Passion Pieces

Okay, so apparently there’s discourse about whether Katara actually acted maternally/like a babysitter towards Aang. I saw this post a while back, and now I just saw another one where someone flat out denied that Katara was motherly. This is a little ridiculous to me because this just really isn’t something up for debate, it’s an undeniable fact. 

So let’s just get this over with.

Two of the biggest distinguishing emotional factors between a caretaker-kid dynamic and a relationship of equals (platonic or romantic) are present within the Ka/taang dynamic, that is:

1. One person always confiding in the other person about their personal problems and the other person never doing the same.

2. One person always playing the role of “the bigger person” in conflicts in the relationship.

1. A.ang confides in Katara but Katara doesn’t confide in A.ang. 

This is pretty clear and simple. A.ang has confided in Katara about his intimate personal problems more times than you can count but Katara from the start of the show all the way to the end, never once did this with A.ang. 

Just so we’re clear, by “confide” I mean talking to him about her deeply personal issues purely for her own sake, not to sympathize or make him feel better. And we know that she can do this, cause she does it with her dad and then later with Zuko. She shares with Zuko and him only, her most personal and intimate story all without him even asking about it.

Katara: But we were too late. When we got there, the man was gone. [Voice begins breaking.] And so was she. Zuko: Your mother was a brave woman.

Of course all of this makes sense, younger kids depend on their caretaker (parent/teacher/babysitter) for stability and are less emotionally mature than they are, so it doesn’t make sense to dump your personal problems on them and even if you did they’re likely not going to be able to actually do anything about it. 

2. Katara is always the bigger person 

The times when Katara and A.ang had conflict, Katara always acted as the bigger person in the situation. She either remained patient and tolerated him, apologized first even when she did nothing wrong or she’d choose to just forget about what he did even if he doesn’t apologize. 

Katara wasn’t allowed to just stay mad at A.ang and have him work to fix their relationship/conflict. Just to make my point, I’ll contrast it with her relationship with Zuko. 

In the crystal catacombs, Katara is angry, frustrated and is not being nice to Zuko at all (rightfully so) and then when she starts to cry, Zuko chooses to ignore the fact that she was just yelling at him, prioritizes her feelings, sympathizes with her and extends an olive branch out to her. She didn’t have to be the bigger person in order for them to reach a resolution, she even tries to apologize for yelling at Zuko and he just tells her that it’s okay

Katara: [Enraged.] I don't? How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through! [Sits down.] Me personally! [She sits down and touches her necklace, begins to cry.] The Fire Nation took my mother away from me. Zuko: [He turns around to face Katara.] I'm sorry. [Pauses. Katara is now sobbing.] That's something we have in common.

Katara: [Apologetic.] I'm sorry I yelled at you before. Zuko: It’s Okay.

Then again in Book three, Katara is mad at Zuko and even gets to be a little petty too (again, rightfully so) and he remains patient with her for about four episodes, takes her anger in strides, listens to her and then actively works to make it up to her and fix their relationship. Once again, she got to just be mad and left the burden of reconciliation to Zuko as he was the offender in this situation.

With Aang, the burden of reconciliation is always on Katara, she’s the one who has to always resolve the conflicts in their relationship.

Here, Katara is busy taking care of all the stuff no one else wants to and A.ang suggests she abandons her responsibilities to come watch him goof off, then when she refuses to do that (because she’s not stupid), he accuses her of just being jealous.

Katara : [Resumed filling the pot with more vegetables.] Watching you show off for a bunch of girls does not sound like fun. Aang : [Disappointed.] Well, neither does carrying your basket. Katara: [Annoyed.] It's not my basket. These supplies are for our trip. I told you, we have to leave Kyoshi soon.

Despite the fact that she was not in the wrong here at all, she ends up being the one who takes the high road and goes to A.ang to apologize to him first. 

Aang: Katara! You showed up! Katara: [Somewhat concerned.] I wanted to make sure you were safe. You really had me worried….I’m sorry. Aang: Me too…

Then of course, you have the occasions of Katara choosing to remain patient with Aang. 

Aang : [Lashes out.] I'm sorry, okay! It's a desert cloud; I did all I could! What's anyone else doing?! [Pointing his staff at Katara.] What are you doing‌?! [She returns his attack with a shocked look on her face.] Katara : Trying to keep everyone together. Let's just get moving. We need to head this direction.

And then occasions of her choosing to just forget about his offenses without him having to apologize. For instance, the Ember Island Players kiss, after which she just forgets about it by the next episode, or A.ang yelling at her for something that was not her fault in the finale and her still forgetting about it without an apology by the end.

As the eldest daughter myself, it was quite easy for me to recognize what was going on here because I’ve displayed these exact behaviors myself. As a teenager, I never confided in my younger siblings about my personal problems and I tried to be the bigger person in conflicts cause I knew they weren’t emotionally mature enough to actually solve the problem. 

