chin, his grip tightening instantly, forcing your head up just like he did during the interrogation. The hold is firm, unyielding, demanding your full compliance. “But back here, there’s no audience. No Nico to pull me off you. No dad to tell me to be nice.”
Your breath catches completely. The throbbing in your legs intensifies, a sharp rush of heat making your knees feel loose. You hate him so intensely it hurts, but your skin feels like it's on fire wherever his fingers touch. You hate that he knows exactly how to break your defenses with a single look and he hasn’t even known you for a week, how pathetic are you?
“What’s the matter?” he taunts, his thumb pressing hard against your bottom lip, dragging it down slightly. “Lost your attitude? Where’d all that fire go?”
“I can’t stand you,” you whisper, the heat of your breath hitting his face.
“Good,” he murmurs, his brown eyes darkening into something ravenous, looking down at you like he wants to break you completely. “Keep it that way. It makes this a lot more fun.”
He holds you pinned there for one more long, agonizing second, his fingers digging into your chin until it leaves a dull ache, keeping you entirely suspended on his next move. For a fleeting instant, you think he’s actually going to lean down and take what he was teasing earlier, but then he abruptly drops his hand, stepping back into the dark corridor.
“Don’t test me again, y/n,” he says, his tone instantly reverting back to the cold, distant soldier. “Next time you try to make a scene, I won’t wait until we’re behind closed doors to settle it.”
He turns on his heel and disappears into the hallway, leaving you leaning against the shelf, chest heaving as you try to steady your trembling legs in the empty room.
Sleep is a lost cause. Every time you close your eyes, you feel his hands lifting you off the floor or see the dark intensity of his stare. By 2:30 AM, you give up completely, tossing the blanket aside. You slip your jacket over your sweats and step out into the crisp night air to clear your head.
The central courtyard is completely vacant, save for the sweeping searchlights from the watchtowers cutting through the midnight fog. You walk over to the western concrete wall, leaning your forearms against the barrier, looking out at the black, rustling tree line of the forest outside.
“Can’t sleep?”
You jump slightly, turning your head to the side.
Taeyang is standing a few paces away, a steaming metal mug held between his hands. He’s wearing a thick wool coat, his dirty blonde hair tossed by the night breeze. His face looks tired, but it has none of the cruel sharpness his son carries.
“Yeah,” you mutter, pulling your jacket tighter. “Just adjusting, I guess.”
Taeyang walks closer, leaning against the wall next to you, looking out at the dark woods. “Two years alone is a long time. Your brain stays wired for a fight even when you’re safe behind concrete. It takes time for the nervous system to realize the threat is gone.”
“It’s not just the walls,” you say quietly, testing how much he notices.
Taeyang lets out a soft, knowing sigh, the steam from his mug rising into the air. “Heeseung.”
You stay quiet, staring ahead.
“He’s a lot to handle, I know,” Taeyang says, his voice full of a heavy, fatherly exhaustion. “He wasn’t always this cynical, y/n. Before everything went down, he was just a normal kid. Focused on his friends, music, sports. But when the world ended… he had to see things and do things no one his age should have to. He grew to believe that any form of vulnerability is a death sentence. He leads with anger because he’s terrified of failing the people who depend on him.”
“That doesn't give him the right to treat people like objects,” you say, your voice hardening as the humiliation from the interrogation bubbles back up. “To play sadistic mind games just because he can.”
“No, it doesn't,” Taeyang agrees gently, turning to look at you. “And I’m truly sorry for how he behaved during your physical check. He pushes the security measures too far. But he’s hyper-protective of this place. If he’s hard on you, it’s only because he doesn't know where your loyalties lie yet.”
Taeyang taps the side of his mug. “Give it time. You’re part of the community now, y/n. Don’t let him make you feel isolated.”
“Thanks, Taeyang,” you say, feeling a slight ease in your chest from his words.
