Delerium - Flowers Become Screens
Maybe you had this experience. Maybe not. But that time of wonderment, between the ages of ones early teens. 13 to 15. Give or take, that time when you look at life as this thing that is going to be amazing. Even when you know it’s not going to be.Â
For me, it was a girl. Who I met through my neighbor. They were in a dance class together. While my neighbor just did it, for something to do. The girl she introduced me to, dancing was what she was.Â
Her mother was from France. Not that it matters, but what mattered was that her mom, was old world wealthy. Her father, American, originally I believe, held a position in a local embedded institution, of high power. Her parents, were grooming her. Not for here, not for one of the larger cities people flock to, with hopes and dreams that get shattered, trying to make it. No. Her fate was decreed to be back in the old world. To perform on stage for nobility, aristocracy, the opulently wealthy, famous and high royalty.Â
But it didn’t matter! Nothing really does! Though, in that moment, when you’re a kid, and you meet another kid, and you know, right then and there, that between you, for as fleeting as it may be, there is something pulling you together and you become close, in so short of time, all the restrictions of life, that will come hitting you like a vengeful tsunami in a few short years, in the meantime, then and there, you got a friend, and that’s all that matters!Â
You spend every weeknight talking on the phone for hours. About everything! You get sucked into the lives of people you don’t know, but she want to talk about it, so, you listen and imagine. You hear her hopes and dreams, which are not her parents, and you encourage her to go get them someday. Because someday, you know, she’ll be able to make her own choices, that’s all you want! Her to be happy! Her to soar and scream and live life on her terms! It becomes so important to you because you know, she at least has a chance! You though, nope!Â
You don’t come from old world money, you don’t have a dad who makes decisions which directly effect lives. Lives that have families and loans and debt and addictions and problems she’ll never know. You don’t want her to know them! Because it doesn’t matter! What matters is, you got a voice and you use it for a positive way to help. You have an ear, to listen and offer what thoughts and advice you can, because that’s it, and while you wish it could be more, you know, it can’t.Â
No, not for you. While it’s nice to chat and share you’re feelings and hopes, you know, deep down, that nothing will ever come of it all. And surprisingly, you are ok with it! Sure, you’ve met up and gone out and did things together. Had walks, went and got juice, watched a movie together, but she’s restricted, controlled and is apart of an agenda where in the future, you are of no thought or would ever be apart of.Â
You, you’re on a different path. A path that cleans up after her and her family. A path that has limited options, none of which are to grand or something anybody would really take notice of. Nope, you are looking at slim pickings. Go the straight and narrow, maybe end up in the military. Regular forces of course. Or a trade. Both are fine and noble, respectable, but that’s really the pinnacle for you though. Beats jail! That’s another option. Beats knocking up some other kid, or really, really getting into heavy drugs! Slim pickings really! But like I said, it doesn’t matter!Â
See fate is a funny thing! It can put two people together, who shouldn’t be. Like me and her. At the right time and place though, it can work! That universal force, as powerful as it is, can be changed! All the classes, divisions, barriers, etc, may be a bit harder for you to climb. Till you realize you don’t need to! Walls have other ways to get over and around!Â
It’s not easy! But it is what it is and once you get passed the facts that it’s set up against you and yours, you see the karmic patterns and don't fall into the traps! Tenacity, audacity with a bit of mercilessness mixed with kindness, helps you soar! And maybe, just maybe, that special girl, you once spent hours talking to, listening to and being someone who saw her as a somebody, even though, she already was, in so many ways! That you then would never dream to be, will reflect and look back and smile, smile as you are now, thinking and knowing, it’s all right!Â
It’s all right because at 13, at 14, at 15, you knew nothing mattered! Nothing mattered then, but you and her. All the rest that came after, was just life. For a time though, you had each other, and that was all that mattered. Sleep well, mon petit! And have a good night.Â
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