Into the Life of A Nursing Student

I'm not ready to talk to anyone about this yet so I'm hoping maybe this will be the first step and help me gain some courage....

After losing 11 pounds I felt amazing. I was so proud, so happy. But I got complacent and started eating bad again and getting out of my exercise routine. I gained a lot of it back and I was so mad at myself. So, about a month ago, whenever I eat a big meal or have a binge, I make myself throw up as much as I can. The past week, I've been doing it even more and I'm starting to feel the effects. I'm bloated, dehydrated, my stomach hurts, and most of all I am just downright depressed. I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. Even my family can tell there's something off about me but I continue to tell them nothing is wrong.

I'm to the point where I just want to get better. Maybe I'll end up talking to someone, maybe I won't. I hope that I can but I am making a promise to myself that I will no longer binge, eat "dirty", screw up my work outs, and I will not make myself throw up. 

Breakfast: 1/3 C oatmeal with flax seed, cinnamon, soy milk, banana

Lunch: Grilled hot dog (holy cow I haven't had one in forever) with ketchup and mustard, cheetos (Good going, Haley)

Dinner: 1/2 Asian tuna wrap and tomato cucumber salad from Rusty Bucket

Thennnn we went out for a night of drinks for my friend's birthday...not the best day I've had.

Breakfast: 1/3 C oats with soy milk, apple, cinnamon, flax seed and a sprinkle of brown sugar

Lunch: Kroger Lite Greek Yogurt, banana, about 1 C of homemade pasta salad, and celery

Dinner: corn, cottage cheese with pineapple on top (my fave!), and a slice of Ezekiel sprouted bread with 1/2 avocado and mustard

Snacks: handful of pretzels and an orange

OKAY I'M BACK.

I've been on a downhill slump and instead of abandoning tracking my diet and exercise, that's when I should've paid closer attention to it.

Breakfast: homemade French toast casserole and an apple

Lunch: I woke up super late so breakfast was my lunch lol which screws up my whole day and I hate it!

Dinner: cottage cheese, 4 egg whites, grape tomatoes, 1/2 avocado, and pepper

Snacks: Pretzels dipped in chocolate. I have NEEDED chocolate lately

Breakfast: 1/4 C oatmeal, blackberries, peaches, and cinnamon

Lunch: Had a binge :( not an awful one but it was still a binge

Dinner: the other half of my tilapia filet, broccoli, and about a 1/2 C mac and cheese

Snacks: a few tortilla chips at a Mexican restaurant

Breakfast: 1/4 C oatmeal with blackberries and peaches

Lunch: hard boiled egg, grape tomatoes and ranch

Dinner: California chicken salad from Outback

Breakfast: 1 egg, 2 egg whites scrambled with cheese, apple

Lunch: Protein shake, blackberries and grapes in cottage cheese

Dinner: baby spinach, grape, tomato, 1 pineapple ring, and vanilla yogurt salad and a grilled wrap with avocado, brown rice, corn, and black beans, and hot sauce (the wrap was delish!)

Snacks: cinnamon almonds

Breakfast: 1/4 C oatmeal, cinnamon, apple

Lunch: Grapes and almonds and a nutrigrain bar, green tea

Dinner: Breadstick and Grandma's Homemade pasta

Snacks: Girl scout cookies, two rings of pineapple

Breakfast: 2 slices whole wheat toast with honey and cinnamon

Lunch: Leftover Olive Garden and edamame

Dinner: Homemade Grandma's Pasta (penne, parsley, fresh mozzarella, garlic, parmesan, and italian diced tomatoes) and a breadstick (basically I have lived off of pasta for the past 24 hours)

No snacks! woo!