đŹ VINSMOKE SANJI | made with love
summary: sanji is determined to give you the perfect birthday: a day filled with your favourite things, followed by a private dinner beneath the tangerine trees. there is onle only one thing he has forgotten to include in the celebrationâthe man you love, who is still learning that his presence is worth more than anything he could ever provide
word count: 4,343
content: sanji x gn!reader, established relationship, post-whole cake island, birthday fluff, food as a love language, emotional hurt/comfort, themes of self-worth and learning to accept unconditional love, brief references to sanjiâs familial trauma
a/n: written for my darling @t1track. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NYXIE!!!! đ¤ in spite of everything, i couldn't let your birthday pass without giving you something made especially for you, so please accept four thousand words of sanji cooking you an entire feast and loving you with his whole enormous heart. you are such a warm, funny and genuinely wonderful presence in my life, and i feel incredibly lucky to know you. i hope this next year gives you even a fraction of the love and happiness you bring to the people around you and that today, at the very least, you feel every bit as cherished as i know you are đ¤đť
By the time you opened your eyes, Sanji had already turned the morning into a love letter.
Sunlight spilled through the porthole in a trembling band of gold, made restless by the sea, and somewhere beyond the walls of the Sunny a gull cried into the clean blue distance. Closer at hand were warmer things; the fragrance of coffee prepared precisely as you liked it, butter melting into bread still hot from the oven, the gentle sweetness of fruit cut into such delicate flowers that eating them seemed almost cruel. Sanji sat on the edge of the bed with the tray balanced across his knees, his shirtsleeves rolled above his forearms and his first cigarette of the day still unlit behind one ear, as though even smoke would be too coarse a thing to bring into the morning he had made for you.
âHappy birthday, my love,â he murmured, and bent to kiss the place where sleep still lingered at your temple.
His mouth travelled from there to your cheek, then the corner of your lips, offering each touch with such lingering sweetness that you suspected he had devised an entire sequence before you woke. You interrupted it by curling a hand around the back of his neck and drawing him into the kiss he had been carefully avoiding, warm mouth parting beneath yours in a quiet sound of surprise before he softened completely. Sanji always kissed as though it were something between reverence and hunger, but there was no desperation in him now, only the easy familiarity of his thumb brushing beneath your jaw and your fingers finding the soft hair at his nape.
âBreakfast is getting cold,â he warned against your mouth, although the arm slipping around your waist made no sincere attempt to release you.
âYouâre the one distracting me.â
âA vicious slander on your birthday.â His smile touched your lips before he kissed you once more, too pleased with the accusation to defend himself properly. âI have been the soul of restraint.â
âYouâve kissed me four times.â
âIt was meant to be five, but somebody got impatient.â
You allowed him the fifth on principle, followed by a sixth because Sanji had never understood restraint where affection was concerned and you had no particular desire to teach him. When he finally drew back, his eyes were softer than the morning light, the fondness in them so open that it made something behind your ribs ache pleasantly. Only then did he settle the tray across your lap and present his work with a flourish that would have suited a royal banquet rather than breakfast in bed: eggs folded into silken layers, crisp toast spread with a savoury butter fragrant with herbs, fruit arranged in jewelled crescents around a small pastry with a glazed berry flower at its centre.
âIs that a strawberry?â you asked, examining the tiny red petals.
âIt was a strawberry,â Sanji said gravely. âIt had greater ambitions.â
Your laughter rewarded him more generously than any compliment could have done. He watched you take the first bite with the attentive stillness of a man awaiting a verdict upon his soul, and although the quiet hum of pleasure you made eased the faint tension around his mouth, he disguised his relief by reaching to brush an imaginary crumb from your lower lip.
âItâs perfect,â you told him, catching his hand before he could retreat and kissing the pads of his fingers. âHow long have you been awake?â
âThatâs not a birthday question.â
âSanji.â
âItâs not important,â he corrected, which meant long enough to make the pastry, arrange the fruit and somehow clean the galley before anybody else stirred. âToday is for you. Your sole responsibility is to be adored with good grace and an excellent appetite.â
You narrowed your eyes at him over the rim of your cup. âAnd what are you going to do?â
His answering smile was dazzling, guileless and therefore deeply suspicious. âWhatever is necessary.â
That promise revealed its true scale slowly. By the time you emerged onto the deck, the rest of the crew had already been recruited into what appeared to be a highly organised campaign against the possibility of your lifting a finger. Nami intercepted you before you could so much as glance towards the rigging and informed you that your chores had been redistributed; Usopp presented you with an official birthday medal constructed from painted wood, ribbon and at least one bottle cap; Chopper had made a card whose glitter migrated immediately onto your clothes and remained there for the rest of the day. Even Zoro, sprawled in a patch of sun with his arms folded behind his head, opened one eye long enough to tell you that the cook had threatened bodily harm against anyone who allowed you to work.
