“There is the saying “opposites attract,” which is true enough in the short term, and then there is the other theory that “like attracts like,” which is also true and probably healthier, if we’re going to be honest. However, what each of these theories leave out is the concept of shared traits with complementary differences, and the power of shared experiences: the attraction, one might say, to those who are “like me, but different,” and not just different but different in all of the right ways. One could say this is the case with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Coming from unhappy circumstances, due to Black’s family and Lupin’s disease, they each arrived at Hogwarts and there, found their true family in a small group of friends. Troublemakers both, they also share a certain disrespect for authority, preferring to act on their own terms, or the terms of the group. Additionally, they each form deep bonds with their own which sometimes transcends reason: Remus is one of three people Sirius actually listens to, and for Remus, thirteen years melts in a single look of understanding. Both autonomous and self-sufficient, this is a relationship between equals, either of whom could function well alone (under normal circumstances, which Sirius unfortunately is denied for the last year of his life.) It is also a relationship of different people who find something to love in one another. Remus may disapprove of Sirius’s actions at times, but as he has always been concerned with rejection and restrained more from necessity than choice, it is easy to see why he would admire Sirius as well: not for his choices, but for his boldness in choosing. Not for his arrogance, but for the confidence it stems from, and not for his impulsiveness, but for his freedom of action. Furthermore, Sirius himself is a charismatic figure, and because he is so judgemental, his rejections so extreme, the acceptance he shows becomes all the more precious. To be loved by Sirius is like having the sun shine on you alone, while the world is plagued by torrential rain. To Sirius, Remus begins as a curiosity, a place of subtle greys where he is used to black and white, a quiet contradiction in the form of a prefect who causes trouble, a bookish werewolf. It is through exploration of Remus, that strange grey-toned mind and all the secrets it holds, that he finds beauty in the shades between. Remus’s serenity brings calm to Sirius as well, and in the endless strength it takes for Remus to simply get up and face each day in a world that not only does not accept him but actively rejects him, Sirius finds something to admire as well. And, it is a relationship of different forces, bringing out in one another traits that they would lack, apart. For Remus, Sirius’s unconditional loyalty is a godsend. Without fear of losing Sirius, Remus is freed to become a more self-confident and assertive person. Indeed, one can easily imagine Sirius would try and encourage this, drawing Remus out, pulling open the windows of his fortress to let in some air. For Sirius, Remus serves as the restraining force he lacks within himself: when Sirius is taken away by impulse or emotion and about to behave in a foolish manner, it is Remus who comes forward to calm him down, acting as his conscience when he goes too far. This effect is enabled in turn by the empowering influence of Sirius, who acts as Remus’ window to the world, and keeps him from becoming hermetic and stifled into eternal silence by his own self-control and detachment. Without this, Remus lacks the assertiveness to act as anyone’s check point.”
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