I’m sure anyone who’s looked after kids before, especially when you were younger, can relate to what Katara was doing with A.ang and if someone doesn’t believe these behaviors are distinctly reflective of a caretaker-kid dynamic, then there’s one other relationship in which this behavior is displayed, a codependent relationship, where one party (Katara) believes this is the only way to sustain the relationship and feel needed. Take your pick, cause either way, it’s still a bad relationship to become romantic

Textual Evidence And Scene-Framing Implications

(or just common sense)

When I first watched the show as a twelve year old, I was sold that Katara was going to be playing a caretaker/babysitter role in A.ang’s life by the end of the fourth episode. 

We all know what typical caretaker/babysitter/older sister behaviors look like but for some reason, whenever it comes to Ka/taang we pretend like we don’t.

Over the course of the show, I noticed those two factors I talked about above specifically and then multiple framing and writing choices only served to reinforce this interpretation. 

You have the typical parent/older sister/babysitter doing domestic work while the kid tries to show them a cool new trick and the caretaker responds with “that’s nice, honey” without looking at them.

Aang: Hey Katara, check out this airbending trick! [Katara taking no notice and continues to sew.] Katara: [Nonchalantly, still focusing on her task at hand.] That's great, Aang. Aang: [Disappointed, stops performing the trick.] You didn't even look. Katara: [Looks over to Aang and attempts to show enthusiasm.] That's great! Aang: [Dismayed.] But I'm not doing it now.

You have Katara saying she uses positive reinforcement and only “gentle nudges in the right direction” on A.ang complete with her talking to Toph with the typical soft, nurturing and calm mummy tone like a mother talking to her son’s teacher.

Katara: [Trying to help Toph teach.] I've been training Aang for a while now. He really responds well to a positive teaching experience. Lots of encouragement and praise. Kind words. If he's doing something wrong, maybe a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Then of course you have the La Pieta (Mother Mary and Jesus Christ) framing, Katara feeling comfortable dressing up as A.ang’s mum, Katara tucking him into bed, fixing his clothes(can’t remember the episode this happened but I’m sure it did), this scene:

Katara: Stop rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk! Aang and Sokka: Yes Ma’am!

and the list goes on and on. 

You then have a whole episode dedicated to diving deeper into Katara’s parentification and motherliness with the characters explicitly stating that she does act motherly and according to Sokka, has been doing so since their mother was killed, which is almost seven years at that point. 

(But sure…the kid who never knew a day of hardship or heavy responsibility in his life up until a few months ago is totally on her level, I call that an insult to Katara’s character)

You also have the fact that the show points out that Katara has been doing most of the domestic labor around camp since their mother died and Sokka didn’t because at that point he saw domestic chores as “women’s work” but hunted because he perceived that as being a more masculine activity.

Now, aside from the two distinguishing factors I talked about, if one or two of these framing and writing choices were done, I could’ve given them the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe it was just a mistake, coincidence or it means something else. But all of these things put together creates a context that paints a picture of the true nature of Katara and A.ang’s dynamic. 

I saw it that way, so did my family, friends and apparently half of the ATLA fandom. And here’s the thing, a romantic pairing being described as having a babysitter-kid dynamic isn’t a common critique of ships, because this dynamic is quite distinct and easily discernible for most people. 

Authorial Intent and Behind-The-Scenes Information 

This interpretation of their relationship seemed solid and was quite easy for me to identify, so I assumed A.ang’s crush wouldn’t be taken too seriously and the writers would go the Dipper-Wendy and Princess Bubblegum-Finn route (which would’ve undoubtedly taught kids much better lessons than the ADULT characters telling A.ang and young boys watching to be persistent with girls and eventually they’ll have to come around to you) 

So, when they started trying to insert romance into their dynamic (like in The Cave Of Two Lovers), It was like mental whiplash and I cringed so bad. It was so weird and uncomfortable and now I know a large part of that discomfort was cognitive dissonance. 

The show made it clear that Katara acted like A.ang’s caretaker and now they were forcing them to kiss to get out of a cave??? Then proceeded to do both dynamics at once?? I don’t know about others, but my brain was incapable of reconciling those two dynamics into one.

When I later got online, I still just got more confirmation that this interpretation of their dynamic was deliberately and intentionally crafted by the writers and was very much their mindset/vision for the characters. 

You have this

You have this interview by Mike and Bryan done after the show was already airing

Bryke saying in another interview that Katara’s protectiveness over A.ang was a motherly quality, in other words, she acts like a momma-bear towards him and they write it like this on purpose.

You have them saying Katara struggled to accept A.ang romantically because of maturity.

(And these are the guys who pushed for Ka/taang to be made canon and publicly mocked teenagers and kids for shipping Zutara btw)

It’s clear that Katara’s motherliness was a very deliberate and intentional aspect of her characterization.

