For science!

Ok. What you're gonna want to do is chop up a cucumber and put it in a bowl. Then you're gonna sprinkle a generous portion of salt on top. Then you're gonna drizzle them with a balsamic vinaigrette and gently shake to combine, leaving you with a cool and refreshing summer snack. In 15 seconds dangerous and burly men are going to drag me away to an unknown second location. Remember everything I've taught you. I love you

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

People always get so weird about my participation in the Flat Earth Advocacy Group. For the last time, we aren't cranks, we aren't conspiracy theorists, we're definitely not geocentrists, and our policy think tank is fully aware of what shape the planet currently is

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

the lion does not concern himself with what his art looks like when the canvas is flipped

My AI ringmaster told me abstraction keeps happening to his humans so I asked how many humans he has and he said he just goes to the brain-scanner and gets a new human afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding humans to abstraction and then he started crying.

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

im going through some bullshit someones homestuck fankid would experience

Insane that being in your 20s counts as adulthood. Being in your 20s just feels like the sequel to being a teenager

I think those fancomics where Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes is transgender are cute and fun but I also think it's a deep misunderstanding of Calvin's character to think he would transition into a heterosexual normie who goes to her high school reunion. That girl would have neopronouns and fang implants

Adult Calvin is a tattoo artist named Panthera who is the bassist in a terrible metal band called Captain Napalm and Hobbes helps do faer E injections

I know it's like 2 weeks too late to change it but I'm so mad I didn't realize that the band would obviously be called "Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS". I walk the road of shame