âHe held a meeting,â Nami confided, amusement curving her mouth as she passed you a chilled glass already garnished with a slice of fruit. âThere was a timetable.â
âIt wasnât a timetable,â Sanji called from the galley door without needing to have heard the beginning of the conversation. âIt was a carefully constructed schedule of contingencies.â
âFor a birthday?â
âFor Luffy.â
From somewhere inside came an indignant shout, followed by the unmistakable clatter of a cupboard being opened and Sanji disappearing through the doorway with murder in his eyes. Whatever battle followed was brief. He returned a minute later with his tie slightly crooked, a dusting of flour along one cheek and an empty plate in hand, while Luffy could be heard complaining that three decoy sandwiches constituted deliberate emotional cruelty.
âYou planned decoy sandwiches?â you asked.
âA chef always anticipates disaster.â Sanji set the plate aside and slipped his clean hand around your waist, drawing you near enough to kiss your forehead. The gesture was so casual that he had begun turning back towards the kitchen before you caught him by the lapel and pressed your mouth to his flour-dusted cheek. His expression melted at once, annoyance with his captain vanishing beneath a blush he attempted to hide by straightening his tie. âDarling, if you keep doing that, lunch will be late.â
âI was under the impression the timetable accounted for distractions.â
âContingencies,â he insisted, though he kissed your knuckles before returning to the galley. âAnd you are not a distraction. Youâre the entire purpose.â
That was how Sanji moved through the dayâalways briefly at your side and always on his way to do something else for you. A favourite snack appeared when breakfast had faded into a pleasant memory, a cup was pressed into your hand before you noticed the heat, a cushion materialised behind your back while you sat listening to one of Brookâs songs. Whenever Sanji passed, affection came with him; a kiss laid against your hair, fingers brushing yours, his palm resting at the small of your back as he leaned down to ask whether you needed anything. Each touch was warm and instinctive, a language the two of you had long ago ceased needing to translate, but he never remained within reach for long. There was always another pan to check, another secret to protect, another part of the evening requiring his attention.
You found him in the galley during the late afternoon, standing amid an ordered chaos of bowls, knives and simmering pots. Golden light streamed across the counters while steam clouded the windows, catching around him until Sanji appeared to have been conjured from warmth itself. His hands moved with their familiar certainty, one steadying a bowl while the other folded something pale and glossy together with such care that the kitchen seemed to breathe according to his rhythm.
The moment he saw you, however, his body shifted to obscure the counter. âYou canât be in here.â
âI havenât seen anything.â
âYour eyes are open.â
âI came to find you, not the food.â
The answer stopped him more effectively than any command could have done. For an instant, Sanji merely looked at you while the old question crossed his faceâwhat had he done, what remained unfinished, what more could you possibly require?âbut you stepped into the fragrant heat before he could ask it and slipped your arms around his waist and the tension eased from him gradually. He rested his cheek against your hair, flour clinging to his clothes and his hands held carefully away from you so that whatever he had been preparing would not stain yours.
âYou found me,â he said at last, the words softened by a smile you could hear.
âI did.â You leaned back far enough to examine his face and wiped the flour from his cheek with your thumb, only to kiss the same place once it was clean. âAm I allowed five minutes?â
Sanji glanced towards the stove as though consulting it. âThree.â
âFour.â
âThree and a half, and I reserve the right to stir something.â
He managed almost four. You remained wrapped around him while he checked a sauce one-handed, and when the timer sounded he turned in your embrace, cupped your face and kissed you with a tenderness that made the whole warm room seem to narrow around his mouth. Even then he was the one who drew away first, apology and promise mingling in his expression as he pressed one final kiss to your brow.
âTonight,â he told you. âIâm all yours tonight.â
âYouâre all mine now.â
Something fragile and astonished flickered through his smile before he covered it with another kiss. âThen consider this a temporary loan to the kitchen.â
Evening descended softly over the Sunny. The sea darkened from blue to violet and then to something almost black, its surface holding the last light in long, coppery fractures, while the first stars appeared above the mast. Sanji came for you once the rest of the crew had settled into the comfortable sprawl that followed supper, freshly washed and dressed in a dark suit, his hair still faintly damp and his tie selected with the same consideration he had given every other detail of the day.
