a plain but ambitious girl @harrypooper - Tumblr Blog

oh my god why is every pair of running shoes literally the most hideous shoe i’ve ever seen

#I’m not even a big shoe girl like….im always going for practical over cute #but my god these bulbous hideous shoes are TESTING me #the hell hoka hath wrought on the running shoe industry knows no bounds #like….i want them to look like retro running shoes or like the salomon xt6 #or new balance 530s like. god give me a fucking dad shoe-looking running shoe PLEASE #but nothing in that style is designed for running or athletic use

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the way my iphone and macbook are both breaking at exactly the same time, the week i started a new job, for which i need My Computer, which i will have to send away for 3-5 days for repair because the screen broke, and my iphone 13, my baby, my favorite, has a battery that lasts like 35 seconds………i’m trying to update my old 2015 honker of a laptop, which only works when it’s plugged in to its charger and runs at the speed of molasses, so i can resist the urge to spend $1200 on a new one because of a temporary inconvenience and girls i’m losing my MIND

#if it hadn’t been two weeks since my last paycheck and two weeks till my next I would’ve caved lol #I wish I could throw my devices off the roof like I am nauseous at my tech dependence but if I don’t have computer I don’t have job

one thing about being a suburban kid is you’re always going to crave a suburban chain restaurant despite the fact that you live in one of the foremost culinary hotspots in the US. restaurant culture be damned, my kingdom for a cheesecake factory

#fuck me up with an avocado egg roll

hate being 33 and still actively paralyzed by the all-consuming feeling of wanting my (dead) mommy

stars-bean

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) dir. Blake Edwards

#me being physically incapable of Love 💕

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lemonwithsoysauce

I want this mug

#god this would fit so well in my vintage mug collection

TW parental death

Does it get easier? My mom passed six months ago and it’s like I don’t know how to live. People tell me it gets easier but it’s all older people who lost their 80 year old parents or something.

not in my experience, but your life grows around it, and it stops feeling new—like, grief still hits me like a ton of bricks quite often, but i know what that feels like, and i know how to comfort myself in its wake. it won’t be as eternally all-consuming as it is right now—i felt exactly the same, like i didn’t know how to live. it doesn’t get easier, but you get used to it.

i’m so sorry you’re in this club, and i’m sorry if this sounds blunt—it was all i wanted someone to tell me six months in, when it feels isolating and lonely and you’re walking around in a daze.

sending you all the love i can—be kind to yourself in your grief ♥️

one thing everyone should take away from the sopranos is that men hugging and kissing their male friends isn’t gay and is actually a normal thing we should all be doing all the time

#one thing i always loved about being from an ethnic family is that my uncles hugged and kissed each other and their friends like #there’s a warmth to them and a comfort with their masculinity that simply does not exist with like….modt men these days #they’re handsy with each other and it’s genuinely nice #anyway #rip Vito you woulda loved heated rivalry

today marks nine (!!!) years since my mom died, and in so many ways (despite my myriad flaws), i'm proud of the ways i've grown since then and the life i've built. but i do wonder if i will ever get past the desperate, suffocating sadness of my mom never getting to see me become the adult i am now--when she got sick, i was 23, fresh out of college, flailing, and shell-shocked.

i was a baby, and i'm glad i can now look back at that version of myself with a degree of empathy, but there is something very uniquely painful about realizing that she doesn't (didn't? wouldn't? can't?) know me in the context of like, A Life I Chose.

i moved to new york, i landed in publishing, i scored a Forever Job that i start in two weeks, i have new friends and a new life in an apartment she's never seen that is filled with her furniture, her photos, and her echoes; i have loved and lost and failed and grown into a very different person than i was nine years ago, and she wasn't here to see it, and that will always ache. the horrific irony is also that if she were alive, i almost certainly wouldn't have the life i do now, but there is a deep wound that comes from desperately wanting your mom to know you and knowing that she can't.

#i miss her desperately every day and that has not changed in the past nine years #not a day passes where i don't miss her from the pit of my gut #anyway gotta go cry now #on grief

to my core i believe that thing you do! is the platonic ideal of a perfect movie

#not to mention the song is a perfect bop #we are forever poorer living in a world without adam schlesinger

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literally love eavesdropping on middle aged lady friends more than i love anything else

#they’re talking about gun control i love them #one of them is saying she learned to shoot with the gambino family #of mob fame #literally iconic yes QUEEN

unreal levels of shvitzing happening in this godforsaken city right now

#94 and blazing sun in MAY is this a joke 😭 I just showered and immediately I’m like desperate to shower again

nothing makes me feel more middle-aged addled career woman than my new habit of putting lotion on my entire body before bed

#the way I hit 33 and my body skin started drying up SO much more #it’s also been a gnarly freezing winter so that’s probably part of it but #it does feel very harried adult woman to lotion one’s legs before bed

one nice thing about my 30s is that i am entirely at peace with reaching the conclusion that i am not and will never be a nature person who suddenly finds it exhilarating to go for a sunrise hike. i am entirely content to be a city mouse

obsob

:3

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widow’s bay is so goddamn fun like…..girls it’s like if parks and rec had a baby with a stephen king novel, blessed by the masterful matthew rhys, who continues to delight and astound me in every role.

boy oh boy did i miss a good ol’ fashioned monster-of-the-week format, the episodic television renaissance is upon us, i can feel it in my bones

#Philip Jennings would do this for his second act tbh #his American accent remains unbelievably good #the head writer wrote for parks and rec apparently

one thing about me is that i will use a smiley face in a professional email with no fear and i feel it actually brings a touch of whimsy :)

#never an emoji #but an old school :) is delightful bye

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a plain but ambitious girl