“Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?”
— Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

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@happilyeveranders
“Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will they think?”
— Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

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Her (2013) dir. Spike Jonze
ode to Flora
types of people as my favorite latin verbs
mūtō, mūtāre, mūtāvī, mūtātum (to transform): learns languages quick, wants to travel the world, over thinker, shy at first, always right and has evidence to prove it, in love with anyone they meet, creates entire worlds in their heads, picky eater, always deserves more recognition than they get, finds the same friends in different lifetimes
molliō, mollīre, mollīvī, mollītum (to soften, make calm): soft comforters, watching the first snow fall, cuddling with their loved ones, the absolute weirdest humor, pinks and pastels, cloud gazer, will love anyone or anything who needs it, doe eyes, biggest heart in the world, just wants to help people see how great they are
surgō, surgere, surrēxī, surrēctum (to surge): driving with music blasting and windows down 24/7, quick obsessions with random people, living life to the fullest, popcorn mixed with chocolates, easily disappointed in themselves, dreams of their own family but fears commitment, always finds ways to make their friends laugh, drive in movie theaters
tollō, tollere, sustulī, sublātum (to elevate or to destroy): falling asleep on the couch, picking weeds and putting them in a vase on the kitchen table, artist, stubborn, jack of all trades, stronger than they think, bright eyes, finds peace in nature, hand-me-down overalls, never brushes their hair, catching bugs and freeing them outside, manic energy, knowing the lyrics to songs from childhood, drinks coffee after its gone cold
recūsō, recūsāre, recūsāvī, recūsātum (to refuse): will stand against anyone who harms others, thoroughly contemplated dropping out of school to become a groupie, video games from childhood, changes major a million times, passionate to a fault, will try anything once, pretends like they don’t have crushes, smarter then they give themselves credit for, plans to travel the world, possibly dionysis
tangō, tangere, tetigī, tāctum (to touch): reheating tea in microwaves, walking out of exams happier than when they entered them, 5 o’clock shadow, learning chess with friends, instantaneous bonds, always looks put together on the surface, loyalty beyond reason, lying awake until the sun rises, smartest person in the room and doesn’t believe it
[Text] I saw the news... I'm sorry, Sam.
[Text] I…I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.
[Text] I just…if it is her…what was she doing out there? How did she get out there?
aquaevans:
[Text] Yeah, she did, she came back. But it felt like she wasn’t as present as much. I think she spent most of her time with Dani.
[text] I wonder what happened... and yes, I reached out to Dani, but got no response. May I ask if you could check on Dani for me, Sam? You two are socius pactum if I remember correctly? I just don’t think Dani should be alone at this time.