Final Thoughts  

Those framing choices combined with those two major factors and all the behind-the-scenes information on top of that, it paints a very clear picture of what this dynamic actually was and denying that is a little ignorant.

And I’d suggest that if you make all these arguments to someone and they still insist that Katara did not act motherly/like a babysitter towards A.ang, then just walk away cause you’re arguing with a wall.

Katara wants to find her mother's killer and Aang imposes his beliefs on her and dictating how she should act on her feelings rather than letting her make that decision herself and making it look like she's evil for wanting closure and compared her to Jet of all people. It's okay because Katara finds out he's right all along.

Aang can't go into the avatar state without losing control of his pent up anger that endangers everyone around him but it's okay, Katara will pull him out of it while pacifying him like a child.

Aang makes a selfish decision, diminishes the same trauma Katara has of losing their culture, gets everyone killed because he trusted a random guy more than his wife but it's okay because Katara can bring everyone back and forgive him enough to still stay with him.

Aang wants to rebuild his culture and neglects his other non-airbender children while he travels the world with his favourite child but it's okay because Katara is there to be the parent that stays and turn a blind eye on how he treats his other children.

Katara can leave her homeland and not rebuild her people's waterbending culture and stay in the republic city to be known as the wife of the avatar and take care of the kids and not be celebrated for her contribution to ending the war as a strong warrior and be known as a healer and not have a statue and only return to the Southern Watertribe after her husband passed away like she was locked up in a cage.

1. Katara had abandonment issues about her father leaving, homeboy risks his life to help her brother bring her dad back, then has the biggest smile on his face while she reunites with him.

2. Katara has unprocessed grief over losing her mother and Zuko helps her finally gain closure and then his sacrifice in the last Agni Kai helped her bring her arc with her mother full-circle by having her take down the threat and save him just in time where she couldn’t do the same for her mother.

3. Like my girl is parentified but with him she never plays the role of the caretaker and actually feels emotionally comfortable confiding in him about her personal problems.

4. Her tribe was decimated by his ancestors and he canonically puts far more attention and effort into rebuilding it and apparently remains specially interested in The Sourthern Watertribe’s welfare over all the other nations.

5. Katara wants a guy who will take the war seriously and Zuko’s as serious as possible. I mean, she asks him want they should do when Aang disappears and he spends all of his time taking responsibility and trying to find a solution, even tries to get Iroh to fight Ozai.

6. Then there’s this whole thing that I still haven’t gotten over. (this wasn’t one of the desires of her character but it was still so romantic)

7. Then top all this off with the fact that he already matched her self-expressed physical preference when they met, “Tall and handsome”.

The show gave us a list of Katara’s struggles and desires and Zuko’s basically like “yeah, let me just satisfy all of your desires for you”. Like??? And they want us to believe that she wouldn’t have fallen for him at some point??? How???

I mean half of this stuff he does for her on this list was while she was still mad at him! She was angry at this boy and he’s just like casually making all her dreams come true, what is happening???

I finally finished it...

I think I redid it like 4 times, and I still not satisfied with the end result, but to this point I'm tired,

maybe I'll redo it somewhere in the future, who knows ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

peter has lost literally everyone he ever loved in one of two ways (memory/death) and seems to be going through some kind of harrowing metamorphosis completely alone while still being spiderman

the chat blanc timeline

his father was monarch

his mother was once the peacock miraculous holder

nathalie worked with monarch as mayura

tomoe worked with monarch

he’s (1) reason his father died

he’s the reason his mother died

his mother’s corpse was in his basement

his mother’s videos

ladybug was not injured in the final battle

gabriel’s actual wish

all of what happened to ladybug in the london special

his father left him a letter wanting him to become the next hawkmoth

marinette stole said letter

his mother’s childhood lore

felix’s childhood lore

nathalie’s lore???? (nobody knows this one yet)

he is a sentimonster

his amok is in the twin rings (?)

felix is a sentimonster

kagami is a sentimonster

kagami and felix know they are sentimonsters

kagami and felix know he is a sentimonster

ladybug/marinette knows he is a sentimonster

nathalie knows he is a sentimonster

his girlfriend is ladybug

alix knows his identity

alix knows ladybug’s identity

alya knows ladybug’s identity

ladybug willingly TOLD alya her identity

felix knows ladybug’s identity

kagami knows ladybug’s identity

felix knows monarch’s identity

kagami knows monarch’s identity

ladybug/marinette knows monarch’s identity

nathalie knows monarch’s identity

plagg knows monarch’s identity

tikki knows monarch’s identity

tomoe knows monarch’s identity

ladybug/marinette knows mayura’s identity

the secret he erased from rena’s mind was monarch’s identity

ladybug was in love with chat noir

and now that adrien's finally trying to confess to her, marinette's one second away from climbing the walls or gnawing her way out of the situation

i'm legit done. how'd the square get worse