𝓐𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒅 𝓒𝒉𝒐𝒊

written for astrid choi (@hd-astrid) ♡

the atmosphere is super heavy at the photoshoot (mainly the stylists) and chaeyeon is sitting under the heat of the vanity lights, trying not to move a muscle. her spine is pressed so flat against this chair that she's basically become part of the furniture. she's been practicing her "smize" in the mirror for twenty minutes, trying to find that perfect line between supermodel and statue.

every time she catches her reflection, she doesn't even recognize herself. the makeup is so precise and doll-like it's like her face was truly painted on. she guesses she's going to stay in this exact position until they call "action." it's actually chilling how quiet the entire set is; everyone is just superfocused on how they look. astrid is next to her but chaeyeon being afraid to talk out loud, pulls out her phone and sends her a text message.

"okay, we're gonna take a break!" the director says as he starts walking off. and it's now that she brings out her phone. she had felt it go off a little bit ago, luckily the vibration didn't alert anyone, but she had forgotten to actually check it. she chuckles softly when she sees that the messages are from the very woman sitting down in the chair next to her. she thinks for a moment of answering chaeyeon through text, but instead decides to just answer her instead. "I can feel you vibrating!" she says with a small chuckle slipping past her overly reddened lips. "but I'm in pretty much the same boat. I had an espresso and an energy drink before we got here. but we do look expensive don't we?!" her last statement comes out more excited than she had meant to be.

it  seemed  like  a  reasonable  enough  suggestion  from  astrid:  watch  a  classic  american  sitcom  together  so  that  haru  could  familiarise  himself  with  casual  english  used  in  daily  conversations  over  in  the  west.  however,  he  supposed  that  there  was  only  so  much  comedy  alone  could  do  to  keep  viewer's  entertained,  and  it  seemed  that  many  loved  a  good  sprinkling  of  drama  every  now  and  then.  so  here  they  both  were,  watching  a  fictional  depiction  of  a  situation  far  from  fictional  and  far  from  being  considered  removed  from  reality.

haru  could  not  say  he  had  ever  been  in  the  male  character's  exact  situation,  but  boy  has  he  received  similar  levels  of  heat  in  past  relationships.  and  so,  fuelled  by  his  own  biased  experiences,  his  lips  pursed  in  budding  annoyance  briefly  before  he  mumbled  under  his  breath.

"...why  is  she  so  angry…?"

in  the  previous  episode,  the  female  character  had  asked  if  they  could  go  on  a  break,  and  so  any  sane  adult  would  therefore  assume  they  were  on  a  break  thenceforth.  she  had  explicitly  said  those  exact  words  without  any  room  for  interpretation,  and  this  was  in  no  way  as  'subjective'—although  haru  would  still  argue  that  it  would  barely  hold  any  room  in  court—as  the  time  he  merely  mentioned  that  sometimes  he  thought  it  would  have  been  better  to  remain  as  friends  with  one  of  his  now  exes.

it  was  an  entirely  different  situation,  one  was  clear  as  day  and  the  other  was  milked  for  any  and  every  loophole  humanely  thought  possible.  yet  the  writers  aimed  to  depict  this  fictional  scenario  as  though  rachel's  words  were  not  definitive,  while  haru  received  a  sharp  slap  to  his  cheek  and  was  immediately  dumped  on  the  spot  for  the  other  party's  subjective  interpretation.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ because somehow, in the years since this particular episode has aired, she has been alone in her opinion. everyone that she had met had been on Rachel's side. had agreed that Ross was far too quick in sleeping with someone else. that of course Rachel didn't really mean it when she said she wanted a break from the relationship. but if she didn't mean it, why would she be the one to suggest it in the first place? something that Astrid has truly never understood.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I know! I've never understood either!"