He offered you his hand with formal elegance, but the kiss he placed against your palm was intimate enough to undo the performance. âMay I steal you away?â
âYouâve had the crew guarding me all day. I think that legally counts as possession already.â
âProtection,â Sanji corrected as he laced his fingers through yours. âThere are dangerous men aboard this ship.â
Luffy protested through a mouthful of food. Zoro suggested that you take the cook and keep him, and the argument that began behind you followed the two of you only as far as the stairs before the night folded over it.
Sanji led you towards the stern, where lantern light gleamed among the leaves of Namiâs tangerine trees. A table had been laid beneath their boughs, dressed in white linen and warmed by small golden lamps whose flames stirred whenever the sea wind passed through. There were no extravagant bouquets, only a narrow glass holding a few sprigs of kitchen herbs and several blossoms gathered after they had fallen, their fragrance mingling with salt, citrus and the faint trace of Sanjiâs cologne. Beyond the rail, the ocean surrounded everything, vast and dark and endless, so that the little table seemed to exist in a world created for two.
Sanji watched you take it in with carefully disguised nervousness. He had faced assassins, monsters and impossible odds with less apprehension than he displayed while waiting for you to decide whether his lanterns were beautiful enough.
âSanjiâŚâ you breathed, turning back towards him.
âIf the wind is too strong, I can move everything inside. I also considered the aquarium bar, but the light at this hourââ
You silenced him with a kiss. It began as a simple press of your mouth to his, intended to quiet the worried explanation, but Sanjiâs hands found your waist and held you with such immediate tenderness that you lingered there, smiling against him when he exhaled softly through his nose.
âI love it,â you murmured. âItâs beautiful.â
His shoulders loosened beneath your hands. âNot half as beautiful as the person it was made for.â
âFinally. There he is.â
âWho?â
âThe man who has been suspiciously restrained all day.â
Sanji drew out your chair with a smile. âMy love, you have yet to witness the full force of my devotion.â
The meal made good on the threat. Its first course arrived in delicate pastry shells, crisp enough to shatter beneath your fork, filled with slow-roasted sweetness and soft cheese sharpened by an herb oil you recognised after the first taste. You had paused over the same fragrant leaves at an island market weeks ago, crushing one between your fingers and holding it beneath Sanjiâs nose while he tried to negotiate with a merchant. You had forgotten the moment before the Sunny ever left the harbour; he had not.
The clear amber broth that followed carried another memory. A cold night watch, your hands wrapped around a bowl he had brought up without being asked, and the particular spice you had praised before stealing the last dumpling from his own portion. The main course was arranged around crisp-skinned fish glazed with tangerine, bright with citrus before yielding to butter, pepper and a low sweetness that gathered all the other flavours together. Every plate was beautiful, but none had been designed merely to impress. They were built from fragments of youâa passing comment, a preference expressed once, the things you reached for first and those you saved until last. Sanji had turned his memory into a menu and laid the proof of his attention before you course by course.
âYou remembered all of this?â you asked when he set the next plate down.
âOf course.â He spoke as though there were nothing remarkable in it, adjusting the angle of the dish before pouring more wine into your glass. âYou liked the sauce, but you said the original needed something acidic. You were right.â
âThat was months ago.â
Sanji looked almost offended. âIâm hardly going to forget an observation from the most discerning palate aboard the Sunny.â
âRobin is the most discerning palate aboard the Sunny.â
âYeah, but Iâm not in love with Robin.â
He bent to kiss your cheek before removing the previous plate, avoiding your attempt to catch him by moving just beyond reach. The empty chair opposite you remained untouched. It had been laid like the rest of the table, complete with a plate, a glass and a folded napkin, but Sanji continued to orbit the meal rather than join it, serving each course and attending to every need before you could voice it.
When he reached for your glass again, you closed your hand around his wrist.
âSit with me.â
His fingers stilled around the bottle. âThereâs only one more savoury course, and then dessert. Iâll sit with you afterwards.â
âYou said that you were mine tonight.â
âI am.â Sanji smiled and turned his hand within your grasp so that his thumb could stroke the inside of your wrist. âThatâs why Iâm ensuring everything is perfect.â
âYouâve spent the entire day giving me everything I could possibly want.â Your fingers slipped down until they threaded through his, keeping him beside you when habit urged him towards the kitchen. âNow I want you.â
The words quieted him. Sanjiâs eyes widened slightly, and beneath the warm light a faint flush spread across his cheekbones, not the theatrical swoon he sometimes performed but something smaller and far more vulnerable.
