I'M A WRITER! Not a psychopath!

We wouldn’t talk. They’d tell us to do something and we’d just sit there quietly and do it, until eventually they just said “hey, guys, it’s okay to chat while you work!” and then everybody would start talking.

One teacher described it as creepy.

And I just remember thinking, what the fuck did they expect to happen? We’d all been taught from the age of four or five onwards that talking in class was bad. That if we did it, we’d be told off, or punished, or in some instances maybe the entire class would be punished along with us, just to make sure we really got the idea. It was a whole thing.

But now, because we were sixth-formers and therefore ‘grown ups’, we were suddenly expected to flip a switch and be able to talk as much as we liked? The whole reason we were in sixth-form was because we had worked hard, done well at school, and generally followed the rules— but still the teachers couldn’t understand why we didn’t just talk to each other.

Now I’m at uni, and seminar tutors are having a similar problem. People will talk in seminars, but a lot of them will insist on raising their hands and waiting to be called upon first. “Don’t put your hands up, just shout at me!” the guy keeps saying. But they keep doing it anyway.

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roach

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

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how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

roach

how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

roach

how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

roach

how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

roach

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the-universe-at-large

roach:

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YES YOU DID

high-saffron

the more you reblog this the more it breaks

the-universe-at-large

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO

dangergays

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

But way back then this old, wrinkled by the book, whack you on the hands with a ruler lady who taught my art class told me that I would never make it as an artist. That if I tried I’d die in a ditch penniless and alone. 

Just because I’d like playing by the book. 

Now I never expected to be an artist. At that time I wanted to be a veterinarian. 

Art was a hobby. 

It’s still a hobby.

But this lady told a kid who wouldn’t follow these redundant rules for perfect art that they would die penniless and alone because they didn’t want to follow said rules. 

A kid. 

You are so very welcome!!! I’m so glad you’re enjoying it!! And I couldn’t agree more about Daniel lol. He’s my favorite, my first whumpee, and one of the reasons I got my degree in history. Daniel means the world to me. I love him. 

Do I have fic recs? YOU BET YOUR SWEET BIPPY I DO!!!! This got really long so if you don’t mind I’m just gonna post the links. Trust me. They’re all great :D

Don’t Mess With Danny

Bullies and Women Oh the Life of a Geek

Surrogate Father

The Barista (this one is not whumpy but read it anyway okay. it’s the best)

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines

Don’t Go Away

A Change of Orders

HurtComfort

Counting to Ten

Tumbling Down

The Bridge

Need

Could it be Forever

Drifting on the Wind as Light as a Feather

Fire in the Belly

Trees Are Crying Leaves Into The Darkness

No Evil

The Stuff of Legends

Lost In Translation

The Perfect Recipe

Celebrate Me Home

No Man Left Behind

Beloved

What Dreams May Come

Cocidian

Solitudes Redux

Up Canada Creek Without a Paddle

The Thorn Beast

ALSO I am going to recommend some of the Stargate novels that are super whumpy and SO GOOD:

STARGATE SG-1: Hall of the Two Truths By Susannah Parker Sinard

Summary:

After suffering a brutal attack off-world, each member of SG-1 finds themselves stranded alone in the Ancient Egyptian afterlife — and on a journey through the Book of the Dead.

With reality shifting around them, Colonel O’Neill, Dr. Daniel Jackson, Major Carter and Teal’c must each navigate a treacherous path toward final judgment in the Hall of the Two Truths. On the way, they will be tested to their mental and physical limits by their past mistakes, their greatest fears and their deepest desires…

In this classic SG-1 adventure, the team must dig deep to survive. Their only hope of escape lies in finding each other, but in this place where nothing and no one is what it seems, who do they trust and what do they dare to believe?

STARGATE SG-1: Four Dragons By Diana Dru Botsford

Summary:

It was meant to be a soft mission, something to ease Doctor Daniel Jackson back into things after his time among the Ancients — after all, what could possibly go wrong on a simple survey of ancient Chinese ruins? As it turns out, a whole lot.

After accidentally activating a Goa’uld transport ring, Daniel finds himself the prisoner of Lord Yu, the capricious Goa’uld System Lord. Meanwhile, SG1’s efforts to rescue their friend are hampered by a representative of the Chinese government with an agenda of his own to follow — and a deep secret to hide.

But Colonel Jack O’Neill is in no mood for delay. He’ll go to any lengths to get Daniel back — even if it means ignoring protocol and taking matters into his own hands.

STARGATE SG-1: The Barque of Heaven By Suzanne Wood

Summary:

Millennia ago, at the height of his power, the System Lord Ra decreed that any Goa’uld wishing to serve him must endure a great trial. Victory meant power and prestige, defeat brought banishment and death.

On a routine expedition to an abandoned Goa’uld world, SG-1 inadvertently initiate Ra’s ancient trial – and once begun, the trial cannot be halted. Relying on Dr. Daniel Jackson’s vast wealth of knowledge, Colonel O’Neill must lead his team from planet to planet, completing each task in the allotted time. There is no rest, no respite. To stop means being trapped forever in the farthest reaches of the galaxy, and to fail means death.

