they say a picture speaks a thousand words, but what if even the image you captured could not convey the complexity of your profound feelings?
he nodded with a satisfied hum, the device on his hand felt much heavier than it shouldโve been when he first held it.
โwell...what did you take?โ
kenma hesitated for a moment, his thumb hovering just above the tiny trash button. the sharp gaze of his lingered over the smallest of details he couldnโt help but notice, while every new discovery seem to tug on his heartstrings like an angel on the harp.
there were many thoughts running through his mind when he contemplated his options, but somehow, the thought of seeing your reaction intrigued him more than the natural route of deleting that particular picture.
โsome photos...of what i like.โ
โoh? can i see them?โ
the obvious excitement dancing in your bright hues was more than enough to have him let out a sigh as he passed your camera back to you.
it was just a split second.
โkenma, are the clouds only what you like?โ
you chuckled, observing the subtle differences in each picture of the sky he had taken.
โi do like them...but thereโs something else...โ
or someone else, but he couldnโt bring himself to say it.
he was threading his sentence lightly, eyes flickering from his phone to the images you were previewing.
when he was playing with the depth of field and trying to refocus the lens manually; it was in that one monent.
โhmm? and whatโs that?โ
you nonchalantly asked, still going through the series of skies and some random photos of blurred fingers and sandy ground. his sudden shift in the type of silence lingering in the air did not go unnoticed by you as wondered what was wrong with him today.
that one particular picture that had him in a bundle of nerves like a ticking time bomb.
you were gazing at the endless stretch of the deep blue sea, seemingly getting lost in itโs beauty when each crush of waves were like an orchestraโplaying right into your heart.
and in that tiny viewfinder of a rusty camera, it was as if the whole universe held its breath together with him at that magical moment; the way your hair was carried by the breeze in a slow dance, to the way your eyes were soft and curious; as if you were lost in the wonders of what the sea had to offer.
if he had admired you a second more or rushed a second less, he wouldnโt have captured the rarity of your profile.
โsince when did you...?โ
there were a million train of thoughts going through your mind when you brought your attention back to the very male you may or may not have a huge crush on for years. kenma wasnโt exactly the type of person whoโd notice your feelings for him when you were practically close to him since birth. and yet, there was something odd in the way he was looking at you that day.
he thought you might understand what he was trying to say immediately, but he realized maybe he wasnโt all that clear about it.
โi thought of deleting it but...โ
you knew. you knew exactly what he meant but at the same time you were afraid.
what if that wasnโt what he was thinking? what if you were just jumping to conclusions because if he hadnโt liked you since before, why now?
that it was too beautiful for him to delete?
that you had been watering his garden of love for you for years and only to have the flowers bloomed in that miraculous of a moment because he was a blinded fool? that kuroo was right about him taking you for granted or that he owed that annoying male twenty bucks now because of it?
how could he express his feelings without actually saying them?
โyou know...i got it. i mean, i think i got what youโre trying to say but...do you really?โ
you placed the once treasured device next to you, eyes staring right back at the sea. and this time, wishing the waves could pull you back into the water as they retreated.
โi mean...of course iโd be happy to know that you finally saw me in a different light but, do you really?โ
it was his turn to watch the waves crashing against the shore, and for him, he wished they would just drown out all of his hesitation.
โdo you really want something more?โ
but what more could he ask for when you had always been enough for him. he was just too comfortable with your affection that he failed to realize how it was only meant for him.
โare-are you sure it wasnโt just a spur of a moment? i donโt want to...you know...get my hopes up only to realizeโโ
he really was an idiot, wasnโt he?
the way you were trying so hard to make sure you didnโt accidentally slip those actual words out, the way you were trying to make sense of his own inability to string the right words.
โโyou didnโt actually feel the same way.โ
a pause. a beat. a shift in his gears.
โi thought of deleting it but...โ
โi couldnโt do it.โ
โbecause i finally realized the reason behind your every smile when you look through that tiny hole.โ
you had seen the way kenma would light up whenever he bought a new game, or when he was playing volleyball with that new orange head of a friend.
and yet, you truly regretted letting go of that camera, for the smile tugging at the corner of his lips was slowly dying your cheeks crimson from the fondness you could gently feel.
โso...whatโs the reason...?โ
he mulled over the right words to say this time.
โyou could really see a whole world through it.โ
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