kind of blue

@hazelrollins​

The whole teenage feeling wasn’t gonna go away. No matter what Mads liked to tease him about, Chandler didn’t realize his age by looking in a mirror. It was the spot on his left hand where a ring sat for four years, the photos of his wife hung up around the house. Growing older hadn’t happened in his mind, it happened when he watched Reese start to walk and Rafe start school and Maddy graduate from law school. 

But if he only remembered he was thirty-three when he was around his kids, or at work, then when he wasn’t around his kids or at work, and he was just around Hazel Rollins, it made sense he felt seventeen. 

Fitting, then, that her father had taken him aside during the Fall Festival and forced him on a nice long walk. What are your intentions with my daughter, Mr. Rollins had asked, and he’d picked a time when Rafe and Reese weren’t even around to be his protection. Chandler had been so intimated he’d called the man ‘Mr. Rollins, sir’ every single time he’d had to respond. 

What were his intentions? Was he supposed to have any beyond the very real want to spend more time with her? Spend time just the two of them, figure out every single thing that could make her laugh and try and achieve them all himself? 

‘I’d like to spend time with your daughter, sir,’ Chandler had said, ‘if she’d like to do the same.’ 

Which brought him here, to Mr. Rollins front porch, where Mr. Rollins’ daughter, for whom Chandler had intentions also lived. The moon shined brightly as it hung in the sky. His kids had decided they wanted to insist on a sleepover with their cousins, and they were only going to be able to do that for a handful of years before life started to get in their way. He’d had no choice but to say yes. He’d also wanted to. Made it easy for him to go grab a six pack of what was essentially alcoholic apple juice, a gingham blanket, and some pulled pork sandwiches. 

When the door opened, Hazel behind it instead of her father (proving God did exist, even if Chandler didn’t go to church every Sunday), 

“Wanna sneak out?” He grinned, holding up the Angry Orchard in one hand and the large paper bag with the blanket and sandwiches. “I figured you might wanna join me for a nighttime picnic.” 

It was only after the fact that she’d found out her dad had taken Chandler around the farm of all things. This had set her nerves into motion in the worst of ways and had left Hazel bombarding her mother with questions she was sure she didn’t know how to answer.

 It didn’t stop her though. Why on Earth would dad do that? We haven’t even been on one date! And so on and so on. By the point where her face was turning red and she was truly starting to panic, her mother had grabbed her by the shoulders and had in simple words, asked her to calm the hell down. It wasn’t like she could stop him, after all. 

But it had sent her on questions of her own, how had her dad even known? And she had to wonder about Lyla’s meddling and how far it had gone, suddenly she found reason to blame everything on her and there was the sudden desire to exact revenge for what she’d done, not that she was actually certain she’d done anything at all. 

Still, despite all of this, the idea that her dad had probably taken Chandler on the intimidation tour of the farm which started and ended with Tiny’s bullpen, and the thought that out there was that mint julep drinking wench spreading rumors about her, she’d still agreed to go out with him on a real date, though she hadn’t known what to expect when he’d told her to dress comfortably. As if there was another choice. 

Of course, she was the one to answer the door and she might have bolted right out of it had she not already known that her parents were already asleep. Farm life had made them early risers. And god help the stupid smile on her face when he was standing on the other side of the threshold, she had to ignore the fact that she had butterflies in her stomach again like she was sixteen and getting ready to go on her first date with Toby Jameson. 

“Now Dr. Heine I think you might be tryin’ to get me drunk,,” she closed the door behind her and managed a smile, one that seemed to be only reserved for him, hesitant but excited all at once. “I happen to know a perfect spot for a nighttime picnic,” she told him and automatically linked her arm with his as if it had been something she’d done countless times. “What kinda sandwiches did you bring?”

“Elle Woods would definitely have worn sparkly pink Uggs to a study session though –don’t argue with me. We both know I’m right,” Annie laughed. “You Rollins’ got the tall gene, take advantage of it. Boot cut is trendy right now.” The brunette nodded, still slightly giggling. “I’m pretty sure I wore ‘em in front of you this summer. Either way, let’s bring ‘em back.”

“Well yeah, Harvard Elle Woods totally would, but not Red, White and Blonde Elle Woods, she’d wear a nice cognac with a nice pink cashmere, or maybe a scarf. Actually-- don’t listen to anything m’sayin’ because I still think it’s okay to wear flannel and plaid year round and you’ll pry my skinny jeans out of my cold, dead hands. Plus of course, I still wear jelly shoes.” She added with a laugh. “You think your kids would like ‘em? That’s where it starts? The youth of today, they’re the trendsetters.”