He gives you a warm nod, turning back toward the main building. “Get some rest soon. The temperature drops fast before dawn.”
As his footsteps die down, you look back out at the dark horizon. Taeyang’s explanation makes sense, but it doesn't change anything. You don't care about Heeseung's past or his heavy responsibilities. He made himself your enemy, and you aren't going to let him win.
Holaaaa!! Ok second chapter is out!! How we like?? Btw if you guys have any suggestions on what fics i should write leave me a message I would love to see everyone’s ideas! Sorry if you think we’re moving too fast, I’m going to try and keep the series short so like max 10 chapters just so I don’t drag it out. I should upload every other day but if not i will definitely let you guys know! Thank you for all the love i’ve gotten so far and J hope you enjoy 🧘🏾♀️🥰
warnings : cussing, mentions of death, sexual themes , (will be updated by chapter)
synopsis : an insane virus outbreak has cause humans to die and reincarnate as flesh eating zombies. losing all her family y/n is stranded all alone promising never to get close to another person again. until discovered upon she enters a new society where she meets heeseung. a pain in her ass, but what happens when the one thing she swore never to do again, happens. will it be for better or for worse?
wc : 3.8k
genre : apocalypse, mini-series, enemies to lovers
involved : Sunghoon, Jake, Ni-ki from ENHYPEN, Chaewon from LESSERAFIM, Winter from AESPA, James from CORTIS, Nicholas from &TEAM, Minji from NEWJEANS, and Taeyang from BIGBANG.
! NOT PROOF READ !
“Hey are you alone?” A guy calls out, he’s super tall with blond and black hair, like an oreo. “Who’s asking?” You shout back in suspicion. The last time you remember seeing someone before your sister died was Nicholas, and that was over three years ago. So of course your guards were up.
“I just need to know you’re alone, then I’ll answer questions" He says. Still keeping a distance from you. “I’m alone” You say. Genuinely, what’s the worst that could happen?
The guy comes closer and you realize he is with a girl, which makes your nervousness die down. “Hi, I’m Riki, and this is Minji.” He says holding out your hand. You hesitate to shake it but go in for it anyway. “Do you want to tell me yours?” That’s when you realize you forgot to respond. “Oh, my name is y/n” you say in a low voice.
“Well hi y/n, we would like to propose to you with an opportunity that not many get” He starts off when Minji tags along to finish his words “We live in a city named Lunaris, we scout people who are mainly strays to come and join us.” She says
“A city? Is this a joke or something” You say with an attitude. You remember all the major cities being destroyed in order to stop the spread of the virus. “Nope, it’s an actual city. All modernized and everything.” Riki says “Our leader Taeyang spent years building it back up after it was bombed when the outbreak first started.” Minji says.
“We have a civilization of four thousand people working together to maintain a clean and safe environment.” Riki finally finishes “We come out here to scout people to join our community if they look like they need help.” Minji says which offends you. “What makes you think I need help” you say with a certain strain in your voice.
“Well you look like you haven’t showered in years, your hair is a mess, you're clearly depressed, shall I go on?” Riki states which pisses you so much your blood starts to boil. “Fuck you, you can take your offer and shove it. I’m not going anywhere” You spit and walk away.
“Wait, fuck I’m sorry, we really want you to come with us it will change your mind aout this whole thing I promise” Minji runs after you “Don’t mind Riki, he’s a dick” she states “Hey I can literally hear you!” He shouts. “Whatever, just come. If you don’t like it you can leave. I promise, we won't trap people, but I promise, you’ll like it.” Minji insists.
You sit there and consider your options, maybe you should go. If you think about it it’s either staying out here by yourself and continuing the depressed cycle, or go. Meet new people and socialize for the first time in years. Maybe this could be a great opportunity to start over?
“So?” Riki stays wreaking you out of the trance you were in. “ Fine” you say plain and simple.
“Oh yay! You won’t regret it.” Minji claps “OK, lets leave before sundown.
