HAIL YES!

No guy who has ever told a girl “I never cum from head” is fully telling the truth.

He's not?

Not fully, no.

why is this all so complicated

No guy who has ever told a girl “I never cum from head” is fully telling the truth.

He's not?

if you think about it... cum is also bone broth.

There’s also a great way to ruin a person’s perception of Caesar dressing.

Well now I don’t want this late night wrap I grabbed.

send your roughest songs by t. swift to the guy you're with to get the real vibe check.

FUCK JOHN MAYER

People who’ve been making smash burgers are clearly scamming you lot.

I KNEW IT.

It’s a racket to upcharge people for two sheets of potential meat that’s thinner than a pickle and you gotta lie that it’s delicious.

nonononono you're all coming over to dad's house for the weekend, I'll throw some real burgers on the grill, byob.

People who’ve been making smash burgers are clearly scamming you lot.

I KNEW IT.

Realizing you can make a killer divorced dad playlist without much effort but it would be very sad and hit you in the feels >>>><<<<

It’s collaborative!

Realizing you can make a killer divorced dad playlist without much effort but it would be very sad and hit you in the feels >>>><<<<

Do you want a link to one of mine?

If you told me this about a year ago, I’d take you up on it but I’m not in the right headspace for such a bomb to the emotions 😭

Do you want HBK’s girlie pop playlist?

Realizing you can make a killer divorced dad playlist without much effort but it would be very sad and hit you in the feels >>>><<<<

Do you want a link to one of mine?