she/her @hannahrexics - Tumblr Blog

Start: 58kg

🔓57 (125lbs)

🔓56 (123lbs)

🔓55 (121lbs)

🔓54 (119lbs)

🔓53 (116 lbs)

🔐52 (114 lbs)

🔐51 (112 lbs)

🔐50 (110 lbs)

#ugw

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porcelain-dollhouses

Back again... I hate this, more than anything. I’m ready to give up. Everything’s falling apart but to everyone else, I’m just fine. I can’t put up this façade anymore. I’m so unhappy.

FYI ive come back on here because I put weight back on this year and I have this horrifying gut feeling that my boyfriend simply isn’t attracted to me anymore. I have no way of telling exactly how much weight I’ve gained, its not like a ridiculous amount but its enough that I feel completely shit in most of the clothes I loved last year. My boyfriend tells me he loves me every day, and I believe he does love me. This might be too much info but sex is just not the same anymore. I feel like he’s not into it like he used to be.

Ive been going to the gym every day for the past week, and eating much less and much healthier than I used to be. I’m not gonna go back to what I used to do with complete starvation n everything, there’s a good reason I left this account last year, and I believe I’ve recovered so well and I don’t wanna lose that, but I just want this for inspiration and just to document my journey again I guess.

And also I’m not fully recovered, lol.

im back 💀

Hi everyone, I am going into recovery. I’m terrified but I know I can’t live like this and I’m getting help now. I love you all so much and I hope you can recover too, every single one of you deserves to love themselves and nourish and fuel their beautiful bodies, you are so worthy of food and recovery ❤️❤️❤️

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demontearss-blog

dykeorexic

fasting moods

fuck fuck fuck ow hungrey

YEAH IM DRINKING COFFEE AT 4:30 PM DON’T QUESTION ME

weirdly, I’m ok!

EVERYTHING IS GREAT! I’VE LITERALLY NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY! DOPAMINE IS FLOODING MY BRAIN!!!

snzzzz

does smelling food have calories???? does toothpaste have sugar??? which zero cal sodas break fast??? Hey Google-

cold cold cold hhhhhhh cold

see I’m fine! I can even exercise!! It’s like I’m barely doing anything at all!!! *passes out*

sorry I have to pee again

*stares at fridge* *fridge stares back*

frantic thinspo scrolling on every platform you own

feel free to add

uglyloserbitch

this is so accurate i can’t

drizzlingtears

“You’re so quiet, what’s wrong?” I’m creating my own fantasy world to escape from reality so shut up.

spiralupandout

your eating disorder’s severity is not determined by weight because eating disorders are not weight disorders they’re behavioral disorders thanks for coming to my ted talk

mycollarbones

little things that are so satisfying

•seeing your thighs start to separate

•rubbing your collarbones when you press your shoulders forward

• looking at your skinny fingers

•hearing people tell you that you need to eat

•wearing tight clothes and getting compliments

•looking at your stomach in the morning after a fast

•knowing that one day it’ll all be worth it

+FEEL FREE TO ADD ON+

inastrangersnightmare

• trying out your old clothes and seeing your progress

• “you’ve lost so much weight i can barely recognize you!”

• feeling slowly lighter everyday when you walk than you felt before

• touching the spot between your jaw and your neck

emeraldb0nes

• going into the dressing room and NOT crying for once

• family you haven’t seen in a while being shocked when they see you again

kimrz

Weighing yourself in the morning and seeing the number go down even more

Getting messages from people you haven’t heard from in awhile

skinnbonespls

Being able to post on Instagram and feel confident about my body

Looking at my back and seeing my spine

Seeing my ribs without lifting my arms up

slowly-fasting-deactivated20210

Noticing my clothes are looser

Feeling things hit my bones that aren’t cushioned by fat as much anymore

moasyoaksberries

Feeling bones I didn’t know were there

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beautypath

Everyday I wake up and weigh myself and then spend the rest of the day waiting to go to sleep so I can wake up and weigh myself again.

coffee-tea-and-diet-pills

reblogging again bc so fucking true

natalieironside

Btw I’m pro-quitting. This is a quitting-positive space. If you’re doing something and you decide “I don’t like this” or “I don’t want to do this” then you should quit. Quitting is awesome. Grinding only works in video james.

I quit all the time. It’s great.

natalieironside

Embrace the power of “Y’know what? Fuck this” and see how it can improve your life

opheli-ana

fun psychology fact:

when you have anorexia, the pleasure centers in your brain associated with food turn off. instead of eating and your brain being like “yay food! good! keep going”, your brain instead doesn’t light up all happy. and because it doesn’t get any happy chemicals, its reaction turns into “woah.. this isn’t right. something isn’t right. stop.”

that’s why people with anorexia can’t “just eat something”

that’s why, during a binge, your brain keeps screaming at you to stop, but you just keep eating and eating in the hopes of feeling that happiness.

that’s why recovery is so hard.

you’re not faking it. i’m not faking it. this is a real sickness. it’s chemical and biological. and it fucking sucks.

STAY SAFE. eat when you know you need to. be kind to yourself.

i’m here for you. i love you.

stay safe.

anarchy---boy

it makes it worse when you remember that we have a survival mechanism where the more hungry you are the strong your taste buds are, the better food tastes, and you’re less fussy about food (i.e. you’ll eat things that normally taste bad or meh because you’re rly hungry; if bad enough, you’ll even eat things that tastes like shit normally but it doesn’t to you anymore).

it makes a weird dilemma of “this tastes so fucking good” but also “oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck”

you’re don’t just not get serotonin when you eat anymore, you also get very conflicting brain signals that’s also even more distressing.

kipplekipple

“I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist any more” sounds mild if you’ve never experienced it, but it is in fact a horrible, violent way to feel.

alisa-is-starving

I don’t actively want to die, but the thought of being dead is not scary to me either… I wouldn’t mind simply not existing anymore✌🏼 but it’s not like I’m going to do anything about it

minimind

I don’t want to die because I’m still scared of what hell will be like and I feel like I’ll go there if I die now.

But I don’t want to be here anymore

modering

ig: itsjennifermun

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meetlejuice

me: has a Literal eating disorder

anyone: i didn’t have time to eat breakfast today :(

me: oh m…oh my god……my son………my sweet starved son please,….have some stew…u need ur strength…..

mmvtion

ig: _missbo

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