âMy love,â he said softly, âyou have me.â
âThen let me have you here.â You nodded towards the waiting place opposite. âNot standing beside the table and disappearing between every course. I want you to eat with me. I want to talk to you without having to negotiate with a saucepan for your attention.â
âThat saucepan drives a hard bargain.â
âSanji.â
He looked from you to the empty chair as though he had only just understood why he had placed it there. Some hopeful part of him must have imagined sitting when he set the table for two, but wanting and permitting himself were different arts, and Sanji had always been more practised at sacrifice than receiving. He knew how to put himself between hunger and everyone he loved; hunger had rules he understood, demanding only heat, patience and a full plate. Love asked him to sit down with empty hands and trust that his place would remain.
Totto Land had left old arithmetic scratched raw beneath his skin, all those cruel calculations of blood and worth and usefulness. You had no intention of inviting them to your birthday table. Your hand was not tallying what Sanji had given or measuring him against the perfection of his meal. It simply held his.
âPlease,â you said, gentling the word with a kiss to his knuckles. âCelebrate with me.â
The resistance left him in a long breath. âItâs impossible to refuse you anything today.â
âYou say that as though I havenât been refused entry to the galley twice.â
âFor your own good.â Sanji finally lowered himself into the chair opposite you, but before he could settle into formality, you drew it around the small table until his knee rested against yours. âDarling, this completely destroys the symmetry.â
âItâs my birthday. Iâm allowed to destroy things.â
âIâll be sure to inform Luffy that youâve adopted his philosophy.â
You served a portion onto Sanjiâs plate before he could stop you. The mild horror on his face made you laugh, and when he protested that the presentation had been designed for one direction, you lifted a forkful towards his mouth.
âOpen.â
âYou cannot serve the chef his own food.â
âI believe you just said you couldnât refuse me.â
Sanji regarded you with the pained dignity of a man defeated by his own romantic declarations, but he accepted the bite. His eyes remained on yours as he tasted it, amusement easing into something tender when you asked, with exaggerated seriousness, whether it met his standards.
âItâs excellent,â he decided. âWhoever prepared this is clearly a genius.â
âAnd very handsome.â
âBeautiful, generous and blessed with flawless judgement. I knew there was a reason I adored you.â
The meal changed once he became part of it. Perfection loosened into pleasure, your carefully folded napkins shifted askew, the food was passed between you, and Sanji stopped watching for what might be missing long enough to enjoy what was already there. His hand frequently found yours upon the table, fingertips tracing idle circles over your knuckles while he told you about the afternoonâs disasters. Apparently Luffy discovered the second set of decoy sandwiches, Usopp nearly set fire to a ribbon, Zoro had been entrusted with one simple task and performed it in the most obstructive way possible. You laughed until your face hurt, and Sanjiâs own laughter warmed the spaces between the lanterns, lighter than any sound he had made while serving you.
There were moments when that old disbelief returned, quiet enough that someone less familiar with him might have missed it. It surfaced when you placed the best piece of fish onto his plate, when you refilled his glass before your own, when your thumb brushed a crumb from his mouth with the same instinctive care he had shown you all day. Each time, you answered without making a lesson of it. You squeezed his hand, you leaned into the arm he draped around your chair, you kissed his cheek while he was still smiling and let him discover, again and again, that affection did not vanish when he had nothing left to serve.
Dessert arrived beneath a silver cover, which Sanji lifted with enough ceremony to reveal a small cake finished with smooth icing and delicate decoration. Its flavour had been chosen with the same intimate certainty as the rest of the meal, but at its centre stood only one slender candle, the flame leaning towards you in the breeze.
âOne candle?â you asked. âHave I somehow become younger?â
âOne is enough to carry a wish.â Sanji shielded the flame with his hand as it trembled, his fingers glowing red and gold around it. âTo mark every year the world has been fortunate enough to contain you, I would need a much bigger table, and Nami would charge me for the additional deck space.â
âDid she charge you for this deck space?â
âThe finances behind an evening of romance should remain mysterious.â
You laughed, but the wish came to you before you closed your eyes. It was not for the day to last forever; Sanji had already taught you too well that sweetness mattered because it could be consumed, leaving warmth and memory where hunger had been. You wished instead for more mornings, more meals allowed to go cold beneath unnecessary kisses, more evenings in which he sat beside you rather than hovering at the edge of his own happiness. You wished for enough ordinary days that Sanji might one day stop being surprised to find himself at the centre of the things you cherished.
