vibes bro

In a darkened room, the flames of ten (plus a few more) candles on top of a round cake illuminated the space with their flickering light. People started clapping their hands and singing to the beat of the birthday song. What sort of expression should I wear at a time like this? Soshiro Yonaga hesitated. The right answer was probably a smile. He knew that much. And so, he plastered on a fake grin in the dim candlelight. At the end of the song, both parents clapped and exclaimed, "Happy birthday!" They both looked expectantly towards Yonaga who responded with, "Oh, right," as he leaned forwards and blew out the candles.

Did that flip the switch? "Wahhhh," a baby cried out. Everyone jumped as the flustered parents rose out of their seats and turned on the lights. The blinding reality of daylight was a total contrast from the candles earlier.

The baby being held in his mother's arms, Yonaga's much younger *half-brother, cried out louder and louder. Yonaga felt like he couldn't take it anymore and looked down at the birthday cake. It was still cloaked in the lingering smell of smoke. "…I need to go do some cram school homework so I'll have cake later." In the cheeriest voice he could muster, he then said, "Thanks for celebrating my birthday." He expressed his thanks as if it was a period on the conversation. His dad and the person who had become his mother called out to stop him, but the cries of his younger brother drowned out their words.

He returned to his room and leaned against the closed door. The sigh he let out was heavy as lead. "I…might have worried them." As he said it, he felt crushed by guilt. So he gave his head a big shake and sat down at his desk. Textbooks, workbooks, reference books. These were the sorts of things anyone his age would have. He picked one up and flipped through it. Perhaps a future might lie for him beyond those pages. "…" He shut the book. In frustration he scratched his head then sunk his weight into the back of the chair. All he got as he looked up to the ceiling was an oppressive feeling. Even as his eyes darted around the room, as if trying to escape it, there were always these four walls.

If things kept up like this, he would be continually stomped down until he grew smaller and smaller. Like the sort of tiny pebble one could find anywhere on earth. He felt suffocated. His chest hurt. So he closed his eyes. In the darkness, he found a light in his memory.

"I…" Yonaga sat himself up. He pulled out the desk drawer. A marble inside rolled around and made a noise in surprise. The drawer was full of all sorts of things adults would label as junk, just waiting there expectantly. He reached his hand deep inside it. There was a scene in his memory. It was just a few years ago, but it felt like something from long, long past. And yet, it felt so clear to him in that moment: the memory of kids having fun at a shrine.

"Kisa-chan, Tsuki-kun."Yonaga held the application form for Univeil Drama School in his hands. *********

The sky above him was vast. "Practice was awesome today, huh?" someone said in a loud clear voice. Yonaga naturally turned to look. The things that vividly stood out in his memory now just happened to be in front of his eyes. Over there was his childhood friend, Kisa Tachibana. And behind her stood the Univeil Drama School building.

Much like how he hid that application form in his drawer, he prepared for the entrance exams in secret and passed with flying colours. Now he was allowed to step foot in that very building. Just getting accepted into Univeil alone was like a dream come true for Yonaga. But he had the painful realization that the path ahead of him would be more treacherous than expected. It already was, even now.

As the fresh-faced first-years, they would be the ones taking the lead roles during the newcomers' performance. But some of them got roles while others didn't. The winners and losers in the class were already being decided. Yonaga had gotten a role like he hoped, but much of his inexperience came through as he tried to perform it. As a result, a sense of friction developed with his classmates.

Yonaga knew to expect these things from this kind of world. For the guy who by far spent more of his time watching other people than being watched himself, the stares of his classmates were heavy and painful. Strangely, he took things too seriously and yet sometimes wouldn't take in anything at all. There was no space to be found in his heart to put these things.

He was probably like this back then too: slouched shoulders, head low, holding his breath. But he told himself over and over that he had to set these things aside while at Univeil and just do it. His ability to think that way was no doubt due to Kisa.

Kisa, the girl who would sacrifice anything in the world to see out her dreams there, was now playing the role of a boy. Even through her indifferent words and her unconcerned expressions, she conveyed her level of passion for Univeil theatre. He was definitely not the only one affected by Kisa this way.

It was an individual practice day and almost all of the Quartz 78th class, his year, were gathered together. "Even though we started here 'bout a month ago, this might be my first time talking to anyone else in our year like this.” Suzu Orimaki spoke with a beaming smile. From day one, he treated everyone in the same bright friendly way. Yet even he seemed worried about his relationship with the others.

In response, Yonaga said, "It feels like there are a lot of walls between us," as he thought back on these words. (…Walls, huh?) He felt as if wherever he went, the walls would be the same. Could his choices even change this path? Should he just give up? But even though he was once alone inside those suffocating walls, now he had others to talk to under a sunny sky. He suddenly had a memory. About what happened that day. About his birthday.

After his brother's cries stopped and the house returned to quiet, he gently opened the fridge. One large slice of cake was left inside. He hated himself for even something like that making him feel so heavy. If that cake were here right now, how would that scene look? He still couldn't picture it well. Leaving home to live on his own was probably the best he could do for now. He took in a big breath.

In that room from before, the breaths he took over and over were heavy and dull. Now, in the clear Univeil air, he was worried whether he could even breathe it in well. But he wanted to.

"I really feel like we're going to be working together with the others a lot for the next three years." Kisa spoke up next to him while Suzu nodded. ――Today is a good day. Then, he suddenly thought, it's nice to have a birthday on a day like this. Despite that parts of himself that wished for so many things, for right now, this was enough.

*TL Note: the original JP word used here 義理の弟 is somewhat ambiguous between half-brother and step-brother (in some contexts it can also mean brother-in-law). But the Q&A used the phrasing 異母弟 which is much more clear as half-brother.