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀leave it to her brainy friend to be the first to see her side of things. especially since haru seems to see the world as one big scientific fact. what is said must be meant and then proven. "she said she wanted a break, and then when ross agrees and goes to see someone else? how is that possibly cheating? a break is another word for a breakup right?" she has grown up speaking 3 different languages fluently, one of which is English, so she's pretty sure that she's not missing any subtle variation of words in English. if anything, the male would have been the one to look for a slight nuance in the words.

"cheering me on?" zoe's lips quirks, she drops her gaze back to the mirror, smoothing her hair like she's on camera. "sweet. but really unnecessary. i mean, i don't need fans." the way she says it, casual and matter-of-fact, makes it sound less like arrogance and more like reality. it's not bragging if it's true. still, she throws astrid a look through the glass, "but i'll allow it. ten out of ten for spirit?"

she steps back from her mark, tugging at her shirt like it's couture instead of sweat-damp cotton, the choreography still vibrating in her veins. it's obvious she loves the feeling of being watched, thrives on it, even. "don't think i didn't see you standing there, by the way. all starstruck." the tease is gentle enough to pass as playful, but sharp enough to remind astrid of the difference between her level and zoe's. and to walk accordingly

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"you don't?" its a statement that confuses astrid a bit. because why would you want to be an idol if not for being able to make a difference in people's lives as well? to get through to so many people and make them happier just by being your best. and the way she says it only adds another layer that makes it more complex and confusing all at the same time. but in all honesty she's too afraid to ask about it. fearing an eyeroll and a snippy reply. so she moves on from it just as quickly. "I'll take it! I've always been told my spirit is the best thing about me anyways."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ she lets out a soft chuckle when zoe says she had seen her. she hopes that it comes off very cool, instead of telling on her. that she was in fact watching in awe and amazement. maybe even admiring the fact that the other was leagues ahead of her at a younger age. "listen, I was *not* starstruck. I was just spacing out." she knows that her tone will only giver her away, no matter how badly she wants to sounds cold and calculated too. luckily enough for astrid, she doesn't even pick up on the fact that the other is lowkey insulting her.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ she bounces on her tiptoes, clapping her hands together, when the younger says that she'll actually help her. she knows exactly how much this means. how she *did* in fact get very lucky. and she's not going to take that for granted at all. "ahhh! thank you, thank you, thank you zoe!" she places her hands in front of her, bowing down like she's bowing to a queen rather than a fellow trainee. "I owe you my life." not that she'd want it.

FT. @hd-astrid ♥︎

the bass line cuts zoe deep. her body's still humming when she snaps out of the last eight-count, momentum carrying her half a step before she steadies, checking the mirror like it owes her confirmation. clean. sharp. of course it is. she rakes her fingers through damp hair, tugging her tee back into place, already picturing what the cameras will catch once s real stage comes into play. nothing is confirmed but in her head, the angles are framed, the lights are blinding, and the charts are hers. sweat beads at her temples, pulse synced to the echo of the beat still buzzing in her chest, daring her to run it back.

zoe drifts toward the speaker dock, thumb grazing her phone, when her roommate shifts in the reflection. not the lights overhead or her own silhouette, but movement at the doorway. she doesn't speak right away (silence is leverage, and she likes to make people earn her attention) but her gaze sways toward the door, curiosity softening her pretty features.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ she arrives at the massive company building just in time. she's has to get better at being on time. because she's pretty sure that one of the teachers told her"you're on time only if you're early." it's not that she doesn't care, this is just a huge adjustment for her. a lot of the people she was training with had wanted to do this their whole lives. everything they'd done had led to this very moment. and astrid? well she had done this on a whim. and it actually felt right. like this was what she was supposed to do this whole time. so she knows that she needs to kick it in to gear and get even more serious.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀somehow she manages to find zoe in the first practice room that she checks. she thinks about just bursting in. but something inside of her stops her. she stops to admire every move that the other woman makes. she seems so in to it. seems to have rhythm and musical knowhow and everything. she crosses her arms as she stands there with her mouth hanging open. is she ever going to be at that level? they had started at the same time but the other trainee seemed leagues ahead of her. but she knows who she is. she can do this. she just has to give it her all.