kevin day: quotes to prove why i love him/will protect him (faves/most heartbreaking for me are bold)
“I’m not good enough to play on the same court as a champion.” “True, but irrelevant.”
“Where the court is, Kevin is. He can’t exist without it.”
“You.” Neil said at last. Kevin pulled at his racquet again, and this time Neil let go. “Tell me I can have your game.”
Kevin was more demanding of himself than he was of anyone around him. He set his standards impossibly high and tried for them with everything he had, and he didn’t understand why others wouldn’t do the same.
“I brought him here.” Wymack said. “He showed up at my hotel room at the winter banquet with his hand a bloody mess. He didn’t want us to notify the Ravens or take him to a hospital, so Abby bandaged him up as best she could and I put him on the bus back to South Carolina with us.”
“Fuck you cripple.” Across the room, Kevin’s face went white. “What did you call me?” “I called you a dead-weight has been.” Neil said. Kevin was out of his chair so fast he knocked it over.
“You said he would come for you.” “I didn’t know it would be like this.” “Liar.” Andrew said, and Kevin flinched.
“Help me.” Kevin said, almost a whisper.
“Do you even remember how to smile?” Matt asked. Kevin glared at him.
“Morning sunshine.” Matt said with exaggerated cheer. “Fuck you.” Kevin said. Dan yawned into her hand. “Glad to see youre still a morning person.” “Fuck you too.”
The audience cheered their hearts out, delighted by Kathy’s surprise, but they weren’t quite loud enough to drown out Kevin’s soft voice at Neil’s side. The words sounded like a desperate prayer.
He ended up with his thigh pressed against Neil’s, hard enough Neil could feel him trembling.
Abby jogged the last couple of steps to Kevin and crushed him in a fierce embrace. Kevin held onto her for dear life
“Dont rely on something as insubstantial as a miracle,” Kevin said. “You won’t win anything by standing around. Finish getting changed and get down to the court.” “One day I want you to look up ‘insensitivity’ in the dictionary,” Matt said, annoyed. “I’m sure it’ll do your ego wonders to see your picture printed there beside it.”
Kevin had a knee hugged to his chest and his face hidden in the fold of his arm. His knuckles were white where his hand was clenched into a fist. Neil didn’t think it was the bus that was making Kevin shake like that.
Wymack pulled a bottle of vodka out of the bag and put it down beside Kevin. “You have ten seconds to inhale as much of this as you can. I’m timing you. Go.” It was alarming how much a man could drink when he needed an emotional crutch. Wymack had to pry the bottle from Kevin’s desperate fingers afterward.
The noise Kevin made at his side was worse
Kevin stared at him a few seconds longer, then got out of his chair almost fast enough to take the whole table with him. Abby was at his side in a heartbeat, expression pinched with worry. Kevin couldn’t seem to manage words, but he gestured for her to follow.
Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, “You should be Court.” It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil’s potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil’s best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation.
“Will you still teach me?” Neil asked. “Kevin was quiet again, but not for long this time. “Every night.”
“Can you do this, Kevin?” Abby asked, searching his face for any sign he was okay. “Can you play?” “If I am breathing, I can play.” Kevin said. “This is my game too.”
“I’m satisfied.” Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. “Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There’s more than enough here for me to work with.”
Even Kevin was going to come out of this on top. He wasn’t going to fade into obscurity like Tetsuji and Riko thought he would; he would ride the Foxes’ resurgence to the top and reclaim his place in the spotlight.
“Do you have my ticket?” “You’re not going.”
“I know what he’s like,” Kevin said. Neil looked at him but Kevin was studying his hands. “Riko. If you want to talk.”
“It is not a switch you turn on and off. You of all people know this.” Kevin finally pushed Neil off him, but he didn’t try to get past Neil. “You did not grow up with him. You do not get to judge me.”
“Good thing you’re not there anymore.” “Jean still is.”
Kevin recoiled so hard he slammed into the wall behind him. He clapped a protective hand over his own tattoo.
Kevin had his elbow on the windowsill and his face in his hand. “I’ll tell them so you don’t have to.” Kevin gestured with his free hand: “Get out” or “I don’t care” but not “Don’t you dare.” He didn’t say anything; Neil didn’t think he could.
Kevin was sitting on his bed, one knee tucked to his chest, as he stared dully into the distance. Neil sat cross-legged on the end of the bed and waited. It didn’t take long. Kevin propped his chin on his knee and said, “How do you do it?” Kevin flicked his fingers as if frustrated by his own vagueness and said, “After everything that’s happened this year, after Riko and your father and the FBI and knowing Lord Ichirou has found out about you, why aren’t you afraid?”
Kevin choked on his first denial. His second attempt was hoarse with disbelief. “Don’t joke about such things .” Neil stared back at Kevin in silence until Kevin flinched and took a half-step back.
Neil felt cold all over watching him, but he didn’t know if it was fear that Kevin was going to injure himself again or awe. He’d always known Kevin was the best, but he’d almost forgotten what Kevin used to be like at his peak.
“Did you know I’ve never been skiing? I’d like to try it one day, though.”
Kevin didn’t slow or look around on his way to the locker room, and he pushed right past his celebrating teammates in the foyer. He dropped his helmet and gloves on his way across the changing room and caught hold of the edge of the sink. He swayed a bit like his legs wanted to give out from under him and his hands were trembling so violently Neil could see it from the doorway. Instead of falling he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to the mirror. “We’re all going to die.” Kevin said at last. “No we’re not.” Neil said. Kevin thought about that for a minute, then straightened. After staring at his reflection for an age he lifted his hand and covered his tattoo on the glass. The result sent an odd tremor along Kevin’s shoulders. Neil didn’t know if it was approval or fear. All that mattered was that Kevin nodded and turned back to them. He looked at Neil first, then Andrew. “We have a lot of work to do.”
Kevin was too busy soaking in the joy of being back on Trojan territory. His contented expression was at complete odds with the nerves and dread evident on his teammates’ faces. Neil wanted to tell him to tone it down, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Kevin in a good mood.
“Interesting” was too tame a word for the look in Kevin’s eyes. The smile that finally slipped free and curved his lips was hungry.
Now that number was gone, covered up by the jet-black image of a chess piece. Neil’s knowledge of chess was hazy at best, but he knew for sure that wasn’t a king. “You did it,” Neil said, too stunned to manage anything else. “Let Riko be King,” Kevin said, with the exaggerated enunciation of the thoroughly sloshed. “Most coveted, most protected. He’ll sacrifice every piece he has to protect his throne. Whatever. Me?” Kevin gestured again, meaning to indicate himself but too drunk to get his hand higher than his waist. “I’m going to be the deadliest piece on the board.”
“Fuck him,” Kevin said, sliding a little further down the door. “Fuck all of them. Waste of time to be angry. They should be afraid.”
Kevin dragged his stare back to Wymack;s face and said, “and my father comes to all of my games. That is enough.” On Wymack’s other side, Abby’s gaze softened. Wymack’s jaw worked for a moment before he could say in an even tone, “Your mother would be proud of you.” “Not just me.” Kevin said in a rare bought of humanity.
Before he stepped on Kevin tapped the butt of his racquet against the floor and passed his stick to his other hand. He stroked to half-court head high and left-handed and the crowd went wild.