Victory is their only option in this terrible test of endurance – an ordeal that will try their will, their ingenuity, and above all their bonds of friendship…

STARGATE SG-1: Siren Song By Holly Scott & Jaimie Duncan

Summary:

Bounty-hunter Aris Boch once more has his sights on SG-1. But this time Boch isn’t interested in trading them for cash. He needs the unique talents of Dr. Daniel Jackson – and he’ll do anything to get them.

Colonel Jack O’Neill and his team are taken to Boch’s ravaged home-world and handed over to the insane Goa’uld, Sebek. Obsessed with opening a mysterious subterranean vault, Sebek demands that Jackson translate the arcane writing on the doors. When Jackson refuses, the Goa’uld resorts to devastating measures to ensure his cooperation.

With the vault exerting an increasingly malign influence, Sebek compels Jackson and O’Neill toward a horror that threatens both their sanity and their lives. Meanwhile, Carter and Teal’c struggle to persuade the starving people of Aris Boch’s world to risk everything they have to save SG-1 – and free their desolate world of the Goa’uld forever.

STARGATE SG-1: Hostile Ground By Sally Malcolm & Laura Harper

Excerpt:

“Teal’c, how far?”

The colonel’s words were clipped, each one bitten off like a curse as he knelt next to Daniel in the mud. Sam couldn’t see what he was doing, didn’t dare take her eyes off the rain-sodden tree line, but she could smell the antiseptic and heard Daniel hiss in a sharp breath.

“We are now less than a kilometer from the Stargate,” Teal’c said. He crouched next to her, staff weapon raised and his arm brushing against hers, making the most of the scant cover they shared – a fallen tree, rotting in the incessant rain. It wouldn’t do much against a staff blast but it was better than nothing. She glanced up at the heavy sky, the clouds hiding a multitude of dangers. If those gliders came back…

Breathing hard, breathing through pain, Daniel said, “I’m okay. I can make it.”

“Damn right you can.” The colonel’s growl made it an order as he ripped open another field dressing. Sam heard Daniel’s shout of pain as the colonel pressed the bandage onto the wound. She didn’t know how badly he was injured, but it had to be serious for the colonel to risk stopping their breakneck flight to the Stargate.

Movement – a fleeting shadow back in the tree line. She wiped rain from her face and eyes, squinting through the curtain of water that slanted across the open ground between SG-1 and the edge of the forest. Yes, there it was again, a glint of gold amid the trees. “Sir,” she said, finger itchy on the trigger, “you might want to hurry that up.”

“What do you think I’m doing, Carter?”

She ignored his sharp tone. “Teal’c, do you see them? Two-o’clock.”

“I do.” He shifted his position, taking aim.

“Sir?” she risked a glance over her shoulder. Daniel was ashen, his jacket torn and dark with blood where the staff blast had hit, just above the hip and below his tac vest. She glimpsed a white compression bandage through the torn fabric. He grimaced as he moved, trying to stand.

The colonel put a restraining hand on his shoulder and looked over at Sam. She knew that look, the flat uncompromising expression that shut everything down. It meant they were in trouble. “Daniel and I are gonna head for the gate,” he said, starting to pack away the med-kit with quick, efficient movements. “You and Teal’c hold them here as long as you can, then come after us.” He stuffed his gear back into his vest and tugged the bill of his cap lower. “Don’t leave it too long, Major.”

She understood. If they were too slow getting back to the gate, there was a real danger they’d be outflanked. “Yes sir. Good luck.”

His only reply was a curt nod before he turned to Daniel. “Ready?”

“Sure,” Daniel said, teeth gritted. “How hard can it be?”

“Attaboy,” the colonel said as he helped Daniel to his feet. “We might have to run.”

Daniel nodded, turning from ashen to milky, but determined as ever. “Let’s go.”

Sam looked away, back to the enemy hiding in the trees, but not before she’d seen the bloom of scarlet on Daniel’s dressing. She swallowed a hard knot of anxiety. It would be difficult enough to make it to the gate carrying a wound like that, let alone with a platoon of Jaffa on their heels.

“The enemy is moving,” Teal’c murmured as several Jaffa emerged from the trees, keeping low as they scanned the scrubby clearing. Sam ducked behind their cover, not wanting to give away their position. “Go now, O’Neill,” Teal’c said softly. “We will cover your retreat and hold this position as long as possible.”

“Counting on it,” the colonel said.

With Daniel’s arm looped over his shoulder, he headed out into the sparse woodland that ran all the way back to the Stargate. Sam winced at their slow, awkward pace. At that rate, they’d never reach the gate before the Jaffa.

A squall of rain blew into her face and she had to turn away, squeezing her eyes shut. When she looked back, Daniel and the colonel were gone, the rain at least helping to hide them from the advancing Jaffa, even if it did make the muddy ground slick and treacherous under foot. Wiping her face on her sleeve, she squirmed around and shivered as a trickle of rain slid down her neck and under her collar. “Daniel’s moving pretty slow,” she whispered, taking a bead on one of the Jaffa and switching her weapon to single shot. “Do you think they’ll make it in time?” Even through the rain, she knew she’d hit her target. But not yet, let them come out a little further from the cover of the trees.

“It is possible,” Teal’c said, “that one of us will need to precede them to the Stargate and hold it against the Jaffa.”