i’ve tried all forms of torture
but the biggest torture of all is keeping myself alive
i live for others just so they don’t worry
i don’t want others to live with that trauma
“how would i do it?” i ask myself
“who would find me?”
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@heavyheartedmelodies
i’ve tried all forms of torture
but the biggest torture of all is keeping myself alive
i live for others just so they don’t worry
i don’t want others to live with that trauma
“how would i do it?” i ask myself
“who would find me?”

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
no amount of pain will make this easier
i fear i’ll never amount to anything
i’ll never accomplish anything
my dreams left unfulfilled
i wish of another life
i wonder what it feels to be normal
alone and unknown
i guess i don’t want to be known
i just want people to see me and understand
im invisible to my lover
im simply for decoration
life is a series of unfortunate events

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i don’t think I’ll ever be sober
anything to escape the anxiety of reality
life doesn’t feel real, in the sense that im not sure what im doing. lately i feel like i’ve been in and out of reality due to my anxiety and lack of self awareness. sometimes i want the world to know everything about me and sometimes i want to be left alone entirely.
trigger warning:
sometimes i say i’ll jump but i never do
sometimes i say i’ll take the pills but i never do
sometimes i say i’ll run away but i stay put
what is it that weighs down on me?
-metal clouds
only this time there’s no sunshine at the end of the storm
bc the day i do it the metal cloud remains
the darkness i tried to escape lingers for everyone to observe
now it stains and they are left to cary the cloud
i have known depression for some time now
but not like this
this time it’s different
i can feel it getting heavier
i can feel it getting scarier
i have completely surrendered to it
i can’t wait to look back and be relieved that i finally did it
but for now i’ll continue to hurt myself

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i wonder when will the fun being
when is it my turn
can i have a try?
i’ve waited patiently
i was in a dream
now that i’m awake i can see
my true purpose in life
watching old videos of rupaul and just drag history. its so refreshing to see the growth of drag.
i feel like i’ll never be enough
but i’ll always be annoying
not a single close friend
we’re all merely acquaintances
loneliness doesn’t feel imaginary anymore
it’s real
constantly telling myself that i had people around me but what were their real intentions?
am i likable?
not even a little?
am i the mold that turns everything rotten?
there’s nothing more i desire than to be desired
thats it
my love will never leave u
even when u are unrecognizable
my love burns for u
you say these hurtful things but
the pain of losing u doesn’t compare
so i’ll take it if it means i can stay
i wish things would go back to the way they were
when we would go to each other’s house everyday
when all we wanted to do was cuddle
when we were nice to each other
i dont recognize u anymore
it feels so different
why are we still together when everything is crumbling down in front of us
i miss how fun it was
now we barley laugh together
i miss the old you so much
i wish he would come back

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
lonely lonely
i’ll always be lonely
i don’t know if i can make it through another year with you
yes i have problems
yes i’m jealous and crazy
yes i’m needy
but i never treated you the way you treat me
i was always kind and loving
you were too
now your cold and mean
only needing me when you’re horny and lonely
i’m on a shelf collecting dust
sometimes i get attention
most days i’m just there
observing and waiting
i don’t know how to break free
i wish you could see me
i wish you could feel what i feel