“I still have a boatload of candy from lack of trick or treaters, which I know doesn’t sound like a real problem but it’s like temptation is sitting in my cupboard,” Davis said with a giggle. @frostfordstart​

“Definitely not a problem to have-- I mean you could just start tossin’ it out at people while you drive--” Hazel shrugged. “You got any kit kats?”

“I was tryin’ to connect with my inner Elle Woods,” Annie laughed. “I could never wear boot cut jeans. I’m too short. They don’t make those trend flare-y boot cut jeans for people under 5′4.” Not unless she wanted to go to Buttons and Bows to have them hemmed for an extra fee. “Doesn’t ring a bell. I think I can picture her, but I don’t pay enough attention to who they’re idolizin’. –I loved jelly shoes. They kinda come ‘round every summer.”

“Elle Woods would want you to use pink wisely,” Hazel stretched out her legs in front of her, comparing them with Annie’s for a moment. “I’ve got about half a foot on ya and I still wouldn’t be caught dead in bootcut jeans,” she told her with a laugh. “Are you tellin’ me you’ve still got jelly shoes and you haven’t told me? We’re bringin’ em back. Year round.” 

“I mean, I’m pretty badass now. I’m just glad this town is small enough that I still get to keep my job. Not a whole lotta pharmacists in the area barkin’ up Dixie for a job.” Leo wasn’t ashamed of what they did or that they got arrested, even if only for a night. Charges were dropped and Leona was back at Dixie two days later. Going out for a drink with a friend was the perfect way to celebrate new found freedom. @frostfordstart​

“Who says you can’t be both?” Nick hunches into himself, brows and lips pushed crabby, but he cants his head to follow her pointing and his body follows to face it. He accepts her advice sourly.  “I’ll take your word for it, Colonel Custard.” Taking advantage of her forward lean, he lightly flicks his finger against the ball of her nose, points to the dessert in question as he intones enviously, “I’ll bet victory’s tasting real sweet right now.”

“Well-- biology for starts,” As if she wasn’t being obnoxious enough-- again a trait she seemed to gain from her siblings and her siblings only, she was usually extremely nice but he’d seemed to have goaded a fight out of her. “That’s Lieutenant Colonel Custard to you--” she told him with a satisfied grin. “This ain’t Little Bighorn though, this is ice cream,” And his question only made her even more smug than before. “It’s delicious, how’s defeat taste?”

So maybe she didn’t work everywhere, and even though she had a smile on her face as she corrected him, Chandler still started to second guess himself. Had it come off the wrong way? Had he seemed creepy, or dismissive? No, no. He’d just been trying to say she worked hard and she was likable, that she could fit in anywhere. 

Who wouldn’t want to see that smile every single day? 

Oh boy, too much, he couldn’t say that, not in front of a very large-eared Rafael, practically Dumbo the elephant. Also since they’d gone on 0 dates and had one very passionate makeout in an alleyway. 

He was thirty-three years old and he forgot that fact every single time he was near her. Chandler had winked at her in public for God’s sake. Luckily, he didn’t have to think much about what to say because his children, the angels that they were, took care of that for him. “I can be a pirate,” Rafe said easily. “Rawrrr Arrghh. Same noise.” 

Not quite, Chandler thought. But his son was six. 

“I wanna eyepath, too,” Reese said, naturally, lighting up at the thought of copying her brother. Unicorn idea from 10 minutes long forgotten, Reese put one hand up in front of one of her eyes, the other on Rafe’s. He swatted her away. 

“We can’t be the same thing, you’re a baby, I’m not a baby.”

“I’m not baby!”

Chandler kneeled down to their level, and Hazel’s, catching her eye as he tried to bite back a laugh. They were full-time entertainment, these two. “Rafe, if you let Reese be a pirate princess, we’ll go to the zoo, and we can even ask Ms. Rollins to come so she can show you her favorite lions. How’s that sound?” He looked to her and raised an eyebrow, arm around his daughter’s waist. “Would you like to introduce your lion friends to Rafael over here, Ms. Rollins?”

It was quickly becoming apparent to her that Chandler Heine was trouble. Trouble in the sense of the word that she could see herself wanting, needing, to spend all this time with him. Even after everything that had gone down, with Lyla fucking Donahue acting scandalized to see two adult people kissing and surely telling the whole town, she felt herself drawn to him. It was dangerous.