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F2F || Anderbray
Quinn: happily moves through the front door, offering a thankful smile. The shoulders of her coat are soaked through, and the entryway is blessed warm. "Thank you. I know this is unexpected, I'm..." She glanced towards the stair case, and gives a small nod. "Right, yes. It's off the record. I'll just...thank you." She shuffles, and moves towards the staircase, offering one last smile before she disappears. It's the least composed she's felt since the last time they faced a rotting evil. Her heart hammers similarly against her chest as she finds herself standing in front of Blaine's door. He's not an evil, he's just a friend, but it doesn't make her any less nervous. She knows it's unlocked, he's right there, but she still gives him the courtesy of a knock.
Blaine: [leans back in his seat, hearing the knock on his door. Blearily, he wipes at his eyes, so that Eleanora doesn't try to force him to retire early and get some sleep.] "Yes, yes, I'm coming."
[Blaine calls out, walking past a small, upright piano. The lid is closed over the keys, and there is a dust cover enrobing the instrument. Blaine should sell it soon -- he can't play it anymore.] "Ye--oh?!"
[Blaine's eyes grow comically large and his eyebrows dart into his hairline in shock at seeing radiant, graceful, and slightly rain-disheveled Quinn Fabray at his door. Blaine reddens quickly in his face at being in his pajamas.] "Q-quinn?! Um, ah... Gosh, it... it is you, isn't it. It's you."
[He opens the door wide. Curious, he steps back to allow Quinn some room.] "Would you like to come in? How can I help you tonight? I can call Eleanora for some tea, to warm you up."
[Smiling, Blaine turns to offer Quinn his desk chair.] "Welcome to the Anderson abode. Or I guess, my room here?"
[He chuckles, gesturing to the mess he resides in. In the corner of the room, next to the unused piano, are more instrument cases. Stacks of fairy tales, vintage books, and others are in boxes scribbled with marker -- TO DONATE. On Blaine's desk are cutouts of tuxedos, pictures of flowers, shaky handwritten post-its, and homework. There's a standing desk calendar flipped to December 2019, several dates are circled with purple loops.] "Sorry, I haven't cleaned up, have I? We could always go to the foyer if you'd like?"
[text] Thank you, Blaine. For replying to Kitty. She's just so infuriating. [text] How have you been? We haven't spoken in forever.
[text] You don’t have to thank for me that, Rachel. She’s in pain, that I can tell, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to allow her to spread it.
[Blaine thinks about the last time they talked. Rachel had told him to not say anything about the crime. He feels weird in his stomach again when he remembers Cooper’s texts.]
[text] No, we haven’t.
[text] Are you doing that *thing* again this October?
alyricalberry:
[text] I know that. But I still have no choice but to spend time with her, so I figured I might as well try to help her.
[text] Of course I do. You just haven’t spoken to me in a while and I feel like things have been… cool between us. For a long time.
[text] Blaine, I lost last time. That’s hardly doing well. It’s just a way to prove to myself that my skills are at the level I want them at.
[text] Good luck with that. I have a feeling that the organizers aren’t going to let anything get in their way, Blaine.
[text] Why do you want to put an end to it so badly?
[text] I think standing by her side isn’t helping her, Rachel. I think she just bullies you?
[text] I needed time to think after what I saw during the fae uprising. Didn’t you?
[text] I lost as well? It’s okay to lose at times, Rachel. It doesn’t make you any less. You can prove them in other places, not *there*.
[text] The organizers want to see a bloodsport. The new rumors in the halls indicate these aren’t the same people running the game.
[text] For you.
Rainer Maria Rilke, Journal of My Other Self
[Text] I saw the news... I'm sorry, Sam.
[Text] I…I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.
[Text] I just…if it is her…what was she doing out there? How did she get out there?
aquaevans:
[Text] Yeah, I was. I tried to help her after what happened in Central Park. Then when she went missing after Saltus, and…I don’t know. I wish I could have done more for her. She was one of my best friends.
[text] There was always so much on her mind. But didn’t everyone come back after Saltus? Kurt came back. So did Quinn. Brittany, Joe. Marley came back too, right?
F2F || Anderbray
Quinn: knows it's late. She knows it's not appropriate to be knocking on the door of the Anderson home, and if her father knew, she'd...she shakes the thought away. Her father wouldn't know. He was blurry eyes and slurred speech and the persistent, nauseating smell of old Scotch. The door opens a crack, and she makes sure she's stepped into the porch light. Her blonde curls are damp from the rain, and her smile is weak at best. "Hello, it's...Ms. Quinn Fabray. I'm sorry to call so late, but I was wondering if I could speak with Blaine?"
Eleanora: [retracts her claws and swings the door open.] "Quickly, come in Ms. Fabray. Don't get drowned out." [She smiles politely. This is a rare sight; the only Fabray Eleanora is accustomed to is the grandmother, Harper. Quinn, the granddaughter, resembles Harper somewhat. Blaine, on the other hand, does not resemble Regina. For this, Eleanora is glad.] "I... I don't know if the Young Master was expecting visitors tonight. Certainly, the Masters of House and Lady of Manor would have notified me. I am afraid to say I haven't prepared for your arrival, Ms. Fabray. Would you like to be in the foyer? Or..." [Eleanora hides a private smile. It seems this is an unauthorized visit. The Young Master wouldn't be expecting this. Good.] "Or, you could take the first staircase and take the last door down the left-wing corridor. Young Master's door is unlocked. This will be quite a short visit that doesn't have to be on the record, yes?" [Eleanora points with her index finger on where to go.]

