when am i gonna stop hating myself so much?

seeing my old posts makes me so sad for younger me, she didnt deserve any of the things that had happened to her. i deserved so much better what the fuck

on the day we got together my bf literally travelled for hours for me, and now i keep asking him to meet up with me at my workplace when i spend the night at his house so we can go on the 2 hours long train ride together, and we can spend more time together bc i go to work at 5am the next day, and he keeps saying he doesnt wanna come bc of the heat. i know that he cant stand the hot weather, but like i dont think im asking for much, i just wanna spend more time with him.

ive been with my boyfriend for more than four months now, and i find it so hard to express myself to him with words irl and even while texting, would it be weird to write a letter? or is it too soon to do things like this? he lives a bit far away and we are not able to meet too often bc of work, so like its hard to show affection any other way. also this is my first healthy relationship and i have no idea what im doing but i love this man so so so much and i want him to know this

yall

a couple days ago, the term "best an0rexic" just came into my mind bc i did not eat all day and i was giggling so hard in my head, all this inactivity and im still infected with ed tumblr

the only thing i miss about addiction is my body, i used to be so skinny

i ordered two pants and one of them doesn't go past my ass. i think this is was the thing that triggered me back into this shit. what the fuck girl

cant remember the last time i felt loved

i just wanna say that im alive, been clean for 10 months AND having toughts of falling back into restricting cause ive gained weight. thats it goodnight

damn

having this job makes me so tired and makes it harder to hang out with my friend but it also made it possible to go to a 5sos concert and be really close to the stage, after listening them for like 7 years?? so id say its very much worth it

ive had my vape for a month now and its so burnt its literally disgusting but i wont accept that its dead cause i cant afford a new one rn im waiting for my paycheck bruhhhhhhh