You guys start the drive back to Lunaris, which feels like eternity. You sit in the back of what looks like a Toyota from 2003. You begin to get irritated because Riki won’t shut his mouth and it’s driving you crazy.
“Dude i wonder what everyone’s gonna think of the newcomer” he says acting like you’re not even right there. “bro did you see the move nicholas pulled on that zombie the other day” he asks again.
Nicholas? Could it really be him?
“Oh my gosh, you should’ve seen the fit heeseung threw after he got in trouble with dad” he says once again “Oh my god Riki shut your mouth for once” Minji fusses. “Sorry, you know I just hate awkward silence” He says, throwing his hands up. “Well it wouldn’t be awkward if someone,” She says looking at you through the mirror “would converse with us” she finishes.
“y/n? Do you want to say something” Minji asks. “No.” You reply dryly, staring out the window. “Really? You don’t even want to give us a quick backstory?" Riki asks. “Not necessary” you say, dryly once again. “Whatever” Riki says again. The conversation ends up getting boring so you decide to take a nap, hoping to kill time easily.
You finally awake when you hear the car coming to a halt. You rub your eyes with a confused look. Looking outside you see that you stopped in front of woods, why do you always end up in woods? Riki takes out a walkie-talkie that you didn’t know he had until now. “A mile away, start opening it up, over” He talks into the walkie. “Gotcha, over” a person says back.
The car starts again proceeding through the woods. “Ah y/n you’re going to love it here!” she claps. You guys finally pull up to the now open gate and your jaw drops.
It looks like a modernized city before the outbreak, might be even better.
“Holy shit” you say scooting closer to the window gaping. “I knew it,” Minji smirks.
Riki pulls into the entrance way and your jaw is still open. There’s houses, like actual houses. Parks, pools, a dining hall and so much more.
Riki rolls down his window shaking hands while still driving, which is completely impressive.
“Nishiiii, you’re back already??” a young man with slicked dark hair says. “Wasn’t much out there, but one thing really” Shrugging his shoulders. You were that one thing.
The car comes to a stop when someone comes running up, you notice a guy that looks oddly familiar. “Nicholas?” You say to yourself and Riki responds “know him?” that’s when it clicks, it is Nicholas, he wasn’t dead after all.
You run out of the car and sprint towards him “NICHOLAS!” you say and he looks like he’s seen a ghost. “Y/n?” He says confused but replaced with excitement when it finally clicks. “HOLY SHIT Y/N” he says, now running up to you as well. He looks so different, the pink hair is now blonde and he has a mullet huh, maybe anything is possible here.
You jump into his arms and hug him, this reunion almost brings you to tears. “Oh my god, I thought you died,” you say, holding on to his arm. “No, when I went hunting, they scouted me. They offered me a pla- he says smiling “so you didn’t think to come back for us?” you ask, cutting him off “no y/n, listen. I tried to come back for you and Hanni, but they didn’t let me. Said it wasn’t safe.” he says lowering his demeanor. Didn’t think it was safe? What kind of place is this, your guards are up even more now.”
“Hey Hanni, where is she?’ he says, looking around the car, getting out of your grip on his arm. You pull him back, “she passed a few years back" you say looking down. You see him start to get emotional. Hanni was like a little sibling to him, you both were so, you know his heart broke. “How?” he says “she got bit” keeping it short, sparing him the details.
He doesn’t pry anymore and just pulls you into a hug. You two stay like that for a while before a voice cuts through the air. Two people are walking over,
“Nicholas, we sent you here to park the car and not have a reunion. That can wait later. Do it” that random man says, who the hell does he think he is? You finally catch a look at what these two people look like. One of them has a burgundy kind of red hair color and he’s kind of cute? And the other one has a wolf cut that's just a regular jet black.
They both walk up to you and you have a disgusted look on your face by the way they just talked to your friend. “You must be the new comer” that voice again, it was the cute guy who was rude earlier. You take your statement back. He’s definitely not cute anymore.
