douchebag

Becoming a changed man and getting my morals straight. Nah, I don’t know. I’ve been bored of shit around here. 

"Alright, alright. Let's.. Let's fucking GO!"

Don’t go down that path again because we all know how that one almost ended up. Y’don’t know if they’ll let you out after just a week this time. Fuck that.

"Hallelujah! The return of Miles fuckin' Byrne. Where have you been, dude? You square. I can't just be shootin' up without you!"

Fuck pacing ourselves, lets go nuts.

"Everyone hates me, and my life has gone to shit. So, drugs. And lots of them."

I don’t think you’re allowed to lie to me at this point, babe. 

"Who says I'm lying?"

Uh, okay, you’re over-exaggerating. I watched you for one night and that was it, the rest was all you.

"Well.. Yeah. Okay."

Do you have to make me sound like an asshole?

"Well, you are taking away most of my freedom for an indefinite period of time. Your measures are.. a little over the top, in my opinion."

Buying a private island that doesn’t have internet access sounds like a good idea most of the time. You could always do that.

"Have you come to watch me?"

Somebody also claims you’re allergic to free-range eggs. Can you confirm this or is that something you would rather not discuss? 

"Where the fuck did that come from? My 'allergy' only flares up at the sound of bullshit and, right now, I can feel my rash startin' to resurface."

Probably. There’s a lot of pictures of girls in “I love Teddy Twiggs” tops so I kind of took that as a sign. Yes, probably. Why? Do you want some updates on how you’re doing?

"Egotistical, narcissistic, dickhead... I've heard it all before. But if you're feelin' lucky, tell me something I don't know."

Not when it’s nothing but good things. That’s actually pretty satisfying. 

"Well, ain't that just peachy. I bet everyone fuckin' loves you, now, pretty boy. Ever google searched Harrison Hailey?"

I woke up this morning, went on my laptop to order something, ended up googling myself and then everybody else and now it’s dark and I haven’t eaten and I still haven’t ordered the thing.

"Hasn't anyone told you googling yourself is a terrible idea?"

Everything will ruin it if you let it. Just focus on the person who’s actually important to you. 

"Yeah, I guess. so. Fuck 'em, right? Fuck 'em.."

I think that’s nice though. I love the fact that all of my fans think I’m super happy all the time which ends up meaning they turn to me and the girls when they’re down. It’s like being able to pretend you’re a superhero for a couple of hours even when you know you’re not that great…But that’s just me. 

"I do love her, y'know.."

Oh… Well, that sounds kinda sucky. I take it this is all this kind of pointless drama that’s been happening? Um, instead of becoming a hermit, you can rant about whatever it is if you want. ‘Cause it does seem like nobody’s business but yours, y’know?

"Sweet of you, love, but.. I think this is for me to deal with. I've already been called out for 'playing the victim', and I'm not prepared to initiate any more pointless hate. I have enough circlin' around as it is."