The flame disappeared beneath your breath. Sanji applauded softly and leaned over to kiss your forehead, lingering there as the faint ribbon of smoke curled between you.
âWhat did you wish for?â he asked.
âYou know I canât tell you.â
âSurely the chef responsible for the cake is entitled to privileged information.â
âNo. But Iâll give you some.â
Sanji divided the first slice between you, though sharing from one plate soon became easier than pretending you wanted separate portions. A smear of icing found its way to the corner of his mouth; when you collected it with your thumb, he caught your hand and kissed the sweetness from your skin, transforming mischief into courtship with the effortless grace he brought to everything. You kissed him again simply because you could, quick and fond, and his smile followed you when you drew away.
âWhat information?â he reminded you.
âIâll answer a different question.â
Sanji considered this while settling more comfortably beside you, one arm stretched behind your chair. âAlright. What was your favourite part?â
He glanced towards the cake as he asked it, clearly expecting you to choose between dessert and dinner, perhaps already rehearsing some objection to your answer based upon technical execution. You rested your hand against his chest, feeling the calm beat of his heart beneath your palm.
âYou.â
For once, Sanji had no immediate reply. His eyes searched yours as though the word concealed some trick of phrasing he had not yet unravelled.
âMy love, Iâm not one of the courses.â
âI know. You were my favourite part of my day.â
âBut the breakfastââ
âWas wonderful.â You slid your hand from his chest to the nape of his neck, keeping him close when embarrassment encouraged him to look away. âThe meal was perfect. The lanterns are beautiful, the cake is my favourite, and I loved everything the crew did. But every part of today that mattered had you in it. You smiled at me first thing this morning. You kissed me every time you saw me. You had flour on your face when I came looking for you, and you sat down when I asked because I wanted to share this with you, not just receive it from you.â
Sanjiâs mouth softened, though uncertainty still lingered at its edges. âI wanted to give you a perfect day.â
âYou did.â Your fingers moved gently through the hair at his nape. âNot because everything was perfect. Because you were here.â
âI would have been here regardless.â
âI know. Thatâs why youâre my favourite.â
The lantern flames moved in the breeze, scattering gold across his face. Sanji had been called many things in his life, some spoken with love and others intended to carve kindness out of him, but favourite seemed to reach a place less guarded than praise. It asked for none of the names he had inherited or rejected. It required no proof of strength, no usefulness, no beautiful plate presented at the proper temperature. It meant only Sanji, the cook, the dreamer, the infuriatingly selfless man with smoke in his clothes and gentleness in his hands, wanted in his entirety.
He lifted one of those hands to your face. All day, his kisses had been little gifts scattered through the hoursâa touch against your temple, your cheek, your knuckles, each one sweet and fleeting because another task waited for him. This time there was nowhere else he intended to be, so his thumb swept beneath your jaw as he drew you closer, pausing with his breath warm across your lips.
âMay I kiss my favourite person properly?â he asked.
âPlease.â
Sanjiâs mouth met yours with exquisite tenderness. The first touch was slow, almost unbearably soft, before your arms circled his neck and the kiss deepened into something warmer, fuller, carrying the faint sweetness of cake and citrus between you. His hand remained cradled against your cheek while the other settled at your waist, holding you close without haste or demand, and when you kissed him again he answered with a quiet sound that seemed to gather every word he could not fit into the space between your mouths.
The sea rolled darkly beyond the shipâs rail. Somewhere above, the sails shifted, carrying the Sunny onwards beneath a sky crowded with stars, but Sanji no longer looked towards the table for something else to offer. He rested his forehead against yours when the kiss finally softened, eyes closed and smile unguarded as you held him in the warmth he had spent the entire day creating.
âHappy birthday, my love,â he whispered once more.
âYouâve said that already.â
âI intend to keep saying it until midnight.â
You kissed the curve of his smile. âThen stay here. I donât want to miss any of them.â
Sanjiâs arms tightened around you, and for once he allowed himself to be held without reaching for anything else to give. âThere is nowhere else in the world I would rather be.â
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