“Hello? Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?” He says waving in your face realizing that you spaced out. “Not necessary” you say, matching his energy. “Well, you’re going to have to tell me your name for this to work” he says, you can tell he’s getting aggravated so your plan is working. If you can be a dick, so can I.
“Well still I don-” you get cut off by Nicholas “her name is y/n, and she just got here, so lay off heeseung,” and he pushes you towards him and that other guy. “I gotta go, but I'll see you at dinner.” Nicholas says, he hugs you then takes Riki and Minji's car away.
He hops in and zooms off, great now you’re back where you started. Around a bunch of randoms.
“Ok so y/n, I presume. This is Jake. He’s going to be your tour guide. He’ll show you around and you can ask him any questions.” The guy who apparently is named Heeseung..? Says. “Whatever, let’s just get this over with” you say, crossing your arms and moving away from where Nicholas pushed you earlier, which was closer to Heeseung. Riki and Minji walk past and Minji squeezes your hand in good luck, she was actually tolerable and reminded you of Hanni so you were ok with that. On the other hand Riki walks past Jake and says “Good luck, she can be quite the handful.” Thinking you couldn’t hear him when you did clear as day.
Heeseung takes one more look at you which felt too long for your liking before sighing and walking off.
Jake turns to you with a slight smile on his face like he was uncomfortable because of the comment Riki made. “Are you uncomfortable with me?” you ask “uhh, no not really” Jake replies scratching the back of his head. “Well you don’t need to be, i’m harmless” you say walking away hoping he would follow, and he does.
“Oh ok well let’s get started” You two start to walk around the city and now that you’re fully in, you realize that it’s amazing. There’s many houses in which people actually live that aren’t falling apart the same as the parks. The dining hall is huge with food that looks amazing making your mouth water. There are shops set up around the city that you can buy from selling all kinds of goods, it kind of reminds you of Alexandria from the Walking Dead, which you watched when you were like 10. You end up looking back at the gates wondering what would’ve you done if they hadn’t found you earlier. The difference between the city and what's behind those gates scares you but also makes you feel secure.
“This is what we call city hall, where all the stands are and where our leader Taeyang works. Basically the main areas of the city.” He points as he describes “Taeyang?” you say, wanting to get more information, but it makes sense and a city like this, especially with the kind of environment that is going on, needs a strong leader.
“Yea he built this place ground up with his sons Riki and Heeseung” Jake states “Ahh so Heeseung is your leader's son? Makes a lot more sense now.” You say making Jake laugh “Yea, Heeseung’s always like that, but don't worry he gets nicer over time” Jake says.
You continue your tour stopping in many various places, introducing you to the people of the city. Everyone seems nice and you sort of start to like it here.
“Ok this is the dining hall where we’ll eat a bit. You never need to worry about the time, an alarm goes off in the entire city signaling meal times.” Jake says and you take a look. “Wait, everyone eats at the same time, every day with each other? Sounds a bit culty” You say “No I get it, but trust me it’s actually whole some. Kind of reminds me of summer camp” Jake laughs
“Ok let me take you to your house”
It’s not that far of a walk, maybe 2 or 4 minutes from city hall which is nice, you realize that there's no cars besides the one Riki and Minji brought to you, but that's a question for later. You make it to a beautiful modern house and Jake gestures to you to step closer.
“Wait this is all mine, like I don’t have to share?” You ask in disbelief “Yea, if you’re uncomfortable we can always find you a roommate?” Jake says checking your certainty “NO! No no no, this is perfect.” you say “Thank you so much Jake. For everything.” You say with a warm smile on your face. A smile you haven’t felt in a while.
“No problem. Also there's one more thing. Tonight after dinner we have to do a background check. Well not me but Taeyang and Heeseung.” Jake says walking away before you could react, it’s like he knew you would have a problem if he mentioned Heeseung.