Not that she wasn't a relationship sort of person but she'd certainly hadn't had a lot of success in that department, almost engaged, a rebound that could have cost her a great friend, it made her nervous, because while she wanted to spend more time kissing him, more time with the way his palms had connected with her waist, more time with him telling her everything and anything there was to know about him, she feared that if she allowed herself as such she'd end up pushing him away altogether.

And that would have been the worst thing of all.

 How cliche.

Already she was making a mental pros and cons list, did she ask him to see her again? Would he want to see her again after being the subject of small town gossip? Would it be better that they just stayed friends? It was almost maddening. She wondered if he shared any similar thoughts. More than likely not. If Chandler was interested in her she didn't peg him for the sort to waver. He'd been married for God's sake, the opposite of what she'd been.

Hazel had to mentally tell herself to snap out of it, to stop eyeing him with such curiosity, she was sure her gaze had flickered to his lips a time too many in the last few moments and she had to remind herself his kids were there. His kids. Better to focus on them. "Oh, well--" she managed to move her attention quickly. "Who's to say you can't be a princess with an eyepatch?" She suggested. "And you--" she pointed at Rafe, "Maybe you get a parrot on your shoulder instead?"

With a small bit of hesitation she allowed her gaze to meet Chandler's again, a question on her face, was she doing okay? This wasn't her first time dealing with kids of course, but none of her siblings had any, she had to wonder how she'd been doing. There was no opportunity to question that as suddenly she'd been invited to the zoo and for a moment she didn't respond, racking her brain to wonder-- was this a date? Surely not. "I would love to introduce you to all my lion friends. And then the elephants and the giraffes. Have you ever fed a giraffe before?"

hazelrollins‌:

“It was the last batch, lady, the last batch.” He smooshes his face into his hands, groans into his palms, “I was waiting all week to buy one.”

“Annie, of course. I mean when we were younger I’d swear we were gonna be sisters and I might have been a little too invested in her and my brother’s love life for that reason only. And Dick– he’s just one of the best people I know, I could never get tired of him.”

“I don’t know that I’ll ever love anything more than walking dogs. Even if I get a little overwhelmed from time to time. Worst? I worked at the Swinery for a few weeks. I like to think of myself as pretty open minded you know? But I smelled like deli meat every day, it would take two rounds of shampoo to get rid of the smell. Awful. My shampoo is expensive.”

“Is it weird that I never really thought about this? I guess Megara would be it. She was really different from all the other princesses, super sarcastic and cynical, and I don’t think she was afraid of Hades. Plus her hair was everything I wanted when I was younger– so…maybe I thought about it a little bit.”

“M’so confused. Am I payin’ Chandler? Am I payin’ someone else for Chandler? Is this legal? Are there taxes involved?”

“I still can’t get them to admit it was them but they totally tried to make the house seem haunted once. I’d snuck down to watch The Exorcism of Emily Rose with them once, ‘cept– I was hidin’ on the staircase because technically I wasn’t supposed to be watchin’ it. I know why. I had nightmares the whole night, woke up cryin’ and then tried to sneak into bed with my parents but their room was locked so I woke up Colt and Carson and asked them to watch old episodes of Spongebob with me until I felt better. Which was like four in the mornin’ and they had to go to school the next day. Two days later I was in the livin’ room watchin’ TV and there’s all sorts of spooky noises and someone’s sayin’ my name but they’re sayin’ it backwards, doors are slammin’ lights are comin’ on and off. I was terrified. I was cryin’ and screamin’ and my parents weren’t in town, and then everything stopped but it was too damn late. I couldn’t sleep again but they pretended to be passed out asleep. I didn’t realize it was a prank until a few years later and I called them out on it over Thanksgivin’ dinner and they denied it to high heaven. M’still workin’ on the perfect revenge.”

“No. I don’t mean it to sound harsh, Cooper was– he was wonderful, y’know? Funny and charmin’ and my family liked him. And I liked him, too. But I didn’t– I didn’t love him. I didn’t see myself walkin’ down the aisle with him the way he did with me. What I did to Cooper, it was terrible, and I do regret makin’ him feel the way he did, but I don’t regret lettin’ him go. It would have never been fair to keep him for myself as some sorta security blanket when I could never give myself wholly to him. I know I hurt Cooper but I think if I hadn’t, that would have been the really shitty thing to do.”