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[text] Thank you, Blaine. For replying to Kitty. She's just so infuriating. [text] How have you been? We haven't spoken in forever.
[text] You don’t have to thank for me that, Rachel. She’s in pain, that I can tell, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to allow her to spread it.
[Blaine thinks about the last time they talked. Rachel had told him to not say anything about the crime. He feels weird in his stomach again when he remembers Cooper’s texts.]
[text] No, we haven’t.
[text] Are you doing that *thing* again this October?
alyricalberry:
[text] I agree. I’ve been trying, too, but it’s so hard to get to her.
[text] It’s just.. nice to see that you still consider us friends.
[text] I am. And I’m going to win this year.
[text] Are you?
[text] You don’t have to. That’s just martyring for the wrong person, Rachel.
[DRAFT] Tina’s already tried. And it made me so hurt.
[text] Did you consider us as friends, Rachel?
[text] Why? You did well last time. Who are you proving it to?
[text] I’m doing what I can to stop this fascination with *that* game.
[Text] I saw the news... I'm sorry, Sam.
[Text] I…I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.
[Text] I just…if it is her…what was she doing out there? How did she get out there?
[text] I’m sorry. I have no idea, Sam. I kind of fell out of contact with Marley, so I don’t know what was going on. I know you were close to her.
F2F || Anderbray
Quinn: Is it too late?
Quinn: Hold on.
Quinn: read the text twice before bolting out of her dorm room. She was pulling on her rain coat before she could think twice. This conversation was long overdue, and she didn't want to have it over text message. She didn't want to give herself time to decide against it, either. She took a /cab/ to his neighborhood, hands shaking as they pulled at the sleeves of her coat. Poised, perfect she was not. Blaine was a lost connection that still meant the world to her. And he liked grand gestures, right? Birthday music, radio dedications, showing up when she'd text late at night in tears. It didn't feel like /too much/ when she knocked on the door of their Upper East Side Manhattan home, praying there was still something there to save.]
Blaine: Isn't it? Haha, it'll be soon be midnight.
Blaine: Ah, sure?
[He holds on in wait, and nothing happens. His fingers itch, and maybe he should send her a text to ask what she means, but the familiar feeling of being put on hold returns. He puts his phone down to return to his politics textbook.]
**
[Eleanora wonders who's knocking at this time of night. The Master of the House is away in business, along with the Lady of the Manor, and they would never return in such a manner. No, a quick warp from a private portal would be it. Still, she has the Young Master to keep safe, as per the father's orders. It's a different world, after all. The coals are lit again for another Burning Time to come. She makes way to the door and peers through the viewfinder. However, she can't see through the fog and rain. She's unable to identify the late-night stranger. Eleanora swallows in fear. If it's a witch who knows the curse... Eleanora would be immobilized. Young Master Anderson would be a sitting duck. One hand behind her back unfurls her sharp claws. The other hand slowly opens the door a crack.] "Hello, it's very late. May I ask who this is?" [Eleanora asks.]
Text || Anderbray
Quinn: Hello, Blaine
[...]
Quinn: Are you on campus, or at home?
[Ah, another text from Rachel? He's about to tell her not to do the Midnight Madness tournament when he sees the name of the contact is different. He blinks twice to check his eyes, but it's her. It's Quinn Fabray. Their last conversation was her asking that they talk, and then the connection dying. Why now?]
Blaine: Hello, Quinn. I'm not at campus. Um, the Towers are still in the process of rebuilding. I'm at my father's. It's quite late, isn't it? Are you on campus, or at home?
[text] Thank you, Blaine. For replying to Kitty. She's just so infuriating. [text] How have you been? We haven't spoken in forever.
[text] You don’t have to thank for me that, Rachel. She’s in pain, that I can tell, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to allow her to spread it.
[Blaine thinks about the last time they talked. Rachel had told him to not say anything about the crime. He feels weird in his stomach again when he remembers Cooper’s texts.]
[text] No, we haven’t.
[text] Are you doing that *thing* again this October?

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Text || Anderbros
[25.08.2019]
Cooper: Blaine.
Cooper: Baby brother.
Cooper: I need to talk to you.
[26.08.2019]
Cooper: I hope you are well, that your boyfriend and your friends are too. I know this situation is tough, we have never been in so much danger before, and everything is overwhelming. But If you need anything, anything at all, I'll be there.
[27.08.2019] [ALL THESE TEXTS DURING THIS DAY ARE UNSENT]
Cooper: I understand if you don't want to talk to me.
Cooper: You are right to do so.
Cooper: I... I wish I could say this to you in person, but I guess I can't.
Cooper: I want to be the brother you thought I was.
Cooper: I know these words now come too late, and I don't know if they will mean something to you. It would be understandable if they didn't.
Cooper: But I'm sorry.
Cooper: I pride myself to be the one who was going to protect you, and I failed you. Not only did I not protect you, but I didn't have enough courage to do so.
Cooper: I want to be better for you, I always had.
Cooper: I'm so sorry.
[28.08.2019]
Cooper: I'm sure NYADA is taking care of your housing after the dorms have been affected by the attack, but before Nana tries to force you back at home... I just want you to know that my apartment always has a room for you.
Cooper: I will send you a copy of my key if you want it. Just in case, you don't have to come if you don't want to, but you know, you have that option.
Blaine: [read]
Text || Anderbros
[June 3, 2019]
Blaine: Cooper, I know this is a disturbing and morbid request, but I have to know. Did a fae get burned to death in Central Park? Was there a report?
[June 10, 2019]
Cooper: There are no records of any kind about a fae getting burned.
Cooper: Why do you ask?
[Blaine feels like he's swallowed a fistful of ice.]
Blaine: Nothing. Just some weird rumors.