Free Bitch

I was really sad last time i was active on tumblr, because i’d been talking to this girl for like three months who then played like i’d misunderstood all of our texting and lunch dates and she had only ever wanted to be friends. like i’m stupid. She just really hurt my feelings and tbh we haven’t spoken in these 6 months. and it’s kind of sad because i lost a friend because she just couldn’t say “hey i lost interest”. But it’s okay now. 

about a month later i met my girlfriend. We’ve been together a little over a month now and i’ve genuinely never been happier. Which sounds so fucking dumb and me of a year ago would be grimacing so hard right now. But she’s just... so honest with me and she just cares so much about me and appreciates me and I just never saw this for myself. I never saw someone looking at me like she does, or loving my body the way she does. if anything i thought i might find someone to tolerate me. but she does so much more than that, i’m just so happy and we just picture our lives together and it’s so yucky and amazing. 

so yeah, i’m just incredibly happy. she’s beautiful and smart and kind and funny and I’m falling so hard. 

In other news, I’m closing on my first home in ten days. Holy shit. that’s been crazy as well. my best friend is moving in with me and my girlfriend is gonna spend the night a lot and i’m just so excited. Overwhelmed but excited.

But you won't even look at me when I'm awake.

and like she made me tear up too, which i don’t do a lot, even in therapy.

I like myself. I think I’m pretty cool, and nice, and funny, and whatever. I just don’t really believe other people think that, and for this woman, who knows (pretty much) every shameful and bad thing about me, to sit there and tell me she thinks good things about me, was like so comforting after a really shitty week.