Broken Hearts And Emptied Souls

“Why did you treat me like you loved me, when you didn’t love me at all. Why did you fill me up with love, just to rip it all away in an instant?”

“Knowing your worth isn’t always plain sailing. Knowing your worth is really fucking difficult sometimes. It’s saying no to something your heart really wants, over and over again, to the point that your insides ache because you know you deserve more.”

“And so, you’ll look for me in every person you’re with, and you’ll be disappointed because I shan’t be found. There is only one me. There is only one you. There was only one ‘us’.”

“On a rare occasion I’ll smoke after I brush my teeth, usually when I can’t sleep and the silent hours of the lonely night take its toll on my mind. When I do this, I wake up with the taste of your nicotine kisses.”

“Remember how we would lay in bed, and I would trace the edges of your hands? Remember how you would look at me, like you actually cared? Remember when I said I wasn’t attached and you knew I was lying? Remember how you never cut me off like you said you would? Remember how you would stroke my face, and run your fingers through my hair after fucking? Remember when I asked you to fuck me “lovely”, not rough, and you did? Remember how you told me I wasn’t to fall in love? Remember how I fell In love?”

““I love you!” I cried. “Love? I don’t think you love me. Lust for me, but not love.” You replied, like you had rehearsed it over and over in your head. You knew damn well I loved you, you were just too greedy to stick to your words and cut me off when I got attached. How dare you belittle my feelings to lust, when I was the one who cried every train ride home, I was the one curled up on my bed howling at the moon to ease the pain in my heart, begging the silence of the night to let me breathe easy again.”

“Being in love with you felt like being stuck in a trance. It was sleep paralysis only I couldn’t wake up Being in love with you hurt so much I became numb to my feelings for you and now I am left in a state of confusion. Am I over you or over feeling?”

“All I want to do is get drunk or high and forget your name.”

“Still got me on your strings, even though you don’t even know it. Still got me wishing you’ll message me, even though it’s been years. Still got me wanting to be your entertainment for the night, even though you broke me.”

“On a rare occasion I’ll smoke after I brush my teeth, usually when I can’t sleep and the silent hours of the lonely night take its toll on my mind. When I do this, I wake up with the taste of your nicotine kisses.”