How could someone you just met already get under your skin this much?
You walk in your house and you’re in awe. Your heart melts. It reminds you of your old house with your family. Memories of birthdays and family dinners start to cloud your mind but you continue pushing it aside so you won’t feel those emotions anymore, you just continue to remain numb.
Going to the bathroom you look at yourself in the mirror, God you’re disgusting. Your hair is greasy and kind of matted, but you notice that there are clothes and hygiene products already there for you so, might as well use them because you didn’t really have anything to bring.
Turning on the shower you strip yourself of the same clothes you’ve been wearing for what you think is a year you notice all the scars on your body, trying to defend yourself time and time again. The shit that you went through is such a traumatic experience that you can’t bring yourself to get closure from.
Stepping into the shower you let the hot water practically oil your body thinking that it;s the only thing that can get all this grime off of you. Taking soap and shampoo to cleanse yourself thoroughly. You repeat the process of cleaning your body inch by inch over and over again until your skin is practically red.
You finally step out and moisture your skin and brush your teeth. Taking another look at yourself again and woah. This is the first time in a year where you looked like your normal self. Not some monster under filth. That’s when this weird alarm starts ringing and your mind jumps back to the conversation you had with Jake earlier about the dinner alarm. Luckily for you, you were starving. You throw on a pair of sweats and a tank top that was already at your house when you go there with a pair of sneakers.
Walking down to the dining hall you get clouded by your thoughts again, but not about stuff you refuse to think about, instead it was Lunaris. This place could be your new home and everyone here is so nice. People smile at you as you walk down the sidewalk even though they’ve never met you. It seems you are late to dinner because you walked slower than normal taking everything in and when you do everyone is already seated and eating.
Nicholas spots you from afar calling you to come over and everyone shoots their eyes towards you, great.
“Y/n, oh my you actually look normal.” Nicholas says being sarcastic “oh fuck you Nico.” You're laughing. He sits back down continuing to eat and you just stand there awkward because you’ve only met a quarter of the people at this table. Then a girl comes up to you “Hey you’re new right? I’ll show you where to get your food, I’m Winter.” She says holding out her hand for you to shake.
You guys walk up to the line and start to grab food. You only grab some fruit given that you’re not yet fully comfortable with everything yet even though you are starving. “So, did Jake give you the infamous tour?” Winter asks, turning around to face you “Yes, he did. It was actually really interesting” You say laughing.
You two walk to get to the drink station “Well I’m glad that he’s gotten better at his job” She says pouring water. “Oh so like does everyone have a role here?” You ask, also pouring yourself a cup. “I mean yea, you could put it that way. That’s how everything stays in tact”
You guys walk back over to the tale and Winter tells you to sit next to her while also sitting in front of Nico making you feel safer. Nico notices that you barely have anything on your plate and gives you a fatherly look “y/n, take some.” he says sliding some of his food on your plate. “It’s fine, seriously” You say pushing it back but he doesn’t budge “No, I know you’re starving so save it” You just roll your eyes at his comment while Winter laughs to the side of you.
“So y/n, did you like your house” Jake says next to a guy with orange hair “Yeah, oh my gosh it was actually really nice. Thank you so much.” You say actually meaning it. “Don’t thank me. Just doing my job” Jake replies.
“Wait, what kind of jobs does everyone have? And how long till I can apply for one?” You say stabbing your piece of watermelon in front of you “Dude, you just got here, what could you possibly want to do but just enjoy the city? A voice cuts in from the side and that’s when you see the same dreading burgundy hair walk into the dining hall taking a seat next to Nico, Heeseung. Great.
“Um, maybe because I want to do something useful? What’s it to you” Already starting banter between you two. “Oh yeah? What could you possibly do here that we don’t already. We got a full team baby. You’re not needed” He says smirking at you already sending you over the edge.
You just met him today and he’s already giving you stupid nicknames? Well if he wants to get a rise out of you, he’s got it.
