Christian

fall is coming with a pumpkin in the mouth

Oh baby girl. We both know what you want in your hands. You’ve seen it and heard me moan your name as I stroke it and cum for you.

men will really be like i don’t give a shit about you but i’m never leaving you alone

a perfect allegory for the contradictory nature of our inner worlds, always conflicted, born and taught to be soulless, to feel nothing, but we still feel it all, deeply

Girl whatever

Eminem isn’t violent, Slim Shady is. Get it right.

im robbing a bank tomorrow and when the cops come for me imma tell them it was my alter ego countess boochie flagrante

Happy 10 years to Countess Boochi Flagrante

Still not what I want

Omg not the random aave 💔

hey, im not being condescending! i said i love it, it adds character

sorry i was trying to fight with you on purpose i just wanted to argue with someone this morning. but you’ve shown me love and kindness and i can’t balk or scoff in the face of that

I've always thought Margarita would be a beautiful name for a little girl

And her beautiful sister Cosmopolitan

Rum & The Eyeless One

shower gel label:  immerse your self in this new   “Me Time” luxury   fruity tooty.    abandon all sense of identity and dissolve  Your memories into this   soothing chemical broth    One billion melons are in this tube… use them wisely

why r some american tumblr users like the us education system didnt teach me that i have five toes on each foot so i didn’t learn it until my twenties 😞

🤤

what?

Just thinking about all those toes you mentioned

theyve discovered a planet where you can have a disappointing jerk off session and doom scroll on your phone until you get a headache every day. And theyre calling it. earth <3

Someday I would love to explore the exotic beauty of the far away land of Massachusetts

Imagine getting to sit inside a real AUTHENTIC Dunkin Donuts. Not the sanitized version but how REAL Massachutssans do. Just like on tv shows.

I hateee when stories "end" without actually tying anything up like give me a conclusion now

you would hate the endless thread of history as it moves ever forward 😂😭

What a stupid response

okay

topping is actually gayer than bottoming because like the top is the one who's deciding again and again to put his dick in another man. The other guy could just be chilling. For all we know

Dream blunt rotation