Halloween Nerd

Let’s start with stuff that has nothing to do with Screamfest. We arrived on Thursday, the con started on Friday, and we didn’t actually see it until Saturday. Why for? ‘Cause Old Town, yo. 

Bars, cars, props, shops, an amusement park and even a haunted house. We checked out some of the shops, had a few beers, saw some amazing classic & vintage cars and I even almost pushed down some kids after a zombie invaded my personal space in the haunted house. 

They had all of the main strip decorated for Halloween. Old movie monsters walking about and small sets done up to serve as a backgrounds for photo-ops with said monsters. 

Then, I heard the Vincent Price Thriller monologue. It was louder than any other music playing, and seemed to be kind of, playing from everywhere. And then this happened:

My sister edited all the Old Town pics. Not bad, Eh?

They were pretty good dancers. After that, we headed back to the hotel to change and go get some food. About the time we ordered said food I started to feel physically ill. Turns out going from a relatively healthy diet to essentially drinking grease for a couple days wasn’t my best move. Needless to say, I didn’t make it to the pool party. 

Shots, shot, shots, shots shots…

Saturday we made it to the convention. First thing we saw was the hearse & creepy car show.

And hey! Christine was there.

We met a zombie and cool voodoo creepers in the parking lot.

The freaking vendors room was packed. Standing room was non-existent. In the celebrity area I caught a glimpse of George A. Romero and Patricia Quinn, but I’m not the “stand in line for hours to meet people” type. So instead we hit a horror radio how-to panel because I’m also not a “crowded to fucking capacity panel” type.

Due to extreme caution and downing a small ocean of pink stuff, I was safe to actually attend that night’s pool festivities. Talking, drinking, and rave light dancing/mock-murders in the pool-facing rooms ensued. Everyone was there.

Even Cobra Commander showed up.

OH! On our way back to our room, the elevator tried to kill us. That is not sarcasm. Just thought you should know.

Sunday was much more tame. The vendor room actually had space to breathe! I love breathing space.

I even bought some stuff.

One room of the convention held a Tribute to The Haunted Mansion. This exhibit was done by Mucklebones, and their work never ceases to amaze me. It was awe-ha-ha-some. So awesome that I took 592 pictures of it. 

This awesome tree was at the end of the exhibit. It’s not technically part of the mansion, considering the Haunted Mansion gift cart, it kind-of made sense. Kind-of.

After that, we headed home. Sorry That this post is so damn late. Sometimes, those unavoidable life-upheaving/changing things happen. Sometimes they even happen all at once. I’m not going to get into the meat & ‘tatoes of it. Just know that for the most-part it was fucking awful, but there were a couple things that were actually, really quite good. 

Okay soooo, materials. The original materials list called for cheese cloth and fabric stiffener. Turns out gauze pads and watered-down glue work too. And are cheaper. The original instructions can be found here, in case you're not as parsimonious as I.

Crap you need:

Gauze pads/ white cheese cloth

Bowl

Balloons

Disposable PLASTIC cups

Watered-down white glue / fabric stiffener

Tape

Stabby-type pin

Googly eyes / black circles

Now do this:

1. If you've ever made a papier mâché anything, you should be familiar with watered-down glue. If you went to public school, you should be familiar with papier mâché. If not, it's glue and some water. If using the stiffener, pore it into a bowl. I used Glue-All, 'cause it's boss. No, you can't eat it. I said no!

2. Stack two plastic cups butt-to-butt or mouth-to-mouth. You'll want to tape them together, unless you feel that you need a balance and/or cleaning challenge.

3. Air up a balloon just a bit. Put it in/on the top cup.

4. Go get something to drink, you look thirsty.

5. Gauze pads: Remove any cotton padding. It's stupid anyway. Stretch the gauze about. Say you accidentally tear a whole or two into it. That's okay, they're dead, they can't feel anything. Cheesecloth: Cut some 8 inch squares. Wee.

6. Soak your cloth o'choice in your liquid of also choice, then put it over the balloon. This step may result in icky hands, so man-up prior to it. Then let it dry. Wash your hands while you wait. Then continue to wait a long-ass time (like half a day, this shit takes forever).

7. Stab that balloon right in it's soulless face.

8. Remove the cloth. You now have a ghost carcass.

9. This is the time to glue on some eyes. Onto the ghost, I mean. Not yourself. 

10. Put some...Where the hell are you going? 

10b. Put some string or fishing wire through the ghostly head. Somehow, that sounds dirty...

11. Just stare at it. Yeah.

Bam. Craft project complete. 

First thing on the list: The bat mobile!

na-na-na-na-na-na-na, oh... Never mind.

Yeah, an actual mobile with non-actual bats! Exactly what you pictured, right? One of the selling points, besides disappointing people when they realize that bat mobile does not equal Batmobile, is that it's totally customizable.

You can hang the bats however you want, as long as you want to hang them in the 3 pre-cut holes. I guess you could use them as separate pieces, though that ruins the "mobile" part and people will throw rocks at you and then you'll be exiled because WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

Oooh, cornery

Also, unless you have a stupid high ceiling, this thing works best in corners. (Not sure what "stupid high" converts to in the metric system...)

Onto the next thing, which is more than one thing, really.

These Hallowe'en cut-outs I saw from afar, and were an instant sell. Glossy on one side, not so much on the other. For reasons unknown I am on team matte. I don't know if I'm using the whole "team" thing right. Should've just said I like the papery side better, but I already typed it so screw it, I'm committed now.

Didn't notice it when I took this photo, so no, I'm not sure what was going to the left. Whatever it was, it pissed off the owl and offended the witches completely. Pumpkin man seems to be happy about it. Maybe it was a matching outfit for his tie. The disapproval makes sense now.