“What the hell did you just call me?” You say raising your voice “y/n I would just drop it” Nico says, holding out his hand like he’s trying to silence you knowing how short your temper can be. “No, tell me why I can’t help out” You say pushing his hands out the way. “I mean y/n he’s not wrong.” Jake shrugged and you roll your eyes “ Hoon and I are on kitchen duty, Riki and Minji scout, Obviously” He says, pointing in your direction, “ Nico and James look over the gates and occasionally rotate” pointing towards them and now you realize that the kid with orange hair is named James “Medical is Winter, Communication is Heeseung , and Navigation is Chaewon.” Jake finishes. “I mean there is security but that's more than full.” James adds.
“See, so just enjoy your time here. Stop trying to wease your way in our group” Heeseung says as he shrugged his shoulders.
Everyone becomes silent at that comment and so do you. You would’ve never imagined to feel so humiliated so fast only to have been here not even 24 hours. You decide that this isn't your scene anymore and just get up. “Wait where are you going?” Nico asks concerningly “Um, I’m a bit tired. I’ll talk to you tomorrow” You say walking away from the table.
“Nice going dick," Nico says, pushing Heeseung’s shoulder. “What? I’m being honest. She’s really only friends with you. Am I wrong?” He says packing up his trash, getting ready to leave as well. “She’s my friend,” Winter says, “Aw, well good for you” Heeseungs says, with a fake pout on his face. “I’m just saying, watch how you talk to my sister” Nico comes closer to Heeseung. “ Or what? Don’t forget who’s in charge here.” Heeseung spits at Nicholas and walks away.
The next morning you wake up more refreshed than you have in a long time. You like the idea of having the house all to yourself because you’ve lived on your own for a while. You walk to the kitchen and open the pantry to find granola bars which have always been your favorite “Ugh sweet” You say ripping one open and downing it, then another.
Heading back to your room you check the closet to find more clothes that you didn’t see earlier and throw on a camo tank with pants and boots. You brush your teeth and hair tying it up in a nice tight ponytail, thinking back to last night.
Truth be told, you hate the idea of just not doing anything, it allows your mind to go to a place that it shouldn’t make you feel it all over again. That’s why you asked for a job, but to your favor a certain someone has made it impossible for you, great.
A sudden knock comes to your front door and you rush thinking it's Nico or even Winter. When you open it, to your surprise it’s Heeseung. There he is with a disinterested look on his face. “Hello?” You say confused as hell. “Great, I see that you’ve already gotten ready. Let’s go.” He says turning around hoping you’ll follow him and you don’t.
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere with you” You say crossing your arms still at your door, which causes him to turn back around even more annoyed than 5 seconds ago. “It’s not an option. You skipped out on your background check after you ran away or whatever” He says and then it hits.
Jake did say that their leader does an intensive background check and then you realize that you did in fact miss it, shit.
“So let’s go, now” He says and you follow this time. “Why is it you and not Jake or Sunghoon?” You ask while walking beside him. “Why would they take you to see my dad?” He says
His dad is the leader? Oh this makes so much sense.
“Ohhh, nepotism at it’s finest I see” You laugh “What? Listen you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about so just shut it” He fully comes to a stop and turns towards you, closing you in. “Chill I was kidding, don’t be such a cry baby” You say tapping the side of his cheek twice, continuing to walk without him. “Lead the way daddy’s boy” You laugh and he grunts pushing past you. Finally, you got his weakness and you weren’t planning on letting go of it anytime soon. Two can play at this game.
Gotcha.
ok yay!! chapter one is complete 🥰🥰 I hope u guys enjoy! I’m trying to keep at least each chapter 3-5k words just so i don’t over whelm you guys but why do yall think of Heeseung..? Any way please like and reblog also i’m kind of stuck on where to continue so if you guys have suggestions lmk!! (finals are over tmr so we should get going!!!)