But then I think about Sam, when he aced his LSATs and almost dialed Dean’s number 100 times. “What if he just doesn’t  care anymore?”

And then I wonder, how many times each of them said a small prayer everytime their phones rang “Please be him” or answered random “unknown callers” just in case. 

Did Dean ever write out a postcard to send Sam when he was at a location he knew Sam would like? Or did Sam ever sit through a movie he hated just because he knew Dean would love it , and for a moment they would feel close to each other again?

Did Dean ever look at a picture of the 2 of them and whisper “I didn’t mean to chase you away” or did Sam ever look at a picture and whisper “I didn’t want to leave you”

Then I imagine Dean driving around Stanford just to catch a glimpse of his brother and make sure he’s okay. And Sam feeling his heart skip a beat everytime he saw an old black car, and then break a little more when it wasn’t Dean. 

“I could just call him” they woud both say on their Birthdays, Christmas, and any time the nights were too dark and the air felt empty around them. Did they ever look up at the stars and wonder if the other was looking too?

I wonder how their hearts felt that moment they were finally in each other’s space again. Dean’s smile, Sam’s breathlessness. I wonder, did they not hug each other for fear the other would feel their heart pounding out of their chest?

I’VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH THIS SONG THAT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND OF 15x04 “Atomic Monsters” AND NO ONE FELT THE NEED TO TELL ME IT’S JENSEN FREAKING ACKLES SINGING IT?!?!

My mind is exploding so hard, y’all don’t even understand. I had chills during that montage scene because of the vibe this song created.

Excuse me while I continue tripping out and listening to it on repeat. 🤯🤯😍