Pillow

Last night, I stayed up too late playing a stupid mobile game. Tonight, I'll probably stay up too late finishing this, even though I'm knackered.

Intro: Sadly, a bit of a pick me energy with the main character (that would be me), but I can't control my drams (lucid dreaming when?)

Two fathers, Pierce and Peter, who were childhood friends, are now in the same company together. Pierce is the boss, Peter has a lower position, and my dad works for them.

I was going to meet my dad at the company to settle something, and while I'm there, I get a text from Han saying he wants to see me. I feel a sense of urgency as he tells me he's going on a date later. I have a major crush on him, of course, and suddenly, I need to see him! I need to tell him how I feel. But something happens, so I'm delayed while sorting out things with my dad, and I don't have access to my phone.

When I get back to my phone, I see that Han texted me when and where to meet, and I could even see the place from my dads window, but it's already 9 past. Scrolling further, I see he's also asking where I am, that he's nervous, and that I have to give him advice before his date. He sent so many texts, different memes on how desperate he is and stuff. ("one eternity later," etc) Then he accuses me of making him the meme king, which I can totally see him do.

(I'm not one of those people whose technological devices are absent from dreams. They are VERY MUCH present in mine.)

My dad still makes me stay a bit longer before I can leave, but I hurriedly text back if he's still there… He's not. He went for his date.

"Next time", he texts.

I know Han is really awkward and hasn't had a date before. The girl on the date is extremely pretty and considered out of his league. I shouldn't be too worried, but I'm disappointed nonetheless.

Peter and Pierce join me and my dad. They are squabbling. Turns out their sons have fallen out over a girl. The same girl Han is going on a date with. So now they're all on edge.

The two P's have always been in competition with each other, and it pains Peter that Pierce is his boss. Tension is high.

Stomach sinks, I just know something bad is about to happen.

The pretty girl decides to date Han to punish both of the sons for fighting, even though she's not really into him. Han is super happy. It came as a total surprise to him scoring such a tenner and my heart breaks. If I had only seen him that day, I could've charmed him, I could've told him how I felt. The dads fighting increases, and their boys go into war mode. My father gets caught in the middle of this family feud. Han is happily unaware of how he's being used, but I see it. In the most frustrating way, I am caught watching the whole thing, and I can't do anything about it.

There will never be a "next time".

I was in Korea and I had both Wonwoo and Joshua looking out for me (with a whole bunch of other travelers, their friends, their family etc), and I clearly felt drawn to them, but I couldn't figure out if they were interested in me or not, and I have to admit, in the beginning, Joshua had my full attention. 

I wanted him!  

Walking around in a convenience store, I found out that they had areas to mix your own personal style chocolate milk! (This is plausible btw, have you seen their cups with ice cubes you can pick straight from the freezer to make ices coffee?) I got really excited and couldn't shut up about it. (Guess who really likes chocolate milk?) Wonwoo looked at me smiling and said he would get one for me, and he watched me drink it with adoring eyes. My heart started wavering, coz I never let people get or do anything for me (and of course "Acts of service" is my love language, so basically, it's really hard to love me coz I won't let you)

The worst (and best) part was that we were all sleeping in the same house, and in true GoSe tradition, we all shared a bed. At one point, I was holding Wonwoo's hand (he kept on sneaking it into mine), and at another point, Joshua was sporting a massive b***er (am I allowed to write this on Tumbler? Do I need to use warning hashtags for this?) that I tried to ignore. 

(It was huge, I cannot unsee it, even if it was all in my head, and I never actually saw it)

Since a whole bunch of people were staying in the house, suddenly 3-4 girls came and wanted to sleep in our bed, too. I think they were jealous, and trying to sabotage. It wa slike being invaded by Little Women. The boys said it was up to me and since I was flying the next day, I thought I should say my piece and say "no". Apparently that was the wrong answer so Joshua went to sleep with them on the floor, disappointed in my selfishness. (I think at some point I spoke Norwegian to him too, and he was fluent, I was very impressed with his multilingual skills.)

I guess this is the way my subconscious is trying to tell me that I shouldn't try to stick up for myself or make choices that are good for me, because people will be disappointed (and sleep on the floor for some reason?)

So, there I was, in a bed with Wonwoo and another lady (when did she get there?!) and Wonwoo kept trying to hold my hand (so did the lady, apparently, as it said it helped her sleep). I was really struggling with the choice I had made, pushing Shua away, or if I should make an active effort to snuggle Wonwoo or not. He was adorable and clearly into me, but in a very subdued way. Like confident, but slowly making his move, yet leaving it up to me to make a move. And how can you not like that?!

I think I had decided to give Wonwoo a chance, but my brain was clearly tired of the back and forth (and my body needed to be) , so that's when I woke up.

Also, my writing seems to have come to a halt (it comes and goes as it pleases), yet at the same time, I want to write. So I've been thinking about posting my kpop dreams here. They can't be reigned in, and they're almost like little stories in the ways they unfold. Albeit fragmented and a bit weird.

"You put down your shopping bags and start searching for the key card in your pockets when your phone vibrates. Unlocked, this pictures greets you: "home soon?"

Smiling, you open the door to your hotel room, he looks up and gives you the biggest smile."

Ad profile states, I stand SKZ, SVT, BTS and ATZ and I casually listen to other groups.

Plenty of biases (which I'll probably get to later), but Han Jisung ans Min Yoongi owns my heart (aka they're my ults), while Seventeen is my most recent obsession.

Let me just hashtag that, "to help people find my post" and what not. I am confusion.

I might even be inspired to do that myself. Have you noticed Han Jisung's adorable cheeks? They're actually....

Norge er ikke for sveklinger som Bear Grylls.