In part one of the H.E. posts, I mentioned that I bought some stuff from the Sinister Signs booth. I did, and if you can guess what I bought, you're a stalker and that shit is creepy. Stop it.

Keratinized filamentous epidermal growth fashion accessories

I bought hair bows from a sign booth. Because I'm an adult. It says so on my driver's license. And on my hand so I don't forget that. Thanks mom!

Now that I got the only things covered that aren't made-a-paper, time for more paper.

I'm not gonna lie, I had trouble with this next one. There was a big 'ol selection of these and I went back to this vendor three times in two days, struggling to make this decision. It was ultimately between a "Halloween tree" and cannonball corpse here. The tree was great but skeleton man was cheaper. The only real problem I had with him was, I just didn't like the eyes.

I solved that problem. With acrylic paint. AND PAIN.

An invisible lady for each arm!

Oh look, a random stuff party is happening.

I wasn't invited. Apparently paint-blinding is a faux pas of some sort.

Are you one of those people who suck at keeping things alive but got drunk once and decided to buy a dozen mice just because? If so, have I got just the thing for you!

Introducing Mouse Graveyard! (Mouse Coffins sold separately.) 

Alright, so, maybe it's just table décor and not specifically for mice who have ceased to be. There's actually 6 tombstones and the fencing is longer, but it's in my contract that I have to be terribly lazy when setting things up. I tried to fight it, really I did.

  The only complaint about it, is that it only has three pieces on fencing so it's more of a "put up against a wall and hope no one notices" decoration. 

But hey, if you don't like the incomplete fence, you can nix it completely for alternative use. The backs don't have any text, making them ideal for place cards... For guests... At your mouse funeral!

Welp, that was all the things I bought. Other than soda to mix with liquor and food to counteract the liquor. And water. Sooooo much water. 

Oh, and just one more thing: I found out yesterday* that Dollar Tree is already selling Halloween merchandise, so here's hoping the gap between posts isn't unforgivably long.

One can dream, right?

Halloween Extreme is/was (whatever) a collab expo by Transworld and Netherworld Haunted House. The easiest way to describe it would be a Halloween & horror expo/merch area with how-to’s and panels. (If the thought “That’s it?" just ran through your head, search “Transworld haunt show" on YouTube a proceed to shut your mind’s cake hole.) These haunt expos are usually somewhat (a lot) bigger than H.E., but not so much open to the general public. That is until this one, so I was great with that compromise.

The set-up was a jumble of accessory shops, props, masks, collectibles, and even a random carnival game. Most of my favorite booths were selling generic Halloween knick-knacks and acting as souvenir shops for prop companies & haunt houses, AKA: Where I spent most of my money. (which I’ll show off in pt. 2 of is post).

One had vintage-style Halloween stuff:

Another had a big-ass castle AND a dragon:

<>

One of the booths I really liked (that wasn't a "souvenir" stand) was Sinister Signs. They had a freakin’ awesome-looking booth with old lock & key replicas, faux gauges, and yes, signs! The money I actually had and the money I wanted to give them for things were two very different amounts, but I still managed to spend a couple bucks there (and yet bought not one thing I listed above).

Then this guy happened.

Guess what he does when you try and take a picture. Just guess.

If you guessed “runs at you full-speed, scaring the pee-pee out of your body and producing ultra-blur" then you’re both correct and oddly specific! Oh, and also, I totally paid the 50¢ to see the “Thing" in the booth behind him. It was definitely a thing. Such a thing that thing was. All my monies are belong to gimmicky side shows. 

  There was a haunted bouncy house, though I don’t think that ghost was a professional/experienced haunter, being that any amateur knows you’re supposed to be IN the building. And no, he wasn't trying to scare the guy standing in front of it. Neither moved all weekend. Not much, anyway.

There was also a pumpkin carving seminar. It seemed more like an hour-long advert for “pumpkin tattoos” (those exist, turns out) and Dremel. I lost interest after 5 minutes and moved on. On a related note, I’m totally getting some Dremel crap. Damn it.

What else you want? You want some bloody stuff?

Done.

How about a creepy guy in a fancy hat?

Tada!

Okay okay... What about... Octopusinachair!

There ya go.

Did I hear horror movie museum?!

Nope. Sorry, they didn't have one....

Just kidding!

Boom. Makin’ dreams happen every day.

Finally, the demo floor! (Yes, this joyride is almost over.) Even “Er mah gerd” speak couldn't describe how excited I was. Though once I got here, I immediately regretted not having a better camera (this feeling returned as soon as I began editing these pictures). Come! Share my regret!

Being that I've now used a crapload of words, I’ll just short-hand summarize the rest: Two days, bought stuff, saw things, lost mind, lost mind again, ate food, drank liquids, slept, was still tired, all the things hurt, worth it.

I'm not quite positive who thought it up, but I have a feeling it was inspired by that guy at the bar who you can clearly tell went last-minute costume shopping. Drunk. "Fuck it, there's booze." (I went as a bloody rabbit 2 years in-a-row, to the same place, with the same people. I'm familiar with that sentiment.)

  "I get the hobo/pirate connection. I can even get behind the zombie thing. but vampire? I just don't see it."

Oh yeah?!

I mean, really. He's even got a personal grassy patch and feet decor. FEET. DECOR.

This was a gift from my boyfriend. To-date, it's the most unusual Halloween figure I own, which is saying a lot and simultaneously makes it awesome. It's going to be difficult to out-weird this one. I only recently acquired it so I haven't had much of a chance to try, but oh buddy, am I going to.